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Teach-in .... a choice

Tsotha said:
Haha. Yes, ok... I see what you mean. However, I'd say it is more an effect of there being an overlap with me trying to learn metre. I normally write free form. So this may be me overcompensating for what I see as a deficiency in my writing (lack of any technique). It should normalize soon. ;)

Did you feel the poem was too well-behaved, then? To be honest, I didn't make much of a compromise between what I intended to write and how it came out — though I did modify a few words to make iambic feet, at times.
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dogwatch said:
His lust for her consumes his days and nights
Captive of unattained karnal desires
Yearning for the slightest recognition
His lust for her consumes his days and nights
Won her in eternal matrimony
Assumptions unfold of abiding bliss
His lust for her consumes his days and nights
Captive of unattained karnal desires
Click to expand...

You've both confused the hell out of me! Lines 1/3/4/5 and 7 should rhyme and also 2/6 and 8
 
pelegrino said:
well, I begun ok, I thought, but my brain went another way. I have no discipline to stick to the form. Still I found it good practice, kicking off my lazy habits, and entertaining.

A FAILED TRIOLET

I'd rather be with brains to let,
With memory of a gold fish,
Than seat and write a triolet,
Conceptualizing your kiss.
This form to it would be inept,
Fair go I give it but I miss,
What it was like I don't forget,
It had no form, it was a bliss.
Click to expand...

:caning:
 
UnderYourSpell said:
It's a 'near rhyme' something often used in poetry (it would rhyme to a Cockney :) )
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Yeah, the thing is, in my mind it doesn't come even close to rhyming. Interesting. I probably can't spell lawn. :D I'll have to remedy that.
 
UnderYourSpell said:
You've both confused the hell out of me! Lines 1/3/4/5 and 7 should rhyme and also 2/6 and 8
Click to expand...

Oh no! I am a bad student. In rereading the first post I realize I mistook the meaning of "To rhyme or not to rhyme (or even both)." You were referring to the two forms one rhyms and one need not. Heck, I just ran with not rhyming.

Back to paper and pen.
 
Tsotha said:
"Lawn" rhymes with "gone"? :eek:
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double-eek!

Remec said:
*nod* Yep...dictionary even says they do. Have similar pronunciation guides both in regular English as well as IPA
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:confused:

wtf?

near, possibly, and as annie mentions it rhymes with the cockney pronunciation but all my life as an english bird 'lawn' has rhymed with 'born' and 'gone' with 'on' . . . very different!
 
butters said:
double-eek!


:confused:

wtf?

near, possibly, and as annie mentions it rhymes with the cockney pronunciation but all my life as an english bird 'lawn' has rhymed with 'born' and 'gone' with 'on' . . . very different!
Click to expand...

I think it may rhyme in RP when gone is pronounced more like gorn.

Just a theory.
 
butters said:
:confused:

wtf?

near, possibly, and as annie mentions it rhymes with the cockney pronunciation but all my life as an english bird 'lawn' has rhymed with 'born' and 'gone' with 'on' . . . very different!
Click to expand...

Heh...that's funny...little surprises in sound we discover around here

Yeah, I went and looked, just to be sure and the pronunciation guide says lawn (lawn) and gone (gawn). There was a second way of saying gone, which I have forgotten offhand.

So, like, to you stick an 'r' into 'wash' also? ;):D


:cool:
 
Remec said:
Heh...that's funny...little surprises in sound we discover around here

Yeah, I went and looked, just to be sure and the pronunciation guide says lawn (lawn) and gone (gawn). There was a second way of saying gone, which I have forgotten offhand.

So, like, to you stick an 'r' into 'wash' also? ;):D


:cool:
Click to expand...

gawn? :eek: must be a 'merican thing :D

no, wash sounds like gosh which does Not sound like gorsh/gawsh!
 
butters said:
double-eek!


:confused:

wtf?

near, possibly, and as annie mentions it rhymes with the cockney pronunciation but all my life as an english bird 'lawn' has rhymed with 'born' and 'gone' with 'on' . . . very different!
Click to expand...

Wow, here in the bread basket of the US lawn rhymes with gone rhymes with yawn. While born rhymes with porn.

How many 'r' sounds are in "lawnmower?"

Rhyming in a living language is clearly a tricky thing. Maybe we should try Latin.
 
Well, Tsotha's English sounds nothing like US / UK English, at times. For instance, I never had to use the word "lawn" while traveling for work. :rolleyes:
 
dogwatch said:
Oh no! I am a bad student. In rereading the first post I realize I mistook the meaning of "To rhyme or not to rhyme (or even both)." You were referring to the two forms one rhyms and one need not. Heck, I just ran with not rhyming.

Back to paper and pen.
Click to expand...

Well hey Angeline is always breaking rules to make a better poem, so why shouldn't you have an unrhyming Triolet? :)
 
Tsotha said:
Well, Tsotha's English sounds nothing like US / UK English, at times. For instance, I never had to use the word "lawn" while traveling for work. :rolleyes:
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Don't know what your work is but unless you've come across a superfluous patch of grass (unless you're into tennis!) that's more trouble than it's worth, then lawn will be outside your vocabulary needs :)
 
UnderYourSpell said:
Don't know what your work is but unless you've come across a superfluous patch of grass (unless you're into tennis!) that's more trouble than it's worth, then lawn will be outside your vocabulary needs :)
Click to expand...

I am an engineer. I used to work with microelectronics, but screw that. Now I dream of mowing lawns in a first world country. Will work for food. PM to negotiate. :p
 
SWEET FUCK-ALL

It is so noble doing sweet fuck-all!
Spiritual experience at its best,
The harder notions come, the harder they fall,
It is so noble doing sweet fuck-all!
I leave you with this thought: Let good times roll,
It may be in earnest or in jest,
It is so noble doing sweet fuck-all!
Spiritual experience at its best.
 
A Locomotive Rhyme (Triolet)

The boiler burps and hisses a song
as the stoker shovels coal in time
to the rhythm of wheels trundling on.
The boiler burps and hisses a song
of steam to urge the engine along
the iron rails laid to hammers' chime,
and a boiler's burp, and a hissing song
with the stoker still shovelling coal in time.
 
pelegrino said:
SWEET FUCK-ALL

It is so noble doing sweet fuck-all!
Spiritual experience at its best,
The harder notions come, the harder they fall,
It is so noble doing sweet fuck-all!
I leave you with this thought: Let good times roll,
It may be in earnest or in jest,
It is so noble doing sweet fuck-all!
Spiritual experience at its best.
Click to expand...

champagne1982 said:
The boiler burps and hisses a song
as the stoker shovels coal in time
to the rhythm of wheels trundling on.
The boiler burps and hisses a song
of steam to urge the engine along
the iron rails laid to hammers' chime,
and a boiler's burp, and a hissing song
with the stoker still shovelling coal in time.
Click to expand...

Applause!!
 
REFILL MY JAR
(a tritina)

You have run away so far,
That you seem a distant star,
But there's whiskey in the jar!

The content of yonder jar,
Is enough to drive me far,
Just to reach you, distant star.

Welcome me as your guest star,
Of the things we did so far,
Our collision was a jar.

Long far star, refill my jar.
 
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