Am I being unrealistic??

I know you have stated that you have talked to him until you're blue in the face (from his point of view, perhaps you're talking AT him more than WITH him?). Have you straight up asked him why he doesn't want to have sex with you more often? What was his answer? As someone who has spent my whole life dating and have definitely had women that I just lost interest in sexually, it's very possible that this is the case. His having sex with you may just be an alternate form of physical release for him and he could give a hoot about your feelings (like masturbating with a toy vs just a hand). My opinion is that a 25 year old male is having sex and/or masturbating much more often than once a week. You aren't likely going to change his desire for you unless he wants to work through it because he loves you on an emotional level. If this is the case, he should be willing to tell you why, even if it might hurt you to hear it.
 
I know you have stated that you have talked to him until you're blue in the face (from his point of view, perhaps you're talking AT him more than WITH him?). Have you straight up asked him why he doesn't want to have sex with you more often? What was his answer? As someone who has spent my whole life dating and have definitely had women that I just lost interest in sexually, it's very possible that this is the case. His having sex with you may just be an alternate form of physical release for him and he could give a hoot about your feelings (like masturbating with a toy vs just a hand). My opinion is that a 25 year old male is having sex and/or masturbating much more often than once a week. You aren't likely going to change his desire for you unless he wants to work through it because he loves you on an emotional level. If this is the case, he should be willing to tell you why, even if it might hurt you to hear it.

Thank you. I understand I probablt bitch at him. lol Maybe I should take a step back and try to get clear of the cobwebs of sexual frustration. Give him some rules and give it time. It just seems like 4 years is an aweful long time....but since I love him I need patience.
 
Thank you. I understand I probablt bitch at him. lol Maybe I should take a step back and try to get clear of the cobwebs of sexual frustration. Give him some rules and give it time. It just seems like 4 years is an aweful long time....but since I love him I need patience.

Love can kill survival sweetie. He's put you on the streets once and didn't change. He is toxic to you. Just cut the cancer out and move on. Make some bad non long term choices and work through him. You're still young and you will heal and move on.
 
Thank you. I understand I probablt bitch at him. lol Maybe I should take a step back and try to get clear of the cobwebs of sexual frustration. Give him some rules and give it time. It just seems like 4 years is an aweful long time....but since I love him I need patience.

Just having him contribute to the household might make him feel empowered too. Maybe you should see if he's been looking. Otherwise, I agree that getting out sooner is probably ideal
 
Not unrealistic at all....something might be wrong with his health....or if hes always been like that time to upgrade....read Zooey Trades up in loving wives section....Lol
 
I fully understand...but this has been going on for 4 years....4. I've talked until I'm blue in the face. I don't want to just masturbate until I'm 90 and then die.
have you thought about masturbating in front of him, to get him turned on?
 
I'm 23 and feel like I'm totally neglected as a wife..... my husband at 25 literally dislikes sex....unless HE wants it...which is about once every 6 or 7 days. It's all hit it and quit it with him as he lasts about 5-10 minutes with no foreplay. Am I being unrealistic about wanting sex every couple days?? Is it wrong that when he askes to finger me because he doesn't want me to be in a bad mood I get offended??? Give me your stories and help me out here!!

It is exactly the other way round in my marriage... I'd love to do it twice a day, she thinks twice a month is enough...
 
Does he by any chance spend the whole day and most of the night playing video games? Or watching porn? Or both? Does he by any chance also have a rampant drug problem? Sex is the number one need in a man's life and that's especially so in a young man's life. When that suddenly disappears its being replaced by something. You've already described his lifestyle as abnormal and dysfunctional. Unfotrtunately you are allowing him to destroy you as well.
 
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