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Insider or Outsider?

midwestyankee said:
@nurseclynn, thank you so much for adding your voice to the conversation. I'm especially gratified to see that this little thread may have contributed to your decision to de-lurk and begin an active forum life. I think you'll find that the neighborhood is every bit as enjoyable in person as it is when viewed from the outside.
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:) thank you so very much MWY. I am looking forward to it. Look for me on the boards.
 
I'm bumping the thread because I've seen a couple of comments recently about new people being ignored as they begin posting.

If you're new or new-ish, please browse the discussion here and see that being a welcoming kind of place has been a topic of discussion before. It's very much a humankind of place with plenty of failings, but if you're feeling ignored it's not our intention to make you feel that way.
 
I haven't seen this thread before and I'm glad you just bumped it because, in my relative newness, something Bunny said on the first page stuck:

"9.) Also, if you're new at this, it's understandable that you want to talk about it. But you must also understand that most of us got past our "overenthusiastic newbie" stages a long time ago. We're not going to share your enthusiasm and, in fact, may find it irritating if it continues on too long. Basically, don't make everything about you and your new fetishes/relationships/whatever, and you'll probably be ok. Also, the less "overenthusiastic newbie" stuff you post, the less you'll have to be ashamed of later. (And, yes, if you hang around for long, you will be ashamed of the dumb stuff you posted when you were new.)"

I'm still feeling very overenthusiastically newbish and I've discovered about thirty things I already am ashamed of posting. So this was a real kick in the face.
I have just decided that I'm actually going to try and think before I post something.
 
This thread crossed my mind recently - I read a post and automatically went to click the 'like' button :eek:. It's not helpful to interrupt the flow of a thread by posting a 'well said' or 'I agree' comment which doesn't really add anything. Maybe new posters think they're being 'ignored' if they don't get a direct response to something they say.

I'm an intermittent visitor and a reasonable percentage of the (admittedly inane) posts that I add are leapfrogged :D It's just how things go and you get used to it.
 
barefootgirl69 said:
*quietly subscribes, planning to read through*
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Glad to see you here BFG.
Pull up a reading chair and make yourself comfortable.
I'm looking forward to you adding your voice here when you are ready.

And Consilience... I don't recall any posts you need bury your head over. :rose:
 
Lurk

I lurked for awhile on these boards. When I first started posting one of my "favorite" posters said Hi and referred me to some stuff she thought would be helpful to me.

I mostly feel welcome, although I understand the wary. I'm assuming there are many trolls and looky-loos. I feel the same way when someone new comes to one of my websites that I consider "home".
I want to be respectful of what you all have here. I am looking for friendship, mostly, though I do love to poke and flirt. I like the music threads. Sorry if I get annoying there. In advance, I mean.

I'm sure I'll make some faux pas. In fact, I already have. Note to self: Always look at the forum in which you are posting before hitting *send*.
It would be cool if there was a *facepalm* smiley.

I've read this entire thread. This should be placed as a Sticky. :)
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Gianbattista said:
It would be a good sticky.
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Except that sadly most stickies tend to go unnoticed, such as the Don't post personal ads here, so maybe it would be better to just occasionally bump the thread rather than sticky it. I know at least in the Cafe a few threads stopped getting traffic after they were stickied and were eventually unstickied as a result.

I skimmed a few pages of this thread and it was interesting, I had forgotten this conversation.

I have some more thoughts on the subject too, but I seem to struggle phrasing them clearly, so maybe I'll return later when they have crystalized a bit.
 
The Holy Harlot said:
I'd also like to say how much I am enjoying the sense of humour and enthusiasm of some of the newer posters. I just smiled at a little exchange between farawyn and CnC....nothing remarkable, but just sociable. Reminding me of how welcome CnC and others made me feel.

New voices, new questions, the SAME questions with different experience or opinion, serve to teach us all. I am still new, I will always me new and learning because ....it's how we are, how we 'play'. ( play is perhaps not right terminology for what it is we do) but.... I am interested in how we live and love, as well as how we fuck, and for me these aspects are interlinked, and in learning from others I learn about myself, and my partner....because the more views one has on things, the rounder the perspective and the wider the view we can take.
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Amen, sister! :D
 
I just read this whole thread. I am new and will be feeling my way around, but it was to see "inside" how people feel.
Of course, I am neither a looky loo nor a troll. Just a girl looking for some like minded people to talk to once in a while.
Wonderful thread. Thank you.
 
jlwill702 said:
I just read this whole thread. I am new and will be feeling my way around, but it was to see "inside" how people feel.
Of course, I am neither a looky loo nor a troll. Just a girl looking for some like minded people to talk to once in a while.
Wonderful thread. Thank you.
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Glad you are here. I hope you can settle in and make yourself comfortable.

We are all here looking for others to talk to ~ bounce ideas off of, and compare notes with. Among other things. :rolleyes:

Welcome jlwill

cb:heart:
 
The Holy Harlot said:
I'd also like to say how much I am enjoying the sense of humour and enthusiasm of some of the newer posters. I just smiled at a little exchange between farawyn and CnC....nothing remarkable, but just sociable. Reminding me of how welcome CnC and others made me feel.

New voices, new questions, the SAME questions with different experience or opinion, serve to teach us all. I am still new, I will always me new and learning because ....it's how we are, how we 'play'. ( play is perhaps not right terminology for what it is we do) but.... I am interested in how we live and love, as well as how we fuck, and for me these aspects are interlinked, and in learning from others I learn about myself, and my partner....because the more views one has on things, the rounder the perspective and the wider the view we can take.
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D'awww. :heart:

CnC is hilarious. You have all been so cool.
(Pssst... Are she and MWY a thing of some sort? The chemistry is UNDENIABLE! :eek:)

Thank you, Elle.
(BTW, I love you new avatar, and I did briefly see your pretty eyes...:heart: )
 
Farawyn said:
D'awww. :heart:

CnC is hilarious. You have all been so cool.
(Pssst... Are she and MWY a thing of some sort? The chemistry is UNDENIABLE! :eek:)

Thank you, Elle.
(BTW, I love you new avatar, and I did briefly see your pretty eyes...:heart: )
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Um - It is not for me to speak for them - but frankly I doubt it. ;)
and you might be wise to use care when suggesting who might be having a thing with whom...:rolleyes:

there is an awful lot of "play" on the boards that is not a true "tell" of anything. :eek::p
 
cascadiabound said:
Um - It is not for me to speak for them - but frankly I doubt it. ;)
and you might be wise to use care when suggesting who might be having a thing with whom...:rolleyes:

there is an awful lot of "play" on the boards that is not a true "tell" of anything. :eek::p
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Totally kidding.
Someone recently asked that of me on a professional board with an online friend, and it was the same type of thing.
Sorry guys! :)
 
Farawyn said:
D'awww. :heart:

CnC is hilarious. You have all been so cool.
(Pssst... Are she and MWY a thing of some sort? The chemistry is UNDENIABLE! :eek:)

Thank you, Elle.
(BTW, I love you new avatar, and I did briefly see your pretty eyes...:heart: )
Click to expand...

Haha! We're a thing alright!
It's called friends :)
Except for those times when we piss each other off :p
Then we're just pissed off friends for a while :rolleyes:
And.. you are so insightful. Good call, I'm funny. :D :D
 
We were all new at one time. I feel kind of new since I don't post much.

In that time, I've come to understand online is somewhat like real life -- it's awkward to wander up to a group of strangers no matter where you are (in cyberspace or face to face) and say hey! I have a question!! You just hope people won't make assumption and will be nice to you.

I'm a moderator for a local spanking group and we talk about this issue all the time - how do we make new folks feel welcome to walk in to a group of total strangers harboring this crazy secret lust for spanking? New people have some responsibility for being social, asking questions, following up and playing nice. And we, as the "old" people have some responsibility for remembering what it's like to be new!

It's the same here. As a new person in the BDSM boards, keep posting, ask question and follow up. How many posts have been started with a ton of thoughtful replies and the original poster never shows up again?

I am a little surprised new posters feel this here in this group. If it were the General Board, I'd say for sure. You all seem like a bunch of nice kinky people here. :)
 
cookiecat said:
We were all new at one time. I feel kind of new since I don't post much.

In that time, I've come to understand online is somewhat like real life -- it's awkward to wander up to a group of strangers no matter where you are (in cyberspace or face to face) and say hey! I have a question!! You just hope people won't make assumption and will be nice to you.

I'm a moderator for a local spanking group and we talk about this issue all the time - how do we make new folks feel welcome to walk in to a group of total strangers harboring this crazy secret lust for spanking? New people have some responsibility for being social, asking questions, following up and playing nice. And we, as the "old" people have some responsibility for remembering what it's like to be new!

It's the same here. As a new person in the BDSM boards, keep posting, ask question and follow up. How many posts have been started with a ton of thoughtful replies and the original poster never shows up again?

I am a little surprised new posters feel this here in this group. If it were the General Board, I'd say for sure. You all seem like a bunch of nice kinky people here. :)
Click to expand...

Where is this board of which you speak?
 
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