PM asshattery

I received this little gem from a noobie

asshat said:
just joined lit and have fallen straight into my mother daisy's lap.

how can i forget the smell of my lovely daisy mom womb. Hmmm

I worshiped it then, i worship it now and will always.

How are the things at your end ? hope all's well and i hope you would guide me about literotica as i am new to it.

I always adored older woman and all i want to be is a decent motherfucker.

hmmmm confused about how to go about it lady? HELP HELP

Wtf, the smell of her womb!!
 
I only wish we could post the actual pm's here without breaking the rules. I woke up early this morning and decided to check my pm's here. Background - I started a thread in the personals section for folks to talk about their pets. Back to the ridiculous pm I read first thing this morning from some dim wit. He begins by telling me he has a large dog that stays inside. He proceeds to tell me that one day recently he came home from work and rather than go in the front door as per usual he decided to go in the back door. Our hero in the story then tells me he hears moaning and thinks perhaps that his wife is with another man. No. Worse. Much worse. Mr wonderful then goes into much too graphic detail about standing there for over 10 minutes and watching his dog pleasure his wife. What did I do wrong?????? What part of ANY post that I have ever written would give any IDIOT any idea that I would want to read anything like that. Even for fantasy land that crosses a line that should require his laptop to be inserted into an orifice ill suited for that purpose. Geeez.

Hey look on the bright side...I found a new place to pimp my puppies (that are adorable, ofcourse). :D
 
part 2

asshat said:
they may think of me as sick and i am scared of it.

do i tell them directly in ad that i want to be a thorough mother fucker certified by one.

can you help me write a simple and effective ad as you know the psyche of mothers .

it would be the biggest favor .
i am on my knees , i need a mom desperately. please


Our friend wishes to be a certified motherfucker!
 
Our friend wishes to be a certified motherfucker!

I know in my state, mother fucker certification is a pain in the arse. You've got your mother fucking board exams. Your mother fucking licensing fees. Your mother fucking continuing education. Then you have to renew that mother fucking license every two years and it's a pain in the arse, both mine and my mother's.

Between the mother fucking conferences/best practices and licensure issues, it's hardly worth it. Being a certified sister fucker is much easier. Kind of like the difference between being a doctor and a PA.

Pmann, CMF
Certified Mother Fucker
Mother Fucking Consultants
 
I know in my state, mother fucker certification is a pain in the arse. You've got your mother fucking board exams. Your mother fucking licensing fees. Your mother fucking continuing education. Then you have to renew that mother fucking license every two years and it's a pain in the arse, both mine and my mother's.

Between the mother fucking conferences/best practices and licensure issues, it's hardly worth it. Being a certified sister fucker is much easier. Kind of like the difference between being a doctor and a PA.

Pmann, CMF
Certified Mother Fucker
Mother Fucking Consultants

Not to mention you must get a separate mother fucking license for each mother fucking state.
 
I've been thinking for a while whether I should share that PM or not, because I created a thread in which I asked for role play partners, so I should not complain. But that PM is just, well, disturbing. At least for me. Please note that my profile pic is a pic of my ear.



guywhoovershotthemark said:
i'd love to roleplay with you.....

love your profile pic.....i'd love to drain my very full balls into your ear.....and fill it up with my warm thick sperm.....and give you an ear infucktion. :D

lust,
guywhoovershotthemark :kiss:


I could not believe it. I never even knew that kind of fetish existed.
 
Proof that asshats are everywhere and not just on Lit....

....in front of me at the drivethrough liquor store:

435fe67e-6eb7-44a0-97b3-5c0d0d4b9918_zpsbf97c93e.jpg
 
I've been thinking for a while whether I should share that PM or not, because I created a thread in which I asked for role play partners, so I should not complain. But that PM is just, well, disturbing. At least for me. Please note that my profile pic is a pic of my ear.






I could not believe it. I never even knew that kind of fetish existed.

You have a very sexy ear! The things I'd like to do to your ear...
 
I know in my state, mother fucker certification is a pain in the arse. You've got your mother fucking board exams. Your mother fucking licensing fees. Your mother fucking continuing education. Then you have to renew that mother fucking license every two years and it's a pain in the arse, both mine and my mother's.

Between the mother fucking conferences/best practices and licensure issues, it's hardly worth it. Being a certified sister fucker is much easier. Kind of like the difference between being a doctor and a PA.

Pmann, CMF
Certified Mother Fucker
Mother Fucking Consultants

damnit.. this is the renewal year.. (I bet we could get somebody to post something worth CEUs on the GB)
 
Wait a minute... the drive-through liquor store? Can you buy a gun there while you're at it? :rolleyes:

Lol...I live in BFE, but I don't think you can get a gun there...

....and believe me, there is always a line for the drivethrough! :)
 
Lol...I live in BFE, but I don't think you can get a gun there...

....and believe me, there is always a line for the drivethrough! :)

Well, you picked a fine specimen of asshattery to showcase.

(And don't tell me: BFE = Bum Fuck Egypt?) ;)
 
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