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Sober Kink

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bound4_fun

Experienced
Joined
Feb 20, 2007
Posts
90
Does anyone,or are we the only ones, that gets a little crazy stone sober. My wife doesn't party at all and I rarely do. We still manage to have a good time, but am wondering how others handle the situation.
 
I almost always engage in sober kink. I drink very rarely. I don't believe one needs to be inebriated to engage in kinky sex.
 
You're not alone. I don't drink much at any time, and I would be uncomfortable mixing BDSM and alcohol.
 
Personally, I don't mix alcohol during any type of kinky fun. It's a safety thing for me.
 
Have to agree with everyone above. I don't drink much anymore but buzzy sex was always good. Kink stuff, though? Nope. Sober, for sure.
 
Thank you!

Sorry it took me so long to respond. Summer is real busy!!!

I understand, but I think we are the exception. A little alcohol can provide an excuse for the limits being pushed. When you get up the next morning you have something to blame, not yourself, for utilizing the kitchen utensils in the bedroom:D

I'm/we are getting better, but it still seems like my significant other is afraid totally let her guard down.

Thank you again for advice and letting me know I'm "knot" alone.
 
Agreed, alcohol is contraindicated when getting your kink on!
Lots that could go wrong, so dulled senses bad.
 
I never ever was drunk. And I don't miss it.
The most I ever consumed is a bottle of light beer over the evening, eating lots of pizza and chips. Didn't feel one bit drunk after that. I dislike the taste of alcohol, and most I drink now is a glass of champaign at New Years.

And I don't like drunk people. The more drunk, the less I like them.

So yeah, I like sober. But it's not a kink - this should be a norm.
 
Last edited:
I much prefer sober play time. Drunken sex is great but thinking of safety, the more I have had to drink the more vanilla the sex. Safety is mainly my responsibility and I am not comfortable being drunk. As a result we drink less and play more !!
 
I enjoy having a glass of wine with a good meal or a cocktail once in awhile when hanging out with friends, or to wind down from a stressful day. Too much alcohol dulls the senses though. Kinda the opposite of the desired effect of heightening the senses during kinky sex...so, getting drunk and getting kinky just don't mix well for me. Sober sex is so much better in my opinion.
 
In my opinion sober sex is essential for the kink to be safe, sane and consensual.

You said, "I'm/we are getting better, but it still seems like my significant other is afraid totally let her guard down."

Alcohol is not the way to go to help your partner get more comfortable. Truly sharing your kink experiences and having open and honest discussions about what was good and not good about your kinky sex is the way to build trust and comfort.
 
DomPeter5 said:
Alcohol is not the way to go to help your partner get more comfortable. Truly sharing your kink experiences and having open and honest discussions about what was good and not good about your kinky sex is the way to build trust and comfort.
Click to expand...

I'm quoting DomPeter5 simply to reinforce his suggestion. Keeping alcohol out of the equation and keeping the lines of communication open and free flowing in both directions is the best way to help her relax and enjoy your kinks more freely. Be ready to invest the time that it'll take to build the trust and comfort levels as she sees that you're there to make the experience better and more enjoyable for her.

Always do the proper aftercare when your play has concluded as well. This shows her that you're going to be with her all the way through the experience and that you care about her well-being after the play has concluded, not just before or during.
 
I mix alcohol and kink. Frequently. But I do so moderately, with partners I know very well, and when engaging in low-risk activities in safe environments. Outside of those parameters, it's wise not to drink. There are people who will tell you that drinking and kinking should be a blanket no-no. That is their personal risk assessment to make.
 
I agree that having alcohol to blame for getting more kinky could ultimately backfire. I can understand how it is tempting since inhibitions are lowered, but you don't want to press too far when you're under the influence unless you've discussed doing that sober. Now that y'all have tried some stuff, try talking about it. You could bring it up along the lines it was fun while we had a few drinks, do you think it would be fun sober.

Personally, I don't know that I would want to mix the two much. I might be willing to try a few times after only a few drinks but only after it was carefully negotiated. I wouldn't want either person to push limits during that type of play. Sober, I love pushing my limits. It's one of my absolute favorite types of play.
 
I generally never have more than a glass or two, haven't been drunk for 15(+) years, and I never mix alcohol and fun activities.
 
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