Valentine's Villanelle Challenge
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AlwaysHungry
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#16, "On this frigid night", is by Honey Adored.
"owlets to follow" -- awesome.
"owlets to follow" -- awesome.
Magnetron
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#17 is fabulous, never missing a beat, flows flawlessly. The word parabolae being so uncommon is cause for a bit of hesitation, but it is easily dismissed by the already established rhyme scheme.
And I just realized I'm in the wrong fucking thread.
And I just realized I'm in the wrong fucking thread.
AlwaysHungry
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There are two other websites upon which I am totally dependent for attempting to write poetry:
http://www.thesaurus.com/
http://www.rhymezone.com/
Between the two of them, I can often find a word that I like that means the right thing and rhymes.
http://www.thesaurus.com/
http://www.rhymezone.com/
Between the two of them, I can often find a word that I like that means the right thing and rhymes.
Angeline
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HarryHill
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Trixareforkids
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LOL, that's been pretty much my only reference and sparingly used as it doesn't feel authentic to me to use words my own brain can't come up with. But since my memory ain't what it used to be I've begun using it more and more as an aide de memoire
Piscator
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If writing in Word Thesaurus is also accessible as SHIFT F7
And Rhymezone is good too.
Another useful tip for working in any of these rhyme schemes, especially the repetitive ones, is never end a key line with orange.
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legerdemer
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Turns out I did not know of rhymezone till AH pointed it out to me some months ago. Goes to show what a newbie I am.
These days, Googling synonyms and definitions is routine for me. I'm like Trix regarding memory - and I lose words on the tip of my tongue more and more frequently. My tongue must be getting bigger....
These days, Googling synonyms and definitions is routine for me. I'm like Trix regarding memory - and I lose words on the tip of my tongue more and more frequently. My tongue must be getting bigger....
legerdemer
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I agree it's fabulous, except for a minor quibble...I am getting tripped up on the "not" in the stanza below - probably because of the way I pronounce "real" - in my case, I pronounce it nearly as two syllables. If I pronounce it as one - like reel - the line flows much more smoothly.
A real heart knows not symmetry,
But true hearts always do, defined
By contours that I long to see.
I was toying with the following modification, though it doesn't quite mean the same thing, and still benefits from the "reel" pronunciation.
A real heart knows no symmetry,
But true hearts always do, defined
By contours that I long to see.
And now that I've gotten all that babbling out, I think this one really has AH's fingerprints all over it. And since he demands perfection, I get to air my (dirty) quibbles in public. LOL
legerdemer
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I love it as well. And agree owlets tend to signal Honey sightings.
Magnetron
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I agree it's fabulous, except for a minor quibble...I am getting tripped up on the "not" in the stanza below - probably because of the way I pronounce "real" - in my case, I pronounce it nearly as two syllables. If I pronounce it as one - like reel - the line flows much more smoothly.
A real heart knows not symmetry,
But true hearts always do, defined
By contours that I long to see.
I was toying with the following modification, though it doesn't quite mean the same thing, and still benefits from the "reel" pronunciation.
A real heart knows no symmetry,
But true hearts always do, defined
By contours that I long to see.
And now that I've gotten all that babbling out, I think this one really has AH's fingerprints all over it. And since he demands perfection, I get to air my (dirty) quibbles in public. LOL
I also find the subject material fapulous.
That's right, Folks - I just made up a new word.
Stick that in your Thesaurus.
Trixareforkids
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Lmao, I'll add that to my copy and since it goes so well with my own flabulous, I may have to use both in a piece
HarryHill
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..Lmao, I'll add that to my copy and since it goes so well with my own flabulous, I may have to use both in a piece
Oh, there's another, Jabberwocky or Alice in wonderland "frabjurious" it think
legerdemer
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Methinks someone is pulling someone else's leg with #19. -> actually #18
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AlwaysHungry
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Methinks someone is pulling someone else's leg with #19.
I can't seem to find #19.
butters
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that word nether is a pet hate of mine, too, but it's a personal thing... it's not out of sync/rhyme with what is an extremely well-executed write. the line breaks are well-chosen, the refrains blend seamlessly without that poke-in-the-eye of repetition for form's sake, and i love how the eye is drawn down through the read, stanza to stanza. whoever wrote this is technically polished with a superior ear.
ffs, did i really just type that? yes, yes i did. sounds pompous but i mean what i said. read it in a donald duck voice if it helps
AlwaysHungry
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hehe ok my uneducated guesses
poem 1 chamie or tzara
I'm going with Tzara on that one. It shows skill and ingenuity.
legerdemer
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AlwaysHungry
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I re-read all the poems tonight, and this one stands out. It is actually quite successful in following the Villanelle form. Whoever wrote this poem is technically quite sophisticated, in addition to being witty.
Magnetron
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Witty, perhaps.
I just took my own advice by rewriting someone else's Villanelle until there was absolutely no semblance to the original other than the existing rhyme scheme. My lines are longer in comparison, even after numerous edits. And then came the line shufflings.
I can't even remember the original or who wrote it. Something about a house on a hill that I found quite depressing.
Now, if I ever want to write another Villa, I can utilize the same process using Rabbits as the skeleton.
Although Dingleberries is far superior because it can be rapped.
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Piscator
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Agreed, going back to the oral tradition from which the formis assumed to ahve originated.
AlwaysHungry
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Congratulations, then, because it worked. Writing poetry in classical forms is a problem similar to writing music in classical forms, which has died out almost entirely -- people don't know how to do it now. It's another of my OCD passions.
Johannes Brahms, one of my heroes, was such a curmudgeon that he only had one composition student. One of the exercises he made his pupil do was exactly what you did with your poem: he made his pupil take a piano sonata by Mozart, and copy the structure exactly, only plugging in his own ideas. I tried it myself -- I had the eerie sensation of looking at the world through Mozart's eyes (or ears.) It was very, very educational.
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