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I'm going to a shrink & I need advice

I know you are all correct, but understanding that fact that this is a long journey that takes time and putting that knowledge into practice are two entirely different things. The analogy's and metaphors are helpful. Thank you.

The mind blowing event? I was the "guest of honor" at a surprise party at his "old" house, which he won't/hasn't sold. I served, and was abused by six people, five of whom were strangers.

The fact that I am Sir's prize possession and not one he likes to share, means he put aside his very strong feelings to give me something I've wanted for a while now. I totally did not see it coming and it is an unbelievable sign of his love and devotion. He really wants me to get to an emotionally healthy place.
 
Good! Unfortunately, supportive metaphors are all most of us can offer via cyberspace. ;)

As far as the mind-blowing event. :eek:

Good for both of you- I freely admit I would have a really, really hard time with something like that. Since it isn't on my wife's bucket list- no worries here. :D I will agree with your interpretation- he loves you very much.
 
Okay. I'm just going to say it. Each time I see your thread this is what I read. "I'm going to shrink and need advice."

:D

:rose:
 
zathras52003 said:
Good! Unfortunately, supportive metaphors are all most of us can offer via cyberspace. ;)

As far as the mind-blowing event. :eek:

Good for both of you- I freely admit I would have a really, really hard time with something like that. Since it isn't on my wife's bucket list- no worries here. :D I will agree with your interpretation- he loves you very much.
Click to expand...

I was thinking about what I wrote later and I realized that a normal person would consider that a seriously messed up form of affirmation. I have accepted that I am a long way from normal, in anyone's book. The shrink was pretty much speechless and all I would tell her was what I said above. For a minute I thought she was going to throw me out of her office, but being the professional she is she kept calm and carried on.
 
I was thinking of a "Honey I shrunk my Honey" (rather than the kids) situation. Happily you are on the road of tiny baby steps making progress or an enlargement spell. :)

Kim_Burly said:
If you had been paying attention, that's the problem, I shrank too much ;).
Click to expand...
 
Kim_Burly said:
I was thinking about what I wrote later and I realized that a normal person would consider that a seriously messed up form of affirmation. I have accepted that I am a long way from normal, in anyone's book. The shrink was pretty much speechless and all I would tell her was what I said above. For a minute I thought she was going to throw me out of her office, but being the professional she is she kept calm and carried on.
Click to expand...

Well, as a switch, having 6 strange women have their way with me has a certain appeal. I can dig it. :D
 
Kitty92 said:
It's been some time since before your first session.
How have you fared thus far...? :rose:
Click to expand...

It has been slow going and very tough, but I am seeing results. I have clarity now that I have never had. Sir and I are very pleased with the results, but I still dread Wednesdays.
 
Kim_Burly said:
It has been slow going and very tough, but I am seeing results. I have clarity now that I have never had. Sir and I are very pleased with the results, but I still dread Wednesdays.
Click to expand...

Sorry about the dread, but glad to see you're having results. If you're seeing results, I suspect the work is intense and I presume that's what you dread. If that's the case, it may not make it easier, but maybe it'll make it a little less dreadful if you can view it as intense work that is leading to results that please you and Sir. Best wishes for continued success.
 
khlarrissa said:
Sorry about the dread, but glad to see you're having results. If you're seeing results, I suspect the work is intense and I presume that's what you dread. If that's the case, it may not make it easier, but maybe it'll make it a little less dreadful if you can view it as intense work that is leading to results that please you and Sir. Best wishes for continued success.
Click to expand...

No pain, no gain, right. I'm sure many athletes here will disagree, but I feel if you are training to lift more weight, run faster or whatever, if you are not sore the day after a workout you didn't push yourself hard enough. That is the attitude I am trying to maintain this mental torture euphemistically called "therapy". I would much rather have sore muscles than spent emotions.
 
zathras52003 said:
I was agreeing on the scenario, not making any assumptions on gender mix. ;)
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No problem, in several ways the mix was necessary. The event was so intense and profound for me that I would like to write a story about it. I will ask Sir if I can, when the time is right.
 
Therapy is like most other relationships, you get out of it what you put into it, and not every person is going to be a good fit for you.

I have seen a lot of therapists that were good fits for certain elements of what I needed, but not others. I'm lucky that my current therapist is an excellent fit for me, but it's still work. That said, if you enjoy your work, it goes a lot smoother.

Therapy can be a great place to have some time that is specifically about you, and the issue that you face. It's an opportunity to work on yourself and become a better person.

If you go into the door with the mindset that you hate therapy, you're not really going to get very far with it, and it's probably a waste of money.
 
richard_daily said:
Therapy is like most other relationships, you get out of it what you put into it, and not every person is going to be a good fit for you.

I have seen a lot of therapists that were good fits for certain elements of what I needed, but not others. I'm lucky that my current therapist is an excellent fit for me, but it's still work. That said, if you enjoy your work, it goes a lot smoother.

Therapy can be a great place to have some time that is specifically about you, and the issue that you face. It's an opportunity to work on yourself and become a better person.

If you go into the door with the mindset that you hate therapy, you're not really going to get very far with it, and it's probably a waste of money.
Click to expand...

I don't go to her to exchange pleasantries and be friends. I may not like it, but it is working so I will stick with her.
 
richard_daily said:
Therapy is like most other relationships, you get out of it what you put into it, and not every person is going to be a good fit for you.

I have seen a lot of therapists that were good fits for certain elements of what I needed, but not others. I'm lucky that my current therapist is an excellent fit for me, but it's still work. That said, if you enjoy your work, it goes a lot smoother.

Therapy can be a great place to have some time that is specifically about you, and the issue that you face. It's an opportunity to work on yourself and become a better person.

If you go into the door with the mindset that you hate therapy, you're not really going to get very far with it, and it's probably a waste of money.
Click to expand...

I don't mean to be picking at nits here, but I get the sense that you barely skimmed the thread before offering up your two cents. I hope it was on discount.
 
Kim_Burly said:
I don't go to her to exchange pleasantries and be friends. I may not like it, but it is working so I will stick with her.
Click to expand...

I don't think the comment was about peasantries. I read it as finding a therapist you can work well with.
Seems like that's what you have done?
 
On a side note...

I'm currently attending group counselling for long term disability. It's CBT-based. I feel I'm getting a lot out of it.

Earlier this year, I attended a resident Pain Management course which focussed on mindfulness techniques. I can say I don't think I got much out of that (try as I might, I don't 'get' mindfulness...yet?), apart from the group element.

It's very powerful to be going through something, and other people saying they're experiencing the same feelings, urges, doubts and fear. Although some stories are harrowing, in some way, it's reassuring when you discover that it's not so abnormal to be feeling like you do.

It's also been mentioned that group sessions have been proven more effective than individual, due to the support of those around you. Have you an option of attending any group sessions in your area?

Good luck, btw.
 
Kim_Burly said:
No problem, in several ways the mix was necessary. The event was so intense and profound for me that I would like to write a story about it. I will ask Sir if I can, when the time is right.
Click to expand...

I think I can speak for many of us- if permitted, that story sounds very much worth the wait. Both for the erotic part, and for the fact that you found is so fulfilling. You have found the win-win-win scenario (if approved).
 
redzinger said:
.....
I'm currently attending group counselling for long term disability. It's CBT-based. I feel I'm getting a lot out of it.
.....
Click to expand...

Ouch!
:eek:
Or have I been too long at lit, and is it an abbreviation for something else?
 
My beloved has needed professional help from childhood abuse and anxiety. I did ask that he share as much as he felt comfortable. He shared it all and the counselor was very open minded. Being open to someone has made all the difference for him.

My advice is...to share what you're willing and to truly get better. I wish you the absolute best during your journey!
 
Kim_Burly said:
It has been slow going and very tough, but I am seeing results. I have clarity now that I have never had. Sir and I are very pleased with the results, but I still dread Wednesdays.
Click to expand...

Please keep us updated? I'm sorry you're feeling the dread now. Hopefully, it will ease with every appointment.
 
SovereignShe said:
Please keep us updated? I'm sorry you're feeling the dread now. Hopefully, it will ease with every appointment.
Click to expand...

Let me back up here a bit. I can see and feel measurable, tangible progress from the therapy. So what does it matter if it is unpleasant? It's working!
 
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