Route to being gay??

did anyone else go.... girls getting facials > bi porn > gay porn??

wooger said:

did anyone else go.... girls getting facials > bi porn > gay porn??

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Yup! It also helped that I wandered into some men in chatrooms that were so ravenous for cock that I finally gave into the fantasies they described, and my orgasms were intense after extended chats. Then I found Lit, and my cock hasn't had a moment of peace since

Don't do it think of the ole song, "The house of the rising sun" and what it leads to. unless you can dedicate your life fully and know you will always live in a good location like New Orleans just don't go there. phantasies all you want and happy dreams

I've looked at it but it doesn't light my fire, but I think it's a really positive side to porn. If you hadn't seen those vids then maybe you'd have never asked yourself the question? Pandora's box? Maybe, but being kept in the dark about things can never be a good thing.
I wonder how many guys are too embarrassed to watch? Or do then quickly delete history?

The route I took was giving my virginity to a male friend.

Not sure I understand your post???

Route to being gay: for me it was being born. You just don't wake up one morning and decide you are going to be gay!?

gayTopher said:

Not sure I understand your post???

Route to being gay: for me it was being born. You just don't wake up one morning and decide you are going to be gay!?

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Could be someone who thinks they are making the decision. Some people don't accept it or refuse to accept it for a long time. Could just be an ill informed misunderstanding that it takes gay porn to make someone gay. Either way, don't get defensive over it. There are so many more things to upset one in life than a random question on a sex site that has people from all walks of life.

I'm not upset, how do you arrive at that? But I still don't understand the question??

Is it: The first time you realized you were gay? Or your first gay experience? Or when did you come out?

You are either born gay or you aren't or somewhere in between. At some point later in life you realize that you are not heteronormative (gay, lesbian, bi, asexual, pan, etc. ). At some point later than that you accept it or not. That is coming out to yourself. Then again at some point later you remain in the closet or come out to others.


We all get there at different rates and methods, but generally like the above.

But with all that I'm still confused by the question. (Note that sometimes I am easily confused.

My apologies. Just with the exclamation mark and question mark after the born that way comment usually sorta tells people they are upset by the question or comment etc.

It is either someone who is asking the question to get some sorta kink out of the answers or they are legitimately confused as to how they always thought they were straight but watching too much porn has led them closer and closer to the truth and they think that must be how many others arrive at that same point in life. Just speculating.

I was essentially saying the same thing as you but in a different way as well. I just am since losing my virginity to a guy, but I also fought against those feelings for a long time.

I agree with GT, that people are attracted to one sex or another from birth - it isn't a learnt thing. But I think a lot of people have to fight through the smokescreen of "convention" to realise they are gay or trans or whatever. The trick is to actually find the path that leads to that self-realisation and when you arrive there, to know it is right for you. Family and society are both huge pressures on people to conform but hopefully an age of enlightenment is approaching... ( does that sound corny? )

That black and white of attracted to one or another from birth would be argued against by a lot of people. If it were that black and white, then you also wouldn't have so many different views on sexuality. I also believe that although some people feel it just is, there are others who go through life figuring it out along the way. I mean, are their ten different sexualities or just two? Pansexual, polysexual, bisexual etc. You cannot say only one way or the other and say you are fine with the lgbtq community as a whole. With the one or another at birth means you have just hetero and then lg. Nothing more as you describe it. I am just saying that no one is completely correct. Chose it, born with it, wanted it, who gives a fuck.

onemadvagabond said:

That black and white of attracted to one or another from birth would be argued against by a lot of people. If it were that black and white, then you also wouldn't have so many different views on sexuality. I also believe that although some people feel it just is, there are others who go through life figuring it out along the way. I mean, are their ten different sexualities or just two? Pansexual, polysexual, bisexual etc. You cannot say only one way or the other and say you are fine with the lgbtq community as a whole. With the one or another at birth means you have just hetero and then lg. Nothing more as you describe it. I am just saying that no one is completely correct. Chose it, born with it, wanted it, who gives a fuck.

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No one said black and white, but you. reread what I have posted.
As for who give a fuck...I do. I have grown up trying to hide who I was because I didn't fit the norm. Being gay was evil, wrong, whatever. I had nothing to do with how I feel. I WAS BORN THIS WAY...get it. I didn't choose this. Your condescending and dismissive attitude is what is precisely wrong and is enabling to people who CHOOSE to discriminate because we are not like you, and thus, have no right to participate in regular society.

I am not saying you are like that (that you are a bigot, no), what I am saying is that your casual nonchalance about it and about those of us who live it, diminishes all the rights that should be natural, but we had to actually fight for to attain. It ignores the struggles and lives lost. Your words hurt. A LOT.

I don't know anything about how it feels? Sure. I know that I have loved women and men so I know for a fact that I CHOSE men in the end. You didn't. That is fine. My two main points are that no matter what you believe, others won't always agree with you and that there are a lot of people who don't live in black and white, one gender or the other as stickygirl was alluding to. Yes, that was black and white.

This whole exchanging of ideas and points of view is called having a conversation about something. Even if people are greeing to disagree as well. Doesn't make one a bigot or anything else as you really want to call me. You say you aren't but you really are. Even though I consider myself gay as well. I don't totally agree with you so that makes me no better than the bigot's right?

As for not knowing what anyone goes through, bullshit. I prefer men. Makes me gay as far as I am concerned. Family, friends, coworkers are not open when it comes to gay men especially. I would love to come out to them, but I might as well be ready to move on if I do, because most won't want to have me around anymore. Those that come out to their friends and families are courageous. I have not found that courage for fear that I will lose too many. Now mind you, they don't go around yelling remarks to gay people when they see them or any of those stereotypes that some like to put on all people who don't say they are totally fine with the lgbtq community, but when it's family or someone close to you, those people don't always take that news as well either.

I am done with this conversation. Congratulations. Basically calling me a bigot will shut me up which is often the easiest way to 'win' the conversation right? Not because I am though, but because no one is allowed to disagree with you at all. Not even those who have gotten to the same feelings about their sexuality but in a different way or those who may not live in black and white but a lot of gray. Hope you have a wonderful day. You should realize though, life would be so fucking boring if everyone 100% agreed with everyone else.

I disagree

Im sure some feel or actually were born gay, but I think plenty of people have been altered by image, video, life experiences, suggestion, etc. we're all entitled to our opinion. Thats just mine. I know several peope (men and women)who never considered same sex as an interest and had experiences, some not voluntary, that led them to bisexual and homosexual experiences, bisexuality and homosexuality. Thats just my opinion. To each their own. I even think if you took a straight guy and ran him through a number of social psycho and sexual experiences, he'd seek out a cock or two on video or real life on his own, too I personally wasn't born bi or attracted to transexuals. It developed.

KinkStevens said:

Im sure some feel or actually were born gay, but I think plenty of people have been altered by image, video, life experiences, suggestion, etc. we're all entitled to our opinion. Thats just mine. I know several peope (men and women)who never considered same sex as an interest and had experiences, some not voluntary, that led them to bisexual and homosexual experiences, bisexuality and homosexuality. Thats just my opinion. To each their own. I even think if you took a straight guy and ran him through a number of social psycho and sexual experiences, he'd seek out a cock or two on video or real life on his own, too I personally wasn't born bi or attracted to transexuals. It developed.

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I agree. Nature nurture baby! Don't buy the whole born gay completely. Environment and life's experiences and exposures play a major role here.

onemadvagabond said:

Chose it, born with it, wanted it, who gives a fuck.

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Meh... This is a bit erasing IMO. There are plenty of lesbians and gays who have not come out, would much prefer not to have been born that way because of the deceit that you mention in your later post. If you say 'choose' then the hetero population can accuse them of begging legal status because of choice. People can choose to get drunk and drive a car into a bus line but people don't choose to be thrown out of their jobs or lose friends (something which you again mention below ) because of who they are or what their gender is or the colour of their skin.
If you think that is nitpicking with words, well this is Lit and people are going to respond to written words more than they might in a bar.

Husky10 said:

I agree. Nature nurture baby! Don't buy the whole born gay completely. Environment and life's experiences and exposures play a major role here.

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But are you talking fetish sexuality or being gay?

Husky10 is in my opinion and many others more correct in summing up what even many of those that point to the gene study and agree with the born this way movement. Just as with any other gene that pre-disposes you to being a certain way, environment and experiences and choice play a big role.

Having an alcoholic gene does not mean you will be an alcoholic. It just means you have a better chance of being one. Just because you have a gene for something does not automatically make it 100% certain. You have to make the life choices that lead you to the end result.

I may have come off sounding sorta pissed and that is because if myself, who is gay is having this discussion and disagreeing with another who is gay, why am I the one basically being called a bigot for not agreeing 100% with the born this way opinion. And don't say that was not what was happening, because if it were not, then it never would have been mentioned. If my disagreeing with you hurts so much, how the heck do you deal with an actual bigot?



The born this way idea although backed up by a study in a way was also taken and used for political purposes as well. It wasn't just to give a reason for being gay. Not every gay person agrees with it either. You don't think I am right, but it goes both ways just like I used to.

stickygirl said:

Meh... This is a bit erasing IMO. There are plenty of lesbians and gays who have not come out, would much prefer not to have been born that way because of the deceit that you mention in your later post. If you say 'choose' then the hetero population can accuse them of begging legal status because of choice. People can choose to get drunk and drive a car into a bus line but people don't choose to be thrown out of their jobs or lose friends (something which you again mention below ) because of who they are or what their gender is or the colour of their skin.
If you think that is nitpicking with words, well this is Lit and people are going to respond to written words more than they might in a bar.

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Denial...not just a river in Egypt.
Predisposed. We all make decisions. Live with them or try something different.
Don't make yourself a victim.
Sorry. Not much on sympathy when it comes to people making decisions,getting burned,and complaining about the outcomes.

Husky10 said:

Denial...not just a river in Egypt.
Predisposed. We all make decisions. Live with them or try something different.
Don't make yourself a victim.
Sorry. Not much on sympathy when it comes to people making decisions,getting burned,and complaining about the outcomes.

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Then maybe you're in the wrong forum?

Maybe I am.
Maybe not!
Not trying to offend. Just giving my opinion like everyone else.
My opinion remains the same. Don't be a victim. Be happy with who and what you are.
Peace.

Thumbs up

Hey Husky! You're spot on. Most people who are gay weren't 'born' gay. Maybe 'made' gay or bi, but not fresh out the womb ready to suck cock. And this is coming from someone who likes it too

Anywho

Ultimately, who cares. We all shape our own reality and interpret our past in an unique way.

KinkStevens said:

Ultimately, who cares. We all shape our own reality and interpret our past in an unique way.

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Exactly!

malecasual said:

Yup! It also helped that I wandered into some men in chatrooms that were so ravenous for cock that I finally gave into the fantasies they described, and my orgasms were intense after extended chats. Then I found Lit, and my cock hasn't had a moment of peace since

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sounds like me..i chatted on aol and mirc