So i'm new here and I feel like this is going to sound really stupid but I hope at least one person will listen to me. I turned 18 this summer and I very seriously want to go missing. im a virgin and while to done that doesn't matter, it means I've never been far with a guy. I want someone who can dominate me and help me not hate life and myself. Its probably stupid but I can't help it. I'm just really sick of feeling useless.
can someone help me?
- Thread starter kira6384
- Start date
NiceNastyMann
Literotica Guru
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Not stupid, and you will have lots of people who will listen to you. I think you should go over to the BDSM talk or how to areas though...
It sounds like you want to talk with someone and not necessarily roleplay. Just a guess.
its more or less i want to matter to someone
NiceNastyMann
Literotica Guru
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Hmmm. Relationships here are often fleeting. That can cause a lot of a different kind of pain. Just beware of that.
RawHumor
Creepers Gotta Creep
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Please find a different outlet for what you are seeking.
The guys who respond most enthusiastically to this ad will very likely be the very last ones you'd want to give yourself to.
Find a church in your area or a book club or something. I fear the Lit sharks will come to prowl and you'll jump into their jaws.
The guys who respond most enthusiastically to this ad will very likely be the very last ones you'd want to give yourself to.
Find a church in your area or a book club or something. I fear the Lit sharks will come to prowl and you'll jump into their jaws.
Laurel
Kitty Mama
- Joined
- Aug 27, 1999
- Posts
- 20,678
This.
I totally understand why you're doing what you're doing. I was 18 once, and I had pretty gnarly self-esteem issues. I will tell you this from experience: the attention you're seeking is not going to make you feel better. Even if every guy here tells you you're beautiful, you will still feel shitty and crave more attention.
Believe this: no one can love you till you love yourself.
The only way this can happen is via non-sexual changes in your life. You need to go out and do things. You need to accomplish things - learn a language, learn to play an instrument, do crafting, whatever, doesn't matter what it is. Get busy. Do whatever it takes so that you aren't sitting around stewing in your own head.
Sitting around on the Internet will not help you. A million people complimenting you will not help you.
I'm here if you need to talk. Just drop me a PM.
sup
I thought about things after PMing you and after coming back to this thread and seeing others who posted I have to say Istill stand by what I said but I also felt others should hear it. Kira I think we all get why you're on here probably to some extent more than you get it yourself. If I've learnt anything in my 19 years of life and let me tell you I'm in a similar situation to you its that no matter what you are never useless. As long as you can bring a smile to somebody's face or just help somebody out you aren't useless. The moment you were born and made your parents smile is the moment you proved your worth.
What you want is to be important to someone, to feel needed and you know what you are, the fact that you lived till 18 proves somebody must have taken care of you. The fact that a few people in this thread have said to look after yourself proves it as well. This life whilst hard and annoying is very much a great thing because only by living can you smile, only by living can you feel happiness. I was told once you were born a winner because you were the person who was born and you know what that is true but also keep in mind you can't lose as long as you try. Because every mistake grants knowledge and experience that can help out others or even yourself, even your shortcomings can make you sympathise with others. Everything you do can have a positive effect on somebody else.
I feel it doesn't help that you are comparing yourself to others, remember just because you are a virgin at 18 doesn't mean anything after all there will be people who lose their virginity at 14 and there will be those that lose it at 40. I feel if that instead of comparing yourself to others compare yourself to the you from a while back. For example with me I found it hard to make friends as I hated school so much growing up I would constantly fake illness. Now however I attend a college course where I am a student rep and have good grades but what changed wasn't the school it was me. I matured and you will too, you will grow up and change tomorrow or the day after for the rest of your life. For all you know you might meet the man of your dreams tomorrow or not for a year or even maybe 2 but even so this man isn't here at the moment and you shouldn't just pin all you self worth on him because you are worth something to somebody like laurel said if you can't love yourself who else can?
Finally I think that maybe you should save your virginity from I mean think about imagine when you meet this guy and tell him you trust him enough to experience something so important with him, he will probably feel very special. And you will make him feel that way. Finally my earlier offer still stands if you want to fantasize and explore I will be happy to write some stories with you, because like the rest of us you want to learn about your fetishes and your personal feelings towards sex. If so PM me I promise to never judge you or anyone else for whatever it is that makes you who you are after all, he who judges others is really only judging himself. And I feel that judgement can only hold people back from beinh who they really want.
So in the end if you or anybody else gets a nudge in the right direction because of what I said then you helped me become the good person eho helps others like I want to be. So please respect yourself and learn that you are the only you in the world, the only important and awesome you in the world so smile and have a good day.
I thought about things after PMing you and after coming back to this thread and seeing others who posted I have to say Istill stand by what I said but I also felt others should hear it. Kira I think we all get why you're on here probably to some extent more than you get it yourself. If I've learnt anything in my 19 years of life and let me tell you I'm in a similar situation to you its that no matter what you are never useless. As long as you can bring a smile to somebody's face or just help somebody out you aren't useless. The moment you were born and made your parents smile is the moment you proved your worth.
What you want is to be important to someone, to feel needed and you know what you are, the fact that you lived till 18 proves somebody must have taken care of you. The fact that a few people in this thread have said to look after yourself proves it as well. This life whilst hard and annoying is very much a great thing because only by living can you smile, only by living can you feel happiness. I was told once you were born a winner because you were the person who was born and you know what that is true but also keep in mind you can't lose as long as you try. Because every mistake grants knowledge and experience that can help out others or even yourself, even your shortcomings can make you sympathise with others. Everything you do can have a positive effect on somebody else.
I feel it doesn't help that you are comparing yourself to others, remember just because you are a virgin at 18 doesn't mean anything after all there will be people who lose their virginity at 14 and there will be those that lose it at 40. I feel if that instead of comparing yourself to others compare yourself to the you from a while back. For example with me I found it hard to make friends as I hated school so much growing up I would constantly fake illness. Now however I attend a college course where I am a student rep and have good grades but what changed wasn't the school it was me. I matured and you will too, you will grow up and change tomorrow or the day after for the rest of your life. For all you know you might meet the man of your dreams tomorrow or not for a year or even maybe 2 but even so this man isn't here at the moment and you shouldn't just pin all you self worth on him because you are worth something to somebody like laurel said if you can't love yourself who else can?
Finally I think that maybe you should save your virginity from I mean think about imagine when you meet this guy and tell him you trust him enough to experience something so important with him, he will probably feel very special. And you will make him feel that way. Finally my earlier offer still stands if you want to fantasize and explore I will be happy to write some stories with you, because like the rest of us you want to learn about your fetishes and your personal feelings towards sex. If so PM me I promise to never judge you or anyone else for whatever it is that makes you who you are after all, he who judges others is really only judging himself. And I feel that judgement can only hold people back from beinh who they really want.
So in the end if you or anybody else gets a nudge in the right direction because of what I said then you helped me become the good person eho helps others like I want to be. So please respect yourself and learn that you are the only you in the world, the only important and awesome you in the world so smile and have a good day.
Laurel
Kitty Mama
- Joined
- Aug 27, 1999
- Posts
- 20,678
Kira, I wrote this for someone else but you might find it helpful:
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=61544147
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=61544147
Touch_72
Incorrigible Flirt
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2013
- Posts
- 1,633
What Laurel said below is VERY good advice. I don't think that it means you should not be on Lit at all, but do think the huge point it makes is that Lit is NOT the source of what you need - find that in real life and find it in yourself. Put your focus there, not here.
What was said above about Lit relationships is also very true: they can be fleeting and though you get a rush, there is a crash at the end of the rush. I've seen many women hurting on Lit in the wake of an intense fling or online relationship here. Trust those who say that's not the solution you need... it can put you on a roller coaster at a time when you need something more steady... something that, as Laurel said, comes more from within yourself.
What was said above about Lit relationships is also very true: they can be fleeting and though you get a rush, there is a crash at the end of the rush. I've seen many women hurting on Lit in the wake of an intense fling or online relationship here. Trust those who say that's not the solution you need... it can put you on a roller coaster at a time when you need something more steady... something that, as Laurel said, comes more from within yourself.
This.
I totally understand why you're doing what you're doing. I was 18 once, and I had pretty gnarly self-esteem issues. I will tell you this from experience: the attention you're seeking is not going to make you feel better. Even if every guy here tells you you're beautiful, you will still feel shitty and crave more attention.
Believe this: no one can love you till you love yourself.
The only way this can happen is via non-sexual changes in your life. You need to go out and do things. You need to accomplish things - learn a language, learn to play an instrument, do crafting, whatever, doesn't matter what it is. Get busy. Do whatever it takes so that you aren't sitting around stewing in your own head.
Sitting around on the Internet will not help you. A million people complimenting you will not help you.
I'm here if you need to talk. Just drop me a PM.
NiceNastyMann
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2011
- Posts
- 1,794
Kira, I wrote this for someone else but you might find it helpful:
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=61544147
'...You're not damaged. There's nothing wrong with you. You're fine...'
Lot of good advice in this thread Kira - and folks that have offered to listen. You should take them up on that.
collector_guide
Experienced
- Joined
- May 10, 2013
- Posts
- 77
I've seen many women who have been broken and mentally or emotionally destroyed by their past find great meaning and purpose by accepting a submissive place. But it has to be done the right way and with the right people. The above posters raise very good points. You'll be flooded with messages from men who think just because the call themselves dominant that you owe them full obedience because you call yourself submissive. In order for that submission to be the safe place you need, use some caution, do research to learn about the lifestyle and yourself.
You seen like a very hurt girl. My concern is you're so in need of change to leave that hurt you rush into something worse.
You seen like a very hurt girl. My concern is you're so in need of change to leave that hurt you rush into something worse.
Harold_Hill
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2014
- Posts
- 378
You're just 18 - - you haven't even tasted adult life yet! When you are a child, you don't have much control over your life, but when you become an adult, your life is to do with as you please. So, give yourself a break and make your life into what you want it to be.
legion1054
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2013
- Posts
- 188
I concur with what Laurel and this gentleman said. The internet is a wonderful and open place. However their are many many people on here looking for pray. IF you are looking into BDSM, the forum here is a good one. I also highly recommend going to munches in your area. What are munches? Well think of them as a RL BDSM forum in a place with food. People talk about all sorts of things, not just Whips, chains, floggers and the exciting stuff. They are also a good place for information about the life and usually have really nice and friendly people. Not just Doms either plenty of Subs/bottoms male and female that you can talk to about their experiences ect. I would also point you to a site called Fetlife. This is a great tool for getting information in general and about your local scene. Since you are young I would also recommend one of your local TNG (The Next Generation) BDSM groups. These are groups specifically set up for the younger members of the kink community.
Well Hope that helps.
