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Old 11-24-2017, 07:01 PM   #1
Desire_Girl
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Not sure why I'm even posting here..

I feel deep down that I'm submissive. I don't believe that my husband is though.
We have tried to play around with it but it just feels like something is missing.
It's hard to explain. I'm usually always the one that brings up sex. I just want him to take me, be a bit rough with me. I've told him too, how I feel. Doesn't help either that he has trouble getting hard and lasting long. Sorry for rambling.
I just feel so sad and alone at times.
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Old 11-25-2017, 03:25 AM   #2
Nezhul
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well, one thing I can say that being a good dominant is a learned skill. Having rough sex is too.

If he has trouble getting hard or keeping it up long - bring more toys into the bedroom.

Otherwise - just give him time. If he's OK with trying to dominate you and learning - just keep trying, correct his small missteps one at a time without sounding like he did everything wrong. Praise his effort and performace, tell him how much it means to you.

See, maybe he won't be truly into BDSM or being dominant. Like, he will not want it for himself. But as long as he wants and willing to do it for you - he will learn, and in time will be an awesome dom.

Dominating someone is hard, especially if you are used to being gentle or if some parts of your brain tell you that being mean will hurt your partner's feelings. But as I said - it's basically a skill.
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Old 11-25-2017, 04:04 AM   #3
Mrtenant
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So how's the talk going? You guys having decent interactive conversation on the topic?

If so, great! Helps a lot. Gotta be enthusiastic partners in crime on this stuff and not give up on each other. Or have a plan B. Whatever that is.

If not? That is going to be the first step towards improvement.

How important is it that the two of you get your wants and needs met in this arena?

Are you prepared to have a very frank and detailed discussion about it? Don't leave out any juicy bits with him and maybe help to get comfortable if he isn't.
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Old 11-25-2017, 10:31 AM   #4
LiamHDunn
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Like the others have said, communicate, communicate, communicate.
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Old 11-25-2017, 11:53 AM   #5
Dribble
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nezhul View Post
well, one thing I can say that being a good dominant is a learned skill. Having rough sex is too.

If he has trouble getting hard or keeping it up long - bring more toys into the bedroom.

Otherwise - just give him time. If he's OK with trying to dominate you and learning - just keep trying, correct his small missteps one at a time without sounding like he did everything wrong. Praise his effort and performace, tell him how much it means to you.

See, maybe he won't be truly into BDSM or being dominant. Like, he will not want it for himself. But as long as he wants and willing to do it for you - he will learn, and in time will be an awesome dom.

Dominating someone is hard, especially if you are used to being gentle or if some parts of your brain tell you that being mean will hurt your partner's feelings. But as I said - it's basically a skill.
The more i read Nezhul's posts lately...the more confused i am at why i didnt like her when i was here w a different account years ago. Either she has grown tremendously or i was flat out wrong. Anyway, i hope the op reads ^^^^^^^ this post.
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Old 11-25-2017, 01:15 PM   #6
Nezhul
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Yea, only it's a "he"
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Old 11-25-2017, 01:27 PM   #7
seela
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dribble View Post
The more i read Nezhul's posts lately...the more confused i am at why i didnt like her when i was here w a different account years ago. Either she has grown tremendously or i was flat out wrong. Anyway, i hope the op reads ^^^^^^^ this post.
Are you thinking of Netzach perhaps? I miss her posts. Always interesting points of view.
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Old 11-25-2017, 04:56 PM   #8
Dribble
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nezhul View Post
Yea, only it's a "he"
Quote:
Originally Posted by seela View Post
Are you thinking of Netzach perhaps? I miss her posts. Always interesting points of view.
Could be. Been too long. Doesn't change the fact that "he" has been right on target. No offense meant. Appologies
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