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09-21-2012, 11:53 AM
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#226
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Literotica Guru
mwmnpa is offline
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Suburban Philadelphia
Posts: 9,686
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It took nine pages, but this thread literally lived up to its name.
__________________
"Now the thing that I call living is just being satisfied/ With knowing I got no one left to blame."
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09-21-2012, 11:56 AM
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#227
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Literotica Guru
Rainshine is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Terra Australis
Posts: 21,620
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mwmnpa
It took nine pages, but this thread literally lived up to its name.
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You read the whole thing? That's dedication.
__________________
I worry I won’t see your face light up again...
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09-21-2012, 11:57 AM
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#228
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Literotica Guru
mwmnpa is offline
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Suburban Philadelphia
Posts: 9,686
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rainshine
You read the whole thing? That's dedication.
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Not quite. But I will this afternoon.
__________________
"Now the thing that I call living is just being satisfied/ With knowing I got no one left to blame."
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09-22-2012, 04:55 AM
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#229
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Masticatus Nipplicanis
NippleMuncher is offline
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Lost in Imfamy
Posts: 4,103
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Baila, put your drink down, you've been warned!
Quote:
Originally Posted by pmann
The worst PM ever...
Quote:
Hey,
It's me, Nipplemuncher.
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Sends shivers down my spine.
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I told you, you had your chance to ride this gravy train and you missed it! Don't be a hater! 
__________________
Boobies are like toy trains ... They are meant for kids but big boys like playing with them too!
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09-22-2012, 05:21 AM
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#230
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Literotica Guru
Edensgarden is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 4,969
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Cleaning out the Inbox
I came across this beauty and thought I would share....
Baby, I had such a nice dream about you last night. I wonder if your goose bumps were popping up on your sweet soft skin. I was massaging your whole body as you lay on the table completely naked as you will be most of the time with me. I was about to start rubbing a nice scented oil into your warm relaxed body and decided to gently lick and then blow cool air across each spot I licked. Then I started dragging a Peacock feather across your back and up and down your spine slowly. My mind was engaged and started working on what I could do next and a grandioso idea hit me! I ran and grab some ice cubes and started sucking on them to make my lips and tongue cold and then kissed you as I sucked your flesh into my mouth with my cold tongue swirling against your skin. I let cold drops hit your spine and watched the goose bumps explode across your body. You were laughing and moaning with ecstatic pleasure and then you rolled onto your back for me to assault your front areas. I immediately kissed you deeply and passed the ice cube to your warm mouth and as placed another cube in mine you grabbed my hard cock and slide your cold lips around it. I almost exploded inside your throat when you start sliding your cold tongue up and down the vein of my hard dick and head. Then I climbed on top of you and rolled you over on top of me and placed my cold lips and tongue against your clit and hot pussy lips. Your legs clamped down on my head and you pushed your pussy hard against my face with a sigh. I started sliding my cold tongue as deep inside you as I could. You started sucking me harder and faster with your hand against your lips and moving both your hand and head up and down my shaft as fast and deep as you could take it. I felt your inner thighs start to tighten and tasted you starting your orgasm. Babygirl, I started sucking on you to get every drop of your sweet pussy juice I could from your fruit. and you started drinking down my cum as I exploded on your cold tongue. We calmed down for a second just grinding on each other and then turned to engage in a deep kiss to taste ourselves on each other....mmmmmm....it was heaven my sweet slave. I am going to do that to you for sure.
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09-22-2012, 09:26 AM
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#231
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just this guy, you know?
silverwhisper is offline
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: in a home, of course
Posts: 11,305
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it's a shame you can't embed pics in PMs cuz otherwise i'd suggest asking rainshine for the browneye av and replying with it.
rainshine: there's a reason i have avs turned off. :>
ed
__________________
"i think this line's mostly filler"--willow rosenberg, once more, with feeling, season 6, buffy the vampire slayer
exemplar of youthful snark: "does it hurt little boy? are you going to cry now? well suck it up and be a man."
psst! hey, wanna see a blog?
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09-22-2012, 09:31 AM
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#232
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Literotica Guru
Rainshine is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Terra Australis
Posts: 21,620
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silverwhisper
it's a shame you can't embed pics in PMs cuz otherwise i'd suggest asking rainshine for the browneye av and replying with it.
rainshine: there's a reason i have avs turned off. :>
ed
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I think I deleted it, I can do a screen cap and upload if I didn't. LOL
__________________
I worry I won’t see your face light up again...
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09-22-2012, 09:57 AM
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#233
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High heels and attitude
Saucyminx is offline
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 6,181
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*Snip*
Quote:
Originally Posted by Edensgarden
I came across this beauty and thought I would share....
you rolled onto your back for me to assault your front areas.
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Oh no! It was a frontal assault! Thank goodness he didn't sneak in from the rear.
__________________
My first new story in 3 long years
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. -- Kathleen Casey Theisen
Some days it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the leather straps. --Emo Philips
Don't think about it, just swallow. --my friend Eileen
She went around with a broken heart, and she wasn't sure who'd broken it. She thought it was herself, mostly.
― Ann Brashares
My Johari window Snatched shamelessly from Bailadora and Fire Breeze, because why not?
Come on in--the smut is fine
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09-22-2012, 10:00 AM
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#234
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just this guy, you know?
silverwhisper is offline
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: in a home, of course
Posts: 11,305
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that begs the question of whether edensgarden is kinky like that...
[ducks]
ed
__________________
"i think this line's mostly filler"--willow rosenberg, once more, with feeling, season 6, buffy the vampire slayer
exemplar of youthful snark: "does it hurt little boy? are you going to cry now? well suck it up and be a man."
psst! hey, wanna see a blog?
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09-22-2012, 12:48 PM
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#235
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Literotica Guru
Edensgarden is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 4,969
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saucyminx
*Snip*
Oh no! It was a frontal assault! Thank goodness he didn't sneak in from the rear.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silverwhisper
that begs the question of whether edensgarden is kinky like that...
[ducks]
ed
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There's nothing wrong with knocking on my back door, assuming you are a welcome guest and I've already allowed you to enter from the front. 
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09-22-2012, 02:31 PM
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#236
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Literotica Guru
Lord Pmann is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 13,012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Edensgarden
I came across this beauty and thought I would share....
Baby, I had such a nice dream about you last night. I wonder if your goose bumps were popping up on your sweet soft skin. I was massaging your whole body as you lay on the table completely naked as you will be most of the time with me. I was about to start rubbing a nice scented oil into your warm relaxed body and decided to gently lick and then blow cool air across each spot I licked. Then I started dragging a Peacock feather across your back and up and down your spine slowly. My mind was engaged and started working on what I could do next and a grandioso idea hit me! I ran and grab some ice cubes and started sucking on them to make my lips and tongue cold and then kissed you as I sucked your flesh into my mouth with my cold tongue swirling against your skin. I let cold drops hit your spine and watched the goose bumps explode across your body. You were laughing and moaning with ecstatic pleasure and then you rolled onto your back for me to assault your front areas. I immediately kissed you deeply and passed the ice cube to your warm mouth and as placed another cube in mine you grabbed my hard cock and slide your cold lips around it. I almost exploded inside your throat when you start sliding your cold tongue up and down the vein of my hard dick and head. Then I climbed on top of you and rolled you over on top of me and placed my cold lips and tongue against your clit and hot pussy lips. Your legs clamped down on my head and you pushed your pussy hard against my face with a sigh. I started sliding my cold tongue as deep inside you as I could. You started sucking me harder and faster with your hand against your lips and moving both your hand and head up and down my shaft as fast and deep as you could take it. I felt your inner thighs start to tighten and tasted you starting your orgasm. Babygirl, I started sucking on you to get every drop of your sweet pussy juice I could from your fruit. and you started drinking down my cum as I exploded on your cold tongue. We calmed down for a second just grinding on each other and then turned to engage in a deep kiss to taste ourselves on each other....mmmmmm....it was heaven my sweet slave. I am going to do that to you for sure.
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Was this a first PM?
__________________
*edited for cleanliness*
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09-22-2012, 03:52 PM
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#237
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Literotica Guru
Edensgarden is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 4,969
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pmann
Was this a first PM?
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The first of several with no response from me. 
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09-22-2012, 04:46 PM
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#238
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Literotica Guru
Lord Pmann is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 13,012
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^^^^^
Such a tease. The poor guy just wanted to delight in your garden. I'm sure he just copies and pastes that to every girl with pretty incisors.
__________________
*edited for cleanliness*
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09-22-2012, 05:04 PM
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#239
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Literotica Guru
Edensgarden is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 4,969
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pmann
^^^^^
Such a tease. The poor guy just wanted to delight in your garden. I'm sure he just copies and pastes that to every girl with pretty incisors.
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Oh pmann, you know I only allow a select few through my garden gates.
I sure he does copy and paste as many do. I've had some send me the exact same writing on more than one ocassion and some even have blanks in their passage where they just fill in the person's name they are sending the PM to.
That's special right there! 
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09-22-2012, 05:55 PM
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#240
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Lucky Girl
imemkay is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,931
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imemkay
May I...Ask, respectfully, if you find
(insert pic link here)
erotic?
I am 48, and a (career that indicates he is likely a douche) here in Central XXXX. I hope you're having a wonderful time here on Lit. And enough with the photons.
Yours,
Asshat
Nothing completely outrageous, but still probably trolling. At least he's not all "hey baby let's do it" but the more I think about it, the more annoyed I get. Four things bother me about this:
1. You don't want to be respectful, or you wouldn't keep sending PMs when I don't respond to the first one. That isn't respectful, it's wasting my time.
2. I didn't ask you to send me a pic. If you want to know if people find it erotic, how about posting it on the Erotic Couples Images thread? You'll get lots of feedback, I'm sure. I did not respond because after seeing the pic, the couple looked like they were not quite 18 and it frankly creeped me out.
3. "enough with the photons" Now you insult my profession and my adorable nerdiness! Poorly played, Asshat, poorly played. Be thankful you are not on my exam table or I'd fire up that KV and MAS and fry your tiny testicles right off.
4. Signed "Yours"? I do not know you...you are not mine!!
Please someone tell me I'm not the only lucky one to receive PMs from this guy!
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Well, this Asshat just doesn't give up! Just got PM #4 from this guy...same message, different pic attached. And this time he didn't comment on the photons. That right there tells you it's a cut and paste job.
How disappointing!!!
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09-22-2012, 06:11 PM
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#241
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just this guy, you know?
silverwhisper is offline
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: in a home, of course
Posts: 11,305
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um...i should point out that "yours" is a fairly traditional sign-off dating back to the days of writing actual letters.
but the rest is pretty damned goofy.
ed
__________________
"i think this line's mostly filler"--willow rosenberg, once more, with feeling, season 6, buffy the vampire slayer
exemplar of youthful snark: "does it hurt little boy? are you going to cry now? well suck it up and be a man."
psst! hey, wanna see a blog?
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09-22-2012, 06:14 PM
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#242
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Lucky Girl
imemkay is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,931
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silverwhisper
um...i should point out that "yours" is a fairly traditional sign-off dating back to the days of writing actual letters.
but the rest is pretty damned goofy.
ed
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Sure, you can point it out, and I get that....but everything about this asshat annoys me so I figured I'd throw that in, too! 
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09-22-2012, 09:49 PM
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#243
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Literotica Guru
Lord Pmann is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 13,012
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Have you girls ever just tried playing along? Sending a script back?
__________________
*edited for cleanliness*
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09-22-2012, 09:54 PM
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#244
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Lucky Girl
imemkay is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,931
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pmann
Have you girls ever just tried playing along? Sending a script back?
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I've thought about sending him a link to this thread but I doubt he'd take the hint!
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09-23-2012, 05:21 AM
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#245
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Registered User
NikiCole is offline
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Alabama
Posts: 425
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Not as creative as some....
Ah.... not my first, but he was blunt.
hi hottie
up nice and early on a Sunday morning?
horny?
My reply:
Seriously? This is how you're going to start a conversation?
He did apologize though. 
__________________
Lead me not into temptation, unless you are holding the leash.
"Finally had the 'talk' with my daughter about the birds & bees. Hardest part was explaining the whips and handcuffs" Weird Al
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09-23-2012, 05:27 AM
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#246
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Literotica Guru
zach20092 is offline
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: the world is small!!
Posts: 2,310
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Guilty!!! like i said.. been on lit for a few hours and all nice n *****!!
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09-23-2012, 12:42 PM
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#247
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Daddy's Fuckdoll
Eilan is offline
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Wouldn't YOU like to know?
Posts: 10,427
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pmann
Have you girls ever just tried playing along? Sending a script back?
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Anyone who wants to fuck with asshats should totally go to the BDSM Asshat Awards Thread and learn from satindesire. 
__________________
Too fucking cool for a sig.
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09-23-2012, 10:03 PM
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#248
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Queen of Geeks
satindesire is offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: One does not simply QWOP into Mordor
Posts: 13,148
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pmann
Have you girls ever just tried playing along? Sending a script back?
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I have. https://fetlife.com/groups/21570/group_posts/2911269
Er, are you on Fetlife? If not, I can copypasta it here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eilan
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 Oh come on, I'm not that good.
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Okay I am, but thanks anyway.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zach20092
Guilty!!! like i said.. been on lit for a few hours and all nice n *****!!
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Um, if you can type horny in a message, you can type it here. Also, seriously dude, gross. Don't treat women like walking pussy...we tend not to like that.
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09-23-2012, 10:50 PM
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#249
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Literotica Guru
Lord Pmann is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 13,012
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I am not on fetlife. I'm pretty vanilla. I just like boobs.
__________________
*edited for cleanliness*
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09-23-2012, 10:57 PM
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#250
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Literotica Guru
Rainshine is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Terra Australis
Posts: 21,620
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I don't see the point in fucking with them. People aren't sport.
__________________
I worry I won’t see your face light up again...
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