Sex...& the Disabled

i can definately understand how medication can effect a sex life; i hate being on anti-depressents.

the fact that i'm single doesn't help either. lol
 
Pinnochio said:
i can definately understand how medication can effect a sex life; i hate being on anti-depressents.

the fact that i'm single doesn't help either. lol

I'm not on anti-depressents (sometimes think I should) but my meds also affect my sex life but I'm so very,very lucky to have my loverly lady BANDIT :heart: who accepts me as I am. :D
 
Pinnochio said:
i can definately understand how medication can effect a sex life; i hate being on anti-depressents.

the fact that i'm single doesn't help either. lol

I'll bet you're on Zoloft. See if you can't get your doctor to prescribe you something different. I'm taking Wellbutrin and it doesn't seem to have that particular side effect.
 
Hey Pinnochio,
Great thread. One of the neat things about Lit is, you discover that sex is not just for the body perfect people. On here you will find people with all kind of shapes, sizes and disablities. And the one thing that really needs to be said is that these bodies that people see, is just our earthsuits. I wrote something a few years back that goes something like this...

We all live in earth suits. Some look great, some too big, some too small, some in need of repair, some that are forever broken but the thing to remember---is the real person - is on the inside. What you see is just their earthsuit.

What we learn on Lit, is that yes people are horny... but more then that. People want to be wanted, desired, touched and loved. No matter who you are, this is really what it comes down to. Pinn, keep up the good work!
 
Pinnochio said:
I'm working on this and may post it in the 'How To' section of stories:

I write this not only for the people who have lived all their lives with a permanent disability but also for the people who are in a relationship with a disability or someone who is facing a drastic physical change which will effect their entire livelihood. It seems that in our society many topics of a sexual nature are becoming more and more mainstream an acceptable in a conversational setting. A topic that still seems to be an uncomfortable show stopper for most people is the sexual activity of the physically disabled. Yes, the physically disabled have sex, and yes having sex with a disabled person may be drastically different than sex with a ‘normal’ person. Here are a few things to think about and remember if you are in a sexual relationship where a physical handicap is present.

1. Conversation: no matter if you’re male or female do not be afraid to talk to your partner about sex. If your partner is physically challenged ask him or what they are comfortable with or what they are willing to try. If you are the one who is challenged explain to your partner what may or may not work, and what is uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid to talk to each other before, during, and after; questions like “Is this ok?”, “Am I doing this right?”, and “Maybe we should try something different?” are all acceptable and logical things to ask.

2. Experiment: Try different positions; if something doesn’t seem to be working change positions. Not all positions will be possible; for example someone wearing leg braces or has back problems may not be able to do things standing up, or may need to lean of something to do this. If a woman wants to be on her knees sucking a man who has trouble standing she needs to make sure his balance is ok. Another main thing is don’t focus on sexual intercourse. Most people think that without intercourse there is no sex but that is wrong. For example someone who may be partially paralyzed may have trouble getting an erection or keeping an erection. Focus on the touching and the kissing of body parts. Even though your partner may not be able to physically feel it they still can feel your warmness emotionally.

Being confined to a wheelchair all my life makes finding a female really hard. I guess my looks don't help either. I just wish I could have a date with a female. Also, I never see myself with another physically handicaped person. I uess I'm afraid of if I can't help myself, how can I help them? Does anyone else thinks/though the same way?
 
kkoozz said:
Being confined to a wheelchair all my life makes finding a female really hard. I guess my looks don't help either. I just wish I could have a date with a female.
You can't change your looks or the wheelchair but you can change the way you feel about yourself. You have to work with what you've got. Keep yourself and your wheelchair clean and presentable. If you rely on a caregiver make cleaning your chair one of their tasks. I do and people often ask if my chair is new. Just a few minutes a day makes a big difference and because the chair is part of you take pride in it. People notice. The wheelchair isn't keeping the women away, something you're doing or not doing is.

Are you putting yourself in situations where you will meet women? If you have confidence in yourself and make an effort you're bound to meet someone.

kkoozz said:
Also, I never see myself with another physically handicaped person. I uess I'm afraid of if I can't help myself, how can I help them? Does anyone else thinks/though the same way?
I had similar feelings at one time. But after getting to know two disabled women I started feeling differently. They each had desirable qualities and became more sexually attractive as I got to know them. Feeling sexual attraction for them was unexpected at first but the more I thought about it the better I felt. I started seeing possibilities instead of limitations and that makes all the difference.
 
hook848 said:
You can't change your looks or the wheelchair but you can change the way you feel about yourself. You have to work with what you've got. Keep yourself and your wheelchair clean and presentable. If you rely on a caregiver make cleaning your chair one of their tasks. I do and people often ask if my chair is new. Just a few minutes a day makes a big difference and because the chair is part of you take pride in it. People notice. The wheelchair isn't keeping the women away, something you're doing or not doing is.

Are you putting yourself in situations where you will meet women? If you have confidence in yourself and make an effort you're bound to meet someone.

I had similar feelings at one time. But after getting to know two disabled women I started feeling differently. They each had desirable qualities and became more sexually attractive as I got to know them. Feeling sexual attraction for them was unexpected at first but the more I thought about it the better I felt. I started seeing possibilities instead of limitations and that makes all the difference.

Thanks for the pointers.
 
ok guys, here's a topic for discussion. Do you find older women more appealling? i find a mature woman is capable of understanding a mans physical limitations. i'm not say young women aren't mature; many just seem to be more focused on look.
 
Pinnochio said:
ok guys, here's a topic for discussion. Do you find older women more appealling? i find a mature woman is capable of understanding a mans physical limitations. i'm not say young women aren't mature; many just seem to be more focused on look.

Oh hells bells, I tend to think that young women today are extremely shallow, even if you aren't handicapped.

In fact, I would go so far to say that the boys of today are even worse. I get this perspective from another board I lurk and occassionally post on where the age tends to be much younger than the Lit crowd. I like the Lit crowd better in general.
 
People's attitudes when I was in a chair infurated me.
 
I have a friend who's disabled due to an auto accident in her youth, and she was married to a guy who is disabled due to being one of the last people to catch polio in this country...he didn't get the vaccine when he was young, and it got him when he was older. Their marriage was derailed partially due to another disabled person...while it was all happening it was Days of Our Lives on wheels. I'm just sayin'.
 
I would say older women are more understanding...but I never had a relationship w/ either, so I am not 100% sure of my input.

Take care Lit-aholics.
 
man, i just read a news story about a couple who kept 11 disabled kids in cages. that's just sad.
 
Disability and Sex

This is a great thread to which I would like to contribute. I am confined to a wheelchair due to a spinal injury to my neck. I have been very happily married for over 40 years despite my limited sexual ability.
I can have full sex but my wife has to sit on top and be the dominant party. I can also give her sexual pleasure through oral sex, which she adores.
Having said all that I was always concerned for her complete sexual fullfilment so from the start of our marriage we talked openly about her fantasies and desires and my worries about my sexual ability.
This resulted in her revealling she would enjoy complete and full sex in a way which most couples do; I was so happy for her honesty and encouraged her to fullfill her desires in an open way rather than seek solace in secret affairs.
Since that initial frank discussion my beautiful wife has taken lovers whenever she felt the need to fullfill her sexual fullfillment; this was done with my knowledge, blessing and encouragement.
This has resulted in an open and honest relationship between us, which has lasted all these years.
Far from being jealous of her many lovers I found it sexually and emotionally exciting plus extremely satisfying. I felt I was giving her my love by allowing her sexual freedom rather than supressing it.
I wasn't excluded from her relationships, as I either witnessed them or my wife disclosed every intimate detail to me in an erotic manner which aroused and excited us both, adding to our own limited sexual pleasure.
Each of these extra maritial relationships has been written into my wifes journal in an erotic and sensual manner for me to read and enjoy at my leasure. I receive great solace and pleasure from this because I feel happy knowing my wife has had such varied sexual pleasures and for not supressing her sexual freedom.
I understand this is not for everyone but it has worked for us.
When we have got used to this site and can navigate it easier we hope to submit our erotic experiences for you all to read and maybe enjoy.
As we are new to this site we are still finding It difficult to find our way around and to post replies but with time we will get better.
Thanks for a great thread, which I hope we've contributed to in a positive and interesting way.
Please comment if you wish.
 
Scribbler-Mike said:
This is a great thread to which I would like to contribute. I am confined to a wheelchair due to a spinal injury to my neck. I have been very happily married for over 40 years despite my limited sexual ability.
I can have full sex but my wife has to sit on top and be the dominant party. I can also give her sexual pleasure through oral sex, which she adores.
Having said all that I was always concerned for her complete sexual fullfilment so from the start of our marriage we talked openly about her fantasies and desires and my worries about my sexual ability.
This resulted in her revealling she would enjoy complete and full sex in a way which most couples do; I was so happy for her honesty and encouraged her to fullfill her desires in an open way rather than seek solace in secret affairs.
Since that initial frank discussion my beautiful wife has taken lovers whenever she felt the need to fullfill her sexual fullfillment; this was done with my knowledge, blessing and encouragement.
This has resulted in an open and honest relationship between us, which has lasted all these years.
Far from being jealous of her many lovers I found it sexually and emotionally exciting plus extremely satisfying. I felt I was giving her my love by allowing her sexual freedom rather than supressing it.
I wasn't excluded from her relationships, as I either witnessed them or my wife disclosed every intimate detail to me in an erotic manner which aroused and excited us both, adding to our own limited sexual pleasure.
Each of these extra maritial relationships has been written into my wifes journal in an erotic and sensual manner for me to read and enjoy at my leasure. I receive great solace and pleasure from this because I feel happy knowing my wife has had such varied sexual pleasures and for not supressing her sexual freedom.
I understand this is not for everyone but it has worked for us.
When we have got used to this site and can navigate it easier we hope to submit our erotic experiences for you all to read and maybe enjoy.
As we are new to this site we are still finding It difficult to find our way around and to post replies but with time we will get better.
Thanks for a great thread, which I hope we've contributed to in a positive and interesting way.
Please comment if you wish.

Reading this made me very happy, Mike. What a wonderful perspective and solution you two have found! :rose:
 
Scribbler-Mike said:
This is a great thread to which I would like to contribute. I am confined to a wheelchair due to a spinal injury to my neck. I have been very happily married for over 40 years despite my limited sexual ability.
I can have full sex but my wife has to sit on top and be the dominant party. I can also give her sexual pleasure through oral sex, which she adores.
Having said all that I was always concerned for her complete sexual fullfilment so from the start of our marriage we talked openly about her fantasies and desires and my worries about my sexual ability.
This resulted in her revealling she would enjoy complete and full sex in a way which most couples do; I was so happy for her honesty and encouraged her to fullfill her desires in an open way rather than seek solace in secret affairs.
Since that initial frank discussion my beautiful wife has taken lovers whenever she felt the need to fullfill her sexual fullfillment; this was done with my knowledge, blessing and encouragement.
This has resulted in an open and honest relationship between us, which has lasted all these years.
Far from being jealous of her many lovers I found it sexually and emotionally exciting plus extremely satisfying. I felt I was giving her my love by allowing her sexual freedom rather than supressing it.
I wasn't excluded from her relationships, as I either witnessed them or my wife disclosed every intimate detail to me in an erotic manner which aroused and excited us both, adding to our own limited sexual pleasure.
Each of these extra maritial relationships has been written into my wifes journal in an erotic and sensual manner for me to read and enjoy at my leasure. I receive great solace and pleasure from this because I feel happy knowing my wife has had such varied sexual pleasures and for not supressing her sexual freedom.
I understand this is not for everyone but it has worked for us.
When we have got used to this site and can navigate it easier we hope to submit our erotic experiences for you all to read and maybe enjoy.
As we are new to this site we are still finding It difficult to find our way around and to post replies but with time we will get better.
Thanks for a great thread, which I hope we've contributed to in a positive and interesting way.
Please comment if you wish.

Thank you very much for letting us read your experiences. I can't wait to c ur stories.
 
thnx Mike, I'm glad you are a part of our community here. I'm not in a wheelchair, but I do have cerebral palsey and scholiosis of the spine. I guess with my experiences of growing up without girlfriend when I rarely get a chance at intimacy I focus all my attention on pleasing her; to hear her sounds of pleasures or even smiles sastisfies me in ways that few people will ever know.

Thnx Man
 
A thank you.

Thanks SweetErika, Kkooz and Pinnochio I didn't expect a response so quickly or as so understanding. Personally I get as much pleasure from knowing my wife is being sexually fullfilled as she does; "well not quite but I'm sure you know what I mean".
Listening and watching her positive responses to her lover is an incredible buzz; as long as she's receiving the pleasure she desires I'm more than happy. I never anticipated getting this much pleasure from our arrangement but I have. Even today we have been discussing past lovers, which has aroused us both.
I'm eager to relate our experiences but need more knowledge of the site and where to place them? There are so many topics its quite confusing for a newbie like me.
Thanks all; please keep in touch and assist when you can.
 
One thing that always works for me is touching and carressing, even in places where the feeling may be less or none at all. I can't feel much below my knees but knowing she is running her hand up my legs or any sort of carressing seems more satisfying to me than the actual intercourse. it's amazing that even with less feeling in your limbs how much the warmth of anothers touch can send shivers through your body.
 
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