The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

YoursSINSerely said:

and, the new girlfriend's arms are warm and cozy.

I put in bottle of 15 blue pills.

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Handley_Page said:

Ah - the Penicillin has arrived

I put in a glass of bedside teeth.

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SailorJerry said:

and you get a very crunchy rum n' coke.

I put in a a Mardi Gras parade in Rio !

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kimbalee said:

and you go broke buying beads to hand out to the cute girls who show you their wares.

I put in a lottery ticket and wish you luck in acquiring more cash to fund your Brazilian interests...

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SailorJerry said:

but a brazilian only costs $35 down the street !!!

I put in a man-zilian.

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kimbalee said:

and I am reminded of the scene in the 40 year old Virgin... "Kelly Clarkson!" lol

I put in a vat of soothing aloe for you to dive into, just in case...

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SailorJerry said:

and you get Luke Skywalker in a vat of medical gel.

I put in a genetic lab, for making multiple understudies for yule Brenner's The King and I

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Handley_Page said:

but someone has turned off the electricity.

I put in a working radiator.

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SailorJerry said:

and you get an unemployed alcoholic radiator that likes to blame everything on the government.

I put in an information sheet on 2011 marginal tax rates.

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Tio_Narratore said:

and you find that your 2011 income was "marginal."

I put in an erotic suggestion with attached phone number as a marginal notation in a library book...

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YoursSINSerely said:

and, you get a picture of Bab's house and phone number

I put in a big grin from the guy on the second floor.

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Handley_Page said:

but it is not "Uncle Charles" as you imagined or hoped.



I put in a conciliatory ice cream

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Tio_Narratore said:

and it comes back a combative milkshake.

I put in a Bailey's Sundae for Babs...

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Handley_Page said:

but she's late and it all melts. . . . .


I put in a plastic (advertising) version for appearances.

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Tio_Narratore said:

and it looks as phony as a blow-up doll.

I put in a lunch date with Babs...

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YoursSINSerely said:

and, we meet on the beach for a cocktail.

I put in a meyer lemon.

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SailorJerry said:

and you get a call from the FDA regarding complaints about genetically modified foods.

I put in an ant eater crossed with a giraffe.

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Tio_Narratore said:

and you get an aardvark that has no trouble with the 30-foot high termite mounds.

I put in a romantic cruise to the island of Dr. Moreau...

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SailorJerry said:

and you get a book by the same name, except it's spelled: The Prophet

I put in a copy of the New Testament, hollowed out, and with a mickey of Wild Turkey concealed inside for those longer sermons.

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Handley_Page said:

disguised as suitably religious liquid (like Communion wine).

I put in a 3-seat leather sofa.

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SailorJerry said:

but at WallMart, the same sofa is called a 2-seat leather sofa.

I put in a WallMart door greeter, in a sequinned evening gown and elbow length black satin gloves.

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Handley_Page said:

and hobnail boots

I put in a spare pair of laces for the boots

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SailorJerry said:

but your 'laces' are actually electrical 'zap straps'.

I put in a corn maze.

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Austin8 said:

and the "children"come rushing from the corn maze to greet you!

I put in a bloody scythe

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YoursSINSerely said:

And, it takes out the bleedy heart that finally grew in my yard.

I put in house plant called purple passion.

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