SweetThickLips
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Thank you, I just might take you up on that.
so how do i broach this?
- Thread starter SweetThickLips
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Thank you, I just might take you up on that.
FantasyGir1
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You're very welcome. It's always nice to know you have someone you can PM if you don't want to post on the forums. I've been through divorce, if that's what this does, indeed, come to, and it is something you don't want to have to go through alone. (((Hugs)))
preacher72
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Thats terrible im so sorry to hear that
bhndblueyes88
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My mother wishes that her parents had divorced while her and her sister were young instead of toughing it out "for the kids". Living with parents that fight and don't love each other is just as damaging as a bad divorce. Depending on circumstances, moreso.
Coming in on the tail end of this convo.
I'm also going thru this situation. She decided she doesn't want to be married and we also have a young child.
im a few months in on my seperation and if you want to talk..please pm or email. I know how it is late at night or early in the morning..when the pain comes.
You are loved and deserving of better.
I'm also going thru this situation. She decided she doesn't want to be married and we also have a young child.
im a few months in on my seperation and if you want to talk..please pm or email. I know how it is late at night or early in the morning..when the pain comes.
You are loved and deserving of better.
Aphro
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So he's also a coward.
Perfect.
Looks like he's been holding back sexually as a way to force your hand one way or the other.
If he says he resents you because you are home with the kiddos while he's working, what if you say to him "Fine. If that's the problem, then I will get a job. Of course, we will have to find some daycare for the kids, which will cost money, but if that's what it takes then let's do it. I will start sending out resumés tomorrow, and you start looking into daycare options for our children."
But it doesn't sound like that's truly the issue at all.
Do you think he might have someone on the side? It seems bizarre to me that he is so quick to say he's moving out just like that.
Perfect.
Looks like he's been holding back sexually as a way to force your hand one way or the other.
If he says he resents you because you are home with the kiddos while he's working, what if you say to him "Fine. If that's the problem, then I will get a job. Of course, we will have to find some daycare for the kids, which will cost money, but if that's what it takes then let's do it. I will start sending out resumés tomorrow, and you start looking into daycare options for our children."
But it doesn't sound like that's truly the issue at all.
Do you think he might have someone on the side? It seems bizarre to me that he is so quick to say he's moving out just like that.
SweetThickLips
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I pretty positive that there isn't anyone else. He's either at work (male dominated field) or home with us. I also *think*, hope, it was just a gut reaction because of what I said. He was acting normal all morning and as he left he came and gave me a kiss goodbye which he usually doesn't do anymore.
I guess for now, I'm going to assume we are separating and start preparing for that. If he decides to talk to me about last night, then we'll go from there. I'm not going to sit around and do nothing to secure my, or my kids, immediate future. All I know is, I can't continue to live like this and I won't.
I guess for now, I'm going to assume we are separating and start preparing for that. If he decides to talk to me about last night, then we'll go from there. I'm not going to sit around and do nothing to secure my, or my kids, immediate future. All I know is, I can't continue to live like this and I won't.
Collar_N_Cuffs
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Maybe he just needed to blow off some steam, and didn't know how to do that without an angry blurt. It might be the beginning of communication from him. It's just tough once you start getting to the teetering point...
midwestyankee
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Quoted for truth.
@SweetThickLips, when I read that he said he resents you, I had a similar reaction to C_N_C's - that he's living in a state of anger that he probably doesn't fully understand. It's entirely possible that he has built up a feeling of resentment since you first became pregnant and the changes in your body and in your actions to carry out the responsibilities of motherhood began to change his life in ways that he can't control. Many men grow up believing that they are supposed to control their lives like a wizard with unseen machinery. It doesn't really work that way but a lot of men only find out the hard way.
subwannabe
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Hope it all works out. Just out of curiosity, would you be willing to find some part time work, if that will straighten him out? It might kill a few birds with just one stone (maybe). Now please, don't let me get lectured by the women here because in no way did I imply that you sit around the house being a lazy bum. This actually brings to mind a story I think I read in Dear Abby a long time ago. It was about a family where the man implied that he worked hard all day and was jealous because his wife didn't do anything all day while he was at work (except for taking care of the kids). One day soon after that he came home from work and the house looked like a tornado had gone through it and he asked, "what the heck happened"? The wife replied, "Remember the other day when you asked what I did all day? Well today I didn't do it."
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redzinger
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It may not just be the work thing, it may be that he doesn't get to spend time with the kids either, especially while they're at a young age. (Although if you split, he'll be spending even less time with them.)
Something else could still be going on.
Do you still love him?
SweetThickLips
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subwannabe
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Sounds like you both really need some counseling. I don't see how he can resent you for being a stay at home mom if you could have had a job and he said, "don't worry about it, we'll make it through". Is it possible he feels like a loser or has lost self confidence in himself because he wants you to be a stay at home mom but, for whatever reason, things are tougher than he was expecting? I'm in a similar situation like that myself. I own my own business and my wife is a stay at home mom and business has been down lately, depressing me because somehow I feel like it is my fault and we are really on the fence as to whether she needs to get a job or not. It kinds of tears at your manliness.
lukng4fun
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Sub's advice is the best. Seek outside counsel because he or she will ask a lot of questions to find out details. First of all, since there may hostility if you try to talk to your husband, go by yourself. Get help for yourself first. The counselor may either be a sex therapist or another psychologist.
One of the main issues is you are so close to the situation, clouds your decision making.
One of the main issues is you are so close to the situation, clouds your decision making.
FurryFury
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*hugs*
I'm so sorry to see you going through this. He may come around and you may be done if you get the help you need.
Let me just say the kids don't have to be "as messed up as you were" if you divorce. They might be relieved if there is great tension in the house. I know I was. Then when my idiot parents got back together I was very upset. I didn't want it.
No matter how things work out I believe that you can make a very good life for you and your kids after the smoke clears and the rebuilding begins.
I'm so sorry to see you going through this. He may come around and you may be done if you get the help you need.
Let me just say the kids don't have to be "as messed up as you were" if you divorce. They might be relieved if there is great tension in the house. I know I was. Then when my idiot parents got back together I was very upset. I didn't want it.
No matter how things work out I believe that you can make a very good life for you and your kids after the smoke clears and the rebuilding begins.
zathras52003
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Wife and I went through a similar stage- sort of. I was spending a lot of time in another room on the computer. It wasn't just hurting our sex life. It was separating me from the family overall. In my case, she confronted me about it and I have been working very hard to be a better husband- doing simple stuff like cleaning up the kitchen and not spending alone time in the bedroom unless I am about to turn off the light. Hope it goes well for you- my post seems a little simplistic now that I have read it.
lukng4fun
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When communication works, it is simple. Speak, Receive, Respond.
Also interesting word you used "confronted", your response was great, although it could have gone differently. You have a great partner and marriage, keep working on it.
zathras52003
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Thanks! Constant work- glad she took that first step. I cannot guarantee everyone will work out the same, unfortunately. I could have been just as likely to dig my heels in. I would love to say I am always open to feedback on my shortcomings, but I am just as much of an ass as any other guy.
annikasfury
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I came in at the end of this thread I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Until I got to the end, where he said he was leaving, I figured he was probably cheating on you. My ex acted exactly the same way when he started cheating on me. I hope everything worked out for you. It did for me. I left him, with our kids, and we have a much better life now. I just mean to say that even if things end badly, that doesn't mean that things won't get better later. Maybe the person you are really meant to be with is still out there, looking for you.
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. Until I got to the end, where he said he was leaving, I figured he was probably cheating on you. My ex acted exactly the same way when he started cheating on me. I hope everything worked out for you. It did for me. I left him, with our kids, and we have a much better life now. I just mean to say that even if things end badly, that doesn't mean that things won't get better later. Maybe the person you are really meant to be with is still out there, looking for you.Happy_and_horny
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It's both fuckable and eatable, and I'd love to have someone like you willing to let me gorge myself on them. The thought of making your hot pussy orgasm has got me hard!!
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