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A question for the Lit Goddesses

My wife has gone through extreme periods of being hot and cold, not very much time of being just warm. In her early forties, she went through an extremely hot couple of months. She had been ice cold, then, due to changes in our relationship she turned into a fireball. We were fucking multiple times a day and she seemed to really get into having her tits handled roughly and being finger banged almost to fisting. That died, and she went cold again. Yes, we talked, and all she could say was she just wasn't interested. Then a few years ago she went into a brief hot spell again. She enjoyed oral, which she never really like much before and she'd do great things like masturbating for me. It's hard for her to cum, so I think there's a correlation with her frustration there. Stress and her body image seems to really impact her desire. Menopause is also impacting her, but she doesn't see it as a problem to address medically. That's her choice and I respect that. She acknowledges the need for intimacy for the three good of our relationship, but it never goes past talk. The last time we had sex was in early November, and that was out of some sense of duty and the sex was so bad I almost would rather she not bother. She seems to think if she can get me off then everything is good. I want her to enjoy it. She's working on losing some weight and getting fit, so I hope that leads to an increase in desire.

So, it's very mysterious.
 
IARainman said:
My wife has gone through extreme periods of being hot and cold, not very much time of being just warm. In her early forties, she went through an extremely hot couple of months. She had been ice cold, then, due to changes in our relationship she turned into a fireball. We were fucking multiple times a day and she seemed to really get into having her tits handled roughly and being finger banged almost to fisting. That died, and she went cold again. Yes, we talked, and all she could say was she just wasn't interested. Then a few years ago she went into a brief hot spell again. She enjoyed oral, which she never really like much before and she'd do great things like masturbating for me. It's hard for her to cum, so I think there's a correlation with her frustration there. Stress and her body image seems to really impact her desire. Menopause is also impacting her, but she doesn't see it as a problem to address medically. That's her choice and I respect that. She acknowledges the need for intimacy for the three good of our relationship, but it never goes past talk. The last time we had sex was in early November, and that was out of some sense of duty and the sex was so bad I almost would rather she not bother. She seems to think if she can get me off then everything is good. I want her to enjoy it. She's working on losing some weight and getting fit, so I hope that leads to an increase in desire.

So, it's very mysterious.
Click to expand...

There's a definite correlation between expression of desire and how we view ourselves. My self image is massively improved when I'm being 'appreciated'. I have the ability to see myself through another's eyes. When he stops acknowledging, or saying what he thinks of me, my ability/desire to interact with him plummets.

I feel this works both ways within a loving relationship. So I do my best to always make him feel good about himself. Unfortunately, as time goes by, the favor is less often returned...

It does NOT affect the level of my desire. Just my ability to express it. We need a safe place to express it :):rose:
 
FelicityJohns said:
For me, there was a noticeable increase in desire around 35. About the same time as our intimacy dwindled. Five years later, it still seems to be on the incline.

I was always very sexual. But some days now are insane.
Click to expand...

This has been my experience as well. I noticed a big increase in my sex drive after I turned 35. I was always a sensual person, but after I entered my mid-thirties it got so intense that some days I felt like I was in heat. I wanted to wrap my legs around almost every man I saw.

I am now 39 and my libido is as high as it has ever been. Not only that, I find it that it's easier to orgasm, and that I can climax in different ways, which was not the case when I was younger. The vaginal walls do become thinner as one ages, making sexual sensation stronger and orgasm during intercourse more easily achievable. x
 
Choirg1rl said:
This has been my experience as well. I noticed a big increase in my sex drive after I turned 35. I was always a sensual person, but after I entered my mid-thirties it got so intense that some days I felt like I was in heat. I wanted to wrap my legs around almost every man I saw.

I am now 39 and my libido is as high as it has ever been. Not only that, I find it that it's easier to orgasm, and that I can climax in different ways, which was not the case when I was younger. The vaginal walls do become thinner as one ages, making sexual sensation stronger and orgasm during intercourse more easily achievable. x
Click to expand...

Heat is a good word for it! :eek::rose:
 
I had a definite surge in sex drive in my early 30s. I'd gone through long dry spells in my 20s and it didn't bother me that much - then all of a sudden sex became a much, much bigger focus. I'm 39 now and married, and it hasn't let up at all.
 
Thank you

Thanks to everyone who took the time to post a comment here
 
Bellisima

italiansexylady said:
I am over 40. My sex drive has always been high but I have noticed a remarkable increase in it over the past couple of years. I have become open to more things as well....
I hope things don't change for me.;)
Click to expand...

My friend, who just turned 40, is the same - a bit higher these last few years, but, more noticeably, a willingness to try new things, a bit on the daring side.for example, she came into my office one day last week, opened her coat, and was wearing nothing but a corset and a thong, and we fucked on my desk, very exciting! And she's half Italian half English, so maybe it's in the vino!
 
I am 28. I am on anti-depressants, which do put a damper on my sex drive. I used to masturbate more when I was not on them. Nowadays I'm still horny, but I feel my sex drive was even higher before the meds. But unfortunately, I need them just to function normally in general.
 
my sex drive seems to be increasing as i go through my thirties. i am past the halfway point and it is going stronger.
 
Mine has increased dramatically! I am 34 and I want it all the time. I am also open to new things. i am much more in tune with my own needs as well. I have learned to be more vocal and seek out what I want. Sometimes I think I want it more than some men.
 
37, and I've always had an insanely high sex drive, but the last few years have been a spike in what was already a high libido. I went through a bit of a "lull" in my early thirties where I still wanted it but it wasn't as all-consuming as other times, but then it shot back up the last couple of years.
 
In my early fifties and feel like my sex drive is stronger than ever and constantly engaged.
 
Choirg1rl said:
I was always a sensual person, but after I entered my mid-thirties it got so intense that some days I felt like I was in heat. I wanted to wrap my legs around almost every man I saw.
Click to expand...
Yes. In my early thirties my kids were tiny and I was too exhausted to think much about sex. But now that they're older, my sex drive is back with a vengeance. Some days (particularly around the middle of my cycle) "in heat" is a very good description of my state of mind. Everything I see or do has a sexual undercurrent to it.
 
Okletsgo said:
Did any of you notice a spike in your libido in you mid/late thirties and if so what was your experience?
Did it stay elevated or move back to 'normal' over time.

I'm not complaining by any means but I'm interested in what I'm in for I guess?
I've quizzed my friends who are similar age or older and I know it's not just me.
I guess if you've been there done that you might have some wisdom or humorous tales to share?

(Men -maybe you noticed this with a partner? Were you concerned/confused?)

Thanks team
Click to expand...

Yes I did for sure around the age of 40 my libido and sexual desire increased and has remained very high. In my case it's very frustrating because my husband who is older has gone in the opposite direction and so I'm left often feeling unfulfilled. My visits here and my sexual fantasies are my escape and keep me sane. xx
 
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