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Physcology of spouse sharing

Swgopro

Swgopro

Literotica Guru
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Psychology of spouse sharing

Has anyone ever thought deeply about what lies beneath the desire to share your spouse? I've always had the fantasy of her being with another guy, but knew there was a 0.000001% chance that it would ever happen. Now we are having these great experiences on Lit and while I can't say what percentage we are at now, but it is much more likely now. I just have always wondered where these feelings came from. I don't want the traditional cuck relationship where I'm demeaned. I don't want her to be treated badly either. I want another guy to love her and her body the same way that I do...with respect and deep passion. Does anyone else have thoughts on where these feelings come from it would care to relate their experiences with spouse sharing in a loving relationship?
 
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Well since this generally seems to be more prevalent in males then females... I think that part of the appeal is that most men secretly or openly want their women to be "sluts". They get off on the fact that she is so sexually appealing and that she is such a sexual being. It might make sense and seem that it's a no-brainer that they must be sexually attracted to sexual beings. Most men also generally like it when their women are happy.
 
DudeA said:
Well since this generally seems to be more prevalent in males then females... I think that part of the appeal is that most men secretly or openly want their women to be "sluts". They get off on the fact that she is so sexually appealing and that she is such a sexual being. Most men also generally like it when their women are happy.
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See I think I'm weird that I won't use the word "slut" (with all of its negative connotations) to describe what I want for her and us. I will say that I want her to be happy. She is completely satisfied with our sex life, but if someone else could bring her to a different level of happiness, who am I to stop her.
 
I would say it's about the confirmation that yes your wife is a sexy and appealing woman, as well as wanting her to be able to satisfy all of her desires. Accepting that some of those desires can't be satisfied by ourselves is the hard part
 
For me its watching her, know what the guy is feeling as he fucks her. Watching her body and listening to her, knowing when he is making her cum.
 
DudeA said:
Well since this generally seems to be more prevalent in males then females... I think that part of the appeal is that most men secretly or openly want their women to be "sluts". They get off on the fact that she is so sexually appealing and that she is such a sexual being. It might make sense and seem that it's a no-brainer that they must be sexually attracted to sexual beings. Most men also generally like it when their women are happy.
Click to expand...

I agree with this mostly... and don't get too caught up in the semantics of the word "slut..." I think a lot of guys envision their wife with other guys as part of their wife becoming more open sexually or "slutty"

Also, I'm not sure any of us know if our significant other is "completely satisfied" with our sex life as the original poster claims. That's a nice thought and while I'm sure your wife (and many others) are content and even happy with their sex life, to believe they are "completely satisfied" would probably be a little optimistic. I mean, who among us husbands are "completely satisfied" with our sex life? If we were, we wouldn't be talking about sharing our wives I'm guessing...

Anyway, back to me, I think the idea of sharing my wife is born out of the fact that she didn't have many partners before me and claims none of them were all that good. I was fortunate enough to have been a little more sexually experienced and I do want that for her. I'm not sure if she really wants or needs it but sometimes I feel like she MUST, ya know?
 
Agree with all the above - sexualising your spouse to the point where she actually fuckd other men is hugely erotic, a confirmation if you like that you have a very sexy lady. My fiance is beautiful, 5'3, petite, slim, body to die for - I want her to be empowered by that, to enjoy it, and to have other men enjoy her in the process.

To that I would add the voyeuristic aspect - stepping back and being able to watch how sexy and hot your partner looks as she has sex - and the phenomenon of sperm competition. I've read a school of thought that human females evolved biologically to mate with multiple males, increasing the 'pool' of sperm/genes to be fertilised by, and increasing the chances of getting strong, healthy genes for their offspring. The flip side of this would be that males actually get more aroused seeing a female fucking - if they get the chance to mate with her, they cum even harder, ejaculate more sperm, thus increasing the chances of their genes being passed on.
 
I have been involved in several relationships that were non-exclusive but only one that would be called cuckolding.

For me, what was exciting was the novelty. Everyone wants to move beyond plain vanilla sex and this was my opportunity. What actually happened was that an old lover of my wife would be in town and she asked me and she told me she wanted to meet him and fuck him.

I felt like I should have told her "no," but I felt excited by the idea of doing such a thing that I had never done before. And I felt involved from the start. When she told me, it was a week or so before he was due in town and we talked about little else before then. And when the big day came, I help her pack for a weekend with him in his hotel suite. She took the clothes I chose for her and that would excite me the most thinking about her wearing them when he fucked her.

So my motivation for the cuckolding was sheer novelty and excitement which increased when she came home and I reclaimed her almost immediately. The tension during the weekend was also great, thinking of her with another cock inside her.

jf
 
Last couple of years of our marriage things headed in that direction. Note I am divorced.
 
live4thebj said:
Last couple of years of our marriage things headed in that direction. Note I am divorced.
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I ended up divorced from the wife that I described in my post above. But does that really matter.

And I have tried other polyamorous relationships since -- much fun
 
Interesting thread. I never understood why a man would want his wife to have sex with another guy unless he was bi and also interested in another guy. While I expect the dynamics could get quite tricky for a relationship, I can see where it could spice up a relationship. Lets face it we all thing about having sex with someone different. Maybe someone from the past or someone that just happen to catch our fancy. Most do not even consider acting on the impulse but the thoughts are there even for us older ladies.
 
HesterP said:
Interesting thread. I never understood why a man would want his wife to have sex with another guy unless he was bi and also interested in another guy. While I expect the dynamics could get quite tricky for a relationship, I can see where it could spice up a relationship. Lets face it we all thing about having sex with someone different. Maybe someone from the past or someone that just happen to catch our fancy. Most do not even consider acting on the impulse but the thoughts are there even for us older ladies.
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I don't think it is because of latent homosexuality. In the case I cite above, I never met the guy or knew what he looked like.

Spicing up the relationship has a lot to do with it, but the partners need to avoid jealousy. This is not always easy
 
I can see lots of pitfalls. In general men are pretty good at just having sex without commitment but I think most women tend to get more emotionally involved with a lover. I would think this is a big issue if the wife goes off on her own with a guy. Maybe just have the wife work as an escort. That way she gets the experience and makes some money as well. LOL
 
HesterP said:
I can see lots of pitfalls. In general men are pretty good at just having sex without commitment but I think most women tend to get more emotionally involved with a lover. I would think this is a big issue if the wife goes off on her own with a guy. Maybe just have the wife work as an escort. That way she gets the experience and makes some money as well. LOL
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Agree. For a brief period I had a brief polyamorous relationship with two women. That is to say they slept with men other than me. It ended because one of the women -- the one who had sung the praises of polyamory -- didn't want me to continue my relationship with the other woman
 
That is the problem, For a woman it is hard to just have sex without getting emotionally involved. I would think simple swapping would be safer. Both are participating and the women is less likely to think of it as a date with a boyfriend.
 
HesterP said:
That is the problem, For a woman it is hard to just have sex without getting emotionally involved. I would think simple swapping would be safer. Both are participating and the women is less likely to think of it as a date with a boyfriend.
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It seems likely you are correcting. However, on the couple of times I have proposed actual swapping or threesomes with my lover's lover I have been soundly rejected. I will most probably be confined to parallel relationships for the rest of my life.

Boo hoo
 
It is not for everyone. I might consider a swap but would have no interest in group play. At least you are getting some. Most of the men on here complain about never getting laid.
 
HesterP said:
It is not for everyone. I might consider a swap but would have no interest in group play. At least you are getting some. Most of the men on here complain about never getting laid.
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I am not complaining at all. Just being sardonic. I hate whiny men.
 
Um, well not all men are into this mind you... in fact it's probably only a fairly small percentage who are into this. I think the idea can be somewhat intriguing, but personally I wouldn't be into sharing my partner. But there are also some women who want to be shared with many other men.
 
All really great thoughts on the subject. It is obvious that there is no one answer for everyone. I think that for me it falls to a combination of a couple of aspects that play off of each other. I live to see Mrs. S happy. That doesn't have to be sexual. It could just be from a good home cooked meal. I also know how much she loves sex. As someone corrected me, I can't say that she is "completely" sexually satisfied, but I know she is very happy with what we have together in the bedroom. I want her to experience every bit of joy that she can. And I also know that she had basically no sexual history before me. She has never expressed a belief that she missed out on anything, but I believe that she would enjoy doing the things that she had never done in her youth.

I appreciate the thoughts that everyone has provided. Keep them coming. I don't feel the least bit bad about my feelings and what Mrs. S and I are experiencing, I just long for understanding.
 
My wife

I feel my desire for my wife to have sex with another man stems from the fact she already did it. She spread her legs in a cheating situation. At first I was pissed. But soon after I found myself aroused by her brief affair. Now I want her to do it again. This time with my blessing.
 
I almost got into this kind of situation with my crazy ex-fiancee. At the time, I was buying her rationalizations for her weird, fucked up behavior in our relationship that she had low self-esteem and a bad childhood. So I thought opening up the relationship might make it "safer" for her to stop lying to me.

And--yeah--that's not how narcissistic shitbags work. They'll lie to you even when the truth would serve them better because they get off on it. They get off on manipulating and hurting you.

I came away from that relationship with the solid idea that it doesn't matter if she tells you she loves you all the time and the sex is great. If you find yourself really tempted to play "detective" when it comes to her, cut that crazy, manipulative bitch out of your life and run.
 
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