I used to be so into this forum

Now there are a few faces from the past. Good to see DVS posting today.

For me life ebbs and flows and there are times where time does not allow for me to be on Lit. I am travelling quite a lot with work and some countries you do not go near anything porn related and especially a forum where you can log-on. Trying to protect privacy, being as reasonable as possible is important, as lots of village idiots are out there looking to hack and post your private details. There also seem to be a few village idiots trolling the threads on Lit.

My first interaction with lit, under another user name, was back in '02-'03 as I recall. I found lit while surfing the web back then, as I have been involved in bdsm for quite a while and the Lit BDSM board was a place for me where other like minded people congregated from time to time. Lit was relatively new, back then, not so much now and the internet has exploded with all sorts of stuff. 50 Shades and the like are now more common, I still think 50 Shades is Mills and Boon on steroids.

I first read "The Story of O' back in the eighties as I was starting out in the lifestyle. And it has been a fantastic time since, lately though with a bit of a gap, but all going well that will resolve itself as it is more to do with my business life. I have not lost the desire in my brain.

I think also, people may be more cautious on Lit with revealing who they actually are. I know I am careful, but there are a few here know me and enjoy great interaction. Finding the people you can have confidence in, trust and enjoy time with, whether it be through the internet or progress to rl is always special, when you have a bdsm kink.

Y'know, I think part of the issue for me has long been that Lit is a "sex site." I used to get hate mail all the time for trying to mod picture threads, because people felt they should come here to get their rocks off. I don't get my rocks off on the internet. I come to places like this for intelligent discussion and to hang with friends. There's just kind of a cobwebby layer of drooling horndog all over Lit, and I find it hard to pick through, sometimes.

Side note - coming up on 16 years here. Damn.

Etoile said:

Y'know, I think part of the issue for me has long been that Lit is a "sex site." I used to get hate mail all the time for trying to mod picture threads, because people felt they should come here to get their rocks off. I don't get my rocks off on the internet. I come to places like this for intelligent discussion and to hang with friends. There's just kind of a cobwebby layer of drooling horndog all over Lit, and I find it hard to pick through, sometimes.

Side note - coming up on 16 years here. Damn.

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Thank you for your service.

DVS said:

If any of the people in this thread are still around, maybe they can add their two cents. Maybe some of them could even add a nickle's worth and clear this all up.

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I can't clear a thing up, sorry dear old friend.

There was a time I was deeply involved in these two BDSM related forums. I had close ongoing posting relationships with folks I deeply valued. Over time some went away. Don't know why. Then I went away for about two years. Don't really know why. Then I returned in a much more limited way. I miss old friends. I have made a few new dear friends, a few because I don't involve myself as deeply as I have in the past. But not just here, in my RL as well. I am much more reclusive.

This place is sorta like my live - death come, sometimes out of the blue. Lover ones go away for reasons unexplained. New lovers show up, you take a risk of once again loosing someone you care for by becoming involved. They go away...

So it goes.

For me, once again I woke up for another day. I sign on to Lit, so lets see who else woke up for another day...

I like it here. Being here, if only in a limited way, gives me pleasure.

Perhaps I'd fine more pleasure if I had not been visited by cancer, but then that is material for another thread. (ps: fuck you cancer).

Me, personally, just so many irons in the fire now. I don't talk about or show off my visual art in kink venues because it's just not a conversation I want to have with that other social circle, ever, via dumb self-outing. That part of my life is finally getting off the ground some in midlife, which is both everything I've ever wanted and one more incredible stressor in a sea of stressors.

Also an ironclad persona of neck-deep-in-perversion is still my "day gig" in all this, so personal and more abstract ideas about power, play and sex - well they're kind of like a pilot light on the oven, you only worry about it going out completely, you don't check it every five minutes or think about it all day.

Shankara20 said:

I can't clear a thing up, sorry dear old friend.

There was a time I was deeply involved in these two BDSM related forums. I had close ongoing posting relationships with folks I deeply valued. Over time some went away. Don't know why. Then I went away for about two years. Don't really know why. Then I returned in a much more limited way. I miss old friends. I have made a few new dear friends, a few because I don't involve myself as deeply as I have in the past. But not just here, in my RL as well. I am much more reclusive.

This place is sorta like my live - death come, sometimes out of the blue. Lover ones go away for reasons unexplained. New lovers show up, you take a risk of once again loosing someone you care for by becoming involved. They go away...

So it goes.

For me, once again I woke up for another day. I sign on to Lit, so lets see who else woke up for another day...

I like it here. Being here, if only in a limited way, gives me pleasure.

Perhaps I'd fine more pleasure if I had not been visited by cancer, but then that is material for another thread. (ps: fuck you cancer).

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There's that naked ass your neighbors see, when you go out after the morning paper. Tattoos and all, it's kind of cu...wup, nope, not going there.

I totally agree with you. Maybe a lot of this is related to age. It could also be related to working overtime every fucking day for the past eight days, with two more to go, before time off.

I've had issues in life,too. Thankfully, mine have only been financial. Murphy just can't seem to leave me the fuck alone. But, that's also for another thread.

If it's age, I think we may understand more, because of the longevity of life. You don't get old without absorbing information, knowledge and a lot of other crap, along the way. And you have to forget old technology because it conflicts with the new technology. I was a computer tech for 20 years. That shit changes every 6 months. If you don't like change, don't go into computers.

Also with age, I think we are looking for something to call home, a place where we are known and appreciated for what we know and do. I'll coin a phrase and call it the Norm syndrome. Remember Norm, from Cheers? Oh, I can see the younger crowd all rushing for Google now..."Norm? Cheers?" to find out what I mean.

To help you all out, Norm would always come into the bar to a resounding "NORM!" ovation from all of the other regulars. He preferred that bar to being at home with Vera. I wonder why (well, besides the beer).

And I think with age, we see changes that some younger people don't. That's unfortunate. I think there is a saying..."I wish I could gain all of the knowledge age has given me and still leave me years in which to use it". If there isn't a saying, I claim that as my own.

Incidentally, my best and oldest friend died about 20 years ago, at the age of 43. Heart attack, they said...at 43. His doctor failed him for not seeing it coming. His wife failed him, for not noticing the warning signs. She was an RN. He was the first of my friends to die, and unfortunately that left me alone with all of those memories we were suppose to sit around and laugh about, in our old age. I guess I can still do that, but it won't be the same.

If you happen to be in Mulvane any time, he's buried there. His name was Russ. He was a guitar player and a good one. Yes, I digress. I'm kind of known for that.

Back to the subject at hand. Like I said in another thread, even if we notice the changes, the new regulars won't. Maybe that's our knowledge with age. Maybe we just wish our friends were still here. While both of these are a part of it, we'll never be able to explain what we mean by the changes we see in Lit because they will say "it's still that way". And, I guess it still is, for the most part, but there's a difference in it that I can't point my finger at, and it nags at me.

I'm guessing with time that feeling will go away and I'll be fine. But, Wolfe was right. Even though I might be fine, it won't ever be the same.

DVS said:

Also with age, I think we are looking for something to call home, a place where we are known and appreciated for what we know and do. I'll coin a phrase and call it the Norm syndrome. Remember Norm, from Cheers? Oh, I can see the younger crowd all rushing for Google now..."Norm? Cheers?" to find out what I mean.

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Remember the movie My Dinner with Andre? When I first saw it in the early '80's I identified with Andre. Now I'm Wallace.

Really Wallace. WTF....

Well aren't we a bunch of monkeys' aunts and uncles and first cousins twice removed

Netzach said:

Also an ironclad persona of neck-deep-in-perversion is still my "day gig" in all this, so personal and more abstract ideas about power, play and sex - well they're kind of like a pilot light on the oven, you only worry about it going out completely, you don't check it every five minutes or think about it all day.

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This on so many levels. Albeit I feel like for some, just as DVS had to explain Norm, pilot lights might be explanation worthy next.

Funny how my triumphant return from a long, long, too long hiatus is to a thread devoted to the idea of either drifting away like the tide, or about how "things ain't what they used to be." Albeit exciting to see some familiar faces... er... avatars.

This site, but mainly these boards was a haven for me early on in my forays into my own sexuality. I had a jumbled mess of feelings, urges, desires, and instincts that I just couldn't put a name on. This place made it possible to identify them, explore them conceptually, and then learn from them as facets of myself. The tricky part was then the question of where did I go from there.

At the time that was a physical move across country out on my own to a place I knew no one at. Thus I was faced with the problem of how do I meet people, and BDSM, kink, and all my proclivities fell into the realm of how to go about finding like minded people, as these boards showed me there were like minded people to find.

I know that as I got more involved with the literal RL community, my time was monopolized and any interwebs-based community, no matter how dear to me, was bound to suffer less of my presence.

I went from being a young buck on here talking about chocolate, caning, and trying to figure out who I was, to being the leader of a 100 member strong BDSM community group, teaching multiple classes on kink, running demos almost every week, helping someone who I thought was a friend run their fetish website, and trying to get a master's degree all at the same time.

Then I just took a step back one day and saw how the physical "Community" that I had arrived so hard to find, well at least where I was at... sucked ass through a silly straw. I had become some twisted form of Sisyphus doomed to try and teach about the deep meaning behind all of what we did as kinksters, only to watch the boulder of "I just want to have some kinky fun with anyone and everyone regardless of safety and forsight... Oh but great talk about romanticism in kink, by the way," roll back down the hill. So I backed off from anything related to kink and other people.

I became a recluse in my own preventedness and dark thoughts. A dangerous place to be. But as Netzach put so aptly well, as always, that part of me has always lingered. Like the embers of last nights campfire (at least if you're an inexperienced camper). All it takes is one quick gust of wind and ~fwoosh~ the flames can leap once more. Oddly enough, it was a quest for an old story I once read when I first found Lit, that made me want to hop back on the saddle and see what was going on here.

Perhaps if silver linings do encompass clouds, then maybe such an outpouring of "I can relate to the feeling of drifting" could be that gust of wind our campfire needs.

DiscusDave said:

This on so many levels. Albeit I feel like for some, just as DVS had to explain Norm, pilot lights might be explanation worthy next.

Funny how my triumphant return from a long, long, too long hiatus is to a thread devoted to the idea of either drifting away like the tide, or about how "things ain't what they used to be." Albeit exciting to see some familiar faces... er... avatars.

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[snip]

Perhaps if silver linings do encompass clouds, then maybe such an outpouring of "I can relate to the feeling of drifting" could be that gust of wind our campfire needs.

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You have been gone a long time. Welcome back DiscusDave.

Any interest in reviving your Chocolate Domination Thread (starting a new one maybe?) in time for the holidays???
Speaking as a girl who has a sweet tooth... lol

Cascadia

cascadiabound said:

[snip]


You have been gone a long time. Welcome back DiscusDave.

Any interest in reviving your Chocolate Domination Thread (starting a new one maybe?) in time for the holidays???
Speaking as a girl who has a sweet tooth... lol

Cascadia

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Given the proper mix of ingredients, and ample taste testers, I'm sure the marble can be cooled and set to start the chocolatey goodness again.

DiscusDave said:

Given the proper mix of ingredients, and ample taste testers, I'm sure the marble can be cooled and set to start the chocolatey goodness again.

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*Jumps up in down in delight...

Steps up to be a taste tester and sui chef.

I have a candy thermometer. Will that help????