TS/TG Ladies

Bramblethorn said:

Speaking of Caitlyn Jenner, some of you might appreciate this: http://www.buzzfeed.com/anjalipatel...-jenner-by-h?bftw&utm_term=4ldqpfp#.oex2M5Yge

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Ha! Almost makes me want to buy an iPhone... meh... maybe not yet.
That reminds me of a silly student game I played: when you text a msg to a landline, then when the person picks up, they get an automated reading of the message. The things you can make her say!! ok, childish but faf when you're drunk

stickygirl said:

transgender, which is the term ^^^ we trans women suggest you use

*waves back*

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Does this terminology debate stuff not p*** you off? Seems like a neverending story to the uninitiated like me. After all "People are people" according to Depeche Mode. To be constantly defined by one aspect of your life (albeit a significant one) has got to be a drag and must seem to negate or overpower other personal qualities.

I'm not saying it compares in significance, but I'm betting there are parallels or resonance here: I can be in a group of people and conversation can be quite ordinary/normal, but if it's a meal situation and it becomes known I'm a vegetarian, it's like someone discovered I'm an extraterrestial. Gone are the discussions of the socioeconomic implications of a majority Tory government for the next five years. Noooo, suddenly its all about what I don't eat and how much they love meat. The personal choice of mine to not eat meat has brought the group's collective IQ down to SEN levels. FFS! This then results in exchanges such as " Ah luv meat me! why dernt yer eat meat?" In reply I say "Oh I do it so the stupid people have something to talk about". Cue puzzled looks as they try to figure out the intelligent response.

Sorry rant over. I promised myself I wouldn't post after my second glass of wine since having a post removed for rudeness, mea culpa...

Back to topic: Transgender might be fine when written down but it's going to sound quite stiff & formal in a conversational situation, would you be offended by teegee? Sounds a bit more relaxed to my ears. Having said that, if I ever met a transgender girl I hope I'd be sufficiently well mannered to avoid cliched comments and the well documented conversational faux pas.

When to mention

Yea - I've heard the vegetarian put-downs too. They remind me of the lesbian 'oh, you've not met the right man yet'
Discussions like this drag on with everyone ( except those with a vested interest ) offering alternative suggestions!! grrrr
OK, put it like this. If I'm in a bar and scoring with a guy, then at some point I might feel it's a good time to mention that I'm trans. If it's a quiet bar and he seems a bright 21st century type, then I might just say "trans" but in a noisy place I'd probably say "transgender" which is more easily understood.

And since I've raised the topic and the OP has vanished, when is a good time to tell a potential b/f or g/f that you're trans? What do you all think? What's the experience of other trans women here?

generally she/her

stickygirl said:

Yea - I've heard the vegetarian put-downs too. They remind me of the lesbian 'oh, you've not met the right man yet'
Discussions like this drag on with everyone ( except those with a vested interest ) offering alternative suggestions!! grrrr
OK, put it like this. If I'm in a bar and scoring with a guy, then at some point I might feel it's a good time to mention that I'm trans. If it's a quiet bar and he seems a bright 21st century type, then I might just say "trans" but in a noisy place I'd probably say "transgender" which is more easily understood.

And since I've raised the topic and the OP has vanished, when is a good time to tell a potential b/f or g/f that you're trans? What do you all think? What's the experience of other trans women here?

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~reminds me of a time many yrs ago when i was passing thru peoria, i think.
Went into a rough bar not far from my motel.
A very tall pretty girl asked me to dance. After the dance, i went back to the bar where a couple of local idiots were laughing at me.
They said, "didn't you notice his bulge?"
No, only that she was beautiful, a lovely dancer, and her hand felt right in mine.

stickygirl said:

Ha! Almost makes me want to buy an iPhone... meh... maybe not yet.

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I scored a free one a few weeks back - relative was eligible for one with his phone contract renewal but didn't want it, so he passed it on to me.

VanessaTG said:

I am pretty sure that the crossdressers.com forum isn't as representative a sample of "the community" for purposes of terminology.

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Oh, I quite agree. I got the impression the people there were overall less progressive about terminology than those here. My point was that there are differences in the terms people use/prefer so it's impossible to make a blanket statement about what's 'best'. I guess it just goes to show that, if you don't know, ask the person what terms they prefer.

Messier82 said:

Does this terminology debate stuff not p*** you off? Seems like a neverending story to the uninitiated like me.

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I think humans in general like to be able to label and categorize things (and other people). It's convenient to put them in boxes because it simplifies the world, and at the same time enables you to generalize everything else about them based on your particular stereotypes. People do it to themselves as well in the process of self-knowing/self-identification, a means to understand where you fit/belong in the world - look at all the "Am I gay?" or "Am I bi?" threads here. It's a sort of mental shorthand to avoid the effort needed to treat each individual as unique.

Messier82 said:

To be constantly defined by one aspect of your life (albeit a significant one) has got to be a drag and must seem to negate or overpower other personal qualities.

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No doubt it is. I'm sure most black people in the West (especially America) would have something to say about this.

a transsexual is someone with a cock and breasts, a transgender is someone who was one sex and has completely changed to the other sex

I find it easier & polite to ask them what they prefer to be called.

royalhuntsman said:

a transsexual is someone with a cock and breasts, a transgender is someone who was one sex and has completely changed to the other sex

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uhhm, sorry no. Not even close

Prince Albert said:

I find it easier & polite to ask them what they prefer to be called.

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Yes, best is to imply what pronoun a person prefers by introducing yourself and your own pronoun preference. I prefer she/her/hers.

Generally if someone is obviously male or female, or presenting clearly as male or female, it can be safe to assume pronouns. The obvious difficulty arises when someone is androgynous or presenting as both/neither/somewhere-in-between. In that case, just asking for a name is sufficient. Gender is non-binary and some people present multiple gender identities or none or somewhere in between. Some people are sensitive about it, some not so much. I have never been mistaken as a man when I present as a woman, however, I have been mistaken as a woman (and a girl when younger) when I presented as a "man." It never bothered me, indeed I always took it as a compliment.
Chrissi

royalhuntsman said:

a transsexual is someone with a cock and breasts, a transgender is someone who was one sex and has completely changed to the other sex

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you lurked for four years and then your first post is this??? on a thread where others already explained the terms???

royalhuntsman said:

a transsexual is someone with a cock and breasts, a transgender is someone who was one sex and has completely changed to the other sex

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Another vote for "nope".

gayTopher said:

however, I have been mistaken as a woman (and a girl when younger) when I presented as a "man." It never bothered me, indeed I always took it as a compliment.
Chrissi

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Not that unusual really. I'd class myself as a regular (mostly) hetero guy, but because throughout my life I've often had long-ish hair (by male standards), and mostly lived in overtly masculine northern towns, there's been many occasions when, at first glance, other males assumed I might be female. Once I got into my thirties it happened less and less.
It never bothered me too much, I guess I didn't feel conflicted about my sexuality and just assumed it said more about those guys than it did me

There's a mildly amusing tale about something that happened one day when I was cycling to work if anyone is interested.

divacarolina said:

you lurked for four years and then your first post is this??? on a thread where others already explained the terms???

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It's a very, very patient troll Or one with a time machine. Damn! I bet it's that last one.

the term shemale is thought of as offensive today. i think its mostly used to describe porn stars.