COVID-19 RESOURCES
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Stuttering in quotes

T

timelord1963

Experienced
Joined
Nov 5, 2010
Posts
65
I am wondering what the appropriate way to define someone to stutter in a quote

In this case she is stuttering because an over bearing authority figure asked her a question.

the submissive's name is Penny

I want to to stutter twice on her 'P"

currently I have P_P_Penny.

What the the correct form'

TL63
 
I like to use ellipses; it seems to be the norm for this kind of thing.

"What's your name, girl?"

"P...p..."

"Well, spit it out!"

"P...P...Penny, sir."

Like that, basically.
 
I think hyphens would work best. Elipses more indicate trailing off for me, but that might be a matter of taste. I don't think underscore works very well though.
 
"What's your name, girl?"

"P. . . p . . . ."

"Well, spit it out!"

"P. . .P. . .Penny, sir."

You can use the periods to indicate how badly is the sufferer.
My son used to pause in some silence. The only way I knew about it was the sound of his breathing; at which time I'd say something like "Take your time, lad. don't try and rush it".
 
My preference is to use hyphens, but it is just a preference. I think either hyphens or elipses work perfectly well as long as you pick one and stick to it. The context of the stutter would probably make your intended meaning clear anyway.
 
RubenR said:
Would hyphens also work for the example shown before?


"What's your name, girl?"

"P-P-"

"Well, spit it out!"

"P-P-Penny, sir."

'P-P-' (or should it be 'P-P') seems odd to me.
Click to expand...

If the aim is for the reader to understand the writer's intention, then yeah, it works. Regarding the use of repeated uppercase initials: I was dealing with that in my own writing yesterday and the conclusion I came to was that keeping the uppercase makes more sense as (in this instance and my own) it's the beginning of a name.
 
I've always used hyphens if they are stuttering and ellipses for a pause or trailing off.

For some reason, I don't like to include any stuttering on words that start with "th" or "st". Just sounds odd and reads odd too.
 
LeandraNyx said:
I like to use ellipses; it seems to be the norm for this kind of thing.

"What's your name, girl?"

"P...p..."

"Well, spit it out!"

"P...P...Penny, sir."

Like that, basically.
Click to expand...

Agree. I'd use an ellipsis, which I think is traditional, and denotes something missing (in this context, the next sound). I can't recall ever seeing hyphens used for stuttering speech. Maybe I don't read much stuttering speech!

A hyphen is used to join words and to separate syllables of a single word - I suppose a stutter might be separating syllables, but it's more likely on a single plosive.

Is this an English english vs American english usage, I wonder?
 
I'd say don't do it. Go with something simple like:

"What is your name girl?"

"Penny." she stuttered.

Capturing speech affectations, dialects, and disorders in dialogue is always risky business because it's difficult to do well and disruptive to the flow of the narrative.

Let the reader fill in the details of the stutter.
 
For stuttering, I think hyphens are the better choice. It shows a quicker action. Ellipses I tend to use for... Well... longer, thoughtful pauses?
 
One of the uses for ellipses is for interrupted speech. I'd think that stuttering would fall under that classification.
 
Paul_Chance said:
I'd say don't do it. Go with something simple like:

"What is your name girl?"

"Penny." she stuttered.
Click to expand...

A. If an author wants to render something one way and grammar supports it, there's no reason someone else should be rewriting how they want to present it.

B. That second sentences should be "Penny," she stuttered. A comma, not a period. (Although it isn't really right even then, as it doesn't demonstrate that the word was stuttered.)
 
Paul_Chance said:
I'd say don't do it. Go with something simple like:

"What is your name girl?"

"Penny." she stuttered.

Capturing speech affectations, dialects, and disorders in dialogue is always risky business because it's difficult to do well and disruptive to the flow of the narrative.

Let the reader fill in the details of the stutter.
Click to expand...

I think this would require a certain amount of expanding:

"What is your name girl?"
There was a hesitant pause as she stuttered: "Penny."
 
It depends. Why is she stuttering?

"P-P-Penny. Sir. M-My name is Penny, sir," she whispered, eyes widening.

vs.

"P... hmmmm... I... prefer not to say, sir," she said with a mischievous smile.

vs.

"P-Penny! P-Polished and pretty, sir! Forgive the o... o.. occasional stutter, it's b-been there since I was a child!"

vs.

She stuttered out something incomprehensible and stared at the floor, her face a study in reds and pinks.
"Speak up, child!"
"Yes sir," she squeaked. "Penny, sir! I'm so very sorry sir!"

I don't buy the general advice of just saying she stuttered. I might do it for a minor character with nothing very important to say, if the point was to make the character she spoke to seem more intimidating. But if I'm trying to get the reader into the head of Penny here, then dragging the reader through every fumbled consonant and pause has value. The intense awkwardness becomes that much more palpable.

One of my favorite games with a flustered character is to have them start a fragment of a sentence or word that reveals something they desperately don't want revealed, and then have them stutter for the rest of the sentence as they rapidly change the subject or say something less truthful. There are interesting hints and even foreshadowing that can be done with broken sentence fragments.
 
HandsInTheDark said:
It depends. Why is she stuttering?

"P-P-Penny. Sir. M-My name is Penny, sir," she whispered, eyes widening.

vs.

"P... hmmmm... I... prefer not to say, sir," she said with a mischievous smile.

vs.

"P-Penny! P-Polished and pretty, sir! Forgive the o... o.. occasional stutter, it's b-been there since I was a child!"

vs.

She stuttered out something incomprehensible and stared at the floor, her face a study in reds and pinks.
"Speak up, child!"
"Yes sir," she squeaked. "Penny, sir! I'm so very sorry sir!"

I don't buy the general advice of just saying she stuttered. I might do it for a minor character with nothing very important to say, if the point was to make the character she spoke to seem more intimidating. But if I'm trying to get the reader into the head of Penny here, then dragging the reader through every fumbled consonant and pause has value. The intense awkwardness becomes that much more palpable.

One of my favorite games with a flustered character is to have them start a fragment of a sentence or word that reveals something they desperately don't want revealed, and then have them stutter for the rest of the sentence as they rapidly change the subject or say something less truthful. There are interesting hints and even foreshadowing that can be done with broken sentence fragments.
Click to expand...

All of those work, in a given context. It's a matter of the situation and how you want to portray the character.

I also agree with your thoughts on general stuttering advice. Too much "he said-she said" and basic factual description of their speech gets on my nerves. It can disrupt the reader's view of the character and the situation.

Years ago I wrote a piece for the Lit-Olymics where the entire story was nothing but the game announcers speaking with no identifying add ins to say who was speaking. Just the characters own quirks and in replying to the last speaker by name would you know who was actually speaking. I think I pulled it off well:

“Errr… Yes. I suppose so. I am Oggbashan, your master of Ceremonies for today’s event. Joining me in the booth today are ABSTRUSE, providing color commentary, not to mention insults, jibes and general rudeness, and Edward Teach, our field expert.”

“Aarrrrak!, That’s a hoot. That’s a hoot. Aaarrrak!”

“Aaarrrrr… Shut up bird or I be havin’ ya for me dinner.”

“Edward, you were hired on as an expert in Table Tennis. Are you, or are you not an accredited expert?”

“Aaarrrrr… Not bloody likely, mate. But I do fancy a good floggin’, an’ that’s what we be seein’ here today.”

“But… But… But…”

“Aye, matey. Butt is the word of the day. Jiggling, pink, spanked booties. Aaarr!”

“But you were supposed to be…”

“Aw, stuff it Ogg…beater. What Eddie’s sayin’ is that where normal Table Tennis is played by swatting a ball back and forth across a table, with a net in the middle, with paddles, today our finalists will be paddling bare rump.”

“Aarrraaaak! Booty! Booty! Aaarrraaak

“Aye, and since all the lads be out of the competition, there’ll be no balls in play.”

“Good call, Eddie. That’s right folks, the men all wimped out of this, one leaving only four teams competing for the gold. And through the process of double elimination it has come down to two teams with a shot at the gold.”

“Yo ho, Blow the man down, Abby.”

“Not me, Eddie. They took themselves out.”

“Aaarrr I was referrin’ to you and me, Lass.”
Click to expand...
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

MrPixel
How old would you want to be if you could manipulate time?
2
Replies
33
Views
539
Leglover1234
Leglover1234
Kasumi_Lee
I Went For a Swim in the Loving Wives Shark Tank
2 3
Replies
65
Views
2K
blozo
blozo
EmilyMiller
Most egregious pop culture reference in one of your stories
2 3
Replies
53
Views
935
Unblemished
U
lovecraft68
Well this is flattering
Replies
5
Views
228
lovecraft68
lovecraft68
J
I tried to write something different, but...
2 3 4
Replies
79
Views
2K
ElectricBlue
ElectricBlue
Back
Top