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Old 07-02-2018, 09:33 AM   #1
Emirus
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Experienced BDSM editor needed

Iíve just had a story rejected and need the help of an editor experienced with BDSM and Non-Consent. I do NOT need the help of an editor whose qualifications revolve around punctuation, spelling or grammar. I do not need assistance in those areas.

The story revolves around a vile human being who runs all the crime in a medium sized Mississippi town. His first wife ran away, whilst pregnant, because of his abuse and in fear of her life. His second wife died after ďaccidentallyĒ falling down the stairs. His daughter grows up to be a freelance hitwoman for anyone who will hire her. Her father has fallen foul of some other, more powerful, gangsters who have ordered a hit on him. She takes the job. There is the obligatory sex scene, nothing to do with the main story, to illustrate her personality. She captures her father, who doesnít realise who she is until she reveals herself at the end of the story. She hires a dungeon and holds him captive there. Nothing happens in that setting that I havenít read in many other BDSM stories. At the end she naturally dispatches him to hell but not in a luridly detailed, violent or crude way.

A mainstream publisher would IMO accept this story without hesitation. The actual story is, in my unbiased opinion, well written with a well thought out plot. I need someone to help me amend it to a form acceptable without losing the essence or message of the story. Itís the first in a trilogy of stories on a timeline of five days. Al separate stories but with the same ďheroine.Ē Nobody dies in the other stories and everyone has a good time. If this story isnít published the other two stories are redundant.

The story is 8000 words and if you think you can help please contact me. It may well be is all I need is advice from a writer experienced with that kind of story.
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Old 07-02-2018, 10:09 AM   #2
electricblue66
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It might help if you mentioned which of the standard Lit rejection reasons you got, so potential editors know what the issues are.
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Old 07-02-2018, 05:23 PM   #3
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I can help with content and Lit standards. Email is in my profile. But you might have to wait a bit since I'm submitting more stories for the contest now, assuming you havent found anyone else.
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Old 07-02-2018, 05:27 PM   #4
Emirus
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Standard response.

manuscript

The usual snuff story, no enjoyment for the victim etc.

I think that if two people arenít murdered it will be ok. One of the victims doesnít have to die. If they live it wonít affect the story. The villain not dying will make the story suffer. However I already have a sequel and can cover why the villain didnít die. But I canít see a problem with the bdsm aspects. Perhaps an experienced writer will see it differently from me. Iíve tried to copy and paste the response but donít think itís worked.
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Hela is a professional assassin and amateur Domme; Paddy is a loveable Irish vampire; Tom is a grieving widower; Cherry is not a loveable transsexual hooker; David and Diana are a formidable married Domme team. A mixed bunch of characters by any standards.

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Old 07-20-2018, 01:42 PM   #5
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Lit does seem to have inconsistent guidelines on this. I had a submission rejected for the same reason (bdsm scene) even though it was completely consensual and both parties enjoyed it. I ended up resubmitting, asking for clarification, it got approved the second time without me changing anything.
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Old 07-20-2018, 07:49 PM   #6
electricblue66
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneRamsey View Post
Lit does seem to have inconsistent guidelines on this. I had a submission rejected for the same reason (bdsm scene) even though it was completely consensual and both parties enjoyed it. I ended up resubmitting, asking for clarification, it got approved the second time without me changing anything.
Not so much inconsistent guidelines as one person skim reading hundreds of submissions, and not always seeing the detail. Sometimes clarification is all that's required, or a simple tweak of the text.
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Old 07-24-2018, 01:47 AM   #7
Emirus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by electricblue66 View Post
Sometimes clarification is all that's required,.
Thatís what Iíve been thinking about recently. I think that Iíll submit an edit explaining that it wasnít a snuff story and the murderer didnít get any sexual arousal or satisfaction from avenging her mother, killing the man who abused his wife, her mother, and drove her to an early grave.

Changing the ending ruined the story. But after it had been rejected I wasnít going to put all that time and effort in the bin.
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My Story SUBMISSIONS

Hela is a professional assassin and amateur Domme; Paddy is a loveable Irish vampire; Tom is a grieving widower; Cherry is not a loveable transsexual hooker; David and Diana are a formidable married Domme team. A mixed bunch of characters by any standards.

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Old 07-24-2018, 06:35 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Emirus View Post
Changing the ending ruined the story. But after it had been rejected I wasnít going to put all that time and effort in the bin.
Emirus, mate, save yourself the grief next time. Write something warm and fluffy, and you won't have all these hassles .

(He says, currently writing something where there will be murder and vengeance - but zero connection to the sexual content, which is in other chapters.)
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Old 07-24-2018, 08:27 AM   #9
Emirus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by electricblue66 View Post
Emirus, mate, save yourself the grief next time. Write something warm and fluffy, and you won't have all these hassles )
Have you not read Paddy the Irish Vampire, EB? I think that it is a warm and fluffy piece, if you can write a warm and fluffy piece about a vampire. In fact one writer has suggested I write more about Paddy. Itís an interesting idea because he is loveable and it would make a nice change now and again.

https://www.literotica.com/s/paddy-the-irish-vampire


Murder and vengeance. Thatís what Retribution is all about. I look forward to reading your story, particularly when it gets past Laurel. Must be the way I kill Ďem.
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My Story SUBMISSIONS

Hela is a professional assassin and amateur Domme; Paddy is a loveable Irish vampire; Tom is a grieving widower; Cherry is not a loveable transsexual hooker; David and Diana are a formidable married Domme team. A mixed bunch of characters by any standards.

*************************************************

Last edited by Emirus : 07-24-2018 at 08:31 AM.
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