Falleinger
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It was the My Buddy doll I received in 1985.
Route to being gay??
- Thread starter wooger
- Start date
Jerseyshore
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I've been attracted to both sexes ever since I can remember. My first sex of any kind was swapping blowjobs with a male cousin. The first woman I ever has sex with was his older sister. Although IRL, I keep quiet about my sexual preferences, I like men or women about equally. I've had intense emotional relationships with both. But once I'm in a committed relationship, I don't step out of it until it's over. Although I use the the bi label here, if I really had to put a label on it, I'm just me.
IdahoRandy
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first bi thought
I grew up with Penthouse Magazine and loved the stories in the forum. I got off on the Girl/Girl stories the most. Then they had Penthouse letters, and my first gay man stories. They didn't really do much for me. My friends and I would jack off together but not touch each other. But then about 20 years ago, I dreamed I sucked my own cock. I still remember how good it felt. In my dream I swallowed my own come and woke up with come all over me. And that's what started my gay fantasies. I still want to come with a cock in my mouth.
I grew up with Penthouse Magazine and loved the stories in the forum. I got off on the Girl/Girl stories the most. Then they had Penthouse letters, and my first gay man stories. They didn't really do much for me. My friends and I would jack off together but not touch each other. But then about 20 years ago, I dreamed I sucked my own cock. I still remember how good it felt. In my dream I swallowed my own come and woke up with come all over me. And that's what started my gay fantasies. I still want to come with a cock in my mouth.
Controlu69
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I remember seeing a beautiful boy with a beautiful ass( I was a boy myself ). I used to play with him and used any excuse to touch his ass, first time I knew I was attracted to males.
none2_none2
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I remember seeing handsome, hairy, masculine MEN and their hot asses (I was a boy), but knew it was forbidden as I was sure I would get slapped, punched, or worse if I ever tried to even touch their asses. However, I'm glad I had the sense not to riskt it -- not because of fear of my physical well-being but because I realized it was my nature to develop emotional feelings over time if I did get that lucky with a guy. Nothing would have been worse than someone who had urged me on to touch and/or play with their beautiful behind only to be told eventually by that same individual to move on to someone else...
A man's ass and face may be his best physical attributes, but if he has a kind heart I'll never understand how one can keep it casual over time. I've had the same partner for so long. While we have our ups and downs like in any relationship. Regardless, a long term bond is like a wonderful pair of comfortable shoes. There isn't any patent leather shoes (no matter how new or how pretty and shinny) that would convince me to trade in my dependable, comfortable old shoes even for just a few hours of looking all spiffed up in shinny new shoes.
Last edited:
suckonsimon
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I so get that, pal.
My fantasies have taken me through MFM to MMF to MM oral, but that's born out of my 'envy' at my woman's pleasure in sucking my cock. It leaves me hetero, just freed up from the old anxieties that society imposed.
ADIDAS00
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Well said!!! So what if we think a nice firm cock is a thing of beauty?!?! Society and social norms make us think something's wrong with us but I say go for it. Try new things and see what you like.....even if it is sucking a beautiful cock. I know I'd like to try it one day. I still adore woman but it could be fun to try something new
S
scott6251
Guest
When you try it, you may find that it feels very natural . . .
UnderMyKilt
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This is like the old "first time" threads that usually get deleted due to rule violations. That said, this response has worked on similar threads in the past so I'll give it a go with a few edits.
For starters, I'm bisexual, married twice with kids and grandkids, but I have no doubt that had the era, the attitudes, my family, or the environment in which I grew up been slightly different I could have been exclusively gay.
The old "nature vs nurture" argument, or "was I born this way or did youthful experiences make me this way," question has vexed me for my whole adult life.
For starters, let me say this, I was the victim of continuous molestation at the hands of a much older neighbor boy. That’s about all I’m going to say about that since I think that’s all I’m allowed to say about that here. Other than anonymously in a few forums, it’s a secret I’ve shared only with my oldest sister, my ex-wife, my current wife, and a therapist. My parents never knew.
In spite of that experience, and once it was thankfully over when my molester moved away, I never thought about such things till an older cousin let me read a sex novelette that he had stashed in his room. The book had stories of both heterosexual and homosexual sex but the one that stuck in my mind was one in which a bisexual character said that whenever he got anal desires, he “…let Chocco hang it up the ol’ bunghole”. Obviously, that phrase stuck with me since I still remember it.
Almost as soon as I became sexually aware, and began to masturbate, I took pleasure in stimulating my anus. At first it was just putting pressure on my perineum till I became brave enough to feel around my anus and eventually to stick a finger in. From then on, Vaseline and digital penetration became regular players in my masturbation.
Not long after, I happened to take a shower in my folks’ bathroom where my mom had left her douche bag hanging from the shower head. I didn’t think about it for but a second before I filled the bag, had the nozzle up my ass, and was taking an enema. I loved the sensation immediately. Knowing I couldn’t keep using hers, I concocted a plan to buy my own. I saved up money from various sources and went to the neighborhood drugstore (when we had such things) with a list as if it was from my mom. There I bought tampons, Vaseline, and a Faultless combination syringe. Who was going to question it? The young man was obviously sent with a list. Though very infrequently any more, I still take enemas for pleasure and as preparation to make sure I'm clean before anal play.
My first anal toy, other than a finger, was a spare hand grip bought for one of our motorcycles. It was perfect. I knew it was right the moment I saw it. It was narrower, but still probably 1-1/2 to 2 inches in diameter at the tip, widening a little in the middle, and narrower at the bottom where it had a flange that kept it from slipping all the way inside my ass. It was smooth on the outside so it could be kept clean and had kind of a spongy yet firm texture. It was accidentally designed like a butt plug before I think they even marketed butt plugs. It was my constant companion for masturbation, often in the shower after an enema. I also used it to retain enemas.
Somewhere in this timeline, some friends and I were exploring a cave in bluffs near our neighborhood when we came across a box of tattered porn magazines. No clue who put them there. Most were straight, but a few were gay. We looked at them, like any curious boys would, but with that particular group no one ever mentioned masturbating yet alone together. The others went, “Oooh, yuck,” when we got to the gay ones but I was more than a little intrigued. So intrigued in fact that I snuck out of the house after bedtime that night, went back to the cave by flashlight, and brought the whole contents of the box back with me in a backpack. On subsequent trips to the cave “we” figured that the owner must have figured out someone else was in the cave and took them somewhere else.
Also in this timeline, I discovered my oldest sisters stash of dildos and vibrators in a drawer in her room. Several were designed like large realistic penises and I’d sneak one out and masturbate with it in my ass whenever I had the chance. As some point I didn’t put everything back exactly right, she figured it out, and she told me to just keep it. We’ve always had, and still have, a special relationship to this day.
Thus, I masturbated with anal toys, and sometimes while looking at the gay porn mags we'd found in the cave. I always worried that my anal proclivities somehow made me homosexual (I don’t recall the term “gay” even being used then) but I dismissed it since I wasn’t doing it with anyone else….just myself.
From junior high school on my best friend was Wayne who is featured in my stories He didn’t live in my immediate neighborhood, so he wasn’t a “playmate” like other boys. We didn’t ride bikes together, or play sports together, but rather we shared more serious pursuits like music, literature, studying, watching or going to movies, swimming at each others houses, smoking pot, and as we got older even double dating with our girlfriends. I always felt different when around Wayne and, as it turned out, he felt different around me.
The first time anyone else touched my penis, in a sexual way, it was Wayne. As we had done many times before, I was at his house for a sleepover and we were taking turns showing each other licks on his drum set and smoking pot. His bedroom was dominated by a huge double bass drum set (a Ludwig Octaplus) with his bed consisting of a futon which he folded into a couch when not sleeping. After showing me some beats, he came over and sat next to me on the futon where we took a few hits off a joint.
We were talking, laughing, and just really into the company of each other (I can close my eyes and see his smile that day) when he said, “Do you beat off?”. I said, “Of course I do”, and he somewhat softly and meekly said, “Do want to beat off together,” and, as my heart leapt up into my throat, I said “Sure”.
So, there it was. We started off masturbating together, after weeks of doing only that we masturbated each other, which sometime later led to anal and then oral (though not immediately) and we never looked back till separate colleges and time and distance pulled us apart.
From that moment on, I knew I was “into guys”, well, at least into THAT guy, and ONLY that guy. Though I’ve had many women, including two wives, I’ve had only one gay partner since Wayne. I thought it was going to be more, but it ended up being a one-off experience and I was so burned that I never looked for another male sex partner.
I still watch gay porn often, even with my wife who sometimes fulfills my anal proclivities with toys, and read gay stories here on Literotica, but straight stories and straight porn turns me on equally as well as does women’s bodies.
I consider myself bisexual, though I think I probably could have been exclusively gay had circumstances been just slightly different. Maybe if I’d been born in a different time, and perhaps to a different family, without wrath of God guilt and the "only son need to breed to carry on the family name” been so great.
So I guess that's my route to being "gay", or at least bisexual.
Nature? Nurture? You tell me. I still don’t know.
My first sexual activity (other than kissing) with another person was literally at the hands of my best male friend and developed into much more. Had it been the other way around, and had my first orgasm with another person been with a woman, would I have developed these feelings for men? What about the molestation? Did it teach me things I never should have known? What about the discovery of the gay porn magazines? Again, did they plant a seed? (Pardon the pun).
Was there a chemistry, an aura, a vibe that led my friend to believe I'd be receptive to his advances or was it just by chance or because he felt safe with me? Was I "anal erotic" from the start, or "homo erotic"? Did I always have a desire for men, or did it become the norm, and so frequent, just because once the ice was broken it was convenient and (for a time) easier than courting women?
I still don't know.
For starters, I'm bisexual, married twice with kids and grandkids, but I have no doubt that had the era, the attitudes, my family, or the environment in which I grew up been slightly different I could have been exclusively gay.
The old "nature vs nurture" argument, or "was I born this way or did youthful experiences make me this way," question has vexed me for my whole adult life.
For starters, let me say this, I was the victim of continuous molestation at the hands of a much older neighbor boy. That’s about all I’m going to say about that since I think that’s all I’m allowed to say about that here. Other than anonymously in a few forums, it’s a secret I’ve shared only with my oldest sister, my ex-wife, my current wife, and a therapist. My parents never knew.
In spite of that experience, and once it was thankfully over when my molester moved away, I never thought about such things till an older cousin let me read a sex novelette that he had stashed in his room. The book had stories of both heterosexual and homosexual sex but the one that stuck in my mind was one in which a bisexual character said that whenever he got anal desires, he “…let Chocco hang it up the ol’ bunghole”. Obviously, that phrase stuck with me since I still remember it.
Almost as soon as I became sexually aware, and began to masturbate, I took pleasure in stimulating my anus. At first it was just putting pressure on my perineum till I became brave enough to feel around my anus and eventually to stick a finger in. From then on, Vaseline and digital penetration became regular players in my masturbation.
Not long after, I happened to take a shower in my folks’ bathroom where my mom had left her douche bag hanging from the shower head. I didn’t think about it for but a second before I filled the bag, had the nozzle up my ass, and was taking an enema. I loved the sensation immediately. Knowing I couldn’t keep using hers, I concocted a plan to buy my own. I saved up money from various sources and went to the neighborhood drugstore (when we had such things) with a list as if it was from my mom. There I bought tampons, Vaseline, and a Faultless combination syringe. Who was going to question it? The young man was obviously sent with a list. Though very infrequently any more, I still take enemas for pleasure and as preparation to make sure I'm clean before anal play.
My first anal toy, other than a finger, was a spare hand grip bought for one of our motorcycles. It was perfect. I knew it was right the moment I saw it. It was narrower, but still probably 1-1/2 to 2 inches in diameter at the tip, widening a little in the middle, and narrower at the bottom where it had a flange that kept it from slipping all the way inside my ass. It was smooth on the outside so it could be kept clean and had kind of a spongy yet firm texture. It was accidentally designed like a butt plug before I think they even marketed butt plugs. It was my constant companion for masturbation, often in the shower after an enema. I also used it to retain enemas.
Somewhere in this timeline, some friends and I were exploring a cave in bluffs near our neighborhood when we came across a box of tattered porn magazines. No clue who put them there. Most were straight, but a few were gay. We looked at them, like any curious boys would, but with that particular group no one ever mentioned masturbating yet alone together. The others went, “Oooh, yuck,” when we got to the gay ones but I was more than a little intrigued. So intrigued in fact that I snuck out of the house after bedtime that night, went back to the cave by flashlight, and brought the whole contents of the box back with me in a backpack. On subsequent trips to the cave “we” figured that the owner must have figured out someone else was in the cave and took them somewhere else.
Also in this timeline, I discovered my oldest sisters stash of dildos and vibrators in a drawer in her room. Several were designed like large realistic penises and I’d sneak one out and masturbate with it in my ass whenever I had the chance. As some point I didn’t put everything back exactly right, she figured it out, and she told me to just keep it. We’ve always had, and still have, a special relationship to this day.
Thus, I masturbated with anal toys, and sometimes while looking at the gay porn mags we'd found in the cave. I always worried that my anal proclivities somehow made me homosexual (I don’t recall the term “gay” even being used then) but I dismissed it since I wasn’t doing it with anyone else….just myself.
From junior high school on my best friend was Wayne who is featured in my stories He didn’t live in my immediate neighborhood, so he wasn’t a “playmate” like other boys. We didn’t ride bikes together, or play sports together, but rather we shared more serious pursuits like music, literature, studying, watching or going to movies, swimming at each others houses, smoking pot, and as we got older even double dating with our girlfriends. I always felt different when around Wayne and, as it turned out, he felt different around me.
The first time anyone else touched my penis, in a sexual way, it was Wayne. As we had done many times before, I was at his house for a sleepover and we were taking turns showing each other licks on his drum set and smoking pot. His bedroom was dominated by a huge double bass drum set (a Ludwig Octaplus) with his bed consisting of a futon which he folded into a couch when not sleeping. After showing me some beats, he came over and sat next to me on the futon where we took a few hits off a joint.
We were talking, laughing, and just really into the company of each other (I can close my eyes and see his smile that day) when he said, “Do you beat off?”. I said, “Of course I do”, and he somewhat softly and meekly said, “Do want to beat off together,” and, as my heart leapt up into my throat, I said “Sure”.
So, there it was. We started off masturbating together, after weeks of doing only that we masturbated each other, which sometime later led to anal and then oral (though not immediately) and we never looked back till separate colleges and time and distance pulled us apart.
From that moment on, I knew I was “into guys”, well, at least into THAT guy, and ONLY that guy. Though I’ve had many women, including two wives, I’ve had only one gay partner since Wayne. I thought it was going to be more, but it ended up being a one-off experience and I was so burned that I never looked for another male sex partner.
I still watch gay porn often, even with my wife who sometimes fulfills my anal proclivities with toys, and read gay stories here on Literotica, but straight stories and straight porn turns me on equally as well as does women’s bodies.
I consider myself bisexual, though I think I probably could have been exclusively gay had circumstances been just slightly different. Maybe if I’d been born in a different time, and perhaps to a different family, without wrath of God guilt and the "only son need to breed to carry on the family name” been so great.
So I guess that's my route to being "gay", or at least bisexual.
Nature? Nurture? You tell me. I still don’t know.
My first sexual activity (other than kissing) with another person was literally at the hands of my best male friend and developed into much more. Had it been the other way around, and had my first orgasm with another person been with a woman, would I have developed these feelings for men? What about the molestation? Did it teach me things I never should have known? What about the discovery of the gay porn magazines? Again, did they plant a seed? (Pardon the pun).
Was there a chemistry, an aura, a vibe that led my friend to believe I'd be receptive to his advances or was it just by chance or because he felt safe with me? Was I "anal erotic" from the start, or "homo erotic"? Did I always have a desire for men, or did it become the norm, and so frequent, just because once the ice was broken it was convenient and (for a time) easier than courting women?
I still don't know.
Astroman72
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Thanks for sharing, UnderMyKilt.
Yeah, I'm a very self-analytical person in general, but I can't tell whether my own case is nature or nurture.
I always remember having strong romantic feelings for girls, and when I became sexually aware, that attraction progressed normally. It was so exciting to first see naked pussies in Penthouse and other magazines! But I distinctly remember one of the first magazines I saw (an older brother's) and I think it was Oui (anyone remember that one?). There was a man/woman spread in there, and as usual I loved seeing the woman naked--but then something else happened. Although they didn't show the guy's penis too clearly, what they did show really excited me. Then I would read the letters in Penthouse, and there would occasionally be gay or bi stories in there. Reading those was like "hey, guys can enjoy cocks, too!" I knew I loved the look and feel of my own, and it sure sounded awesome to feel and suck another guy's. And reading about anal sex, I started fingering myself when I masturbated, and wow, did that feel good!
And it's pretty much been the same for me ever since. I never really developed any emotional or romantic interest in men, and because that's important to me, I've never pursued gay sex. Although if the right situation to have sex with a guy had presented itself, I doubt I could have resisted.
Whether my desires are inherent or developed, I have no idea. I've largely decided to keep it in the realm of fantasy and be celibate in regards to gay sex---as it makes my life a lot less complicated.
Yeah, I'm a very self-analytical person in general, but I can't tell whether my own case is nature or nurture.
I always remember having strong romantic feelings for girls, and when I became sexually aware, that attraction progressed normally. It was so exciting to first see naked pussies in Penthouse and other magazines! But I distinctly remember one of the first magazines I saw (an older brother's) and I think it was Oui (anyone remember that one?). There was a man/woman spread in there, and as usual I loved seeing the woman naked--but then something else happened. Although they didn't show the guy's penis too clearly, what they did show really excited me. Then I would read the letters in Penthouse, and there would occasionally be gay or bi stories in there. Reading those was like "hey, guys can enjoy cocks, too!" I knew I loved the look and feel of my own, and it sure sounded awesome to feel and suck another guy's. And reading about anal sex, I started fingering myself when I masturbated, and wow, did that feel good!
And it's pretty much been the same for me ever since. I never really developed any emotional or romantic interest in men, and because that's important to me, I've never pursued gay sex. Although if the right situation to have sex with a guy had presented itself, I doubt I could have resisted.
Whether my desires are inherent or developed, I have no idea. I've largely decided to keep it in the realm of fantasy and be celibate in regards to gay sex---as it makes my life a lot less complicated.
Controlu69
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I would say I am more attracted to women, but a small part of me was attracted to other guys while younger. I didn't understand it and now I accept it, now I accept I am attracted to men. It doesn't matter to me that I find more women attractive, I know I want both.
It's my belief that humans are born naturally bisexual and our environment and cultural upbringing greatly influence which way we go from there. Today's society with it's greater acceptance of different sexual behaviors between consenting adults has brought more of us out into the open where before , we'd keep it all inside ourselves.
MatureSensualBottom
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- Apr 29, 2015
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I totally agree...I am now in a gay relationship and it feels so natural.
gunthernehmen
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Solidly Bi here with a tilt towards straight.
I love sex with men and women but don't have any romantic interest in men.
My first clue might have been watching porn through the years and finding myself gravitating more from vids of men going down on women to vids of women going down on men. Followed by vids of men going down on men.
At this point if there is at least one person involved doing something with a genital, I enjoy the vid. Actually that's not entirely true - production quality, something resembling a plot... a lot of current porn is just exercise.
My preferences have never really changed all that much. Mostly my understanding and acceptance of them. Most of that increased self awareness is from watching porn, interacting on sites such as this and a LOT of introspection.
The anti-fag theme of my generation and geographic region probably didn't help things much...
(That last line is a CRITICISM of the theme, not acceptance. If you were even thought for a moment to be gay or bi 40 years ago where I grew up, you were in for a bad time...)
I love sex with men and women but don't have any romantic interest in men.
My first clue might have been watching porn through the years and finding myself gravitating more from vids of men going down on women to vids of women going down on men. Followed by vids of men going down on men.
At this point if there is at least one person involved doing something with a genital, I enjoy the vid. Actually that's not entirely true - production quality, something resembling a plot... a lot of current porn is just exercise.
My preferences have never really changed all that much. Mostly my understanding and acceptance of them. Most of that increased self awareness is from watching porn, interacting on sites such as this and a LOT of introspection.
The anti-fag theme of my generation and geographic region probably didn't help things much...
(That last line is a CRITICISM of the theme, not acceptance. If you were even thought for a moment to be gay or bi 40 years ago where I grew up, you were in for a bad time...)
My route
My route started with a fellow school mate and me experimenting, touching, jerking off together, and eventually jerking each other off. I had no followup experiences until my professor took me on a camping trip, where he sucked me off and came in my face for the first of many times to follow. I always considered that my baptism. As I enjoy sex with both genders, I find it difficult to be content with just one
My route started with a fellow school mate and me experimenting, touching, jerking off together, and eventually jerking each other off. I had no followup experiences until my professor took me on a camping trip, where he sucked me off and came in my face for the first of many times to follow. I always considered that my baptism. As I enjoy sex with both genders, I find it difficult to be content with just one
Controlu69
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I am with you and agree.
Iwantitnowpleas
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Hell, I don't know what I am.
Started crossdressing at an early age but my sexual fantasies always envolved girls. I wanted to dress like them AND have sex with them. I had had several female lovers when I had my first time being attracted to a guy. I was 20 or 21 and he was probably a little younger. Gorgeous was my first thought. He was simply beautiful in a masculine and feminine way, I havn't met or seen really anyone like him since.
He was with a much older man and it was obvious they were in some type of a relationship. I managed to get his phone number (which wasn't exactly legal) and tried calling him but never got an answer.
From that day forward my fantasies changed. I wanted to JO thinking about fucking a girl but my thoughts would wander back to him and I would cum. Over the years as video porn became prevalent and easily accessed my fantasies centered around blowjobs more and more. At first I only wanted vids with beautiful girls that had fantastic bodies and yes the more I watched them the more I began to focus on the cocks. After a while I was picking videos on my attraction to the cock instead of the girl. Then it became shemales and CD's and now sissies.
I still love and become aroused to the sight of a beautiful woman, but it seems my arousal is my desire to look like her more than want sex with her. Few men excite me sexually but a nice hard cock.....really gets me going.
Did I arrive here because of porn? Maybe. I'll think about it some more later. Guess what I'm going to do now.
Started crossdressing at an early age but my sexual fantasies always envolved girls. I wanted to dress like them AND have sex with them. I had had several female lovers when I had my first time being attracted to a guy. I was 20 or 21 and he was probably a little younger. Gorgeous was my first thought. He was simply beautiful in a masculine and feminine way, I havn't met or seen really anyone like him since.
He was with a much older man and it was obvious they were in some type of a relationship. I managed to get his phone number (which wasn't exactly legal) and tried calling him but never got an answer.
From that day forward my fantasies changed. I wanted to JO thinking about fucking a girl but my thoughts would wander back to him and I would cum. Over the years as video porn became prevalent and easily accessed my fantasies centered around blowjobs more and more. At first I only wanted vids with beautiful girls that had fantastic bodies and yes the more I watched them the more I began to focus on the cocks. After a while I was picking videos on my attraction to the cock instead of the girl. Then it became shemales and CD's and now sissies.
I still love and become aroused to the sight of a beautiful woman, but it seems my arousal is my desire to look like her more than want sex with her. Few men excite me sexually but a nice hard cock.....really gets me going.
Did I arrive here because of porn? Maybe. I'll think about it some more later. Guess what I'm going to do now.
A very very bad time where I grew up.
