The Men Who's Wives Have No Sex Drive Support Club

6-8 a week?

A great thread. There's comfort in numbers, eh? Like many of you, it's nice to know we are not alone. But it does impact us. I'm 59. In our prime we only had sex maybe 4-6 times a month, that's just barely once a week. Now it's more like 6-8 times per week. I have found comfort with erotic chat, phone sex, cam sex. But now I wonder how all that is having a negative impact on me during the odd times we do have sex. The women here at lit are so incredibly sexy and confident in their sexuality. They know what they want and what they like... or at least they know what they want to explore.
I rarely pursue sex with wife... why bother if it will only end in rejection. When she needs it, it's often a rather cool invitation like, "Would you like to come to bed with me tonight." Which in my mind feels similar to... would you like to have the fish or the chicken for dinner. When what i really want is a goddamn steak. Juicy. Tender. Bursting with flavor. Succulent. I want to savor every scent and every bite.
I don't masturbate a lot. I'm hard a lot, thanks to a few Lit ladies who reach out. But I mostly enjoy the sensations of being aroused. About once a week I'll actually get around to an orgasm. Our lack of engagement is affecting my sensitivity, both physical and emotional. And now even when we have sex, I'm thinking about or wishing it was really hot and erotic like what I've become accustomed to via chat and porn. Perhaps a classic case of porn addiction?


Not bad, I assume a typo. My wife and I were in the same rut. She had menopause as an excuse, tho. Had more fun on PC. But then, she died suddenly and I found a new world of sissies. At my age, there are PLENTY of available women, if you got an income and some health. There are prolly plenty of gay boys, but I dont want that. I found sissies, and love them. So, I got a dame (way too soon) but travel some and round up a sissy or CD date. Now, I have a date to BE a sissy, cant wait. All I can say is I will NEVER marry again, and I have turned down 3.
 
Great thread. I'm glad I'm not alone. Been married 10.5 years with 3 kids. During dating sex was great and frequent. A little less frequent when we got married and even less with kids. I get it, marriage does that to a sex life. So for the last 5-6 years my wife's libido has gone almost nonexistent. She has a very stressful job and work long hours. She never feels like having sex. She says she wants to want to have sex but nothing. She has initiated sex a few times in our marriage. I am always the initiator and most of the time it is met with annoyance or ignorance. Lately this has bled over into our day to day lives. Example: if she's in the kitchen at the counter I'll come up behind her and give her a kiss on the neck. This is met with annoyance. She has lost all intimacy towards me. Even a hand on the knee or a hand on the hand is ignored or brushed away. I want intimacy also. We have had some hot passionate porno sex in the last few years, but recently the only sex we have is her rolling over on her side and just laying there motionless. If there is any movement it's to try to get me off so it'll be over with. I don't consider this sex. The act of me masturbating with her motionless body is not sex. Sex with a spouse should be as much emotional as it is physical. I tell her that sex is a very important aspect to a healthy marriage. She does not think it is important. With her busy crazy job, there are many many times when I have to do everything with the kids in the morning, all activities after school, and then everything at night. Keep in mind I also work a full time job. I don't get a thank you, an atta boy, or anything. I am not the kind of person that expects or needs praise for good deeds, but a little appreciation from the wife would be nice. I know it sounds like a lot of bitching, but I just need to vent. I can't talk about this with the wife because it just ends in accusations of me wanting sex all the time. Oh well. Glad I found this thread.
 
Great thread. I'm glad I'm not alone. Been married 10.5 years with 3 kids. During dating sex was great and frequent. A little less frequent when we got married and even less with kids. I get it, marriage does that to a sex life. So for the last 5-6 years my wife's libido has gone almost nonexistent. She has a very stressful job and work long hours. She never feels like having sex. She says she wants to want to have sex but nothing. She has initiated sex a few times in our marriage. I am always the initiator and most of the time it is met with annoyance or ignorance. Lately this has bled over into our day to day lives. Example: if she's in the kitchen at the counter I'll come up behind her and give her a kiss on the neck. This is met with annoyance. She has lost all intimacy towards me. Even a hand on the knee or a hand on the hand is ignored or brushed away. I want intimacy also. We have had some hot passionate porno sex in the last few years, but recently the only sex we have is her rolling over on her side and just laying there motionless. If there is any movement it's to try to get me off so it'll be over with. I don't consider this sex. The act of me masturbating with her motionless body is not sex. Sex with a spouse should be as much emotional as it is physical. I tell her that sex is a very important aspect to a healthy marriage. She does not think it is important. With her busy crazy job, there are many many times when I have to do everything with the kids in the morning, all activities after school, and then everything at night. Keep in mind I also work a full time job. I don't get a thank you, an atta boy, or anything. I am not the kind of person that expects or needs praise for good deeds, but a little appreciation from the wife would be nice. I know it sounds like a lot of bitching, but I just need to vent. I can't talk about this with the wife because it just ends in accusations of me wanting sex all the time. Oh well. Glad I found this thread.

You're in a lot of good company. I was in that same situation with my wife for years. It's frustrating isn't it?
 
...sex drive good, body failing.

Those of you enduring this have my deepest sympathies, and I'm thankful I'm not entirely in the same boat.

I won't say that my wife's sex drive has waned, since she still wants it, we still get it on, and she still cums at the drop of a hat, but I will say that physical problems have limited the frequency, reduced the variety and slowed down what we can do.

Too many years on her feet as an RN eroded her knees till one was bone on bone making doggie style and cowgirl positions painful for her. She got a knee replacement which helped out but now the other knee is in the same condition.

The spontaneity is reduced when you have to think about what might cause your partner pain when choosing sexual positions. Missionary still works as do spread eagle and the anvil (her legs over my shoulders) if I'm not too rough in getting her there.

Of course, by necessity, this has taught us the wonders of many lying down positions, both face to face and from behind like spooning and the butterfly (like doggy style on your sides) as well as her just lying flat on her belly or with a pillow under hips while I take her from behind (or even, though infrequently, anally).

Of course, the physical limitations aren't just hers. After two cervical spine surgeries the neck positions required to pleasure her orally are uncomfortable for me. I love it so much, feeling her respond, face covered in her juices, that I never let on how much it hurts. She knows anyhow (she's a nurse, how could she not) and always asks if I'm "alright" and sometimes asks me to stop, or tells me, "You don't have to do that." Yes I do, and there's no way you could keep me from it. I just pay for it with a stiff neck and pain for a day or two after.

Of course she still loves sucking me and often insists that it's incorporated into love making sessions (she won't take no for an answer either) though I know moving into some positions to do it can be painful for her knees. BTW, she still deep throats like a porn star.

Finally, and more and more often, we find ourselves wanting to be intimate but with aches and pains or just fatigue that make intercourse less desirable. On those occasions we kiss, pet, and enjoy masturbating one another (often with laughter and comments about the mess I'VE made). Even lying in bed, side by side, legs touching or intertwined, and masturbating ourselves is sensual, erotic and intimate.

We're getting old but we're certainly not dead. Ain't getting old grand though....NOT !!

ON EDIT - - BTW, I thought I'd add that things haven't always been all hunky dory for me. I have been where many of you are. I went through much of what many of you are talking about in my first marriage. After two kids and almost ten years of marriage my ex-wife became distant and lost interest in sex..., our faith, and our marriage. I guess, most of all, she lost interest in me.

I'm not going to go into details, but I just came home from a bad day at work one day, literally covered in pepper spray and upset that a partner had been seriously injured in an assault, and she said, "I want out." Some guy was there helping her to move out within fifteen minutes.

A few months before this she had said she wanted to try another church, an ultra-charismatic and "spiritually adventurous" church in our community, and the guy who helped her move out, and with whom she moved in, turned out to be the worship leader from that church. Take that !! I don't claim to be blameless, but I certainly didn't deserve this. (BTW, she went all the way off the Christian reservation and is now a wiccan.)

She was seven years younger than me, blond haired and blue eyed, and I have to honestly say not too bright. I got custody of the kids and the house (but also all of the marital debts) and she walked away with one car and I suppose she would say, "Her freedom."

My current wife of twenty years, that I speak of above, is five years older than me, a dark haired brown eyed Italian, highly educated and sharp as a tack. The sex and intimacy aside, she stimulates me in ways that the first wife never did. She's also been a wonderful mother to our now grown kids and had a much larger role in raising mine than did their biological mother.

I don't know why I mention this. Hope for the hopeless?
 
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I was thinking about starting a thread like this, since the "Did you get Laid yesterday or today" thread is so popular but I rarely have anything to contribute.
I am female. We've been together 10yrs, he was raised Catholic. In the beginning I should have seen the signs. We would only have sex once a week, at a point in time we should have been fucking like rabbits. I thought my b.c were the issue, so we tried everything under the sun to try to get a predictable menstruation cycle. Nothing ever worked. We both mastubated alot so I thought he had a drive compatible with mine. We enjoyed mutual masturbation often.
Babies came. The first five months of my first pregnancy were AMAZING. We had sex often. Sometimes up to four times a week! When we discovered our baby was a girl, all sex stopped. He said it was weird, he felt like it was more of a threesome and not one he wanted to partake in. In between babies we had sex only a handful of times, it must be the weight, I convinced myself. Second pregnancy we didn't have sex at all.
I breastfed my kids. He would stare at my huge chest and joke about how when I spooned with him all he could feel was my chest and I couldn't snuggle in close. He is a breast man, only time I can say I was an EE, before kids I was a perky B. I felt so sexy at that point in my life despite being exhausted from kids, work, and life in general. All breastplay stopped. I used to titty fuck him in the beginning of our relationship, so I have always been perplexed as to why we haven't done it since.
The kids are older now. They are in school, we own our own company so we choose our hours. I had imagined we would find all this extra time to have sex. Now we have sex less frequently then before. In Sept when the kids went back we had sex 10xs that month, I think the only other time it was anywhere near that was during that first pregnancy. Now we are on a four month dry spell.
When I ask he has said some pretty profound things. "I just don't WANT to have sex with YOU." "I have too much stress I can't even begin to think about sex." "It's not you, it's me." When I asked well, what was September then? He claimed he had no clue what I was talking about. Really?? I'm talking about the hot ass sex we had that made me think you had changed.
I recently decided to get my tubes tied. Maybe that's why we haven't lately. It's like he is mad at me for doing what is best for me. I heard of women withhwolding sex out of spite but this is ridiculous. I have eight more days until I am able to start having sex again. Maybe I'll have an exclamatory post then. But I'm not keeping my fingers crossed.
One time I told him I wanted "enthusiastic sex". HUGE MISTAKE. I don't recommend you gentlemen saying that to wifey either! Because he switched it around on me and I got pretty livid. Him suggesting my lip service was getting lame hurt. But it's true. I enjoy sucking his cock, but I don't enjoy doing it "just because" anymore. It hurts my feelings thinking he thinks that's all I'm good for. So why waste my time?
He still masturbates often. He will deny it until he is blue in the face. Why he denies it, beyond me. Since our "healthy" masturbation habits were one of the pluses in the begining. I haven't asked him straight up how many times he gets off a week. I am curious but I'd rather not ask and watch him MANtrums.

It hurts. Like some of you men out there, I wonder if we will be together after the kids are grown.

Sorry to post in what appeared to be a Male's Club only thread. But gosh do I feel empathetic! 💯 If I receive any complaints I'll start a sister thread to this one. If other ladies wish to have a thread PM me.

I think you are more than welcome here, and I encourage you to post whatever feels comfortable. I know, in slightly different ways, how frustrating this can be.
 
I think you are more than welcome here, and I encourage you to post whatever feels comfortable. I know, in slightly different ways, how frustrating this can be.

Just wondering, but can't the originator of the thread edit the title to be more inclusive?
 
wifes lost desire

Great thread anyone wants to PM, please feel free, heres my story.

Met wife 2004 after now ex wife, thought more of her friends than me, arrived home late after work, she was out, dinner in oven etc etc o- felt neglected - boom someone else came long and long story short i eventually married her - that was 2011. Things at first great, lots of fun, outdoor play, nude batching and running around ,sex fab nothing really kinky ( i am she isnt really ) things didnt seem slow down, lots of fun, outdoor sex, positions etc - then along came the big C ( cancer ) after having a part breast removed her body confidence went to zero - embarassed of how she looks with what she calls a wonky boob. but i think its the drugs more than anything - anti cancer drugs are know for taking away labido and boy do they - big time.
If im lucky its a quickie every three weeks, I dont really enjoy wanking but occassionly do.

I think I and generally most Men require more sex than women, most of who i think are happy with the nicer things of life, family home etc.

I long to have my old wife back and am told that after she stops taking the drugs another 2 years ) things will go back to normal - I worry by that time it might be to late and we;ll be so far apart we wont be able to reconcile it and i really dont know what to do for the better.
Ill say now that if anyone has been through a life with someone you love and cancer theyll know what i mean by it being a very very lonely journey.
 
Hi Everyone!

There seem to be a large group of us here who are happily married and somewhere along the lines our wives have lost interest in sex. I thought it would be nice to have a common thread for us to chat and discuss how we deal with it and meet others in the same boat.

My story seems to be a common one. Had really great sex while we were dating. Ok sex once we got married. And now it is once a month "make it quick" sex since kids. It's rough. I'm always horny. I think my wife is sexy and beautiful. But there is nothing that seems to get her interested in sex. Even when we have sex she's always very present. She doesn't let go. Most of the time i'm ok with it and just thankful for the wonderful life I have. But sometimes (when it gets to 6 or so weeks without sex) I take it personally and feel unloved. When that happens it's hard.

How do I deal with it? Usually i'm left to jerking off and end up on Literotica. Check out my fav threads, see what new stories are up and then venture out into porn land from there. I've recently tried to really cut back on Lit and Porn. But in a bigtime current dry spell (2 months) so there is only so much holding out I can handle :(

I'm starting this club because I feel like one of the best things about Lit is being able to talk about what you are going through and then coming to realize you aren't alone. It's free therapy with some sexy conversation and content thrown in :D

Feel free to share your story and how you deal with it or you can PM me if you don't want to post.

IMPORTANT NOTE WOMEN ARE VERY VERY WELCOME HERE I may have made it a guys club but it isn't. Any women in this position please join in we'd love to hear from you


Gotta say I am in exactly the same boat... and here I thought I was the only one
 
Inclusive to what....

In the context of the quote at the beginning of that post, it was in response to someone who was saying that a woman who posted on the thread was welcome. The title seems rather exclusive. He told her she was welcome and I was seconding that sentiment and was wondering out loud if it was possible for the originator of the thread to edit the title.
 
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Great thread. I'm glad I'm not alone. Been married 10.5 years with 3 kids. During dating sex was great and frequent. A little less frequent when we got married and even less with kids. I get it, marriage does that to a sex life. So for the last 5-6 years my wife's libido has gone almost nonexistent. She has a very stressful job and work long hours. She never feels like having sex. She says she wants to want to have sex but nothing. She has initiated sex a few times in our marriage. I am always the initiator and most of the time it is met with annoyance or ignorance. Lately this has bled over into our day to day lives. Example: if she's in the kitchen at the counter I'll come up behind her and give her a kiss on the neck. This is met with annoyance. She has lost all intimacy towards me. Even a hand on the knee or a hand on the hand is ignored or brushed away. I want intimacy also. We have had some hot passionate porno sex in the last few years, but recently the only sex we have is her rolling over on her side and just laying there motionless. If there is any movement it's to try to get me off so it'll be over with. I don't consider this sex. The act of me masturbating with her motionless body is not sex. Sex with a spouse should be as much emotional as it is physical. I tell her that sex is a very important aspect to a healthy marriage. She does not think it is important. With her busy crazy job, there are many many times when I have to do everything with the kids in the morning, all activities after school, and then everything at night. Keep in mind I also work a full time job. I don't get a thank you, an atta boy, or anything. I am not the kind of person that expects or needs praise for good deeds, but a little appreciation from the wife would be nice. I know it sounds like a lot of bitching, but I just need to vent. I can't talk about this with the wife because it just ends in accusations of me wanting sex all the time. Oh well. Glad I found this thread.
Sadly, I could have written this exact same post nearly word for word! I also have no answers, she's my room mate I guess?
 
Me Too!

The marital sex that I have is the same every time. No twists no adventure no imagination and whan I suggest something the response is "not today" or something similar.

I'm not going to bore people with the details but there is ZERO adoration in our sex life.
 
This thread makes me so sad - because I was that wife with no sex drive. With every post I read, I realize how my husband must have truly felt during those times, yet he never really expressed those feelings to me.

Like most married couples being discussed here, we had a lot of sex when dating, less when kids came along and when we got busy with work and teenagers and LIFE, things really slowed down. I'm ashamed to say that we once went three years without sex. I honestly don't know how he managed to stay by my side, but I'm grateful that he did.

Thankfully we did not have any injury or illness as part of the equation, but I was taking birth control for PMDD. I have since come off the bc, hit my mid-forties, and our last child has moved out on her own. It was kind of the perfect storm and my sex drive has come back stronger than it ever was in my twenties or thirties. Not only is our sex infinitely more frequent than ever before, it is way more intense and enjoyable. Our marriage is stronger than it has been in years and I have a much happier and content husband.

I sometimes feel like I require too much sex from him - although he has yet to complain. I worry that any day now he will lose interest (or ability) and I will have to regretfully look back on all those wasted years. Neither one of us is getting any younger - so we're enjoying it while we can! I still feel like I want more sex than he does...that's what brought me here.

I post all of this really to say - hang in there! There is hope and things CAN change. I never thought my marriage would be where it is now after a three year dry spell. Back then, I didn't really care if we ever had sex again. Looking back, I hate that I didn't care and wish I had tried to fix things sooner. I'm so lucky to have a patient husband. And one that still wants lots of sex. :)
 
Hello. I've been married since 2004. Sex was weekly at the beginning. Then monthly... then a few times a year.. now it has been a four years. She doesn't feel sexy, doesn't enjoy it anymore. No matter what I do or say, no luck.

It is a club that none of us want to be in. :(
 
Like so many others here I to am in the same boat. Married 17 years and Going on year five since she unilaterally decided that she didn't want sex any more and that automatically meant the same for me.

This is not the life I signed up for and since she refuses to talk about it I'm just left to wonder why things are this way.

The resentment is real...I feel unwanted and rejected, and she doesn't seem to care.

It's comforting to know that I'm just not alone despite feeling that way.
 
Thank you for sharing your story Abby! How wonderful to hear from a lady who has lived threw it all! I am certainly looking forward to getting older!!
 
Thank you for sharing your story Abby! How wonderful to hear from a lady who has lived threw it all! I am certainly looking forward to getting older!!

Again, damn, sometimes I wish there was a "Like" button for some posts on this forum. Kudo's to you and Abby...and my wife.

As they say, "Getting old ain't for sissies" but as they also say, "I'm old...not dead."

Though there's setbacks and challenges, aging has been a loving adventure for my wife and I. The "Chevy Van" of my youth (yes, I owned one when that song came out), is a motorhome in our senior years but the old saying "If this van's rockin' don't be knockin'," still applies.

...and for the youngsters perhaps too young to know the song referenced in my mention of "Chevy Van", here it is.

https://youtu.be/RiEIToOWr64
 
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This thread makes me so sad - because I was that wife with no sex drive. With every post I read, I realize how my husband must have truly felt during those times, yet he never really expressed those feelings to me.

Like most married couples being discussed here, we had a lot of sex when dating, less when kids came along and when we got busy with work and teenagers and LIFE, things really slowed down. I'm ashamed to say that we once went three years without sex. I honestly don't know how he managed to stay by my side, but I'm grateful that he did.

Thankfully we did not have any injury or illness as part of the equation, but I was taking birth control for PMDD. I have since come off the bc, hit my mid-forties, and our last child has moved out on her own. It was kind of the perfect storm and my sex drive has come back stronger than it ever was in my twenties or thirties. Not only is our sex infinitely more frequent than ever before, it is way more intense and enjoyable. Our marriage is stronger than it has been in years and I have a much happier and content husband.

I sometimes feel like I require too much sex from him - although he has yet to complain. I worry that any day now he will lose interest (or ability) and I will have to regretfully look back on all those wasted years. Neither one of us is getting any younger - so we're enjoying it while we can! I still feel like I want more sex than he does...that's what brought me here.

I post all of this really to say - hang in there! There is hope and things CAN change. I never thought my marriage would be where it is now after a three year dry spell. Back then, I didn't really care if we ever had sex again. Looking back, I hate that I didn't care and wish I had tried to fix things sooner. I'm so lucky to have a patient husband. And one that still wants lots of sex. :)

Thanks for that, Abby. It's nice to know that there may be some tiny glimmer of hope for some of us.

To your question regarding why he stayed: To some extent, it's part of that "better or worse" clause. There aren't a lot of married men, at almost any age, who get as much sex as they'd like (the whole "what can you feed a woman that'll decrease her sex drive by half" bit). It's why it frustrates the hell out of me when all you ever hear about in the media is "Why doesn't my husband want sex anymore?"

Anyhow, some of us take the "better or worse" thing to heart. We love you, we made a commitment to be with you till the end. We know you're in there somewhere, and we know you aren't having any fun with it, either. Doesn't make it any easier to take sometimes, that helplessness, but we get that it's a part of the whole package. We endure. We don't like it, but we have less control over it than you do.

Yes, for some men, that commitment isn't enough, and they search out other avenues. It's unfortunate, but true. For the majority, I think that avenue is probably a lot more "hands on." Sometimes to the point where masturbation loses some of its thrill, maybe to the point where you just give up on even self sex. I think it then becomes a degree of depression. I know I've felt that "why even try anymore?" impulse. But without sex, marriage is pretty much just two people living in the same house with a contract between them. It's hard to feel connected to that person.

Another, personal thing I found. With my wife's lack of interest, I found myself not feeling very desirable anymore, either. I mean, she'd tell me she loved me and all that, but all it was was words. While I tried (and still do) to tell her she looked good to me and such things, I never received any inkling that I was anything much more than the guy who came home from work each night and helped walk the dogs. When I told her my problem was that she didn't want me anymore, all I got was an agreement that, no, not any more, not in that way. What the hell's a guy to do with that? I know she really wouldn't like that I was telling you all this. She'd be upset I was talking with anybody online, but fuck, there certainly isn't anybody in my real life I can talk to about it. And let's face it, a conversation through a computer screen can be more contact than we get at home.

Okay, sorry about that.

But not once did I ever consider leaving or going outside our marriage. Oh, I wrote "what if's" and that kind of bit, but never with any intention of acting on it.

And don't think that it's all a "duty" thing, though I'm sure with some guys, that's just what it turns out to be, with all the resentment and anger that can come from that. It's more complex than that. Or maybe simpler, I don't know. For me, it's more what I call "canine." Regardless of anything else, she's mine, and no matter who I talk to and no matter what silly things I may write, I'm not going anywhere.

I don't know if that answers your question, Abby, but maybe it gives a little insight - or at least one man's opinion of it. Bottom line: he stayed because he loves you and even though it was frustrating as hell for him, that one thing got him through it with you.

And it sounds like his patience and devotion paid off.

And he may not seem to "want it" as much as you do these days, but as you said, he isn't complaining, and I think that says plenty. In his shoes, you certainly wouldn't hear a peep of protest from the rest of us, either...
 
Hi everyone!

This post is long, but please don't skip it.

I started reading all the posts and well, after a while I knew the content before reading.

Let me start out by saying there are millions of men in your position. Sad because physically, it's an easy fix. That being said, balanced hormones can not fix an emotionally broken relationship.

It's caused by a lack of testosterone and estrodial in a woman. T (testosterone) is what drives a woman's sex drive.

I started two of the largest online support sites for hormones. Almost 2000 members. I know doctors and pharmacists that make the hormones. I've helped women from as far as New Zealand find a doctor for hormones.

It has been my passion for 10 years to help women not go through what I did.


Here is my story:
I’m 63 and had a TAH-BSO (complete hysterectomy with removal of ovaries) in 1987 when I was 34. I managed the “typical” menopause symptoms of hot flashes, night sweats, vaginal health, moodiness, sleeplessness, etc. with different estrogen pills. However, no doctor ever mentioned the loss of sex drive or the many, many benefits of testosterone. The result? No libido. I lost all my pubic hair in front within 3 years of my hysterectomy and I didn’t understand why. I also got old. I looked old, acted old, dressed old and was very reserved and just not a vibrant person. Then in 2002 came the estrogen scare. I tried to get off of the estrogen and couldn’t due to extreme hot flashes and night sweats.

I had moved to the desert in 2000 and in 2003, read a newsletter from my gynecologist about Bioidentical Subcutaneous Hormone Pellets. These tiny pellets are made up of either estrogen or testosterone. One of the symptoms of low testosterone was the loss and thinning of pubic hair. That caught my eye so I read the list and checked off almost every one! I finally had reasons for the way I was! I made an appointment with her to discuss them. After 30 minutes of discussing them, she offered to insert them. I was a bit (ok, a lot) scared but thought I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. And so began my incredible journey.

In the beginning I got them every 12 weeks. Now I can go 4-6 months based on blood labs and symptoms.

It's a simple office procedure. My gyn numbs an area on my hip, makes a small incision, inserts the pellets using a trocar, puts on steri-strips and a Band-Aid on and off I go! I get 2 estrogen pellets which are 25mg each, and 2 testosterone pellets of 37.5mgs each. I will get these pellets as long as I am able. Hopefully till I die.

I have to say they drastically changed my life for the better. First of all the menopause symptoms went away. The absolute best was the increase in sex drive. Desire, arousal, lubrication and orgasm went from nothing to WOW! Not only did my sex drive come back in full force, but my self-image has increased, my confidence is back and I'm more outgoing. I look years younger (and have photos to prove it), feel younger, lost weight and have never felt better in my life!

I had been diagnosed with Osteopenia. That has been reversed.

Women who are in natural menopause have to use progesterone to protect the uterus. I do understand that it’s a bit trickier to get balanced in natural menopause over surgical. But it CAN be done.


Now...to put it in guys terms....

I have always compared Estrogen and Testosterone to Oil and Gas in a car. Estrogen = Oil Testosterone = Gas.

A car needs gas to run. We need Testosterone to have a great sex drive. If a car has no gas, it doesn’t matter how long or how hard you press on the gas pedal (clitoris), you aren’t going anywhere (orgasm). It doesn’t matter how hard we wish that the car would go, without gas it’s not going anywhere. It doesn’t matter how hard we wish for a sex drive, without testosterone, we don’t have one.

A car needs oil to keep the moving parts lubricated. A woman’s body needs estrogen to keep moving parts lubricated. Without oil, a car gets overheated, parts wear out and the car breaks down. Without estrogen, women get overheated, tissues can dry out, tear and breakdown. Leaking can occur.

I searched what happens when a car has no oil. I found a couple of descriptions which I copied here. Then I changed oil to estrogen, and engine terms and parts to women’s bodies. It’s pretty interesting how it turned out. Some may not quite be 100% technically accurate, but I think you get the idea.

I get many emails from men asking for information because their wife is suffering from menopause or had a hysterectomy and is experiencing symptoms and no sex drive. I use the car comparison because, well, you guys get it!!

Scenario 1:
Oil is one of the most critical fluids in your automobile. The reason that it needs changing so frequently is because of the amount of work that it does, and because of how crucial clean oil is to engine life. Engines have dozens and dozens of moving metal parts, and oil provides a protective layer that significantly reduces friction and heat. When the oil level decreases, more pieces are rubbing together without that barrier of protection, much more heat is produced, and the metal in the engine can warp or even melt.

Estrogen is one of the most critical hormones in a woman’s body. The reason we need Estrogen is because of the amount of work we do and how crucial it is to our lives. Women have dozens and dozens of moving parts and estrogen provides lubrication for all of our body, especially vaginal and reduces friction during sex and prevents hot flashes. When Estrogen levels decrease, women experience vaginal dryness, general dryness all over, hot flashes and night sweats occur and our minds and moods can warp or even melt.

Scenario 2:
There are many moving parts in an engine, all of which are in very close tolerances. These parts move at an incredible speed. The oil pump pushes oil through passages to all the moving parts.

Lack of oil for even two seconds is destructive to an engine. Without the oil to separate the parts, they begin to touch each other and metal-to-metal contact occurs at high speed. Without oil, an engine can destroy itself in a matter of seconds.



As a side note: Pellets were invented over 80 years ago. Men as they age have lower T levels. Pellets are widely available for men and work great.

Creams for men and women are not effective.



Disclaimer: I am not a member of the medical industry and anything I say is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
 
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I am a lucky women too. My sex drive is much higher now at 50. Late 20's and early 30's I didn't have much of a drive. I think once the kids got older I opened up.
Now I do my part to help the married men who don't get sex at home. I think back to when hubby was frustrated with me and if I just gave him 5 minutes of my time how happy he would have been. Now when he asks I always give him 5 minutes of my time.
 
Part of the club

A lot of these stories could be me. My wife and I had a lot of sex, even after marriage. A few years ago, my wife hit menopause early (she was 46, she says the women in her family all begin early.) The sex started dropping off, then ending. Part of the problem is she doesn't want it nearly as often, but she also as the vaginal tissue thinned sex would be painful. We always had to be careful because she's small and I'm kind of big, so now it just hurt her too much.

She has been using a type of hormone cream which has reduce sensitivity but it hasn't done much for her sex drive. It's been depressing as hell because I've always had a healthy sex drive, and even when we have had sex lately she isn't imtereted in anything creative or acrobatic. We used to enjoy a lot of different kinds of play, and had a wonderful D/s relationship but now that's all gone.
 
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