GloriHoleLover2
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 28, 2017
- Posts
- 1,594
I am closeted because if I came out I would be divorced and I am too old to lost half of everything
My situation is somewhat similar to yours, Rfhh, but I DID come out to Wifey, about seven years ago! But we ARE still together, because NEITHER of us wants to be homeless!
My wife knew I had played with men when I was younger, but thought I'd outgrown those urges. But, in reality, my desire for sex with men just continued to grow, and I just took my ongoing man-to-man contacts underground! Fortunately, for me, I found the hot, wet cocks I craved plenty available at the adult bookstores, theaters and highway rest areas that I secretly frequented. I never stopped that, even during our marriage.
We married back in 1992 for a number of reasons; me trying to go str8, family pressures and, most of all, she and I really did love each other. And we still do! But, my real need for sex with men, not only didn't diminish, but actually grew stronger! Unfortunately, our family and financial entanglements grew apace for many years.
Then, in about 2009, Wifey began accusing me of having an affair...with a woman! Now, I had occasionally played with a lady or two when that very rare opportunity presented itself, but those dalliances never went anywhere and I much preferred devoting my sexual energy to enjoying men! But, I was definitely NOT having any affairs with women at that time. And the accusations just continued, really stressing our relationship! Besides that, Wifey's libido had long been in decline, coupled with painful thinning vaginal tissues syndrome, resulted in our having NO sexual relations in nearly ten years! So...there was plenty of angst in our marriage!
Then, one afternoon, during an escalating argument and more allegations of infidelity, I just lost it, telling my wife, right out loud that I not only didn't have a girlfriend, but that I didn't even have any desire for a girlfriend! "I like men!" I told her, hotly. "I don't even want sex with a woman! I like men...I love sex with men...and I only want to have sex with men! So there...NO women...NO affairs!" Well, THAT stopped her cold! "You do???" she asked, meekly. I told her that I really did, and that I had liked men most of my life!
That was a LOT for her to digest, but, over the next few months, we really dialogued about our relationship and our future. We decided that divorce was way too difficult and painful, due to deep family, financial and property entanglements that, if we divorced, would destroy us both. She eventually came to accept my homosexuality, although she didn't condone it and couldn't allow me to be sexually active with men. BUT...she did agree to me masturbating openly, whenever I chose...allowed me a collection of vibrators and dildos for anal play...and she doesn't question my activities when I'm away from her for a day or two, although she knows I visit adult bookstores and theaters to cruise for sex with men! She even occasionally joins me for a masturbation session, working my ass toys in me, asking me for the juicy details of my sex play with men, and telling me what a cock-loving faggot I am! (Unfortunately, THOSE sessions with Wifey are not nearly as frequent as I'd like!)
So...we have worked through this difficult situation, I'm out to her, and it really is so nice, not having to move in secret quite so much anymore! We still love each other, we're not in financial ruin, and I'm still allowed to be who I am, within limitations. It CAN actually be done!