Distance Domination-Support Thread

Mz_Cunningham said:

Don't worry, soon you'll be wondering how you could get along with only 2 months

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*kisses you deeply* Not soon enough, Mistress! Though knowing it will happen does make your slave smile and glow.

Lilac_Sky said:

*kisses you deeply* Not soon enough, Mistress! Though knowing it will happen does make your slave smile and glow.

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*throws a tomato* Get a room!!!

bhndblueyes88 said:

*throws a tomato* Get a room!!!

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We don't have one yet, that's the problem!

you can have mine. no one's using it.

I've spent about a year without him. I think two months is definitely worth while. I understand being jealuous though. I admit to a green eyed monster that peeks out when people talk about living together with their Master. Soon, I hope, when the Immigration papers are finished.

I hope you get time with your Mistress. I understand only too well how much it hurts not having the physical intmacy. That's why I am so happy his parents offered to pay for our First Anniversary so I could be here. Without them, I might have only had a few weeks at most.

sadangel said:

I've spent about a year without him. I think two months is definitely worth while. I understand being jealuous though. I admit to a green eyed monster that peeks out when people talk about living together with their Master. Soon, I hope, when the Immigration papers are finished.

I hope you get time with your Mistress. I understand only too well how much it hurts not having the physical intmacy. That's why I am so happy his parents offered to pay for our First Anniversary so I could be here. Without them, I might have only had a few weeks at most.

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Hugs! I am so happy for you. I remember back in the day and worried for you then. So happy to see you happy in your place.

.....

The new school year has begun. This means I ge back to having some private time during the day to spend talking to Daddy. It also means the kids having so many afterschool activities that there is no way I can go away for a couple days because they need transportation.

It's been a rough summer. There have been some challenges in the relationship but so far we seem to have weathered through them.

It's been six and a half years that we have been together. Together yet, physically apart for most of that time. I am not sure what the future will bring, but I have reached a point of contentment to be able to cherish each day one day at a time.

lacandy said:

What do you do when communication disappears?

<snip>

I'm at a loss. Maybe it's me??

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What to do? Be sad for a while and then be grateful because they showed you who they really are and this is good information to have when deciding where to invest yourself more long term. I am so sorry this happened to you, but please take comfort in knowing it is definitely NOT about you. I wish you the best of luck in finding someone that can meet your needs and that truly deserves you.

Thank you for sharing your story with us SadAngel... I was really moved by it.

I've found that watching videos together can be an interesting way to deal with being apart.

http://www.sherlockcums.com/#/search/bdsm/1 is usually where I look. What about you?

I just found this thread and am very interested.

I am also new to the whole D/s type relationship and I have a certain someone in my life who is willing to be my sub. Unfortunately we do live far apart. I know that there are probably some wonderful ideas on this thread as to how to engage in this relationship across the miles, but if anyone has some good advice, please let me know.

BBW Fan said:

I just found this thread and am very interested.

I am also new to the whole D/s type relationship and I have a certain someone in my life who is willing to be my sub. Unfortunately we do live far apart. I know that there are probably some wonderful ideas on this thread as to how to engage in this relationship across the miles, but if anyone has some good advice, please let me know.

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Don't do it!!! It'll just bring heartache and pain. LDR's suck!!

ok....I'm kidding. Well, sort of. Long distance does mean more then it's fair share of heartache and pain but that doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't do it.

Just be prepared, just in case one or both of you falls in love.

~~says someone whose world feels like it's been turned upside down and backwards but is still happily with her long distance dominant of more then 6.5 years~~

Reading your posts, I see that distand relations are difficult. But there are situations, when they are your best option. I am still looking for a misstress. In real life, I always find either girls that are not into domination & co. or they are submisive too.
So I hope to find an online misstress. My sex life just doesn't feel complete so...


If anyone has any idea that can help, please feel free to PM me.

ecstaticsub said:

Don't do it!!! It'll just bring heartache and pain. LDR's suck!!

ok....I'm kidding. Well, sort of. Long distance does mean more then it's fair share of heartache and pain but that doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't do it.

Just be prepared, just in case one or both of you falls in love.

~~says someone whose world feels like it's been turned upside down and backwards but is still happily with her long distance dominant of more then 6.5 years~~

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I hope neither one of us fall in love with each other. We are each in a loving and devoted marriage and all of us know about each other. We are open and honest with each other.

We're just looking for a bit of fun.

Ask me no questions...i will tell you no lies!

It's been a while since I've been in here and even longer since I was in my LDR.

So anyway...for whatever reason I would love to hear peoples accounts of their first meeting with their pyl/PYL...


How long was it before you met?

What were the circumstances when you met..where, when, why, etc

How long did you stay together that first time...was it an hour or two, or a weekend or longer?

and your feelings...was it everything you hoped for or did the expectations not live up to the reality?

I can remember my own experience, but prefer not to dwell on it for obvious reasons...so please humour me and share yours.

wenchie and ES too please!

minx1 said:

So anyway...for whatever reason I would love to hear peoples accounts of their first meeting with their pyl/PYL...

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I promise to come back and give a detailed answer to this question when I have a chance (i.e. when I don't have to work )

Remembering back to those first 24 hours together is already making me smile.

Thanks Minx for asking the questions.

minx1 said:

How long was it before you met?

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It was about 2 and a half years before we finally were together. That was due to circumstances out of our control.

What were the circumstances when you met..where, when, why, etc

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I flew down to see her.

It's a funny story about how the visit actually came about. We were fighting at the time because at this point in our relationship the frustration and aggravation of not being able to be together was wearing on us.

So, it finally boiled over and we were kind of fighting/blowing off steam when she said, (in her brattiest of tones ) "why don't you just fly down here this weekend?" to which I replied, "Yea sure." (rolleye included) Then she said her parents were going away for the weekend and my reply was, "...Ok I'll come down and visit."

lol Which totally caught her off guard. All she could do was ask if I was serious. I was.

So we started planning that day, Monday, for me to fly down that Friday. What's funny is that I was nervous/excited the whole time up to getting to the airport on Friday. Then all my nervousness went away.

When I landed, she met me at the luggage pick. It was a very surreal moment. Seeing for the first time in person the love of my life. Someone whom I had fallen deeply in love through just a voice, text, email, etc. It was very much a whirlwind of emotions and feelings. I remember how happy seeing her made me and how beautiful she looked.

She came bouncing up to me and we kissed. Wasn't my best kiss cause I was still trying to process everything. It was still just so unbelievable that we were finally together. After so much longing and wanting and needing for it to happen. It was almost too good to be true.

Without a doubt, some of the best days of my life.

How long did you stay together that first time...was it an hour or two, or a weekend or longer?

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It was a weekend.

and your feelings...was it everything you hoped for or did the expectations not live up to the reality?

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It was everything and more. SO many firsts and I'm glad they were with her. I really felt like we had been together for our whole lives. Took longer than either of us could have ever imagined or wanted, but it was well worth it in the end.

pr0nConnoisseur said:

Thank you for sharing your story with us SadAngel... I was really moved by it.

I've found that watching videos together can be an interesting way to deal with being apart.

http://www.sherlockcums.com/#/search/bdsm/1 is usually where I look. What about you?

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We watch anything we can find. We have movie nights while on Skype. We've done the whole Highlander Series while we've been in separate countries. We're doing True Blood this way now.

How long was it before you met?
We met here at Lit in Nov of 2008. Sir came down to see me in October of 2009.

What were the circumstances when you met..where, when, why, etc
I had left an abusive relationship that had been over pretty much for several years. I met Sir at the Airport. I recognized him by the pics I'd seen and by web cam. He'd come down to share our birthdays. They are only 10 days apart (and 10 years) so we could split the difference on the day to celebrate. When I saw him, my heart nearly stopped. I couldn't stop grinning. He came over and grabbed me into his arms and kissed me like no one ever has before or since; well, other than him.

How long did you stay together that first time...was it an hour or two, or a weekend or longer?
He stayed for two weeks.

and your feelings...was it everything you hoped for or did the expectations not live up to the reality?
It was wonderful. We knew very quickly into the visit, that this was for good. We wanted, needed to be together. He came down to visit me again in August 2010, when we got married, and then last Dec for three weeks, thanks to a dear friend giving some of her airline miles to him to do it for nothing! I'm in Canada until Nov. 3. This time a lot of things are different. My agoraphobia is really bad, my health is bad. My vertigo is off the charts. We're having to buy a "quad cane" to help me with balance, so maybe I'll feel safer going out to walk, even short distances. This has caused a momentary blip on the marital bliss screen, but nothing we can't work out and work through.

minx1 said:

wenchie and ES too please!

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*giggles* Was wondering if you'd want my story again.

It's funny you bring this up today, as it's been rainy/over cast the past few days and it really has me thinking of my time there.

So after 3 years of instant messaging, snail mail, and brief phone conversations, we finally managed to save enough money for me to fly to Ireland (from Ohio, USA) for a visit, this included a hotel and my passport. I was so excited I had my bags packed and repacked for 3 months before my trip. *giggles*

It was my very first time on a plane, my very first vacation alone, and my very first time in a different country. I took 3 holidays and a week's vacation so I could spend 9 days there. I went into work at 4am, got off at 11am came home, showered, tried to eat (failed), got dressed, loaded the van, called my mom and told her I was leaving, called my core friends and told them I was leaving, then started out on the 45 minute drive to the airport. On the way I called Jounar so I could talk to him the way there. I was practically jumping out of my skin so excited to be visiting. He asked what I was wearing, and I discribed my outfit to him, and he made me remove the collar I always wore. He said he didn't want me to have any negitive attention when I was making my first flight.

I arrived at the airport 2 hours before my flight, check in didn't take nearly as long as they told me that it would, so I had a ton of time to kill. I set up my laptop, took a picture of my teddy bear, and told every one here about my starting out. Then I sent text messages to every one saying I was at the airport. Jounar and I IMed for a little bit, and then he was off to bed as I boreded my first flight.

Being up since 3am was starting to take effect when I landed in Philly. I quickly found my way to the gate (I was deathly afraid of getting lost) and again fired up the lap top to check in with all of my lit friends. Then the text messages went out telling everyone (including the sleeping Jounar) that I had made it safely to Philly and was about to bored for London, and took a picture of my bear.

When the plane left Philly, exhaustion set in. I was out cold, missed dinner, and didn't wake until half way across the ocean. That moment, when I woke (still exhausted) on a plane and looked out to see a dark ocean under me, that was the very first time panic hit me. I, out loud, scolded myself. "WTF are you doing? This is the most insane, stupidest fucking thing you have ever done in your entire life!" About 2 minutes like that, and I shrugged and said "well, too late to go back now" and fell back asleep. The flight attendants had to think I was bat shit crazy.

Landed in London feeling fairly confident in myself. I mean, now I have 2 flights under my belt. I followed the crowd as far as they went, but as I wasn't leaving the airport there came a spot where they went one way and I knew I had to keep going. So I followed the signs. I read each one very carefully, went through two security check points and to my check in spot where the lady asked for my....some fancy name for a digital picture that comes up on their screen. No one had taken my picture. She very curtly told me I had to go back up and have it done. I asked how I go back up, because all of the security check points went in one direction, this one, and she very curtly repeated to go back up. So now I'm very confused, feeling a bit scared as I'm frightfully shy, tired, hungry, and wondering how the hell I get back up to where I need to be. I took a deep breath and asked the two (very handsome) security guys how do I go to the place she told me. They looked at each other, confused as well, discussed it a bit (I tried to focas on what they were saying but I was having trouble not getting lost in the accent and visibly dooling), then they turned to me and told me to go through the door marked "security personel only" and it would take me back up. As I looked at the door I noticed some warning about what happens to people who go past that point who are not suposed to and freaked out a bit.

So here I am, having now been awake (except for the poor sleep on the plane) for 28 hours, lost behind security lines in a foreign country waiting for some one to pull a gun on me or something, trying to find my way to the security point I missed. I find it, only to find out that I should have filled out a customes form while I was on the plane, so now I have to fill it out while the line of people behind me huffs and puffs. Then comes the questions, and instead of saying I was going to Dublin for holiday, I was honest and said I was visiting a friend. Well now I had a whole nother list of questions to answer. They wanted to know how much money I had, how much was in the bank, who paid for my plane ticket, where I was staying, who paid for the hotel, how I knew this person, how long I knew this person, how much of my time was going to be spent with this person....It didn't hit me until after they stamped my book that they thought I was a mail order bride!

Get my photo snapped, go through the 2 check points again, and back to the rude lady with Aer Lingus, and I can't find my luggage slips. She calls down to the bay, they tell her they have my bags, she sends me on my way, and once again I'm following signs. This place is fucking huge! I'm walking, walking, 2 more security check points (at this point I"m wondering what they are for seeing as I was in restricted area and didn't get stopped once, not to mention the fact that I missed a whole check point and no one seemed to notice until I tried to check in), and finally I see a sign that says my gate is another 25 minute walk away. I see a pay phone and decide to call my mom. I know I don't have long as my flight is scheduled to leave in 40 minutes, and the sign says I still have another 25 minute walk, but I need a friendly voice. I pull out my phone card and dial....it doesn't work. I try again, and fail. Now I'm crying. I call Jounar. He answers, and I blurt out, "I got lost in the air port and missed security and they didn't know how to get me back and then they got me back but I had to go behind the security lines to do it and I was afraid some one would stop me and then customs asked all of these weird questions and the lady at Aer Lingus was mean to me and my next flight is suposed to leave in 35 minutes and the sign I just passed says I still have 25 minutes before I reach my gate and my phones are both dead and I tried to call my mom but I can't get the phone card to work and I told her I would call her as soon as I got to London, and it's not working, and I can't even text her, and I'm tired and I'm hungry and I just want to go home!" all in one breath. He chuckled a little, told me to calm down, that I would be there soon, and he would send a text to my mom for me.

So I took a breath and gave him mom's number. He told me again that it would be over soon, and I'd see him in just a few hours, he loves me and go find my gate.

I made it to the gate 5 minutes before they started boreding. Took a picture of my bear, and settled in for the last leg of my journey.

When I landed in Dublin, I had planned on brushing my hair, changing clothes, and generally prettying myself up. Now after being awake for 32 hours, and after my tramatic experience in London, I just wanted to find my way out of the airport. Went through the first customs spot, the guy asked me 3 questions total. Then to luggage claim. I found my first bag right away, and waited for the second...and waited...and waited...until the turn about stopped. Fuck me, they lost my bag! So off to the US Airways claim area to file my claim, and fuck if I know what hotel I'm staying at! So I gave them Jounar's phone number and address. I figure at least it will get to some place he knows, and stomp off to the final customs check point.

Now here I have a delema. There's 3 lines. One for EU citizens, okay I know that' snot me, one for Non EU citizens who do not know customs regulations, okay possibly me, and one for Non EU citizens who know the customs regulations and are abiding by them...there's no line there, so I go through that gate. I must have either looked like I knew where I was going, or by this point looked so pissed off that the security gaurds didn't want to stop me because they gave me a funny look, but didn't say anything as I passed by them.

Finally, I see day light through the huge windows. I look about, not sure where to go and I hear my name. "Wenchie?" I look "wenchie?" I turn around and there he is right behind me. I fall into his arms, glad to hear a famiure voice, but I don't let go of my bags for fear of loosing them too. I press myself into his chest for a minute and mumble "they lost my bag". He pulls me away slightly, lifts my chin by holding both of my cheeks, and kisses me as I mumble again "they lost my bags". He looks down at me, confused, "you had more?" And again the tears start to form. "Yes, I had another one, it didn't come off. I didn't know the name of the hotel so I gave them your address and phone number. It's the one with most of my clothes in it"

Again he chuckled a bit, and reasured me that I was fine, it was okay to give that address, and now we'd catch a cab and my travel was all over, I was safe now.

And I did feel safe. I didn't feel ackward at all. I snuggled against him in the cab and closed my eyes. I sighed as I breathed him in and listened as he chatted with the cabbie. He would look down and chuckle at me every once and again, but I didn't care.

When we got to the hotel, suddenly I was as nervous as a virgin bride. He had to tell me to lay on the bed and relax *giggles*. He teased me mercilessly, taking my top and bra off, fondling, kissing, and suckling my tits while I straddle him (both of us with bottoms on), he dry humped me, letting me feel his hardness through our layers, on top of me, over powering me, kissing me and telling me he wouldn't fuck me until later. 40 hours after waking for work Thursday morning, I passed out from exhaustion. I think we napped an hour or so, it was evening, I was starving so we went down to the bar for a sandwich and coke.

We chatted for a while, about my travel, about my mom insisting that I wasn't allowed to go even when I was bording the plane, about cars and inventions and everything and nothing, all of the same conversations we had over the years online.

I'll never forget that first night. Fucking until I was sore, then curling up with him to sleep, knowing he would be right there when I woke up. I whispered, "you're slut's finally home where she belongs"

It was 9 days of sight seeing and visiting with him and his parents. It didn't feel like a visit though, it quickly became a rutine that felt like it had gone on for years. I'd wake up at 7, and play with my ipod until he grumbled about 9 which was my cue he'd given up on sleeping and I could move. We'd fool around, he'd smoke as I cleaned up and sent off my emails for the day. Then off into the city, lunch and sight seeing (a few he'd never seen). We spent his mom's birthday with her. We'd head back to the hotel around 5, stop for the night's munchies, then it was movies/tv, fool around, and fall asleep.

It was the most amazing 9 days of my life.

minx1 said:

Ask me no questions...i will tell you no lies!

It's been a while since I've been in here and even longer since I was in my LDR.

So anyway...for whatever reason I would love to hear peoples accounts of their first meeting with their pyl/PYL...


How long was it before you met?

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We met online on a wifesharing site. We flirted with each other for about 3 months before taking it to IM, then 1 day to phone, another 4 months before becoming his submissive and an additional month before meeting for the first time and collaring.

What were the circumstances when you met..where, when, why, etc

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We met at a hotel. I had flown to his state to visit some of my family and while I was there I made an excuse (with hubby's knowledge and participation) to family and got away for a few days.

How long did you stay together that first time...was it an hour or two, or a weekend or longer?

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We were together for 24 hours that first time. We met in the hotel bar, kissed and went right up to his room. We spent the first few hours just the two of us. Yeah...I was having sex with him within 30 minutes of seeing him for the first time...lol. Then he told me he was inviting friends over. Long story but by midnight I had been caned by a female friend of his, was the party favor for 2 of his male friends in front of him and his female friend (who I later found out was an old gf)

After his friends left I was introduced to the concept of tantric sex and didn't stop until the sun came up. We slept for a few hours and I left to drive back to my husband.

and your feelings...was it everything you hoped for or did the expectations not live up to the reality?

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My feelings...needless to say I was a bit overwhelmed. But it was exactly the immersion into this world of his that I had fantasied about. Our meetings since then have ranged from almost as umm..active to romantic vanilla and everything in between.

Over the more then 6 years we have been through many challenges. The most important thing I have learned is to be fluid. Go with the flow. People change, relationships evolve.

I do know that no matter what happen in the next 6 years I will never forget that first night. I kept saying to myself "I should be scared" But I wasn't. It was fun. I felt safe with him. I knew then that he would protect me and I knew he always would.

wenchie and ES too please!

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Thank you!

the captians wench said:

*snip*

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I did the same thing when I went to Ireland. I didn't fill out the customs card on the plane and thought I was gonna be screwed, but the spot where you were suppose to hand the card in there was just a security guard leaning on his station and he didn't stop me as I walked right by.

Breathed a little sigh of relief as I walked by.

Daddy2mylilgirl said:

I did the same thing when I went to Ireland. I didn't fill out the customs card on the plane and thought I was gonna be screwed, but the spot where you were suppose to hand the card in there was just a security guard leaning on his station and he didn't stop me as I walked right by.

Breathed a little sigh of relief as I walked by.

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Going through Dublin was easy. They really didn't seem too bothered by well anything. It was in London that I was a total wreck.

ecstaticsub said:

Thank you!

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No thankyou all!

I love hearing about those first times and even though I know ES's and wenchies I still love hearing them again....more, more more!!!!

I recall my own and the nerves and that first instance when you are toes to toe and really look the person in the eyes for the first time. I remember studying his face, taking it all in...absorbing every feature, every line and whisker.

Lol it even makes me nervous to think of it.

I never spent the amount of time you guys have at that first meeting and I think for various reasons thats whats interesting me now....the transition from an ldr to being thrown together for a length of time.
Was it comfortable; were there awkward moments....or did you just fall into a routine naturally?
Do you regret anything about that meeting...other than it wasnt long enough?! lol

For those of you who either had their pyl/PYL to stay at theirs or stayed with them, did that part worry you from a safety point of view?

What about the what if's lol that I am sure everyone goes through....what if you didnt gel, what if you wanted him/her to leave., what if it was the longest week of your life....?!

Thanks guys

minx1 said:

Was it comfortable; were there awkward moments....or did you just fall into a routine naturally?

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A little awkward for me at times. But that was because of my own inexperiences and had nothing to do with her or us.

Do you regret anything about that meeting...other than it wasnt long enough?! lol

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No. If that had been our only meeting then I might have had some regrets. But our second meeting was even better than the first. And we were able to add on from our first meeting.

For those of you who either had their pyl/PYL to stay at theirs or stayed with them, did that part worry you from a safety point of view?

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Not for me.

What about the what if's lol that I am sure everyone goes through....what if you didnt gel, what if you wanted him/her to leave., what if it was the longest week of your life....?!

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We had been talking for so long and were so close that it never really crossed my mind. I just couldn't see how two people so close and in love wouldn't be the same in person as over the phone.