A subbie's blackboard lesson

I noticed quite a few subbies over in "Things a sub should NEVER say to her Dom" who looked like they needed a reminder to be respectful, so I thought I would offer this list of rules......
Ya'll feel free to add any you can think of


A subbie's blackboard lessons
( a la Bart Simpson)

i will not carve the flogger handles

i will not spank others

i will not aim for Master's head

i will not yell safeword in the grocery store

i will not sell the names on my newsgroup list to the National Enquirer

i will not read and giggle at Master's logs from the Dom Forum

i will not yell fire everytime Master lights a candle

funny noises are not funny

i will not slap Master with my bra

Punishment is not boring or pointless

i will not call Master Dr. Death

i will not defame the Eugenspeil Society

i will not put laxatives in the candy bowl before Master's D/s party

i will not hide the newbies or send them snipe Dom hunting

i will not bring sheep to the subbie forum

a burp is not an appropriate response to Master

i will not eat all Master's m & m's while he is at work

i will not yell she's tied up at the subbie forum

Master's gags are not to be used to keep the children quiet

i will not call Master spud head, butt head, or any kind of head

Masters ARE perfect

Mud is not an acceptable side dish for dinner for Master

i will NOT wear panties

i will not sell snake oil or tiger balm at Master's D/s parties

i will not peek out of the blindfold

there is no such thing as "slave immunity"

i will not sneak in the bathroom when i don't have permission

i did not win an emmy for my last session

i will not hide all Master's toys

all play and no work does not a good slave make

i will not say "oh Master you're the bestest and biggest" just to get a spanking

i can not fire Master

my last assignment was not stolen by one armed net hackers

i will not scare the newbies by telling them ALL REAL subs like bullwhips

i will not perform breast implant surgery on the newbies

i will refrain from saying "Hail Satan!" when i don't like Master's orders

i will not remind Master daily of our 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 1 yr. anniversary

i will not waste wax by playing with it or putting it on all Master's clamps

i will not use Master's bondage table for a skateboard ramp or a slide into the pool

i will not wear Master's underwear on my head

Master's dog does not stink

i will not torment the newbies with the violet wand

....and last but not least

i will not use the pages from Master's Dom Handbook to start the grill...

hehehe this is brilliant...just came in from the "Things a sub should NEVER say to her Dom" door *s*

so we can't use these ideas *s* hmmm *hands on hips...tapping toe* Why not?

yuppietowngirl said:

hehehe this is brilliant...just came in from the "Things a sub should NEVER say to her Dom" door *s*

so we can't use these ideas *s* hmmm *hands on hips...tapping toe* Why not?

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Didn't say you couldn't
Said it might not be a good idea
Not that I would ever DELIBERATELY set someone up to get punished
I mean, do I look like some sort of sadistic ?

James G 5 said:

Didn't say you couldn't
Said it might not be a good idea
Not that I would ever DELIBERATELY set someone up to get punished
I mean, do I look like some sort of sadistic ?

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hehehe oh never...that thought never crossed my mind *weg*

yuppietowngirl said:

hehehe oh never...that thought never crossed my mind *weg*

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(Luckily she hasn't seen the pics of me setting subbies on fire..........)

James G 5 said:

(Luckily she hasn't seen the pics of me setting subbies on fire..........)

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ohhh so that explains the lil horns *s* Had wondered but was trying to be polite and not ask *s*

yuppietowngirl said:

ohhh so that explains the lil horns *s* Had wondered but was trying to be polite and not ask *s*

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Awww
I'm not actually too subtle....do you have sigs turned off?
Mine starts with "Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name....."

Master's gags are not to be used to keep the children quiet

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but it's SOOOOOOOOOOO tempting!!
(mind you, she's not my daughter, but my noisy little sister)
hehe, i have handcuffed her to a bookshelf once.

"i will not defame the Eugenspeil Society"

LOL, if I did that one, _my_ master would punish me so hard I wouldn't be able to walk for a year.

UCE said:

"i will not defame the Eugenspeil Society"

LOL, if I did that one, _my_ master would punish me so hard I wouldn't be able to walk for a year.

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Nice to see you know your place

three eyes open said:

You forgot the one that says "i will nto remind master that he is a sub to the cat".

My husband loves to tell me that. I've told him that's a really old joke, but he can't seem to help himself. Sigh.........

Blessed be,
3eyes

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heehee...i like that one...*grins*

Hi Dr. Death!!

three eyes open said:

You forgot the one that says "i will nto remind master that he is a sub to the cat".

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Agrees with Bondagebunni...this one is brilliant. Knowing the personality of cats *s*

yuppietowngirl said:

Agrees with Bondagebunni...this one is brilliant. Knowing the personality of cats *s*

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'specially my cats

Bondagebunni said:

'specially my cats

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I used to have a cat that we nicknamed "Attitude Kitty"...and somehow I inherited that nickname *s*

yuppietowngirl said:

I used to have a cat that we nicknamed "Attitude Kitty"...and somehow I inherited that nickname *s*

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we have three kitties...all of them are evil incarnate...i didn't know there were so many evils to be incarnates of...

I feel that since i am continuing a completely irrevelant conversation in this thread, that i should contribute...

"i will not tell Master that he's 'cute' when weilding a whip"

how's that one?

Bondagebunni said:

we have three kitties...all of them are evil incarnate...i didn't know there were so many evils to be incarnates of...

I feel that since i am continuing a completely irrevelant conversation in this thread, that i should contribute...

"i will not tell Master that he's 'cute' when weilding a whip"

how's that one?

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Yes....I guess you are right Bondagebunni

So I will contribute:

"I will not say to Sir..."so who has attitude now" " *s*

"i will not tell Master that his penis is cute...Master's dick is not cute, it is sexy and impressive"

I will not stick out my tongue

(learned the hard way, btw)

redelicious said:

I will not stick out my tongue

(learned the hard way, btw)

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Yeah, nipple clips can sting on the tongue

James G 5 said:

Yeah, nipple clips can sting on the tongue

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the tongue isn't the only place they sting

Bondagebunni said:

the tongue isn't the only place they sting

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I would certainly hope not

James G 5 said:

<snip>

i will NOT wear panties

<snip>

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Yet another learned from experience. Geez, WHAT was I thinking?

James G 5 said:

I would certainly hope not

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*laughs* i'm not sure if that's a good thing or not...>.< don't you hate when you can't tell? heehee