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Things you wish you were better at writing

_Lynn_ said:
A positive and heartfelt PM is a good way to thank them.

That's what I did. With their approval, I mentioned their names on a thread. I wouldn't be here without their inspiration and mentoring.
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"Dear Sirs and Madams,

I am writing to thank you for the filthy porn you've created that has inspired my own creation of filthy porn.

While my doctor says it's unhealthy to pin printouts of your work to my cell walls, I feel it therapeutic. He has suggested I stop consuming the pages, however, for my own wellbeing, and that of the staff who have been, in recent times, extracting the pages from my movements in order to check for typos.

You are truly a talented collection of filth-writers, and I can only stand in your shadows, wishing for a moment to shine.

Yours non compos mentis,

Jason."

Also, wibble.
 
JasonClearwater said:
"Dear Sirs and Madams,

I am writing to thank you for the filthy porn you've created that has inspired my own creation of filthy porn.

While my doctor says it's unhealthy to pin printouts of your work to my cell walls, I feel it therapeutic. He has suggested I stop consuming the pages, however, for my own wellbeing, and that of the staff who have been, in recent times, extracting the pages from my movements in order to check for typos.

You are truly a talented collection of filth-writers, and I can only stand in your shadows, wishing for a moment to shine.

Yours non compos mentis,

Jason."

Also, wibble.
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Subtle and elegantly silly. I laughed. :D
 
Oh, Lordy, where to begin...

- A short story. I cannot write a short story to save my damn life. NaNoRiMo is nowhere on my literary horizon.

- Morally ambiguous characters. Mine always feel so artificial to me. About some things, moral, upright person, and about others, they're a total dickbag. I have a hard time keeping people middle-of-the-road. My characters are either meant to be likeable, or you're supposed to despise them for being awful human beings. I punch Alt-Right idiots/Nazis for fun and duty, so evil rarely has my sympathies.

- Plain, average people. I no doubt do it sometimes, but I rarely mean to. I find them hard to write about. I can have a character who's a dolt, but at least they have other, superior qualities, even if it's just ramped-up levels of empathy for other human beings. Bland, average people, though, I can't readily write them.

- Poetry. If it's more difficult than a limerick, count me out.

- Stories devoid of any humour whatsoever. Even my grim stories have funny moments. And the one I have done that contains no humour would def not get published on Lit anyway. Too grim and downright horrific.

This is a small drop in the barrel, methinks.
 
BiscuitHammer said:
- A short story. I cannot write a short story to save my damn life. NaNoRiMo is nowhere on my literary horizon.
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Yes, I do find their idea of 50K being a 'novel' amusing, when I look at what Chloe whips up of an evening on here.

BiscuitHammer said:
- Morally ambiguous characters. Mine always feel so artificial to me. About some things, moral, upright person, and about others, they're a total dickbag. I have a hard time keeping people middle-of-the-road. My characters are either meant to be likeable, or you're supposed to despise them for being awful human beings. I punch Alt-Right idiots/Nazis for fun and duty, so evil rarely has my sympathies.
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Do you ACTUALLY go about punching Nazis? I've always meant to ask.

BiscuitHammer said:
- Plain, average people. I no doubt do it sometimes, but I rarely mean to. I find them hard to write about. I can have a character who's a dolt, but at least they have other, superior qualities, even if it's just ramped-up levels of empathy for other human beings. Bland, average people, though, I can't readily write them.

- Poetry. If it's more difficult than a limerick, count me out.

- Stories devoid of any humour whatsoever. Even my grim stories have funny moments. And the one I have done that contains no humour would def not get published on Lit anyway. Too grim and downright horrific.

This is a small drop in the barrel, methinks.
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Nothing to be ashamed of there. Poetry. It's a tricky art.
 
JasonClearwater said:
Do you ACTUALLY go about punching Nazis? I've always meant to ask.
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Yes, indeedy I do. I tank for Antifa, at least, the branches of it I trust not to be overrun with stupid anarchists just looking to make trouble.

But I happily punch white supremacists. Nazis (or whatever buzz-word they go by) are never acceptable. We fought a war about this, the whole world was involved.

Truth of the matter is, I'll punch just about any extremist, but there is a deep joy in punching white supremacists. We have them here in Canada, and I don't even say 'Sorry!' after socking them in the jaw.

At least one of my characters in a Nazi-puncher. I'm so very proud of him. ^^v
 
BiscuitHammer said:
Yes, indeedy I do. I tank for Antifa, at least, the branches of it I trust not to be overrun with stupid anarchists just looking to make trouble.

But I happily punch white supremacists. Nazis (or whatever buzz-word they go by) are never acceptable. We fought a war about this, the whole world was involved.

Truth of the matter is, I'll punch just about any extremist, but there is a deep joy in punching white supremacists. We have them here in Canada, and I don't even say 'Sorry!' after socking them in the jaw.

At least one of my characters in a Nazi-puncher. I'm so very proud of him. ^^v
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Well I never.
 
MelissaBaby said:
Love is easy, sex is hard.

So far, I feel that I have been pretty successful at everything I've tried.

But that just means I'm still new and haven't found my downfall yet.
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Prepare for doom and you'll be relieved when it doesn't occur. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, yada yada. Write as if it's all happening to you and it's unavoidable. Overwhelming emotions! Irresistible passions! Relentless reckonings! Swept by tides of change! The itch that only [insert fetish here] can scratch!

Or just churn out pandering strokers that grab eyeballs and votes. That works too.
 
Hypoxia said:
Prepare for doom and you'll be relieved when it doesn't occur. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, yada yada. Write as if it's all happening to you and it's unavoidable. Overwhelming emotions! Irresistible passions! Relentless reckonings! Swept by tides of change! The itch that only [insert fetish here] can scratch!

Or just churn out pandering strokers that grab eyeballs and votes. That works too.
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Damn... been turning out stories that make me stroke. Wait... is there a difference?
 
JasonClearwater said:
Oh, so many things.

Punched a Nazi.
Met someone who's punched a Nazi.
Met a Canadian who didn't say 'sorry' upon punching a Nazi.
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Nazis don't get apologies. Except for I'm sorry I didn't get around to punching them sooner.

And always punch a Nazi when the opportunity presents itself. It's always the ethical choice. It may not be LEGAL, but it will still be ethical, and the right thing to do.
 
BiscuitHammer said:
Nazis don't get apologies. Except for I'm sorry I didn't get around to punching them sooner.

And always punch a Nazi when the opportunity presents itself. It's always the ethical choice. It may not be LEGAL, but it will still be ethical, and the right thing to do.
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You tank, I'll run DPS.
 
Things I wish I was better at writing include:
fantasy, pure fantasy - I can only seem to think let alone write about things I believe could really happen - can't step off that cliff, even if I do love watching Star Trek sometimes. But see, then again, Blade Runner is one of my favourite films because it feels like that's how the world really could turn out, if it hasn't already
comedy - shit at that
mystery/thriller stories, even though that's pretty much my reading of choice

On the subject of punching Nazis - I've known a lot of people who killed Nazis during that world war. For most of them it defined their lives, for good or ill. I've known a lot more people whose families were killed by the Nazis, and it only ever defined their lives for ill. Modern day Nazis need all the punching that can be meted out to them.

See? Not a lot of laughs or fantasy in that is there?
 
Sara2000Z said:
Things I wish I was better at writing include:
comedy - shit at that
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Comedy along with writing stories set in the past is my specialty. I often write 'kafka komedy', stories where anything that can go wrong does go wrong.

Comedy-drama is a delicate balancing act. For example a lesbian story I wrote last year called 'April Leads Julie Astray' is essentially a drama about two 18-year-old girls who have had difficult childhoods but to lighten things up, I have a plotline where a bumbling fat 19-year-old guy called Billy has a huge crush on Julie (to which she is not reciprocal), and asks her stupid and inane questions and says dumb things every time he sees her.

One thing I did struggle to write was a really sad story, but I found an unusual tactic to help me write one on the Romance board - listening to really sad songs while I was working on it. The story, 'Learning to Love Louise', proved to be a big hit.
 
I wish I was better at actual writing with a pen or pencil.

My handwriting has always been bad and difficult to read. When at work my secretary could decipher it but she preferred me to dictate, or outline verbally what I wanted. My wife can understand it sometimes.

If I take considerable care it might take me over an hour to write an A4 length letter with wide spaces between the lines, but that is physically painful for me to do.

In the 1970s I had access to word processing on a mainframe. That was the effective end of my handwriting. As soon as I could acquire my own PC - an IBM XT clone with a whole 10mb of hard drive, a 5.25 floppy, and WordStar 1512 - I stopped trying to write anything by hand.

Yesterday evening I hand-wrote a list of 'Jobs for Tuesday'. This morning I couldn't read one of the items on it. I had to ask my wife what I had written. Her suggestions were enough to trigger my memory and work it out.

Sometimes I get plot ideas in the middle of the night. I used to keep a reporter's notepad on the bedside table to write them down. I've stopped doing that. Often I couldn't read what I had written half-asleep and even when I could the ideas were usually useless. If they were good ideas I'd still remember them by morning.

But it would be nice to be able to write letters that the recipients could read. :eek:
 
RetroFan said:
Comedy along with writing stories set in the past is my specialty. I often write 'kafka komedy', stories where anything that can go wrong does go wrong.

Comedy-drama is a delicate balancing act. For example a lesbian story I wrote last year called 'April Leads Julie Astray' is essentially a drama about two 18-year-old girls who have had difficult childhoods but to lighten things up, I have a plotline where a bumbling fat 19-year-old guy called Billy has a huge crush on Julie (to which she is not reciprocal), and asks her stupid and inane questions and says dumb things every time he sees her.

One thing I did struggle to write was a really sad story, but I found an unusual tactic to help me write one on the Romance board - listening to really sad songs while I was working on it. The story, 'Learning to Love Louise', proved to be a big hit.
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Huh, yes, now you mention it, I can see how listening to certain kinds of music inspires different moods in writing - certain songs have become sort of anthems for most of my stories.
But comedy - I think it's the plotting of it I find hard!
 

I wish I was better at writing the feelings of orgasm.

I cannot find the words to do them justice.


 
Sara2000Z said:
Things I wish I was better at writing include:
fantasy, pure fantasy - I can only seem to think let alone write about things I believe could really happen - can't step off that cliff, even if I do love watching Star Trek sometimes. But see, then again, Blade Runner is one of my favourite films because it feels like that's how the world really could turn out, if it hasn't already
Click to expand...

Curious if you read my geek pride story, Public Static Void. It got a lot of comparisons to Blade Runner, which I'm not sure I've actually seen all the way through. Is the reboot any good?
The thing that dates a lot of dystopian cyberpunk for me (like Gibson's Sprawl series) is what a technological world power they thought Japan would become. They do lead in robotics though, especially in making sexbots due to the gender imbalance in their population. Not sure if more robots will really help with that...
 
I took typing in junior high and so learned to babble. I took drafting in high school and cartography in junior college and so learned to print legibly, not the thin elegance of dad's Palmer hand, but it works. I filled many wee little notepads with stanzas, outlines, structure charts... but not texts. Keyboards long ago cured me of extended scribbling. Anything scribbled seriously will soon enough be keyboarded anyway so why expend the extra effort?

I used to dictate songs, essays, plots into voice recorders. Transcription is fun. Now I must merely kick-start the voices in my head. Make me write again!
 
Hypoxia said:
I took typing in junior high and so learned to babble. I took drafting in high school and cartography in junior college and so learned to print legibly, not the thin elegance of dad's Palmer hand, but it works. I filled many wee little notepads with stanzas, outlines, structure charts... but not texts. Keyboards long ago cured me of extended scribbling. Anything scribbled seriously will soon enough be keyboarded anyway so why expend the extra effort?

I used to dictate songs, essays, plots into voice recorders. Transcription is fun. Now I must merely kick-start the voices in my head. Make me write again!
Click to expand...

I had to teach myself to type because of my missing index finger. Now I'm on a mission to make an ergonomic keyboard I can actually use!
Do you use any music notation software by the way? I have a friend considering either Sibelius/Ultimate or Finale (for professional use).
 
Alice_Rosaleen said:
Do you use any music notation software by the way? I have a friend considering either Sibelius/Ultimate or Finale (for professional use).
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My first forays into cyber-music abused the AdLib soundcard (pre-SoundBlaster) and its Composer warez on a Hercules screen, like punching a yellowed player-piano roll. Great stuff. Now my eyes are too bad to read scores. I've regressed to by-feel only. Sucks. I can almost read some tablatures.
 
Hypoxia said:
My first forays into cyber-music abused the AdLib soundcard (pre-SoundBlaster) and its Composer warez on a Hercules screen, like punching a yellowed player-piano roll. Great stuff. Now my eyes are too bad to read scores. I've regressed to by-feel only. Sucks. I can almost read some tablatures.
Click to expand...
:(
I can't read or write music. I only know a little about cyber-music/electronica because of friends who do R&D at Moog Factory. Really have a thing for psytrance now.
 
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