Unsure of the scene. Looking for advice/thoughts

ShanMcGyver · Jan 19, 2018

I'm gonna be brutally honest on this post.

I'm 23. I've never had sex before or done anything you could consider sexual with another person. I've never even had what could be considered an actual boyfriend. And yet, I constantly have this desire to let a hypothetical person that I trust essentially be my dom. I often daydream about kneeling for someone and just letting them tell me what to do. It's not even really anything sexual, most of the time. It's just relaxing to think about. In my profession I'm constantly expected to make decisions that could kill someone or change their lives forever, all while risking my own life and safety. I guess I just want someone who will take me away from that, even for a short period of time. But I have trust issues and a constant need for validation that what I'm doing is either right or wrong (if that makes sense). Im not looking for anyone to do that for me here. So I guess I'm just trying to figure out where to go from here or where to start, what to do, etc. I know a good bit about the bdsm scene from personal research I'm just feeling kind of lost at this point. Thoughts? Suggestions?

Nezhul · Jan 19, 2018

Is this hypothetical person - someone in particular, or is it just anyone, really, someone you might not know yet?

I ask because I didn't quite understand if you have someone you ahve a crush on, or just want to have a dom.

Anyway, whatever it is - I think you should first try to sort your personal life out. Get a boyfriend. Then play with him.

I can't give you any advice beyond that. All I can say is that what you want is pretty common. I wouldn't call it BDSM or even necessarily power exchange - maybe in the lightest of forms. Regardless, I wish you find what you seek.

Blue · Jan 19, 2018

Nezhul said:
I can't give you any advice beyond that. All I can say is that what you want is pretty common. I wouldn't call it BDSM or even necessarily power exchange - maybe in the lightest of forms. Regardless, I wish you find what you seek.

?

I'm having trouble seeing how one could daydream about kneeling and taking orders from somebody without it being called a strong interest in power exchange.

Otherwise, yeah. Find a boyfriend, experiment around. Maybe browse the multitude of threads in the cafe to see if you find any particularly interesting.

yukonnights · Jan 19, 2018

ShanMcGyver said:
I'm gonna be brutally honest on this post.

I'm 23. I've never had sex before or done anything you could consider sexual with another person. I've never even had what could be considered an actual boyfriend. And yet, I constantly have this desire to let a hypothetical person that I trust essentially be my dom. I often daydream about kneeling for someone and just letting them tell me what to do. It's not even really anything sexual, most of the time. It's just relaxing to think about. In my profession I'm constantly expected to make decisions that could kill someone or change their lives forever, all while risking my own life and safety. I guess I just want someone who will take me away from that, even for a short period of time. But I have trust issues and a constant need for validation that what I'm doing is either right or wrong (if that makes sense). Im not looking for anyone to do that for me here. So I guess I'm just trying to figure out where to go from here or where to start, what to do, etc. I know a good bit about the bdsm scene from personal research I'm just feeling kind of lost at this point. Thoughts? Suggestions?

Personally, I do not believe we need to have experience in a thing to intuitively know we are drawn to it. Every teenage virgin knows they are drawn to "their choice". My one thought, from what you shared, is in regard to the "trust issues" you mentioned.

I once had a friend who was a police officer. His work had the effect on him to make him tend to see the bad side of humanity. Over time, it jaded his outlook. Point being; It's not uncommon for people in many high stress jobs to become burdened over time with all the stress. I'm sure you know all this, just saying...maybe you need a break?

In the meantime, I read a really sweet and fun story the other day about a young woman who needed what you described. It's by the author, Simon Doom entitled In the Hallway. Here's a link to the Literotica page https://www.literotica.com/s/in-the-hallway-1

I hope you hang around, there are some really kind and, I think, wise people here. Sometimes it's takes awhile for them to run across your comments...so keep posting and asking questions...you can also tell others what "they should do", which is always fun

Farawyn · Jan 19, 2018

Blue said:
?

I'm having trouble seeing how one could daydream about kneeling and taking orders from somebody without it being called a strong interest in power exchange.

Otherwise, yeah. Find a boyfriend, experiment around. Maybe browse the multitude of threads in the cafe to see if you find any particularly interesting.

This.

Unsure of the scene. Looking for advice/thoughts

ShanMcGyver

Virgin

Nezhul

Angry Flufferpuff

Blue

Literotica Guru

yukonnights

Literotica Guru

Farawyn

Guest

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