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funny sayings

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."


:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
 
Oblimo said:
If a thought ever entered her head it would perish from loneliness.
Click to expand...

And another, like unto it.

His speeches leave the impression of an army of pompous phrases moving over the landscape in search of an idea. Sometimes these meandering words would actually capture a struggling thought and bear it triumphantly a prisoner in their midst until it died of servitude and overwork. Senator William McAdoo, speaking of Warren Harding
 
Light a fire for a man and he will be warm for a night. Light a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Life is like a box of chocolates. It won't last long if you're fat.
 
bone251 said:
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
Click to expand...

Sounds like what Mark Twain once said: "I did not attend his funeral, but I sent the family a very nice letter saying that I approved of it."
 
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."



:):):):):):)
 
Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?


:cool::cool::cool::cool::cool::cool::cool:
 
I've been collecting Australian phrases I particularly like; possibly not funny but pithy:

* You can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter
* You don't know shit from clay
* Throw the dead cat on the table (meaning just lay out the facts)
* They banged like a dunny door in a cyclone (similar to the US version)
* That sticks out like a dog's balls
* (Over) charge them like a wounded bull
* That's like the floor of a cockie's cage (aka full of shit)
* How's your bum for grubs? (I think it means, how are you?)
* I'd rather a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
 
*comes back from the store w/ice cream to apologize for something I know nothing about - only to hear this*:

I KNOW it was you spying on me! I seen the car driving by a gazillion times.
 
"He was so ugly that when he was born, the doctor slapped his mother."
 
JerseyGirlDownUnder said:
I've been collecting Australian phrases I particularly like; possibly not funny but pithy:

* You can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter
* You don't know shit from clay
* Throw the dead cat on the table (meaning just lay out the facts)
* They banged like a dunny door in a cyclone (similar to the US version)
* That sticks out like a dog's balls
* (Over) charge them like a wounded bull
* That's like the floor of a cockie's cage (aka full of shit)
* How's your bum for grubs? (I think it means, how are you?)
* I'd rather a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
Click to expand...

May I suggest you follow Ozzy Man on Facebook he is full of these lines and much much more :)

https://www.facebook.com/viralmotion/videos/1719411174854989/
 
Last edited:
Some people understand.
Some people will understand if you explain.
Some need to whiz on the electric fence before they get it.


:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
 
Slicker than a harpooned hippo on a bananna tree.

That's slicker than snot and smashed bananas.



:cool::cool::cool::cool::cool::cool::cool:
 
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