embarassing/funny/awkward moments during intercourse

having another couple in a bed a few feet away while she was ridng me. She started moaning a bit and the other couple started laughing...so of course I did too. Then to top it all off....her brother and his friend barged in a few minutes later. oops.

hit at waist level

Had a FWB relationship for over ten years with a very sweet & somewhat shy lady. An ongoing thing between us was the fact I never heard her ever pass gas. She would leave room or get up & run to bathroom or whatever to concele it. Me on the other hand felt comfortable enough around her & being an old farm boy would let it fly when needed & just say "sorry" or "excuse me".
Well one afternoon we were going at it doggie style on her bed when she shot one back at me. It wasn't a long or loud toot and didn't foule the air or anything, but she just frozze up & went quiet for a few seconds. First words out of my mouth were " see, I knew you did!" We both broke into uncontrolable laughter!! Needless to say I lost my stiffy & fell on the bed beside her. We had to suppend the love making til we stopped roaring & got the tears dried that were pouring from our eyes.

One morning after sleeping over at my gf's house we start the day off taking a nice shower together. She has a shower shower...a small little square one not one over a bathtub. So we do the whole scrub each other down routine (I love soaping up a naked woman and once we're good and clean start enjoying each others fresh, wet bodies. Neither one of us were much into the whole shower sex thing... too uncomfortable with a high probability of slippage and damage. So we figure we'll pull a quickie in the shower, I'll pop out the easy orgasm, then we'll continue our morning romp all clean and smelling good. I turn her around, she arches her back, and I slide into her..nice steady strokes while she rubs her clit. Almost perfect.. as she starts to cum and her cunt clamps down on my cock, I make sure to last through her orgasm before exploding inside her. As we're making our way out of the shower I start feeling lightheaded so I tell her to hurry up and let me out. Next thing I know I'm lying on the floor looking up at my girlfriend hysterically crying, crouching over me. Apparently I got about a foot or so out of the shower before I straight passed out..lol. I guess the combination of steamy hot shower and busting a nut didn't agree with me.

boring!

I was seeing a girl that was 6 years younger than me and we spent every spare moment together fucking. I also worked in a factory with tons of available overtime. On a work night when I wasn't supposed to be getting together with her I stayed for a double shift. I got home exhausted and found her waiting in bed. Routine was I lick and suck and make her cum on my face first, then she would ride me til I was close and then deepthroat me and swallow every drop. I was so tired that I passed out while I was licking her and started snoring on her clit. She was so close and the vibration made her cum so hard she squirted. I woke up to her smacking my head and telling me to get new sheets. Then after they were changed she climbed on my cock and rode me to two more climaxes. Not that I noticed. I was out 10 seconds after I slid inside. If I didn't snore so loud she might have riden me until she passed out too. Instead she punched me in the face and walked out on very wobbly legs. After she left I got insomnia.

Wow, Where To Start!!!

My sex life is FULL of these moments! I have so many that I can't go into detail, but I'll give you a few instances...

+broke a bed while fucking
+put a whole in a wall with my foot while fucking on stairs (same girl, same day as above)
+got caught masturbating so many times by so many people, I'd DOMINATE the thread to go into detail...
+was getting head after taking a condom off, and the girl complained of the rubber/spermacide taste, so to be nice, I sprayed chocolate whipped cream in her mouth to take the taste away... SHE DIDN'T LIKE CHOCOLATE... so she let it run down her mouth and onto my sheets, while making noises like a seal, trying politely to get it out of her mouth... to no avail!
+was so nervous with a girl that I had wanted to fuck for YEARS I couldn't get it up!
+fucked until completion MY FIRST TIME HAVING SEX, and didn't tell the girl I came, so she rode my dick completely out of her...
+was fucking with a condom on, and the girl got up, and had the condom still sticking between her legs, as she walked through her living room... dripping cum all over her floor all the while! THEN i threw it away, and she found it a couple days later... IT WAS A LITTLE STINKY! Needless to say, I got CUSSED OUT! LOL
+Put my hand down a girl's pants, and her hair was like BARBED WIRE and I thought I was going to lose a couple of fingers to PORCUPINE PUSSY! LOL
+fucked a stripper with a tampon in... (I know... I know... I know! You don't have to say anything!)

THANK YOU ORIGINAL POSTER FOR POSTING THIS THREAD... READERS, DON'T BE AFRAID TO RESPOND, WE NEED TO KEEP THIS SHIT GOING!

OMG I could go on FOR HOURS!

Should you want to read into a couple of these, click the link below... I wrote a story on some of my ESCAPADES! lol

http://www.literotica.com/s/erotic-tales-from-the-crypt

FUCK, FORGOT TO MENTION THIS ONE...

WHO TRIES TO FINGER HIS BUDDIES GIRL WHILE DANCING WITH HER AT A CLUB IN FRONT OF HIM?

>>>>>>>>>THISGUY<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

As newlyweds in the late '90's my husband and I called in to make love all day. This was before cellphones, emails, all sorts of ways to get hold of someone now so when we didn't answer the land line at home, who cares, right? Well mother in law found out husband called in sick from work. Guess who showed up at the door with chicken soup while I was riding her son? Of course she had a key and came in!

Caught in the middle of receiving oral sex. My poor Grandfather had come over to drop something off and didn't knock and I was having sex in my living room and he got an eye full. At least my partner was kind enough to continue to block the view so his eye full was mostly my partners ass.

Several years ago, my then-gf and I (I was 22; she was 19) were set to spend a New Year's weekend with my out of town family. I had booked us a room at a nice Colonial hotel along our route. I was really excited about this, since we didn't get a lot of time alone. I picked out a romantic suite with a four-poster bed and canopy. I packed us some champagne and chocolate. This was going to be a good night!

Well, inclement weather made the drive there slow and stressful. Once we arrived, I popped the bottles and began making my moves. Before long, she was on top, riding me for all she was worth. Suddenly, the canopy fell on us. The crossboard hit her in the back! This was not exactly how I had planned it out.

I jumped up on the bed and began to fix the canopy. It was quite awkward to be rushing around, my bonor wagging, trying to fix this thing. She, still dazed by the impact of the crossboard, didn't seem to mind much. We cracked up a little, before trying to re-set the mood.

We ended up going for it again. This time I chose the top, putting myself in harm's way.

This Thread needs a little.....

BUMP and some contributions.
Let's hear about it folks

So, I decided that I should give my posting virgnity to this thread because this story is quite funny. Well, at least I think so, as do my friends who like to torture me with it often...

Okay, so I was (I guess still am in most respects) a late bloomer when it comes to all things sex. Well, my first kiss at age 18, turned into my first make out session, which proceeded into my bed, which proceeded into my losing my shirt. Well, the guy, let's call him Gabe, got quite the hard-on during our escapade. He politely asked if I would assist him with his situation. I declined seeing as how, in my mind things, had already escalated rather quickly for me. And I had already told him, as he was taking my bra off, that while this was much appreciated, I would not be reciprocating this action and he said that was fine.

I rubbed him a few times through his boxers, but wouldn't give him a hand job. Well, the poor guy needed some relief, and asked if I minded if he jacked himself off. I said no so he went to work. Well, here's where the funny shit happens. He asked if I would help him by making noises.

Now mind you I was exhausted and coming down off of being a tad (read: very) intoxicated, but I still felt kinda bad. So while I didn't particularily WANT to help him, I decided to play along. Although it was probably NOT what he wanted. As he's rubbing one out, I start making these noises... "Ohh" "Yes" "Mmm" "Oh yeah" "So good" "Right there" aiding him in his masturbation session.

Although all of these noises were said in a COMPLETELY monotone voice. No enthusiasm or effort put into it. Hey, you can't blame me... The dude INVITED himself into my room to check his facebook and then INVITED himself to stay after all his buddies left. I did not initiate any of this. Apparently, he didn't mind as he came shortly thereafter this all started.

But just imagine that, a college freshman laying in bed next to a girl, rubbing one out as she practically falls asleep urging him on. My friends like to bring that up often. Still cracks me up though.... Damn horny college boys. All I wanted to do was sleep. haha

Some year's ago on a cold snowy Michigan day my Wife and i decided that since our 3 year old
was asleep in his bed, we would pull a "nooner" ,We were going at it in the missionary position with the sheet just barely over my ass and just as i was ready to cum i felt something jump on my back and heard my 3 year old Son yell "yahoo ! ride em Cowboy !" needless to say i collapsed onto her in a fit of laughter.Had to finish that MUCH later.After that i learned what the lock's on the door was for......and used them.Only hope he don't remember it.We still laugh about it.

tennman79 said:

Some year's ago on a cold snowy Michigan day my Wife and i decided that since our 3 year old
was asleep in his bed, we would pull a "nooner" ,We were going at it in the missionary position with the sheet just barely over my ass and just as i was ready to cum i felt something jump on my back and heard my 3 year old Son yell "yahoo ! ride em Cowboy !" needless to say i collapsed onto her in a fit of laughter.Had to finish that MUCH later.After that i learned what the lock's on the door was for......and used them.Only hope he don't remember it.We still laugh about it.

Click to expand...

... ...that's the funniest I've read so far...

oh come on Tennman79, I know you have more

Second time ever having sex (years ago). I saw on TV that to squirt, you need to wait till you feel the urge to pee, and then push. So I did. Long story short.... Pissed all over the bed.

misslondon said:

Second time ever having sex (years ago). I saw on TV that to squirt, you need to wait till you feel the urge to pee, and then push. So I did. Long story short.... Pissed all over the bed.

Click to expand...

Fantastic.... That really did make me lol!!

shybutcurious74 said:

Fantastic.... That really did make me lol!!

Click to expand...

At the time I was mortified.. I find it hilarious now!

misslondon said:

At the time I was mortified.. I find it hilarious now!

Click to expand...

I can imagine!!

Still, you've gotta laugh at these things eventually hahaha

another one. doggy style with my current partner, evidently a little too much air got pushed in. I tensed and sent a nice loud squelchy queef out. We stopped, cried with laughter, and every time I laughed a little more noise came out.
Musical vaginas.

misslondon said:

Second time ever having sex (years ago). I saw on TV that to squirt, you need to wait till you feel the urge to pee, and then push. So I did. Long story short.... Pissed all over the bed.

Click to expand...

...the stuff they show on UK TV, crikey! ....was it the Discovery Channel?...

basic_desires said:

...the stuff they show on UK TV, crikey! ....was it the Discovery Channel?...

Click to expand...

YOU AND ME BABY AINT NOTHING BUT MAMMALS

sorry.. I just couldn't resist.

using anal beads on my wife (the ones in my avatar) she started cumming and pulled the string out too fast... some poop came out

I'm glad this thread is still alive. Nice stories you guys. Keep them cumming.

tennman79 said:

Some year's ago on a cold snowy Michigan day my Wife and i decided that since our 3 year old
was asleep in his bed, we would pull a "nooner" ,We were going at it in the missionary position with the sheet just barely over my ass and just as i was ready to cum i felt something jump on my back and heard my 3 year old Son yell "yahoo ! ride em Cowboy !" needless to say i collapsed onto her in a fit of laughter.Had to finish that MUCH later.After that i learned what the lock's on the door was for......and used them.Only hope he don't remember it.We still laugh about it.

Click to expand...

That story made me laugh out loud!

My first time over her house. We're making pretzels. They go in the oven and we start making out. Her shirt comes off. You guessed it, the apartment starts to fill up with smoke. She still kept me around for a year or so after that.

A neighbor lady had offered to babysit while my wife and i went to dinner and a movie.After dinner enroute home we decided to park and screw like we did when we dated.after we finished and sitting there catching our breath in the nude we spotted an oncoming car light's and hurriedly dressing in the dark we sped away.Running late we rushed in to our neighbor's to get the children,We thought it odd the Lady kept laughing and asking if we had a REALLY GOOD TIME !!
Thanking her we left still wondering about her laughing.After tucking the children in we began undressing in our room.We both spotted the reason for the odd laughter,Breaking up laughing we noticed that in my wife's hurry to get dressed in the dark that she had put on her jean's INSIDE OUT The inside pockets hanging down looked like Dog ear's.