Ask a MtF TG a question

stickygirl said:

Oooo good questions Brad!

Hmm...*thinks* I think I noticed more changes when I started my hormone therapy: so yea, my sense of smell improved along with emotional changes, along with the subtle physical ones, like my hair getting thicker and my skin getting much softer But have my tastes changed as a result of surgery... nah... if I think of something I'll come back to you. My male hormone levels were the same as a cis-gender woman beforehand anyway.
Good thing is that I now take fewer pills: no spiro and only half the dose of estradiol. Maybe I get drunk quicker? But haven't drunk much since I left Uni.
I do have a craving for meat on the bone but nothing new there

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Thanks!

A MtF TG and former Navy Seal from around my home town is running for Congress. Here's the story. The comments are all from Neanderthals. Just WTF is wrong with people?

On being human...

I had a lovely moment with a MtF person in a thrift store a few weeks ago. She was young and tall and had a shock of brightly colored hair, but was otherwise very reserved and appeared to be somewhat weary from living in our conservative region of the American Southwest. We were both rummaging through the same large table of unsorted clothes.

After earnestly working through the pile of garments for several minutes, making it clear that both of us were interested in finding some good bargains, and setting aside some potential buys, I started holding several work shirts against my shoulders to see how they might fit. She then bridged the social gap between us by giving me a little feedback on a color that might compliment my silvery hair. Similarly, I told her that some of the colors she had chosen would brighten up the world a little bit.

She smiled very slightly while intently smoothing out the wrinkles on a sleeveless blouse she had spread out on the corner of the large table, and then she looked up at me briefly with glistening eyes.

Oh, to live in a world without so many rigid boundaries.

coati said:

I had a lovely moment with a MtF person in a thrift store a few weeks ago. She was young and tall and had a shock of brightly colored hair, but was otherwise very reserved and appeared to be somewhat weary from living in our conservative region of the American Southwest. We were both rummaging through the same large table of unsorted clothes.

After earnestly working through the pile of garments for several minutes, making it clear that both of us were interested in finding some good bargains, and setting aside some potential buys, I started holding several work shirts against my shoulders to see how they might fit. She then bridged the social gap between us by giving me a little feedback on a color that might compliment my silvery hair. Similarly, I told her that some of the colors she had chosen would brighten up the world a little bit.

She smiled very slightly while intently smoothing out the wrinkles on a sleeveless blouse she had spread out on the corner of the large table, and then she looked up at me briefly with glistening eyes.

Oh, to live in a world without so many rigid boundaries.

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That would tear me apart. I do hope she did not walk away without knowing she had a friend. One of those damned why did I not do more moments.

I believe we are on this earth to friend other soul who are searching

coati said:

I had a lovely moment with a MtF person in a thrift store a few weeks ago.....
... and then she looked up at me briefly with glistening eyes.

Oh, to live in a world without so many rigid boundaries.

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A "friend" of mine freaked out today when he learned that he had been flirting with a "lady boy" online.

So what? Maybe it's just me, but I don't see the problem.

coati said:

I had a lovely moment with a MtF person in a thrift store a few weeks ago. She was young and tall and had a shock of brightly colored hair, but was otherwise very reserved and appeared to be somewhat weary from living in our conservative region of the American Southwest. We were both rummaging through the same large table of unsorted clothes.

After earnestly working through the pile of garments for several minutes, making it clear that both of us were interested in finding some good bargains, and setting aside some potential buys, I started holding several work shirts against my shoulders to see how they might fit. She then bridged the social gap between us by giving me a little feedback on a color that might compliment my silvery hair. Similarly, I told her that some of the colors she had chosen would brighten up the world a little bit.

She smiled very slightly while intently smoothing out the wrinkles on a sleeveless blouse she had spread out on the corner of the large table, and then she looked up at me briefly with glistening eyes.

Oh, to live in a world without so many rigid boundaries.

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Good for you. Hope that she realized that you just saw her as a person.

SEVERUSMAX said:

Hope that she realized that you just saw her as a person.

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I think that's exactly why we felt that sudden and unexpected wave of emotion, at the time. Trans people tend to get treated like freaks in so many communities. It could be that she had been having an especially rough day. An off-the-cuff remark about her colors brightening up the world a little bit carried far more meaning than I anticipated.

BTW, the thing that reminded me of this encounter was Haurni's cartoon submission (Living as trans).

Personal Life update
I now have a job, back in my old Uni town and am living in a student hall of residence (beggars can't be choosers). However, good news is, that I can move back to my old 'second home' after the Easter break, as that room is coming vacant Things looking up.
Working for my old Uni has been a good move so far.

Keep asking them questions.

stickygirl said:

Personal Life update
I now have a job, back in my old Uni town and am living in a student hall of residence (beggars can't be choosers). However, good news is, that I can move back to my old 'second home' after the Easter break, as that room is coming vacant Things looking up.
Working for my old Uni has been a good move so far.

Keep asking them questions.

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Good for you!!

I'm sure you've answered this before, but what is your opinion of transgender girls who make their living doing porn? Do you think they make it worse for those of you who are making the transition or who have made the transition? Do you think this contributes to the violence and abhorrent treatment by homophobes?

Good for you Sticky, sorry for not getting back to talk to you sooner, beautiful lady friend!!!

BradBigBrain said:

Good for you!!

I'm sure you've answered this before, but what is your opinion of transgender girls who make their living doing porn? Do you think they make it worse for those of you who are making the transition or who have made the transition? Do you think this contributes to the violence and abhorrent treatment by homophobes?

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Always with the tricky questions huh 3B?!

Maybe the best way to answer that is to turn it on its head as usual? So what do we think of cis-women that do porn? Do we think "well it's a shitty job, but it helps me get my rocks off"? Probably.
But next up: does it change our opinion of women generally? No. Some might think less of women generally, but that's a bigger topic. The important point is that porn actresses are quite rare: how many Lit readers have actually met a porn actress? Not many. So they are the exception to the norm. We meet women every day and they are not porn actresses.

The thing with trans women is that we are quite rare too and though you may have met one in every day life, you may not have realised it. But trans porn takes up maybe 30% of all porn, which is totally disproportionate, so most people only know of trans women through porn. They end up making an association between porn and trans women.

That's where the problem lies and that's why I have to take a dim view, not so much of the individual trans women, but of the industry that has skewed people's perception into thinking that way. I know there's jack shit I can do about that industry and what can one trans actress do - go on strike?!

So, do they make things worse for me? Yes. If there is one teeny grain of hope, it's that maybe, just maybe, by carpet bombing with trans women porn, some guys will stop being so amazed by it and accept being trans as being no big deal.

Do I think it contributes to violence from homophobes? No. Well, not exactly. There almost an implication in your question that transgender women are men. I'm sure that's not what you meant, but all the same, y'know?! I think guys tend to see things in black and white. If she looks like a chick, she's a chick with a dick. If she looks like a woman and talks like a woman, no one is going to point their homophobic finger and say "Eeeew - you like dick, you homo". If she looks at all mannish, she's something else: she might be a sissy; he might be a CD; he might be a trap; she might be a shemale or a ladyboy or a boi or whateverthefuck.

Folks, this why it is SO IMPORTANT that transgender women are given access to hormonal treatment as early and easily as possible. Without them, with the poisoning effects of testosterone at puberty, we develop those mannish physical markers and we then become targets for homophobia and prejudice. If all transgender women were physically indistinguishable from cis-gender women ALL the prejudice would evaporate. It comes down to how Johnny-me-no-homo judges us. It's not our problem - it's theirs.
We have enough problems trying to decide which way is up, before having to deal with everyone else's prejudice.

PS
thanks for putting the question btw 3B. You gave me a chance to sound off

Prince Albert said:

Good for you Sticky, sorry for not getting back to talk to you sooner, beautiful lady friend!!!

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Cheers me duck

stickygirl said:

Always with the tricky questions huh 3B?!

<snip>

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Thanks a lot for sounding off, Sticky.

SEVERUSMAX said:

A "friend" of mine freaked out today when he learned that he had been flirting with a "lady boy" online.

So what? Maybe it's just me, but I don't see the problem.

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So, sticky, what precisely is the difference between a "lady boy" and a transsexual? Is it just a cultural thing, a matter of semantics?

Also, a friend of mine at work is a female-to-male transgendered person, but he (and yes, I choose to recognize his choice to embrace his inner sex by using the masculine) has had issues with needing blood tests and having to get the money for hormones. I suspect that this is a common problem for transfolk of both sexes, but just how common, and is there any practical advice for him?

SEVERUSMAX said:

So, sticky, what precisely is the difference between a "lady boy" and a transsexual? Is it just a cultural thing, a matter of semantics?

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Semantics, but although language moves fast, they derive from different roots.

Ladyboy was probably coined by the country that first offered transgender prostitutes to soldiers in Thailand for R&R. The Thai trans women have a natural advantage in terms of physique don't they ( jealous moi? ). Think of ladyboy as being on a par with faggot and use it as you then see fit...

Transexual always makes me think of that old movie, Rocky Horror Show. Not so much an umbrella term but a mashed-up explosion that covers everyone from male prostitutes to transgender people.
I think there was a time maybe ten years ago when trans folk tried to reclaim the word to describe people who were undergoing or had undergone surgery, but the attempt must have been too much associated with old slang meanings. I don't know anyone currently using the term.
It has become correctly understood that transitioning, and being a trans woman ( or trans man ), does not depend on surgery, despite what the laws of some countries still insist is the case. The "sexual" implication in the word transexual is inappropriate because "sex" is not relevant: gender is.

stickygirl said:

Maybe the best way to answer that is to turn it on its head as usual? So what do we think of cis-women that do porn? Do we think "well it's a shitty job, but it helps me get my rocks off"?

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Excellent answer, as always, SG. Applicable to many other things as well.

stickygirl said:

Do I think it contributes to violence from homophobes? No. Well, not exactly. There almost an implication in your question that transgender women are men.

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That is the problem, IMO - with the homo/transphobes, I mean. If there's a dick there and you're a guy, the man's manual says you must be hostile or you lose your macho card. Men need to get over this shit. Your comment about 'carpet bombing' may be correct, in that men will (eventually) realize that it is possible to find someone attractive even if they don't fit neatly into the binary (or even if they do!). It also breeds a whole host of other assumptions about trans people, but one step at a time.

stickygirl said:

Ladyboy was probably coined by the country that first offered transgender prostitutes to soldiers in Thailand for R&R. [...] Think of ladyboy as being on a par with faggot and use it as you then see fit...

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I don't know about the origin of the word 'ladyboy' specifically, but doesn't it refer to the same people as the Thai term 'kathoey'? I understand them to be broadly equivalent to the hijra of India, as a 'third gender', though Wikipedia, which is of course always correct, seems to suggest some overlap with 'fairy' or 'faggot', but not entirely. Different cultures, of course, shouldn't be expected to map their concepts 1:1 to ours.

stickygirl said:

I now have a job, back in my old Uni town and am living in a student hall of residence (beggars can't be choosers). However, good news is, that I can move back to my old 'second home' after the Easter break, as that room is coming vacant Things looking up.
Working for my old Uni has been a good move so far.

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Wonderful news. Great to hear from you.

Max
If you said that to me I'd probably would have cringed a little, but not reacted but since this is a Literature site, I'm gonna crack my knuckles Not having a pop at you - I mean if your 7th grade teacher corrects your spelling it's no big deal. Remember that?! I know I hated the red pen too

SEVERUSMAX said:

Also, a friend of mine at work is a female-to-male transgendered

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transgender is a noun, not a verb. Transgenderizing isn't something that happens to people. He is a transgender person. However tenderizing is a verb and sounds almost the same. Tenderizing means beating the crap out of steak with a spikey mallet: do not try this with pets or transgender people.

SEVERUSMAX said:

person, but he (and yes, I choose to recognize his choice to embrace his inner sex by using the masculine)

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That's good. It's his 'gender' plain and simple and you'll be making his day every time you use the correct pronouns

SEVERUSMAX said:

has had issues with needing blood tests and having to get the money for hormones. I suspect that this is a common problem for transfolk of both sexes, but just how common, and is there any practical advice for him?

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Ok, so far as I know FtM folk need injections of testosterone and basically that's it. If someone is reading this and needs to correct my bad then please do. Stella Omega is your guy to advise on this one. My understanding is that changing the perfect to make him into man is pretty straight forward hormonally. The reverse is a bitch.

As for blood work - yes he'll need that, at least at first, until he and his physician can work out a pattern. Where you are in the world makes a heap of difference to cost. In the UK blood tests come with the NHS, so they're free.
The same is true of MtFs in as much that financial support is sometimes available for drugs and treatments depending on where you live. Happily I am now less of a burden to the UK NHS as I only need a bit of estrogen to keep me perfect

Cool answers overall, and a good reminder that even a grammar Nazi like me can get it wrong at times.

Just read back my stuff and I hope I didn't come across as snarky ( Max, 3B ) There's no nice way of being a grammar nazi is there?

stickygirl said:

transgender is a noun, not a verb. Transgenderizing isn't something that happens to people. He is a transgender person. However tenderizing is a verb and sounds almost the same. Tenderizing means beating the crap out of steak with a spikey mallet: do not try this with pets or transgender people. That's good. It's his 'gender' plain and simple and you'll be making his day every time you use the correct pronouns

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Hey. New here, but I just dropped in to say I'd prefer it be an adjective rather than a noun. I'd much rather be a transgender girl, transgender woman, or transgender person than "a transgender."

But yes, the verb usage -- help, I've been transgendered! -- is pretty unfortunate.

TransChick said:

Hey. New here, but I just dropped in to say I'd prefer it be an adjective rather than a noun. I'd much rather be a transgender girl, transgender woman, or transgender person than "a transgender."

But yes, the verb usage -- help, I've been transgendered! -- is pretty unfortunate.

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Haha - that's why I do science, not Eng Lang - I only scraped my GCSE Ooops You're quite right of course, adjective is ok, but verb not

and thanks for dropping by - we need some smart folks here

stickygirl said:

Haha - that's why I do science, not Eng Lang - I only scraped my GCSE Ooops You're quite right of course, adjective is ok, but verb not

and thanks for dropping by - we need some smart folks here

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Thanks for the welcome. So far I like it here.

TransChick said:

Thanks for the welcome. So far I like it here.

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If you want to pitch and answer questions too then go for it. I'd love to hear your take on things