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Old 02-25-2011, 02:14 PM   #901
Balladeer08
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Originally Posted by sweepthefloor View Post
Fuck this. I am not doing any more.
I am making up my own stroke scale score for hand jobs.

Oh, please post it!

You would be doing a public service. I have no doubt of this.

Just think of the applications--hookers all over the world could get certified, dating sites could post the scores of potential mates, you could post minimum standards in your "looking for" section, it would give goals to strive for.

This could be epic. You could become famous. Deservedly.
 

Old 02-25-2011, 02:33 PM   #902
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Originally Posted by sweepthefloor View Post
Fuck this. I am not doing any more.
I am making up my own stroke scale score for hand jobs.

Oh, please post it!

You would be doing a public service. I have no doubt of this.

Just think of the applications--hookers all over the world could get certified, dating sites could post the scores of potential mates, you could post minimum standards in your "looking for" section, it would give goals to strive for.

This could be epic. You could become famous. Deservedly.
 

Old 02-25-2011, 03:26 PM   #903
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I can't do it now because I took a nap and had a nightmare.

I go on this online dating website and check messages once a week. A man left his phone number. I called it. Two minutes into the convo he tells me his cock is hard. I tell him to jack off. He tells me to talk pervy to him to help him. I ask him to tell me what to say. He tells me: say you are a dirty bad girl and you need to be spanked and fucked. I say: I am so bad, I need to be spanked and fucked. He comes, I hear it. It does not turn me on at all.

Twice a day he calls me now. The conversation lasts for five minutes maximum. Two of the minutes he is jacking and I say what he tells me to say.

I don't mind because he comes so quick. I will continue to provide this service to him with a goal of a two minute conversation top time that includes the jack and ejaculation process.
------

Oh, the nightmare part.....I took a nap and the nightmare was meeting this man. He raped me and then stabbed me about ten times in the belly. As I was gasping for my dying breath I said: You didn't have to stab me. He said: You liked the rape part too much.
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Old 02-25-2011, 03:34 PM   #904
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I can't do it now because I took a nap and had a nightmare.

I go on this online dating website and check messages once a week. A man left his phone number. I called it. Two minutes into the convo he tells me his cock is hard. I tell him to jack off. He tells me to talk pervy to him to help him. I ask him to tell me what to say. He tells me: say you are a dirty bad girl and you need to be spanked and fucked. I say: I am so bad, I need to be spanked and fucked. He comes, I hear it. It does not turn me on at all.

Twice a day he calls me now. The conversation lasts for five minutes maximum. Two of the minutes he is jacking and I say what he tells me to say.

I don't mind because he comes so quick. I will continue to provide this service to him with a goal of a two minute conversation top time that includes the jack and ejaculation process.
------

Oh, the nightmare part.....I took a nap and the nightmare was meeting this man. He raped me and then stabbed me about ten times in the belly. As I was gasping for my dying breath I said: You didn't have to stab me. He said: You liked the rape part too much.
What will you do if he needs massage therapy?
 

Old 02-25-2011, 03:40 PM   #905
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What will you do if he needs massage therapy?
That is not on the service menu for him. He gets two minute jack time with my voice. I am not sure why I even do it. I don't want to see him.

Can you do the NIHSS cert with me? I don't fucking feeling like it. If I know you have to do it too, I will feel better.
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Old 02-25-2011, 06:41 PM   #906
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"Medicine is my lawful wife, and literature is my mistress. When I get fed up with one, I spend the night with the other. Though it is irregular, it is less boring this way, and besides, neither of them loses anything through my infidelity." says Anton Chekhov.
 

Old 02-25-2011, 07:05 PM   #907
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You are way too nice. You should be getting paid $9 a minute for your service!
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Old 02-25-2011, 07:28 PM   #908
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Friday evening finally, time for some Sex on the beach.

2 parts vodka
1 1/2 parts Bacardi® Limon rum
2 parts grenadine syrup
2 1/2 parts orange juice
1 part gold tequila
1 part Southern Comfort® peach liqueur


Put all ingredients in together, and shake. Serve in a glass filled up to 2/3 with ice.


20% (40 proof)
Serve in: Highball Glass
 

Old 02-25-2011, 08:00 PM   #909
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i um.... like.
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.....
 

Old 02-25-2011, 11:34 PM   #910
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That is not on the service menu for him. He gets two minute jack time with my voice. I am not sure why I even do it. I don't want to see him.
Lucky Jack.

Biatch! *bites fist
 

Old 02-26-2011, 12:38 AM   #911
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You are way too nice. You should be getting paid $9 a minute for your service!
Heh. It is one less angry stressed man on the streets. I won't quit my day job.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Morcheeba View Post
Lucky Jack.

Biatch! *bites fist
Yeah! It is so quick I can hardly reject it. I find the whole scenario dry and amusing.
*bites nails
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"Medicine is my lawful wife, and literature is my mistress. When I get fed up with one, I spend the night with the other. Though it is irregular, it is less boring this way, and besides, neither of them loses anything through my infidelity." says Anton Chekhov.
 

Old 02-26-2011, 12:40 AM   #912
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Originally Posted by Shagly View Post
Friday evening finally, time for some Sex on the beach.

2 parts vodka
1 1/2 parts Bacardi® Limon rum
2 parts grenadine syrup
2 1/2 parts orange juice
1 part gold tequila
1 part Southern Comfort® peach liqueur


Put all ingredients in together, and shake. Serve in a glass filled up to 2/3 with ice.


20% (40 proof)
Serve in: Highball Glass
Is that therapeutic? Sex on the beach probably is. It is finally Friday and I have to work in the morning! grr
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"Medicine is my lawful wife, and literature is my mistress. When I get fed up with one, I spend the night with the other. Though it is irregular, it is less boring this way, and besides, neither of them loses anything through my infidelity." says Anton Chekhov.
 

Old 02-26-2011, 12:40 AM   #913
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Originally Posted by neci_please_me View Post
i um.... like.
I have some!
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"Medicine is my lawful wife, and literature is my mistress. When I get fed up with one, I spend the night with the other. Though it is irregular, it is less boring this way, and besides, neither of them loses anything through my infidelity." says Anton Chekhov.
 

Old 02-26-2011, 09:01 AM   #914
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Everyone is stable. The coffee is on, and I'm not in charge! Yaay!
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"Medicine is my lawful wife, and literature is my mistress. When I get fed up with one, I spend the night with the other. Though it is irregular, it is less boring this way, and besides, neither of them loses anything through my infidelity." says Anton Chekhov.
 

Old 02-26-2011, 09:02 AM   #915
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It hurts when I do this.


*morning wood*
 

Old 02-26-2011, 09:46 AM   #916
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It hurts when I do this.


*morning wood*
You tease me!
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"Medicine is my lawful wife, and literature is my mistress. When I get fed up with one, I spend the night with the other. Though it is irregular, it is less boring this way, and besides, neither of them loses anything through my infidelity." says Anton Chekhov.
 

Old 02-26-2011, 09:46 AM   #917
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You tease me!
It is the only thing I am good at!
 

Old 02-26-2011, 12:05 PM   #918
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It is the only thing I am good at!
:stuff:
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"Medicine is my lawful wife, and literature is my mistress. When I get fed up with one, I spend the night with the other. Though it is irregular, it is less boring this way, and besides, neither of them loses anything through my infidelity." says Anton Chekhov.
 

Old 02-26-2011, 12:19 PM   #919
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I love this thread!! I am in healthcare myself!
 

Old 02-26-2011, 01:23 PM   #920
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Yeah! I am less lonely.
Hm. My patient is drinking like a fish. It is a DI vs SIADH refresher.
Um so hi.
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"Medicine is my lawful wife, and literature is my mistress. When I get fed up with one, I spend the night with the other. Though it is irregular, it is less boring this way, and besides, neither of them loses anything through my infidelity." says Anton Chekhov.
 

Old 02-26-2011, 01:52 PM   #921
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My Fave Paramedic/ICU RN might bring me coffee! He's on the band-aid box today.
I'm gonna cream!
I really will feel like a princess.
I know I can't have him...
But I am gonna flirt and stroke his ego, like I've been doing for years.
I can't wait to see him out of scrubs and in that Paramedic uniform.

I just want to be in his aura space. Fuck.
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"Medicine is my lawful wife, and literature is my mistress. When I get fed up with one, I spend the night with the other. Though it is irregular, it is less boring this way, and besides, neither of them loses anything through my infidelity." says Anton Chekhov.
 

Old 02-26-2011, 01:54 PM   #922
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I want to make him come in his pants from looking at my mouth.
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"Medicine is my lawful wife, and literature is my mistress. When I get fed up with one, I spend the night with the other. Though it is irregular, it is less boring this way, and besides, neither of them loses anything through my infidelity." says Anton Chekhov.
 

Old 02-26-2011, 02:57 PM   #923
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I need Labetalol 20mg IV push STAT for my hypertensive crisis patient.
The vial contains Labetalol 100mg/20mL.
(?)

Just kidding!

Yes I like beta blockade.
It rolls off the tongue nicely.
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"Medicine is my lawful wife, and literature is my mistress. When I get fed up with one, I spend the night with the other. Though it is irregular, it is less boring this way, and besides, neither of them loses anything through my infidelity." says Anton Chekhov.
 

Old 02-26-2011, 04:06 PM   #924
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I want to make him come in his pants from looking at my mouth.
The dentist?
 

Old 02-26-2011, 04:34 PM   #925
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The dentist?
Ha! No. Dentists make me nervous. I'm so vulnerable in that chair.
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"Medicine is my lawful wife, and literature is my mistress. When I get fed up with one, I spend the night with the other. Though it is irregular, it is less boring this way, and besides, neither of them loses anything through my infidelity." says Anton Chekhov.
 
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