Do Kink and promiscuity always go hand in hand?

For me they don't...but I'm increasingly starting to realize I may be in the severe minority on this.

How is it for everyone else?

Or if this is a dumb question just ignore. I'm sleep deprived and posting in the middle of the night. Lol

JaneRamsey said:

For me they don't...but I'm increasingly starting to realize I may be in the severe minority on this.

How is it for everyone else?

Or if this is a dumb question just ignore. I'm sleep deprived and posting in the middle of the night. Lol

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No.

I know what I want and I'm extremely ridiculously, over the top picky in real life. I rarely meet anyone, that ticks all the boxes unless they live on the other side of the country or, worse still, in another country altogether. Ergo my "number" is low.
I'm not all that fond of the word promiscuous but it's late I can't think if a word that conveys the meaning without sounding as judgmental. Maybe I'm just reading too much into it.

JaneRamsey said:

For me they don't...but I'm increasingly starting to realize I may be in the severe minority on this.

How is it for everyone else?

Or if this is a dumb question just ignore. I'm sleep deprived and posting in the middle of the night. Lol

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No, two separate lifestyles and how you live your life.

What counts as "promiscuity"?

curious_slut said:

I know what I want and I'm extremely ridiculously, over the top picky in real life. I rarely meet anyone, that ticks all the boxes unless they live on the other side of the country or, worse still, in another country altogether. Ergo my "number" is low.
I'm not all that fond of the word promiscuous but it's late I can't think if a word that conveys the meaning without sounding as judgmental. Maybe I'm just reading too much into it.

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I'm with you. I've been told I'm too picky. Maybe. But no sense kissing toads IMO.

JaneRamsey said:

For me they don't...but I'm increasingly starting to realize I may be in the severe minority on this.

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By stating that, in your case, they don't go hand in hand, you answered your own question whether they always go hand in hand.

Seriously. I’m not doing this with you unless I think you’re pretty special.

Promiscuity, at some point, becomes its own kink.

JaneRamsey said:

For me they don't...but I'm increasingly starting to realize I may be in the severe minority on this.

How is it for everyone else?

Or if this is a dumb question just ignore. I'm sleep deprived and posting in the middle of the night. Lol

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You not in a minority .Kinky and Promiscuous are two different unconnected issues.

JaneRamsey said:

For me they don't...but I'm increasingly starting to realize I may be in the severe minority on this.

How is it for everyone else?

Or if this is a dumb question just ignore. I'm sleep deprived and posting in the middle of the night. Lol

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no, i felt same as you and still do some times... but evidence is to the opposite

No...not at all.
My wife and I do some kinky stuff, and are completely monogamous. No desire to stay outside our marriage.

Bramblethorn said:

What counts as "promiscuity"?

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This.

It depends on the kink. I am promiscuous (online) even if none of my kinks are involved but I'm also kinky even when I'm not promiscuous.

I guess I don't really have a definition for promiscuity that I'm thinking of. A better phrase is 'prone to casual and short term hookups/relationships.'

But I'm glad I'm not alone!

(Disclaimer-this post was not meant to be judgy in any way I was just curious.)

I'd say "no" to. You can be full on freaky kinky and in a monogamous relationship. Promiscuity is it's own form of kink, when the variety and frequency of different partners is the whole turn on.

Despite what might be implied by several of my long-winded rambles, I've pretty well defined promiscuity as a separate indulgence from BDSM kinks.

Err... except when we didn't. But, it was really more of "crossing the streams" Ghostbuster style.


In my own checkered past... Well, let's just say that co-dependency with a dual clinical diagnosis of sexual addiction can make actually pretty strange bedfellows with someone who has no submissiveness in their nature. Typically, though... despite what I may have implied (as well as... *cough*... a few outlying experiences), I was much more... serially monogamist, I suppose.

Where I think it's not at all unusual for some bleed over to happen is when a need of some sort is not being met. And where it can get confusing is in the event of one partner being fetished while the other does not share that fetish.


I can recall one particular... I actually almost hesitate to use the term "lover," since in retrospect what we shared was actually very little about "love" and primarily about using each other to get our needs met. And not well in her case.


While I have been forced to admit some Dominant tendencies, degradation and humiliation are a hard limit for me.


Want me to tie you up? Ok, I can do that.


Want me to get out the 8' bullwhip or the 15" flogger? Ok, I can do that.


Want me to get out the flechettes and some blades? Well, I used to be willing to do that until my Essential Tremors complications from my Parkinson's got too bad. Not so much anymore. But, back then, if that was something she needed/wanted...


However, she wanted me to spit in her face or on her, wanted me to call her degrading names and say truly horrible things about her. Which were not true or I wouldn't have been willing to go as far with her as I did.


So, she had to look outside of our "relationship" for someone willing to do that.


Was it really promiscuity? Or was it looking elsewhere to have a need met?


As many have posted already, it rather depends on the definition you ascribe to promiscuity.


For myself, I tend to think "promiscuous" means more indiscriminate or unselective in obtaining sexual partners, more than having several, even at the same time. So, to that end, I don't think of myself as having been promiscuous... er... well, except for that one time...


Any road, no. I don't think that promiscuity and BDSM fetishism necessarily fit delicate trembling hand in harsh leather glove. Nor do I think they are necessarily mutually exclusive. Instead, I think they are separate entities which just may occasionally come to roost in the same persona.

JaneRamsey said:

I guess I don't really have a definition for promiscuity that I'm thinking of. A better phrase is 'prone to casual and short term hookups/relationships.'

But I'm glad I'm not alone!

(Disclaimer-this post was not meant to be judgy in any way I was just curious.)

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I know, but I also know what Bramble was pointing out, and it’s a good thing.
Great question.
I will answer it when I’m not at my MOM’s!!!

Farawyn said:

I know, but I also know what Bramble was pointing out, and it’s a good thing.
Great question.
I will answer it when I’m not at my MOM’s!!!

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You know... there is actually some research that seems to indicate that certain proclivities might be hereditary...

I'm just sayin'.

PuckIt said:

You know... there is actually some research that seems to indicate that certain proclivities might be hereditary...

I'm just sayin'.

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Hey, now.
My little mommy will kick your butt, bub.
My money is always on her.

PuckIt said:

You know... there is actually some research that seems to indicate that certain proclivities might be hereditary...

I'm just sayin'.

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Certain proclivities are absolutely hereditary. ....i could go on about the fun genetics research related to that but that's for another time.

JaneRamsey said:

Certain proclivities are absolutely hereditary. ....i could go on about the fun genetics research related to that but that's for another time.

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Right?

I don't know. But, to me, it's always been a bit funny when people assume their parents and grandparents couldn't possibly like what they like.


Not, of course, my own parents. I'm adopted. So, there is no proof they ever did anything at all!

(Except for that one discussion with Mom when she went off on a rant about her second soon-to-be-ex-husband I discussed in the Oral Servitude thread. For some things, there is not enough mental floss in the world. *shudder* )

PuckIt said:

Right?

I don't know. But, to me, it's always been a bit funny when people assume their parents and grandparents couldn't possibly like what they like.


Not, of course, my own parents. I'm adopted. So, there is no proof they ever did anything at all!

(Except for that one discussion with Mom when she went off on a rant about her second soon-to-be-ex-husband I discussed in the Oral Servitude thread. For some things, there is not enough mental floss in the world. *shudder* )

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Yea, i think people might be a little frightened to realize how much about them is related to hereditary genes....muahaha!

I refuse to think about the kinks of anyone who gave me genes lol

formertroll said:

I refuse to think about the kinks of anyone who gave me genes lol

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What? Your father in a garter belt and push up bra won't scan?