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Mental Illness

desertslave said:
Some time earlier this evening I suddenly realized that I was feeling what loosely passes for 'normal' for me. No racing thoughts, no anxiety, no darkness. I was driving down the road, listening to good music, and watching a distant thunderstorm as I headed west. I'm not going to poke at it too much, I don't want to scare it away. But it sure is nice.
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That's fantastic.

I always wish I could somehow journal about my ups and downs so I can predict, or manage them. I just know in my heart I won't really find any significant patterns, so I try to just appreciate those moments when they come too.
 
desertslave said:
Some time earlier this evening I suddenly realized that I was feeling what loosely passes for 'normal' for me. No racing thoughts, no anxiety, no darkness. I was driving down the road, listening to good music, and watching a distant thunderstorm as I headed west. I'm not going to poke at it too much, I don't want to scare it away. But it sure is nice.
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Get over it, youre POS head case in need of a back ward at Gooberville State Hospital.
 
How is the weekend looking for everyone? I'm looking forward to being off that's for sure.

:rose:
 
It's so much easier to ignore trolls when they are on ignore.

Currently my mother is feeling "not like herself" and "scared" possibly "on the wrong meds" after surgery on her arm. I wish so that she would let me help her but she won't. She just prefers to complain and whine.

My girl is undergoing adult vocational training and finding it draining. She feels "dumber" and her I.Q. has always been high so I'm not sure what to make of it.

From what she says, I'm not sure my boy who is also supposed to go this route will last long in the program. With his anxiety and dysgraphia that could be a real issue.

I'm so hoping something good comes out of it for both of my adult kids though.
 
FurryFury said:
How is the weekend looking for everyone? I'm looking forward to being off that's for sure.

:rose:
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I have a lunch date with some girlfriends on Saturday. Our Prime Instigator works from home and often feels cut off from the world, so she decided to start having lunches with friends once a week; different restaurants, different parts of town. I haven't been out with friends like this in months. This will be at an Indian restaurant I haven't tried, so I'm doubly excited.
 
That sounds awesome!

:rose:

desertslave said:
I have a lunch date with some girlfriends on Saturday. Our Prime Instigator works from home and often feels cut off from the world, so she decided to start having lunches with friends once a week; different restaurants, different parts of town. I haven't been out with friends like this in months. This will be at an Indian restaurant I haven't tried, so I'm doubly excited.
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I'm gonna host a BDSM food thread I call DESSERTSLAVE:Foods that kick your diets ass.
 
Each day I get so much done. Each day so much more remains to be done. Infinity is mine!

8

:rose:
 
Celebrating an entire week of feeling 'normal' again. Savoring every moment. I know it's a little thing, but it's MY little thing!
 
desertslave said:
Celebrating an entire week of feeling 'normal' again. Savoring every moment. I know it's a little thing, but it's MY little thing!
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It is definitely worth savoring.

While I don't struggle with anything super severe, I've got such big ups and downs. I'd love "normal" for more than one or two days. I had a great day a couple of days ago. The last two days not so much. Even if I could predict how I'll feel on a given day it'd be easier.
 
As annoyingly cliched as it sounds, if you're a pre-menopausal female, there's a good possibility that some of your mood swings may be tied to your menstrual cycle. It's one of my big problems, TBH. My meds keep most of my stuff to a minimum, but for a week to a week and a half per month, things can have a tendency to go sideways.

This isn't just anecdotal, either, BTW. I've read in more than one place that symptoms tied to hormonal fluctuations are often the last ones to go, even when medication is controlling everything else. (Because of course they are. :rolleyes: )

One of these days, I'm going to get it together and get back on birth control because it seemed to help in my pre-meds days. I downloaded an app several months ago to keep track of my cycle because mine's always been irregular. Even so, the app can predict more or less accurately now that I've been tracking it for a while. And I think just knowing when to expect the weird mood changes seems to make it somewhat better. I can tell myself "Eh, you know what it is. It'll pass in a few days," rather than being blindsided by it and thinking, "OMG, IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!!!"

I have no idea if that'll be at all helpful to anybody else, but I thought I'd throw it out there, anyway. :)
 
BiBunny said:
As annoyingly cliched as it sounds, if you're a pre-menopausal female, there's a good possibility that some of your mood swings may be tied to your menstrual cycle. It's one of my big problems, TBH. My meds keep most of my stuff to a minimum, but for a week to a week and a half per month, things can have a tendency to go sideways.

This isn't just anecdotal, either, BTW. I've read in more than one place that symptoms tied to hormonal fluctuations are often the last ones to go, even when medication is controlling everything else. (Because of course they are. :rolleyes: )

One of these days, I'm going to get it together and get back on birth control because it seemed to help in my pre-meds days. I downloaded an app several months ago to keep track of my cycle because mine's always been irregular. Even so, the app can predict more or less accurately now that I've been tracking it for a while. And I think just knowing when to expect the weird mood changes seems to make it somewhat better. I can tell myself "Eh, you know what it is. It'll pass in a few days," rather than being blindsided by it and thinking, "OMG, IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!!!"

I have no idea if that'll be at all helpful to anybody else, but I thought I'd throw it out there, anyway. :)
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ROFL That's exactly why I started taking Effexor in the first place! I went to my doc about 6 years ago and told him I was being possessed by aliens. He's a cool guy so he just blinked and said "care to elaborate?" So I did...about how I'd never had real PMS ever in my life, but suddenly I was becoming bipolar/psychotic for several days each month. I knew it was PMS, but it was making me crazy! I would get weepy, have panic attacks, overthink purely simple things...and I knew I was being irrational but couldn't make it stop! Ta-da, enter Effexor. To this day, when I have to explain my pills to someone, I point at that one and say "and this is the pill I take so I don't kill anyone or cry myself to death."

When I realized that depression was starting to be its own thing a few years ago, we increased the dose. Worked great until the giant wave of 'everything is going wrong at once' hit me 18 months ago. It's been a looooong way back.
 
That's so true. As alone as we all sometimes feel, we are not alone and what we go through affects others too, sometimes in good ways and sometimes in not so good ways.

:rose:

Gianbattista said:
I was talking about this to my yoga teacher a couple of weeks ago. I too described it as so e sort of possession. I did not have pms until 'I did'. And the difference is incredible. I say things I don't even FEEL sometimes to G. As they leave my mouth I try and claw them back but cannot'. My yoga teacher's gf has pretty bad pms, and he said he felt my possession description helped him be more forgiving, but I pointed out that was only how i felt. He was saying as a teacher and friend he found it frustrating that he could laugh with and feel compassionate for me yet his frustration and hurt blocked the emotions coming easily for his GF. We don't go through any of this sh1t alone.
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I guess what im going through is classified as mental illness. I was sent home from work a little over 2 weeks ago with stress/anxiety related "breakdown" . I feel useless, like I let so many people down, like everything I'd done before was pointless. I have good days and bad ones. I get panic attacks at the stupidest moments. I'm ashamed of myself and the person I've become.

I'm thankful that my Master hasn't given up on me. I have have feelings of not deserving his love, care and attention. I've lost my place in the world I inhabited and am trying to find a new way forwards and come to terms with it. Accept it. The changes I need to make.

I'm sure there are people who have been/are in the same situation. I'd love to hear from you. How did you get to the other side?
 
On the PMS mood swing subject, those dealing with it might dosimeters research on Evening Primrose Oil and Chasteberry. I had so few cycles in the 10 years I was reproducing (pregnant, baby, breastfeeding, one cycle... Pregnant, baby, breastfeeding, one cycle... Lather, rinse, repeat), that by the time I stopped having kids my hormones were like a train wreck of nuclear bombs and god knows what else.

My midwife put me on EPO and Chasteberry, tweaked my diet a bit, and we gradually got the estrogen/progesterone levels below napalm level. It took a year-ish to really regroup (hormonally), but then again I was correcting 10 years of hormonal abuse. ;)
 
CutieMouse said:
On the PMS mood swing subject, those dealing with it might dosimeters research on Evening Primrose Oil and Chasteberry. I had so few cycles in the 10 years I was reproducing (pregnant, baby, breastfeeding, one cycle... Pregnant, baby, breastfeeding, one cycle... Lather, rinse, repeat), that by the time I stopped having kids my hormones were like a train wreck of nuclear bombs and god knows what else.

My midwife put me on EPO and Chasteberry, tweaked my diet a bit, and we gradually got the estrogen/progesterone levels below napalm level. It took a year-ish to really regroup (hormonally), but then again I was correcting 10 years of hormonal abuse. ;)
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I've had 4 cycles since December 2013, and soooo hoping to see the end of this soon. I went 10 whole months in the middle there. Cussed a blue streak when I didn't make it the full year.
 
kimuk said:
I guess what im going through is classified as mental illness. I was sent home from work a little over 2 weeks ago with stress/anxiety related "breakdown" . I feel useless, like I let so many people down, like everything I'd done before was pointless. I have good days and bad ones. I get panic attacks at the stupidest moments. I'm ashamed of myself and the person I've become.

I'm thankful that my Master hasn't given up on me. I have have feelings of not deserving his love, care and attention. I've lost my place in the world I inhabited and am trying to find a new way forwards and come to terms with it. Accept it. The changes I need to make.

I'm sure there are people who have been/are in the same situation. I'd love to hear from you. How did you get to the other side?
Click to expand...

Panic attacks for me are a cycle of guilt. I worry about not being good enough. I worry that there's something wrong with me. I feel guilty for burdening my husband. I worry if it causes problems for others (like work or some social thing I was supposed to attend) and the negative thoughts make a loop. It's difficult to break that cycle. I got help through meds and talking to someone. I also have the support of my husband. Having support and taking care of myself has helped.

Eating better and exercise. Going outside is also a huge help. Taking care of myself is the main thing. I sometimes take care of others to the point that I end up hurt. Sometimes I forget to eat, or don't sleep when I should really take a nap. Knowing when to stop and rest and take care of me has been a bit of a process, but it has alleviated some of the stress that causes my anxiety.

I still have panic attacks, but not as often. I hope you can find some peace. :rose: I don't mind talking about it if you ever need to.
 
Thanks meekme I find it puts it in perspective when I talk to others who have been there. I think I think it's only me when I'm going through it x
 
My mother goes from maybe having to go to the hospital, needing me or one of my kids to write checks to pay over due bills one day to about to go to a family reunion the next. Ah. Okay. Bullshit again. Good to know. I could tell long horrible stories about writing her checks and her family reunion. Ugh.
 
Sending hugs for those I've missed.

Three weeks! No significant slips, only a few passing doldrums. It's amazing to feel so much better, again. I can't say "all is well" yet, but there has been much improvement in many aspects of my life. I'm even going out with friends again!
 
Awesome news! Yay for you!

*HUGS*

:rose:

desertslave said:
Sending hugs for those I've missed.

Three weeks! No significant slips, only a few passing doldrums. It's amazing to feel so much better, again. I can't say "all is well" yet, but there has been much improvement in many aspects of my life. I'm even going out with friends again!
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