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Mindfuck, ignoring?

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Slaveforagod

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Sep 7, 2016
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When an owner says he is mindfucking his new slave, but is essentially ignoring her for weeks while expecting rules and tasks to be followed daily, is he really mindfucking or is he just being a selfish asshole?

There has been no praise or discipline given. Nor discussion, or any type of communication. All attempts at communication by me have been ignored.

I've been reading conflicting info on this type of supposed training I'm being put through. Is the goal to humiliate and isolate, to break down and shatter the will of the slave?

What are your thoughts or experience with this?
I'm not interested in hearing advice of ending the relationship, I'm interested in the psychological aspect of this type of behavior, negative or not.
 
Slaveforagod said:
When an owner says he is mindfucking his new slave, but is essentially ignoring her for weeks while expecting rules and tasks to be followed daily, is he really mindfucking or is he just being a selfish asshole?

There has been no praise or discipline given. Nor discussion, or any type of communication. All attempts at communication by me have been ignored.

I've been reading conflicting info on this type of supposed training I'm being put through. Is the goal to humiliate and isolate, to break down and shatter the will of the slave?

What are your thoughts or experience with this?
I'm not interested in hearing advice of ending the relationship, I'm interested in the psychological aspect of this type of behavior, negative or not.
Click to expand...

For me, it doesn't matter what word you use to describe it. I wouldn't put up with that shit. I'd be moving on to someone who wants to give me attention.

You get to choose what you do and don't consent to in a relationship. If you have a partner implementing things in your dynamic without discussing it with you prior, you get to say no. That may mean they don't want to be with you, but if it's important enough to you, is that so bad?
 
Selfish asshole.

If you have not discussed what the goal is in advance, it's bullshit. You have a say in what happens to you.

If you're not getting feedback on "shattering the will of the slave" - it's cruel and thoughtless.

I'm on board with breaking you down to build you up kind of a thing. I view it more as mostly gently pulling you apart (with a few shocking mindfucks thrown in there) in to 1000 puzzle pieces and putting you back together in a different way. Why must you be shattered??? Broken??

I was in a 3 year M/s relationship that involved this. But he was caring and careful. He always, ALWAYS checked in. He wanted to climb inside my head and figure me out. Not ignore me. He tailored his mindfuckery to my responses. If I was going off the deep end or asking a zillion questions, he knew what the next move was to push me in the direction he wanted me to go.

It reeks of a lazy dominant. Especially ESPECIALLY with a new relationship. Just because it's owner/slave or whatever labels you slap on it, it's still a new relationship that requires feedback. Jesus. Even if it was just a thumbs up.

Slavery, ownership, 24/7, TPE - all that good, gooey (sometimes mythical) stuff takes time and trust. If you want to give yourself up to someone, someone who's going to "shatter your will", don't you kinda want to feel pretty secure he's looking after your best interest so you can serve him fully??
 
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The Lazy Dom's Guide to Mindfucking

Chapter 1.

Do Nothing.

Chapter 2.

Still Do Nothing. Feel smug.

Chapter 3.

Do Nothing. Sub leaves. Fill self with righteous indignation about the crappy quality of the subs you meet.

Chapter 4.

Repeat as necessary.
 
Slaveforagod said:
When an owner says he is mindfucking his new slave, but is essentially ignoring her for weeks while expecting rules and tasks to be followed daily, is he really mindfucking or is he just being a selfish asshole?

There has been no praise or discipline given. Nor discussion, or any type of communication. All attempts at communication by me have been ignored.

I've been reading conflicting info on this type of supposed training I'm being put through. Is the goal to humiliate and isolate, to break down and shatter the will of the slave?

What are your thoughts or experience with this?
I'm not interested in hearing advice of ending the relationship, I'm interested in the psychological aspect of this type of behavior, negative or not.
Click to expand...
I'm tired so, sorry if this is less comprehensive than I think it is.

Depends. Some people like the cold shoulder, some (Maybe most?) dislike it, but to each their own and whatever floats their boat. We don't know what he specifically gets out of it, other than it must be something he likes?

Read on for my know-nothing judgement of your pairing.

If I'm to take the way your situation has been presented at face value, it sounds like your partner has read a badly written piece of erotica by an emotionally illiterate urchin and is acting it out in reality without considering real-life implications of emotional neglect. And honestly, it sounds like he just picked you up as a 'quickie', then decided it wasn't worth the effort and cut ties. Happens a lot.

I don't know what his goal of it is or how seriously he's taking your partnership but that's kind of irrelevant to a bigger point: Now, I'm not saying you should end the relationship, I'm just saying that this is a prime example of bad relationship skill on both your parts (80% on his since he should really know better). Before embarking on any sort of emotional 'play' you should both really have discussed what it is each of you like and what you would get out of it.

There's no such thing as a healthy relationship wherein one partner dislikes the way they're being treated and BDSM is just really a bunch of various additions you can add to a relationship, it's not its own separate system and can't be completely one-sided without negotiation and be expected to work.
 
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Do you want to submit to someone who behaves that way?

Yes - keep doing what you're doing.
No - ignore him right back.

Personally, I don't see it as anything other than lazy. "I'm the masterblahblahblah! You're the slave! Here's this huge list of stuff I expect from you, and BTW I'll never do anything to even indicate I'm paying any attention you're following the rules, or that I feel committed to what I started. But if you don't, it's just a mindfuck. See how masterful I am?!? You're totally losing your shit with insecurity and worry and feeling inadequate! And I don't even have to DO ANYTHING, because MASTER!"

Translation:

I'm an idiot, with no social skills, who watched some porn and decided I'm like totally a master 'cause I like to emotionally abuse women and ghost them and shit... All those bitches into that fucked up BDSM stuff are messed up anyway... I bet my roommate $20 I could get one to do _____!
 
Obviously, you already feel that this has progressed beyond any sort of reasonable terms into gross negligence and even maliciousness, or you wouldn't have worded things the way you have. The psychology behind why someone would do this to another, oh well, possibly because they are an emotionally manipulative, egotistical, childish, callow, asshole?

After reading the rest of the posts, I think you have all the affirmation you need. Since you " aren't interested " in hearing anyone say that you should leave, I suppose your options are to either endure or confront him about it with some type of finality.



Or, if he doesn't want to talk, you could leave his lousy gold brickin' ass and find someone actually worth your time and devotion.
 
Your name is Slaveforagod. I don't know, what kind of "god" gives you a bunch of rules and then disappears, going completely silent and leaving you to wonder if he's still paying any attention to what you're doing at all? I mean, Jesus Christ! :eek:
 
Miles Long said:
Your name is Slaveforagod. I don't know, what kind of "god" gives you a bunch of rules and then disappears, going completely silent and leaving you to wonder if he's still paying any attention to what you're doing at all? I mean, Jesus Christ! :eek:
Click to expand...

*looks at you over my glasses*

I see what you did here. :heart:
 
Ignoring is a bullying tactic, and just my own personal opinion, holds very little place in the exchange of power between a PYL and 'pyl'.

I'm not saying that if both parties agree on it, it can't be used, because, Hell, if a couple can decide that cutting each other to shreds is within their kink boundaries, then the phycological sadism of ignoring the sub might very well be in play.
I can't imagine very many people actually enjoying being the receiving end of it, though. Of course, "punishment" is not supposed to be enjoyable, however, I'd add that it's also supposed to be corrective to a certain extent. Extended periods of absence or no contact from one's PYL can have severe consequences on not only the psyche of the 'pyl', but also create gaps in the trust bond that should be the foundation of any relationship, not just BDSM.

I don't think any of us can give the answer you seek. I know for me, that would be a hard limit. If I can't trust that you'll be there for me when I need you, my desire to correct any bad behavior for you goes away, as well. Ignoring me is the fastest way to piss me off.

You make time for those you care about. You don't ghost them and try to make them feel like they did something to deserve that kind of treatment.
 
Miles Long said:
Your name is Slaveforagod. I don't know, what kind of "god" gives you a bunch of rules and then disappears, going completely silent and leaving you to wonder if he's still paying any attention to what you're doing at all? I mean, Jesus Christ! :eek:
Click to expand...

*Standing Ovation*
 
Aphroditiac said:
The Lazy Dom's Guide to Mindfucking

Chapter 1.

Do Nothing.

Chapter 2.

Still Do Nothing. Feel smug.

Chapter 3.

Do Nothing. Sub leaves. Fill self with righteous indignation about the crappy quality of the subs you meet.

Chapter 4.

Repeat as necessary.
Click to expand...

Hey! Way to put our special times on blast. . .

I was GONNA call. Like just today. Or maybe tomorrow.

CutieMouse said:
Do you want to submit to someone who behaves that way?

Yes - keep doing what you're doing.
No - ignore him right back.

Personally, I don't see it as anything other than lazy. "I'm the masterblahblahblah! You're the slave! Here's this huge list of stuff I expect from you, and BTW I'll never do anything to even indicate I'm paying any attention you're following the rules, or that I feel committed to what I started. But if you don't, it's just a mindfuck. See how masterful I am?!? You're totally losing your shit with insecurity and worry and feeling inadequate! And I don't even have to DO ANYTHING, because MASTER!"

Translation:

I'm an idiot, with no social skills, who watched some porn and decided I'm like totally a master 'cause I like to emotionally abuse women and ghost them and shit... All those bitches into that fucked up BDSM stuff are messed up anyway... I bet my roommate $20 I could get one to do _____!
Click to expand...

I AM indignant. I would never fuck with Aphro over a lousy $20 bet!

. . .it's a hundred that I can get her to seduce Eyer.
 
Doesn't sound like a good dom to me, the ground rules should have been discussed before anything so extreme is done.

Personally, I think he just wanted a quick thrill.
 
Why is being a submissive synonymous with being a doormat who has no say in what is happening in their relationship??????

I don't care what the pyl title is, if it's not something you want or you agreed upon at the start of the relationship then tell them to FUCK OFF. No offensive action calls for a PYL to ignore their pyl. It's cruel, not an effective way to modify behavior, and LAZY. All it does it destroy trust and creates insecurities in the pyl. It's a scare tactic used by poser bullies who think a pyl is a pawn fuckdoll that shouldn't have a mind of their own.

You don't owe him anything, you're more than ego boosting fodder for some posturing wanker. :mad:
 
Personally as a sub I like feedback and praise that turns me on and spurs me. So if I don't get a reply I move on.

If a Dom has time constraints I respect those and ask for his availability so I know when he is free to reply.

Sam xx
 
I can see that as a punishment for a set length of time measured in hours it could be wffective but for as long as the op says seems just abusive unless it's what the sub wants
 
Que said:
Hey! Way to put our special times on blast. . .
I was GONNA call. Like just today. Or maybe tomorrow.


I AM indignant. I would never fuck with Aphro over a lousy $20 bet!

. . .it's a hundred that I can get her to seduce Eyer.
Click to expand...

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me maybe! Or not.

The only way I am going to seduce eyer is in a nun's habit while wearing a Donald Trump fright wig.
 
Aphroditiac said:
Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me maybe! Or not.

The only way I am going to seduce eyer is in a nun's habit while wearing a Donald Trump fright wig.
Click to expand...

*files that image away in the Spank Bank*
 
Aphroditiac said:
Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me maybe! Or not.

The only way I am going to seduce eyer is in a nun's habit while wearing a Donald Drumpf fright wig.
Click to expand...

Like Miles, I'm putting this away in my spank bank, but I imagine you a bit like this:

69808d9d995ea1d3daff6636b8c3b7b7.jpg
 
Fermina_Daza said:
Like Miles, I'm putting this away in my spank bank, but I imagine you a bit like this:

69808d9d995ea1d3daff6636b8c3b7b7.jpg
Click to expand...

^^^^^^

This year's Halloween costume. But my garters and stockings will be black, not white. I don't deserve to wear white. :(
 
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