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Dear X,

Emerson40 said:
Dear Beach Lady,

Nickelback, seriously?

I guess sometimes, for some folks, good taste can only be found in their mouth. ;)

As for them being around at the time of 45s, I believe the better part of Chad Kroger was running down his mother's leg around the time vinyl was being replaced by the cd.

Yours in music,

Key of E
Click to expand...
Dear Key of E,

Sorry. What can I say? His voice has that sexier than sin, rough husky quality that sends my mind racing. That's the kind of voice I want whispering or growling in my ear, telling me all the dirty things he's going to do to me.

I have no idea who Chad Kroger is or what he looks like. I just like the voice.

Yours in aural lust,

The key of B minor

CC: C cup
 
BeachMomma said:
Dear Key of E,

Sorry. What can I say? His voice has that sexier than sin, rough husky quality that sends my mind racing. That's the kind of voice I want whispering or growling in my ear, telling me all the dirty things he's going to do to me.

I have no idea who Chad Kroger is or what he looks like. I just like the voice.

Yours in aural lust,

The key of B minor

CC: C cup
Click to expand...



Dear Lusty Auralist,

Your explanation for listening to that shite band follows the same logic as men who own stroke-mags for their articles.

Wondering... does any dysphonic voice shake the knees and gives you the panty sweats? If Louis Armstrong sang your grocery list, would you swoon?


Ludicrously,

SMHIMPARMWP
(Screaming Myself Hoarse Into My Pillow to Aurally Remove My Wife's Underpants)




Guttural utterances and sexy guitar riffs start up....

40.jpg



The Beachy One takes notice....

Ani+145.gif



Her mind drifts into dreams...

tumblr_lw43meOXo41r73jjoo1_500.gif



And dreams the dirty things that will be done to her.

21l72pv.gif



Snapped back to reality by her own throaty cries and raspy shouts.

yipee-gif.gif





Later in the day, Beach Lady recognizes her neighbor's son on the evening news, being "detained" for questioning about an incident in a music store, south of Tampa.

pic_002_sclean_638.jpg
 
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Dear SMHIMPARMWP,

You owe me a new monitor. While you're at it, you can buy me another drink. That's alcohol abuse, dammit!

Sincerely,

It'sMySaturdaySoIDon'tCareThatIStartedDrinkingWayBefore5
 
BeachMomma said:
Dear X - and Y,

What the hell is NAMBLA?

It reminds me of a gif somebody posted of a little girl, cute as hell but in the midst of a ferocious temper tantrum. :D

Love,
Me
Click to expand...

NAMBLA = North American Man Boy Love Association

Suzie is one of their most dedicated members. She's fans on their Facebook page and has had many donations in her name. She's particularly supportive of the Alabama chapter- AlabaNAMBLA.

BeachMomma said:
Dear Key of E,

Sorry. What can I say? His voice has that sexier than sin, rough husky quality that sends my mind racing. That's the kind of voice I want whispering or growling in my ear, telling me all the dirty things he's going to do to me.

I have no idea who Chad Kroger is or what he looks like. I just like the voice.

Yours in aural lust,

The key of B minor

CC: C cup
Click to expand...

Really Beachie???? Nickelback? You would admit that in this group? I'm sure Rainshine will be around as soon as this post is done to defend Nickelback and their awesomeness.

Chad Kroeger looks like he sounds- like a curly haired piece of shit on a stick. He wrote a song about 15 years ago and has been remaking that same shitty song over and over since.
 
so awesome I posted it twice

BeachMomma said:
His voice has that sexier than sin, rough husky quality that sends my mind racing. That's the kind of voice I want whispering or growling in my ear, telling me all the dirty things he's going to do to me.
Click to expand...

Dear Beachie,

His voice IS a sin. In fact, the Catholic Church has 8 deadly sins now. Being Chad Kroeger is one of them.

I can see the scenario:

"Hey Beachie, it's me, Chad. I'm going to tell you the dirty things I'm gonna do to you. First, I'm gonna sing you a shitty song. Then, I'll do another (shitty) song. Then you can play with my noodle. It's like a piece of fettuccine. My hair is curly and blonde, but my pubes are straight and long like Crystal Gale's hair. I straighten it very morning while I'm doing my morning beauty routine and vocal routine (eating glass).

Then we fuck and I cum in a minute."
 
Last edited:
BeachMomma said:
His voice has that sexier than sin, rough husky quality that sends my mind racing. That's the kind of voice I want whispering or growling in my ear, telling me all the dirty things he's going to do to me.
Click to expand...

Dear Beachie,

His voice IS a sin. In fact, the Catholic Church has 8 deadly sins now. Being Chad Kroeger is one of them.

I can see the scenario:

"Hey Beachie, it's me, Chad. I'm going to tell you the dirty things I'm gonna do to you. First, I'm gonna sing you a shitty song. Then, I'll do another (shitty) song. Then you can play with my noodle. It's like a piece of fettuccine. My hair is curly and blonde, but my pubes are straight and long like Crystal Gale's hair. I straighten it very morning while I'm doing my morning beauty routine and vocal routine (eating glass).

Then we fuck and I cum in a minute."
 
Oy! Seppo & Sheila,

It is clear you'd fancy a bit of the other from one another.

Until a mid-Pacific coital rendezvous can be arranged, fix your jigged passies.

There's a few here who can't discern the true blue from the pig's arse.

Your pally,

E
 
Emerson40 said:
There's a few here who can't discern the true blue from the pig's arse.
Click to expand...

Hey now. My believed Rainshine may be the trickiest little shit in all of lit land, but she is not a pig's arse. I mean... Oh wait. I'm the pig's arse in this scenario, aren't I?
 
Lol......Not to interupt the banter.....but I am rolling on the ground laughing my A$$ off.....

CF
 
I'm dying over here! Gawd, I love you guys! (Much more than I love Nickelback, but I might love my cake vodka and pineapple juice just a *tad* more than you guys!)

:kiss:
 
BeachMomma said:
I'm dying over here! Gawd, I love you guys! (Much more than I love Nickelback, but I might love my cake vodka and pineapple juice just a *tad* more than you guys!)

:kiss:
Click to expand...


Beachy...

Did you forget commas?

You meant cake, vodka, and pineapple juice right?



Or are we talking cake flavored voddie?

tumblr_mmnbclZnWf1rbrhnko1_500.gif






Just in case, I made you a vodka flavored cake, with vajazzle.

You can eat it with your fingers. ;)

Bon appétit!

kooka-cake-11.jpg



kooka-cake-10.jpg
 
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy GAWD! Rolling on the floor, laughing my fucking head off!

How long did it take to find a cake with my name on it?

*looks Em in the eyes, swipes finger through center of icing, and slowly licks finger - still maintaining eye contact*
 
Rainshine said:
Interupt away, we could use some fresh abs... I mean meat. I mean... hi. :D
Click to expand...
We could put CF between us - a RainyBeach sandwich. Somehow I don't think he'd mind very much. StickMann might get a cactus up his ass about it though.
 
BeachMomma said:
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy GAWD! Rolling on the floor, laughing my fucking head off!

How long did it take to find a cake with my name on it?

*looks Em in the eyes, swipes finger through center of icing, and slowly licks finger - still maintaining eye contact*
Click to expand...


Dear Beach Lady,

Whatever gave you the idea a cake with your name was the the Holy Grail of confectionary?

The cake has a twat built into it fer Chrissakes... You must have cunny cakes growing on trees where you are if you think the hard part (hey now!) was finding a cake with a few words on it.

Maybe you do have an abundance of cunny cakes 'round your parts, if I am to go by the cavalier way you just "swipe" your "finger through the icing".

Just look at the tender, puffed up, butter cream labium majora, and the sweet, delicate fondant petals of the labium minor surrounding that swollen, sugared clitoral candy.
I believe a gentler "swipe", and an attentive and skilled tongue is in order here, not some vodka-fueled, violent finger-bang.


Licking the beaters,

Pussy Pâtisserie
 
It's a good thing I love you! Geez, you men can be a little slow at times! Who said I was being violent or cavalier? I gave you eye contact, dammit! That was an erotic swipe....and lick of the fingers! Have you ever watched a woman try to seduce you while eating a banana? Same damn thing! Good Lord. Do I have to teach you all the wonderful ways women have of seducing the man of her dreams?

Let's try this again.

*looking soulfully into your eyes, I slowly lower my face to the sweet, moist, delicate flower. I gently touch the tip of my tongue to the clit, running my tongue in circles before raising my face to allow you to watch me suck the icing off my tongue. I bend down again, the hem of my skirt inching higher, and slowly, lovingly trace my tongue from top to bottom and back again."

There. Better? If you can walk around the house now without getting some strange looks, my feelings will be hurt!
 
Dear PMann,

Don't look now, but Rainy is on your Facebook. Who's that weird looking guy with the pubic hair style?

Love,
Me

*grabs the purple wabbit and wuns wike heww!*
 
Rainshine said:
We all know my limits are pretty much non-existent.
Click to expand...

Dear Rainshine,

I know. Oh dear god, I know.

You've corrupted me in ways I never expected. I remember when I first asked you, "What's a blowjob?" You just laughed. And then I said, "you can put your mouth... Down there?" and you explained the ways of the world to me.

I used to be so innocent. Now you wouldn't believe the shit (figurative shit) I'm into. Seeing boobs! Seeing vaginas! Seeing arses! I'm a straight up freak, muthafuckas.
 
pmann wrote this:


pmann said:
Who wants to shove a what up my where????!?!?

Now I've heard of rimming a rat, but pork a pmann? Hmmmmmm. Rainshine? Thoughts...
Click to expand...


And for some reason, I read it as this:

pmann said:
Who wants to shove a what up my where????!?!?

Now I've heard of rimming a rat, but a porcupine?!?! Hmmmmmm. Rainshine? Thoughts...
Click to expand...
 
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