Old 01-03-2013, 11:00 AM   #826
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Someone's back with a profile created on January 2013 and with a semi-new and well... not really improved message.

Quote:
Hey! I'm (name), (age).m.(location), brown hair, blue eyes, 6'0 and fit. What are you up to this morning? I'd love to chat and have some fun.

My friends know me as the smart, funny, cute and driven one of the group who has a bit of a sarcastic streak. But, they have no idea how horny or kinky I am, nor do they know how far my fantasies go. I'm not sure they would believe me if I told them. I love explore and have fun.

I also love to run, read, be outside, go out with friends and have fun. What are you up to today? I hope we can connect!

(Name)

yahoo: (yahoo ID)
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Old 01-03-2013, 04:49 PM   #827
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I got this copy-and-pasted abomination last night:

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TO INTRODUCE MY SELF;

I am LOCALLY KNOW AS; SIR XXXX, A MATURE!! MUCH EXPERIENCED!! DOM! DADDY! MASTER!!

I am a "know face" in the South Florida - Miami - Ft. Lauderdale - Palm Beach D's {bdsm] CUMME-U-NITY

you ARE ONLY AN AIRLINE TICKET AWAY FROM ME...

CUMME FOR A VACATION AND TRIAL TO SUNNY FLORIDA... then, stay on or if you want to return, I will be pleased to get a return flight back... simple as that...

you say little, but enough, in your profile, it is difficult to respond... but I am trying...

the information that follows is "canned" that is, since it is the same and does not and has not changed... it is still true honest and to the point!!

Are your interests THE SAME AS MINE?

STRICT!!
u NEED STRICT, once u learn, then, not one way one day and another the next!

YET!! LOVING
"I love the wind & rain in Spring", + romantic LIVING!! i.e. living lovingly...

DOMESTIC SERVICE, SEX SLAVE , [includes bdsm] SUROGATE WIFE, STUDENT/DISCIPLE, COMPANION, FRIEND, DANCE PARTNER!!

I ALSO AM A MASTER OF EROTIC SEXUAL AROUSAL, {MILD TO SEVERE} SPANKING!!

and A MASTER OF SEXUAL AROUSAL THROUGH HUMILIATION!! and some assorted ROLE PLAY's including "age play" and "naughty girl"


I did not hesitated because of the differences in our ages. Obviously I have a "thing" for younger women... your age is an attraction, to me, perhaps your opportunity to get what you DESIRE, SEEK & NEED from ME, WILL OPEN THE DOOR BETWEEN US.

IF? WE! CAN GET PAST THE AGE THING... the DOORS WILL OPEN FOR BOTH OF US!

I also am prepared to give to you & teach, mentor, guide, director, advisor, & protector, for you...

INCLUDING SEXUAL AROUSAL!! & FULFILLMENT!! INCLUDING "SUB-SPACE"!!! , it can be extended in duration, while orgasm is being denied, and/or, INCLUDE ORGASM!!!


I am also an EXHIBITIONIST, and I shall exhibit you at the several kink clubs and groups in this area, as a TROPHY, witch will enhance the humiliation. you will hung by chains from the ceiling or on a cross and I do not hit heads, but from the shoulders down, I shall give u the safe words green for go, yellow for slow/caution and red for stop. Then I shall proceed to flog u, starting with feathers and fur and getting increasingly harder, until the floggers, then I shall see if you say red first or I draw blood... My reservations include blood, so I stop there... scat... golden showers... children... otherwise almost anything goes... oh, about your head, you will be told to clench your teach and I shall cock whip your face back and forth and up and down and then shove it in your head!! you shall always be dressed in corsets, no top, skimpy and see thru clothing, bordering on what a street walker would wear. I could go on for pages more, but this will give u an better understanding of our potential COMPATABLILITY

It is easy to find me... in/at yahoo messenger, my name/handle is; XXXXXXXX my regular email address is; [email]and best of all, my phone number isXXXX-XXX-XXXXif you contact your phone provider, they can tell you how to block your phone number to the person you are calling... so I will not see it, and you may be more cummmmefortable that way... it is just a phone call, not a cummmmemitment!! your move,

SIR XXXX, GERONTOPHILIA DOM MASTER!!

This is a for real "solicitation" and I mean everything I said, IT IS NECESSARY THAT you READ THE WHOLE PROFILE!

Plus, I am easy to chat with, and as "open-a-book" for real DOM! I never lie... and will answer any question with honesty and sincerity!!! XXXX
Ramblings of a madman? Short attention span? Just plain stupid? I leave it to you the people of Lit to decide.
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Old 01-03-2013, 05:00 PM   #828
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurantica View Post
I got this copy-and-pasted abomination last night:



Ramblings of a madman? Short attention span? Just plain stupid? I leave it to you the people of Lit to decide.
Hmmm.....I'm new here, but that looked just plain tacky to me....
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Old 01-03-2013, 05:02 PM   #829
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You can tell how mature he is by his extensive use of exclamation points, and witty word play with the word cum, not to mention his absolute mastery of the shift key.

That one is a keeper.

Anyone else hear the voice of William Shatner while reading that?
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Old 01-03-2013, 05:06 PM   #830
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurantica View Post
I got this copy-and-pasted abomination last night:



Ramblings of a madman? Short attention span? Just plain stupid? I leave it to you the people of Lit to decide.
With mad spelling and grammar skills like that, it was a bit of a let down that he did not include the name of the Nigerian Bank he worked for, and the address to which you are to send your money and / or panties via Western Union.

Although he did not (or could not, due to his level of comprehension) proof-read, he at least used spell-check. We are still left with gems like "witch will enhance the humiliation" and "told to clench your teach and I..."

The AssHat is strong in this one - won't be the last we hear from him for sure. Definitely a strong contribution to start things off for a fresh, new year of asshateous behavior.
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Old 01-03-2013, 06:06 PM   #831
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Originally Posted by Saucyminx View Post
Anyone else hear the voice of William Shatner while reading that?
Now that you mention it. . .
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Old 01-03-2013, 06:42 PM   #832
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurantica View Post
I got this copy-and-pasted abomination last night:



Ramblings of a madman? Short attention span? Just plain stupid? I leave it to you the people of Lit to decide.
As funny as it sounds, it sounds like they are fishing for a sex slave and not a good one, one where once you get in you don't get to leave. kinda scary if ya ask me. hope noone falls for that shit.
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Old 01-03-2013, 06:58 PM   #833
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saucyminx View Post
Anyone else hear the voice of William Shatner while reading that?
You just ruined William Shatner for me. Well that and his rendition of Rocket Man.
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Old 01-03-2013, 11:08 PM   #834
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saucyminx View Post
You can tell how mature he is by his extensive use of exclamation points, and witty word play with the word cum, not to mention his absolute mastery of the shift key.

That one is a keeper.

Anyone else hear the voice of William Shatner while reading that?
Oh dear god, I do.....

I'm never gonna be able to watch Star Trek the same way again!
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Old 01-04-2013, 12:07 AM   #835
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelicaPink View Post
Someone's back with a profile created on January 2013 and with a semi-new and well... not really improved message.
I have gotten this one so many times it literally makes me sick!
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Old 01-04-2013, 12:26 AM   #836
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Got the PM one freakin' time too much! So I decided to write a public cease and desist post.

Feel free to add your names to the list.
Dear Pat
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Old 01-04-2013, 07:06 AM   #837
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saucyminx View Post
That one is a keeper.

Anyone else hear the voice of William Shatner while reading that?
Scotty, you've GOT to get us out of here!!!
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Old 01-04-2013, 11:56 AM   #838
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blulilacgrl View Post
Got the PM one freakin' time too much! So I decided to write a public cease and desist post.

Feel free to add your names to the list.
Dear Pat
My name has officially been added to the list.

To everyone, I'm sorry I've ruined Shatner for all of you. I didn't mean to. It's just when I was reading that lovely little bit of insanity, the narration was being shared by the great William Shatner, and/or the voice actor who plays Zap Brannigan on Futurama in my head, which made it wildly funny. It's a shame he didn't manage to use the word velour anywhere in that diatribe.
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My first new story in 3 long years

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. -- Kathleen Casey Theisen

Some days it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the leather straps. --Emo Philips

Don't think about it, just swallow. --my friend Eileen

She went around with a broken heart, and she wasn't sure who'd broken it. She thought it was herself, mostly.
― Ann Brashares

My Johari window Snatched shamelessly from Bailadora and Fire Breeze, because why not?

Come on in--the smut is fine

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Old 01-04-2013, 12:50 PM   #839
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Wow there have been some good ones recently!

I've not been on for a while & had lots of Pms waiting for me - including these three gems:

* Do you enjoy

Watching a man masturbate on his webcam?

*Cuckold

Love the thought of you being my lover and being made to watch while another man fucks you hard in front of me...mmmm

*FW: Shy indian wife

Hello i am Reena a shy wife of an Indian man who is 18 yrs older n has fantasies of watching avoyeur n gets hard ONLY with this fantasy...is it normal n common?can u help n guide me...my stats are 38d-28-38..and even hubhys small thin 4"cock makes me screamme getting Fucked roughly by huge thick long cocked men...Indians are by n large orthodox n reserved so initially this came as a shock but gradually i understood he is
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Old 01-04-2013, 02:18 PM   #840
AngelicaPink
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blulilacgrl View Post
Got the PM one freakin' time too much! So I decided to write a public cease and desist post.

Feel free to add your names to the list.
Dear Pat
I just did!

Not sure if it helps, though lol
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Old 01-04-2013, 03:12 PM   #841
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saucyminx View Post
You can tell how mature he is by his extensive use of exclamation points, and witty word play with the word cum, not to mention his absolute mastery of the shift key.

That one is a keeper.

Anyone else hear the voice of William Shatner while reading that?

I was about to comment about that, it seemed very shady used car salesman to me LoL

Flashing neon sign-"Call for preapproval credit now"!
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Old 01-04-2013, 03:19 PM   #842
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Or "Call now, you know you want to"
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Old 01-04-2013, 03:24 PM   #843
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xBuxombabex View Post
Wow there have been some good ones recently!

I've not been on for a while & had lots of Pms waiting for me - including these three gems:

* Do you enjoy

Watching a man masturbate on his webcam?

*Cuckold

Love the thought of you being my lover and being made to watch while another man fucks you hard in front of me...mmmm

*FW: Shy indian wife

Hello i am Reena a shy wife of an Indian man who is 18 yrs older n has fantasies of watching avoyeur n gets hard ONLY with this fantasy...is it normal n common?can u help n guide me...my stats are 38d-28-38..and even hubhys small thin 4"cock makes me screamme getting Fucked roughly by huge thick long cocked men...Indians are by n large orthodox n reserved so initially this came as a shock but gradually i understood he is


Hey Girl

I've gotten something similar to that a few months ago, where her "husband" asked her to come to lit and look for a latina with "fat tits" for him to fuck and slap until he comes all over them, and she was supposed to lick it up and eat my pussy..

I replied:

Ask your "husband" if i do what he wants, will he let me pinwheel his ass and pour lemon juice in it? Get back to me!


I got back "Sorry" .


LoL!
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Old 01-04-2013, 03:24 PM   #844
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Or "Call now, you know you want to"


LOL! Right. Asshats.


Hey girl
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Old 01-04-2013, 03:59 PM   #845
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Originally Posted by Cipher View Post
I was about to comment about that, it seemed very shady used car salesman to me LoL

Flashing neon sign-"Call for preapproval credit now"!
I bet he has a wacky arm flailing inflatable tube man in front of his dungeon.
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My first new story in 3 long years

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. -- Kathleen Casey Theisen

Some days it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the leather straps. --Emo Philips

Don't think about it, just swallow. --my friend Eileen

She went around with a broken heart, and she wasn't sure who'd broken it. She thought it was herself, mostly.
― Ann Brashares

My Johari window Snatched shamelessly from Bailadora and Fire Breeze, because why not?

Come on in--the smut is fine
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Old 01-04-2013, 06:36 PM   #846
Saucyminx
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All the attention on the dreaded Asspat pm has given me the urge to turn it into a mad lib.

Yes I know it's wrong, but it is the first thing that made me smile all day.
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My first new story in 3 long years

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. -- Kathleen Casey Theisen

Some days it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the leather straps. --Emo Philips

Don't think about it, just swallow. --my friend Eileen

She went around with a broken heart, and she wasn't sure who'd broken it. She thought it was herself, mostly.
― Ann Brashares

My Johari window Snatched shamelessly from Bailadora and Fire Breeze, because why not?

Come on in--the smut is fine
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Old 01-04-2013, 06:43 PM   #847
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Originally Posted by Saucyminx View Post
I bet he has a wacky arm flailing inflatable tube man in front of his dungeon.
That flaccid thing flopping about is probably NOT his arm. Okay Ewwww... I just grossed myself out!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Saucyminx View Post
All the attention on the dreaded Asspat pm has given me the urge to turn it into a mad lib.

Yes I know it's wrong, but it is the first thing that made me smile all day.
Hey it may be wrong but I want to see it! Pleeeease?
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Old 01-04-2013, 06:44 PM   #848
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I haven't received any horrible ones, just the general, hey, let's chat bs pm's.

Wait, I take that back, I did receive one with an uber long story attached. I didn't bother reading it, just deleted it.

That being said, this thread makes me giggle every time I read it. I think the inflatable wacky man was hilarious!
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Old 01-04-2013, 07:36 PM   #849
Saucyminx
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Asspat mad lib

My partner in crime was OTcurve.

it's Trevor from Birmingham, AL, had to get a new screen chair, massage me?
Remember me? I'm Trevor, 17.M.- fluffy hair, bumpy eyes, 12'0 and knobby.
My friends know me as the wet, sticky, big, and driven one of the group who has a bit of a gassy camera. They know I like to squeeze and have fun, though they have no idea how oozing or itchy I am, or how far my keyboards go. I'm not sure they would ignite me even if I caressed them.

I love to kick, poke, be outside, play and watch feet, go out with friends, explore quick acts and have pustule.

I hope we can kiss soon.

Please feel free to play along.
__________________
My first new story in 3 long years

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. -- Kathleen Casey Theisen

Some days it just doesn't pay to gnaw through the leather straps. --Emo Philips

Don't think about it, just swallow. --my friend Eileen

She went around with a broken heart, and she wasn't sure who'd broken it. She thought it was herself, mostly.
― Ann Brashares

My Johari window Snatched shamelessly from Bailadora and Fire Breeze, because why not?

Come on in--the smut is fine
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Old 01-04-2013, 08:12 PM   #850
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saucyminx View Post
My partner in crime was OTcurve.

it's Trevor from Birmingham, AL, had to get a new screen chair, massage me?
Remember me? I'm Trevor, 17.M.- fluffy hair, bumpy eyes, 12'0 and knobby.
My friends know me as the wet, sticky, big, and driven one of the group who has a bit of a gassy camera. They know I like to squeeze and have fun, though they have no idea how oozing or itchy I am, or how far my keyboards go. I'm not sure they would ignite me even if I caressed them.

I love to kick, poke, be outside, play and watch feet, go out with friends, explore quick acts and have pustule.

I hope we can kiss soon.

Please feel free to play along.
HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Saucy, I'm glad it made you smile, but really, a post like that should come with a disclaimer! I laughed so hard I can't breathe!

The gassy camera and pustule were just too much! Kudos!
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