When did you first realize you were submissive or dominant? (No underage content!)

k84guy here. I first became aware of my nature when I was around 20 years old. I had an absolutely fantastic girlfriend at the time. She was far from submissive in ordinary life but when kissing or making out she was very submissive. I didn't realize it at the time until one date night. She'd had a really bad day due to an absolute horrible college instructor. She'd been complaining about him for hours. That was very atypical for her but something about that day just had her frustrated. She'd been going on and on for hours when I decided I'd had enough. I grabbed her and threw her over my knee and started spanking her. She was crying in seconds. When I stopped spanking her she was in my arms apologizing for her behaviour and begging my forgiveness. She'd have given me anything right then. As we talked about what had happened I think we both became aware of a difference in the way we reacted towards each other. It was years later before I realized that we had a D/s relationship we just didn't know it.

When I was really little my neighbors and I would play in the woods near my house. Our games always involved "saving the princess," I always volunteered to be the princess because it involved being tied to a tree.

[material prohibited per our forum guidelines]

I'm almost 50 now and love submitting to my wife still.

Dollie

As far back as I can remember my older brothers, then the younger ones, were mean to me. We lived on an old farm and walked a long way to a Minnesota one room school house. I was forced to do non-sexual yet degrading things. I was shot with a BB gun, beaten, and branded. Mom knew everything. Dad didn't want to know.

Mom traded sex for eggs, chickens, and other farm things. My sister did then married a sex crazy farmer who shared her with others so he could have their wives or daughters. Like in my husband's stories, our lives were like a live porn show. Yes, I knew about those too. My almost boyfriend owned the only legal adult theater in our county. He was older. I was going to date him. I always forgave too many too easy.

But back to the early days. One time a brother held me down on the chicken killing stump while the other cut my pigtails off with an axe.

There was never any sex involved but it was my early life that caused me to let my boyfriend who became my husband, use me in almost anyway he wanted. Now I was 18 and became his sex toy. He had sex with me so often and so rough I'd bring girlfriends home and beg him to fuck them so I'd get some rest. I'd seen other penis' but his was the largest other than my sister's husband's. Way too long for a girl of my size at that time. That's why it was so easy to get other women to let him fuck them while I watched.

Mostly my husband has been the dominant. Yet I had my moments and he loved being bossed around.
This continued all through my life until he let his friends also use me as a sex toy. Somehow, and with things from my past, I resisted letting other men have intercourse. Many did everything else yet I was never really harmed except for those with too large penis and much breast play at times.
Yet the love and attention I received made me look forward to being a plaything for sex which has continued to this day.

Littleboe01 said:

When I was really little my neighbors and I would play in the woods near my house. Our games always involved "saving the princess," I always volunteered to be the princess because it involved being tied to a tree.

Click to expand...

LOL. That was me. I loved it when my brotherz and their friends used me as the prisonef to be rescued.

sterculius said:

As young adults, my best friend and I would jerk off together but we quickly escalated to mutual masturbation and then taking turns sucking each others cock. We had agreed beforehand to NOT cum in each others mouth, but to warn the one sucking when we got close to orgasm and finish off by hand as before. This worked out well at first until the time he chose not to warn me and just flooded my mouth with warm, acrid semen. I was surprised and shocked at what he had done but I instantly realized that I LOVED that he had cum in my mouth!! And especially that he did it IN SPITE of having promised not to! It made me feel so "USED". And I liked feeling used. I felt like a slut. He apologized but next time he did it again. I admitted that I liked it and soon after he stopped reciprocating. I continued blowing him on a regular basis and became his personal cocksucker

Click to expand...

Awesome story I love it

I learnt about it on literotica.

Actually, I got to know about my submissive traits on literotica,especially the D/s story tags. I have not really met a potential mistress,but I know I will soon get one.lols.

*professorx* said:

realized it by accident actually in my first year of college
all these petite lil gymnasts wanted to be controlled and power fucked
something about sweaty bodies
and because of their flexibility they wanted to be tied up

Click to expand...

Oh, yes, indeed. I must say that I've noticed the very same thing. Disney-cute they are, the little perky, cheerful, playful little nymphs, cavorting about, no doubt for the singular purpose of teasing us all. They need a good tickling, you know. (A good tickling, a thorough tickling, and a bit of a tease, as well, I should think. Yesss, a good, long, slow, gentle, patient tease...perhaps a little brushing up on the finer points with a delicate little rigger's brush - just the thing to itch their little buttons, you know - alternated with a proper tongue-lashing, not too harsh, not hurried, mind you, but a proper, skillful tongue-lashing, given with the love that lasts for hours).

Of course, the only way to get them to sit still and pay attention is to tie them down with cuffs and ropes and naughty little knots and such. Then you can work the little brats over from head to ticklish little toes. It's quite fun, actually. Could do it for hours and hours and hours.

Realisation of chores & Acceptance of such

I think that for me the realisation and acceptance of, are two very different things and I am still somewhat struggling with the acceptance of part of this equation.

If I were honest, I'd have to admit a sort of duality within my psyche; both an attraction for certain 'chores' and perhaps a revulsion towards the self for that very attraction. Perhaps this reflects the dichotomy of the social restraints which confine and dictate what one 'should be' and the sneaking, underlying acknowledgement that what 'should be' and what 'is' are two, very different things.

My earliest memories would include walking behind the local chippy to find the pages of the Sun that were deemed unsuitable to wrap the fish & chips in. Something about ones food being wrapped in images of the daily model being unacceptable in society provided the first inclinations of awareness to me of this secret world where things were often completely opposite to what they appeared to be. This world seemed exciting and alive, yet dangerous and hidden. It was around that time that we were all warned about a predator that was going around in the woods. And even at that young age, my thoughts were 'off' since I figured , that at least he might pay attention and provide a little entertainment (bizarre thoughts) to contrast with the constant crap that was going on inside our house.

My parents were both alcoholics with extreme control issues and the battleground for these power struggles was us children and in particular, myself. It was always a case of 'please one, piss-off the other' which brought about its own set of struggles and adaptations. My mother was a puritan, essentially ashamed of anything to do with sex or sexuality and my earliest memories are of her dressing in the living room, crouched down in shame trying to cover and hide herself. I remember thinking that this was odd.

I also remember the many arguments that my parents had; the yelling and screaming, doors banging, Dad leaving; always about sex, how much, how often, what, etc. It seemed that there were two types of women (this would be coming from Mum...only 2)...those who did and those who didn't. Those that did painted their nails and faces, dressed up and wore different styles than those who didn't. They enjoyed independence, a bank account, and the right to stand up tall and look other people in the eyes. But these were also somehow 'unfit' to marry, good for the time being but definitely not good enough to stay with for any length of time. The ones who were marriage material were the ones who went to church, dressed in dowdy clothes, kept their eyes down and simply did not. It didn't even occur to me that this might be wrong until I was much older. And by that time I had established my outward personality as being one to have absolute zero tolerance for bullshit of any kind. I was both lost and confident, determined and insecure, extremely independent and yet terrified of abandonment; my outer worlds and inner worlds being as diametrically opposed as any could be so it's no wonder that as soon as folks got 'close' to me, I'd push them away and run for the hills. Of course, it has taken me a long time to realise this and an even longer time to get to the point where I am willing to even consider bringing the two worlds just that little bit closer. That requires trust which is a very rare, and precious commodity.

I remember growing up that I enjoyed the chase far, far more than I ever did the 'conquest'. With boys in my own age group, I remember enjoying teasing and such, but the minute any of them actually asked me out, I quickly lost interest. I would sometimes agree to a date, but the thought of holding hands with their sweaty palms would just gross me out and so I spent a good few evenings hiding in the bathroom or escaping out the back window to go home and make up excuses because, of course, I could never be direct and just say what it was I felt even if I could figure out what it was I was feeling in the first place.

I've had to take a long, long hiatus from relationships period in order to sort of sit with myself and figure out exactly what it is that I'm attracted to, why, and if it's something that's healthy or something that I should just steer far, far away from. So, to answer your question .. I think the 'first' realisations came when taking time to look backwards and identify them. I mean, there were indications there all along, I just didn't pay any attention to them and so spent a very long time just trying to fit in with what essentially is a very weird concept of what is 'normal' and what one 'should' be like.

I learned at a really young age that I had the desire to please others.

I have always known I was a dom. I love being in control and having that power to make a sub kneel at my command.

Dollie

ElvishKitty said:

I learned at a really young age that I had the desire to please others.

Click to expand...

Just checkng back in on this thread. Like you, I didn't know submissive from anal intercourse or much of anything else. My young husband worked with older men at a factory. The older men and women there felt it was their job to tell him about sex acts we'd never heard of and wait for his results.
Of course I'd be talked into trying most anything to prove my love.
It was many years later on these adult sites that I realized I am very submissive and try to please.
I have played the dominant but being submissive give me excuses to blame others for what I do.

I have always be in control. I always knew what I wanted and the girls I dated were usually submissive. They wanted me to take control. Then I dated one girl who was far more aggressive and naughty. One night after drinking, she turned totally domme. She undressed me, told me what to do and I did it. And I loved it. Our relationship turned that way while it lasted. While I still like being in control, the idea of an aggressive, dominant woman is incredibly hot.

Submissive

I first learnt I was submissive I guess when reading erotic stories and stuff.
Then to confirm it an ex b/f got a bit rough and well held me down as we did it and he thought I enjoyed it and later we discussed playing out some fantasies and I let him tie me up. I was so horny even before he touched me and he said you lil slut look how excited you are and from then on it became regular.
If I am out alone with girlfriends sometimes I wear a thin ankle bracelet that looks like a cuff, to let guys know.

I always knew I was an Alpha once I had reached my teens, back then the internet was just beginning to start to get into the homes of the average person

Just two days ago. My boyfriend is here over the weekend and pretty much tied me up, choked me and did pretty much everything to me. No complaints though. He cooked, cleaned and really took care of me. Just this morning he used cable ties on me with my hands on my back and had sex with him in doggy style position while his hand was around my neck choking me. It was eye opening on how unusually calm I was about everything. Maybe I was meant to be a sub all along. I've always been the dominant one on every relationship I was previously on only to be disappointed. This one was different. I feel great. I feel loved.

Although lusting after women has always been, and still is my default sexual orientation. My initial sexual partner, aside from my right hand, was my best friend Larry. When we were younger, we began experimenting with each other. We started out first masturbating ourselves, then each other, but by the time we progressed to taking turns exchanging blowjobs. I realized I would much rather suck his cock than to get a blowjob from him and since he felt the same way, it wasn't long before I agreed to become his eager, personal cocksucker with absolutely no reciprocation expected from him. While we still remained the best of friends in other regards, he enjoyed asserting his sexual dominance over me by holding my head and forcing his abnormally large cock completely down my throat, and I enjoyed letting him do it! I would frequently cum as he did this because I liked the feeling of subjugation and objectification this afforded me. I also liked letting him humiliate and denigrate me because I was his cocksucker. He would threaten to tell our other friends I was his cocksucker and I would have to blow them too. He never did tell them, but I used to jerk off imagining he had.

An Object Lesson In Cock-Sucking

sterculius said:

Although lusting after women has always been, and still is my default sexual orientation. My initial sexual partner, aside from my right hand, was my best friend Larry. When we were younger, we began experimenting with each other. We started out first masturbating ourselves, then each other, but by the time we progressed to taking turns exchanging blowjobs. I realized I would much rather suck his cock than to get a blowjob from him and since he felt the same way, it wasn't long before I agreed to become his eager, personal cocksucker with absolutely no reciprocation expected from him. While we still remained the best of friends in other regards, he enjoyed asserting his sexual dominance over me by holding my head and forcing his abnormally large cock completely down my throat, and I enjoyed letting him do it! I would frequently cum as he did this because I liked the feeling of subjugation and objectification this afforded me. I also liked letting him humiliate and denigrate me because I was his cocksucker. He would threaten to tell our other friends I was his cocksucker and I would have to blow them too. He never did tell them, but I used to jerk off imagining he had.

Click to expand...

I look up to and respect Sterculius as an example to us all. This is what a real submissive cock-sucker should be. We can all learn and be inspired by his selfless dedication to pleasuring that big dominant cock, and try a little harder to emulate his example in our own endeavors

tristantrotsky said:

I look up to and respect Sterculius as an example to us all. This is what a real submissive cock-sucker should be. We can all learn and be inspired by his selfless dedication to pleasuring that big dominant cock, and try a little harder to emulate his example in our own endeavors

Click to expand...

AW shucks.... (blushing), Thank you..

I was in my mid-20s when I realized I preferred bottom to top

https://www.literotica.com/s/michael-15

Looking back at 2 playground incidents I can pinpoint my beginnings. I even had my BFF comment on the second one "You're really good at playing this. You make me believe you aren't acting." Her comment sticks in my head to this day. Little did she know that I couldn't admit just how much I liked it.
I was always more knowledgeable about sex than my peers because I would sneak my mom's "corset ripper" books. However, I never could find anything stronger to satisfy my curiosity until I was in my early 20s when I discovered a small popular monthly magazine to which I eventually subscribed. That opened my world and I discovered the letters people sent in were more fun to read than some of the articles. I couldn't believe people did that IRL.
Many years later, I am emotionally secure knowing I am in a submissive role and no longer have to "play" the part.

Although I haven't had the opportunity to actually be a submissive for a dom I fantasize about it constantly. I always had to ask for sex and always initiate sex so when I started reading more sub stories I just craved it more and more. One day

It happened for me around age 30. I was under the influence of religion until my late 20's and when I walked away from that, I looked for something to fill the void. I got my first laptop computer and stumbled upon Literotica. The realization that I was submissive came quickly after.

When I realised I was submissive.

I was with a b/f and he asked if we could try something new, I said ok what?

He asked if he could tie me up and play, I thought ok if that gets him going I will try.

He bought some cuffs and rope and tied me to the bed and teased and played with me and to my surprise, it absolutely drove me wild. I love it and it went from there.