No Names!

Ever read a book where nobodies names are ever mentioned? I just want the first section read by someone else to see if it flows, or if conversations get confusing. I dont care about actual editing, just tell me if its easy to follow whats going on.

I've done it in short stories (short short stories), but I don't think it could be sustained in something of book length.

The thing is...

I thought that may be an issue, but doesnt seem to be causing as much fuss as I thought. I cant see it from reader view though cuz its my story lol. Mind takin a look?

sr71plt said:

I've done it in short stories (short short stories), but I don't think it could be sustained in something of book length.

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There is a classic porn flick (so over an hour long) named "Foxtrot" in which maybe only two of the characters are named. It's intentional. One of the unnamed characters stops one of the named characters from telling her anything about himself. She wants anonymous sex and produces the line, "That way it's just a foxtrot." As I recall, that dance worked out well for her.

So the movie is about anonymous sex. There are characters in the movie, a lot of foxtrotting, and very few names.

On the other hand, I beta read a short story (maybe more than one) where there were no names. I complained, because in context there was no evident reason NOT to name the characters. They weren't anonymous to each other. Naming them would have helped with the characterization and story-telling.

It raises a logistical problem in a same sex story. And, again, there's the problem of sustaining it in a book-length work.

Couple4funinAZ said:

I thought that may be an issue, but doesnt seem to be causing as much fuss as I thought. I cant see it from reader view though cuz its my story lol. Mind takin a look?

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Not unless your story is under 1,500 words, for the reason I've already given.

I've done it up to 2,000 words [Later: I've checked a few of my stories, and I've done it in stories here up to 4,000 words], I think--with what NotWise mentions--anonymous sex being a key element--being just that, a key element of the story.

I think I've only done it with first-person POV, in which it's easier not to give a name to the "I."

Character building:

Should happen naturally since its a true story, maybe I could just use titles or honorifics, and other forms of address. Would anybody care to take a look at what I have?

You're still not saying how many words it is. If it's truly a book, there probably won't be many with the time to give to look at it.

Sorry

Im at a little over 3000 words now.

Looking for honest, but not rude, critcism

INTRODUCTION:***

***** This is a true story, written namelessly to allow for some anonymity. There is no message or hidden agenda, political or otherwise. There is no moral to be learned. For some it will be only a story, and they will say, "It only says its a true story to get more readers" or some other such nonsense. For others it will be just entertainment and they won't care to know further. For some it will be the target of debate and criticism, for there are those that are unable to accept the fact that some people may enjoy, or even have an emotional, near spiritual need, for an alternative lifestyle.

****** If any of these people read my book, I will be happy to hear it. However, my hope is that this book reaches those that have similar needs to those of the people this story is written about. May they find some answers to the questions they ask only to themselves, and hopefully feel less alone, and more free because of it!

***** In closing, I would like to dedicate this book to my wife, who is quite literally the reason for its existence. Not only by being the subject, but also for her support and enthusiasm at my choice to write it. She is my everything, and without her I am nothing.

******************** --Mawk Train--



There she was, finally, after years of emotional upheaval and strain, unlocked. I always knew it was there in her, my delicate flower, my wife, my queen. Her strict religious upbringing had locked it away in some deep recess in her psyche, where all it did for her was to cause her feelings of guilt and self loathing. The beauty of the sight brought tears to my eyes.

Her big shiny brown eyes looked up at me with adoration, longing, and a fierce desire to please me. They occasionally blinked, causing her long sultry lashes to sway past the amazing light from her inner thoughts mirrored in her eyes, while her lips and tounge moved slowly but firmly, seemingly at random and yet with a sense of determined purpose, as she used them both on the shaft and head of my harder than ever before cock. Her movements were hypnotic enough, but the sheer lustful energy coming at me from her sent me over the edge....

* We will come back to this, I promise, but lets start at the beginning..... It was over 10 years ago......



Edited by Mod to follow forum guidelines

Couple4funinAZ said:

INTRODUCTION:***

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ETA: Post edited

Please just delete it. I will look elsewhere

Would do it myself

But dont know how and wont be around long enough to find out.

I scanned it (although Lynn is right. It's against the rules to post something that long; the Web site retains the right to decide what meets its content criteria and this is bypassing their right to do so).

I'd quickly become bored but I'm sure there are readers who would be fine with it. Technically--grammar, spelling, punctuation--it's a mess, which is one reason I wouldn't slog through it. There isn't a problem with "no names" to this point, I don't think, but there also is very little dialogue. I don't see how you will sustain "no names" without it becoming intrusive and belabored when you get into using more dialogue, and it you don't get into using more dialogue, you're going to tire readers out and irritate them and they'll leave the read. I honestly don't see the whole "true story" need. I'd jazz it up into "fact-based fiction" and drop the idea of no names. If you think that the "it's true" element is of great importance to readers here, I think you're wrong--and that most of them wouldn't believe it anyway.