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Old 07-25-2013, 10:41 PM   #23276
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Yeah, but she could drop in on the weekends and I am sure she has some interest in the competition. After all, she did win the thing last year.

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Old 07-25-2013, 10:42 PM   #23277
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Yeah, but she could drop in on the weekends and I am sure she has some interest in the competition. After all, she did win the thing last year.

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Sounds like homelife is interrupting her Lit life. Been there myself.
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Old 07-25-2013, 10:48 PM   #23278
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Perhaps true. My homelife is virtually non-existent or lousy, so it rarely causes interruptions.

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Old 07-27-2013, 05:32 PM   #23279
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Thinking of you Red
 

Old 07-29-2013, 07:40 PM   #23280
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Thinking of you Red
Me too!
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Old 08-20-2013, 10:34 PM   #23281
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No posts for all of August? Not good. I hope RED is okay.

The gentleman on your left is my father. Here is more about him. Sorry for hogging a space, I just thought some might be interested.

KEN CANAVAN

December 22 1933 - August 17 2013

It has now been 24 hours since I got the phone call from St. Mary's Hospital. I ran all the way there at this time of night, racing through the parking lot and hoping he would be alright. I live across the street, essentially, and so I was the first one called. I fought with my family about this, as they thought it should be my sister. I stood my ground. She is at least 15 minutes away - by car - and would have to get my mom and get her dressed and ready and such. Mom being 77, it is slow. My mom doesn't drive.

My family acted as they often do, but I won out - sort of. The call came to me, thank God it did. My sister was asleep when I called her, before leaving. I then called my Mom, who was up. She and my brother, in town to visit with dad, got in touch with my sister and they came. I was already there. I already had the news - my dad was gone. I was panting and soaked and they were worried I would faint. I thought I was fine, but I wasn't - not entirely. Nonetheless, when everyone showed up, I had to tell them. We all broke down and then we went to see him. It's so easy to see when the light has gone out. He wasn't there, not anymore.

We didn't think at all that this might be "it" when he went into the hospital two weeks ago. He'd had a fall, he had them before. His dementia, while not absent, wasn't a major problem. He wouldn't eat, but he was alert and they'd had him walking. I had seen him briefly that afternoon, although he said it had not been a good night. His pain was the worst, but under control. The plan was to move him to Freeport in a few weeks, let his broken clavicle heal and then begin physio. He wasn't going home, that he did not know. So perhaps this is for the best, but losing my father hurts like hell. How can this be for the best?

Life was not fair to my dad. He was brought up to believe if you worked hard and were loyal, you got the rewards. Not so for him. He got screwed over a few times. I don't think he ever understood it or got over it, not entirely. Some friends vanished, some outright stabbed him in the back. It was vile and reprehensible. Part of it was he was slow to adjust to modern times. But he worked hard and did his job and was ill-treated by a company he served for 15 years. A company who put so much stress on him that he had not one, but TWO, heart attacks.

In his life, he had 4 in total. We are still uncertain if he had a 5th and final one yesterday.

His family situation deteriorated as well. He and my mother had issues and split for a time, only to reunite - sort of. My mother can be hard and bitter, my dad showed his frailty and she didn't like it. They stayed married but a lot of it was name only. More on her part than his. He was fiercely loyal and whenever she needed something, she got it. I think a lot of her coldness mystified him as much as the betrayal of his friends. But yes, he could be demanding and needy and push her buttons. When they split, I lived with him for 2 years. My beloved Nana spoiled him a bit too much and he never understood that others weren't going to. I also don't think he ever got over the family situation with his sister. Basically, after 52 years of life on this earth, when my Nana passed, he found out his sister was - NOT - his sister. He was astonished to find out how many knew this secret and had been told to keep it from him. He was hurt, angry and bitter and lashed out. I loved my Nana dearly but it is the ONLY thing in this life that I am angry at her about. Why did she never tell him that his much-older sister was his cousin and that they had taken her in? Even years after, when I asked my aunt (I reconciled with her a bit) she couldn't answer.

My dad had few friends, he and I are alike in that. Some have passed, my Uncle Alan just before Christmas. His friends were my parents' friends, mostly. His work friends weren't loyal, for the most part.

He and I were not close for most of my life and only got so in more recent years. We started doing things together, like having coffee at least once a week. Usually at McD's, a coffee and a muffin for $1.50 - plus a refill - he thought that was great. It usually was too. I will miss those coffees more than I can ever say.

I don't think the rest of my family ever got him and I don't think he knew how to be "got". He had trouble expressing himself. I hope that wherever he is now, he's with his dad and my Nana and his sister. I hope there is peace. I hope he will say hello to some of my much-missed friends. I will close this entry now as I am tearing up and I could go on for days.

I miss my father. It has been just a few days without him and they've been agony.

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Old 08-21-2013, 07:24 PM   #23282
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You have my condolences Brett
 

Old 08-21-2013, 08:16 PM   #23283
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Thanks very much.

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Old 08-21-2013, 10:55 PM   #23284
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Sorry Brett
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Old 08-22-2013, 12:28 AM   #23285
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Thanks RJ and it keeps on getting worse. Just ended a 25-year+ relationship because the person was being an unsupportive ass.

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Old 08-22-2013, 12:30 AM   #23286
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Thanks RJ and it keeps on getting worse. Just ended a 25-year+ relationship because the person was being an unsupportive ass.

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Well, that happens


I found a picture of my dad from 1964, the year I was born. I bet you've seen men in Canada that would be his relatives.

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Old 08-22-2013, 12:34 AM   #23287
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You were born the same year as my brother - he is the only one of us born here.

Not sure if you're implying something about his pic RJ, but that's what a lot of men looked like at the time. The pic at left of my father was taken last year before his health took a bit of a downturn.

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Old 08-22-2013, 12:37 AM   #23288
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You were born the same year as my brother - he is the only one of us born here.

Not sure if you're implying something about his pic RJ, but that's what a lot of men looked like at the time. The pic at left of my father was taken last year before his health took a bit of a downturn.

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What I meant was, Anglicized First Nation members. His mother was born on the then St. Regis reservation, now the Mohawk Nation of Akwesasne. There's a big Mohawk community in Ontario, between the Falls and TO.
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Old 08-22-2013, 12:42 AM   #23289
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Yes, in my years as a DJ, I did a lot of gigs in Brantford. Lot of "Indians" there. It's funny how politically correct we've become.

I refuse to use the term "African American". Most of the people I meet around here are NOT from Africa and umm, we're not Americans.

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Old 08-22-2013, 12:47 AM   #23290
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Yes, in my years as a DJ, I did a lot of gigs in Brantford. Lot of "Indians" there. It's funny how politically correct we've become.

I refuse to use the term "African American". Most of the people I meet around here are NOT from Africa and umm, we're not Americans.

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To me a hyphen means you're naturalized
Without it, you're decrying your ancestry

I have to say Native American. I work with many people from India or their children. Or, I say "Casino Indian" LOL
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Old 08-22-2013, 12:53 AM   #23291
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I don't mind the term "Native" at all and / or "Indigenous". It is the American part I object to. This is Canada and sorry, don't give me that crap about it being North America. We have a lot of Jamaican and Islanders here and they don't want to be called African. I try to be as polite as possible, but we go overboard sometimes.

I'm a Mick / Scot / Brit Canadian.

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Old 08-29-2013, 09:59 PM   #23292
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Too many threads out here been far too quiet for far too long. Giving a few of them a

BUMP

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Old 11-25-2014, 04:42 PM   #23293
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Hello RED. I wonder if you continue to check LIT and "lurk". If so, I hope that you are doing well and life is fair to you. Perhaps the real world is treating you better or perhaps you got tired of some of the doings out here.

Your absence has been noted. A few people in my thread commented. Do you write any longer? Are you a presence somewhere else?

What is odd is the fact that if you were here right now, LIT might well have closed your thread. Anything beyond 5000 posts is fair game, although I am certain not every thread has been shut down.

Hope you are well and if you do return, drop us a line.

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Old 11-25-2014, 04:54 PM   #23294
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Hi guys,

As you mentioned Brett, I'm closing this thread as it is over the limit of 5000 posts. Only threads that are active or bumped will typically be closed, as they slow down the server.

I hope your friend still gets the message, though.

Cheers.
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