How should I pay to lose my virginity?

fuck cash

credit card is the best way. cash you lose forever credit card you can dispute the charges if its not what you thought

Nezhul said:

If a random women walked up to me on the street, asked for my name and said she liked me - then I'd be flattered as hell.

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How you would feel in that situation, as a guy, is not terribly informative about how a woman would feel. Women learn to be very cautious about "compliments" from strange men because of interactions like this:

GUY: You look really pretty.
WOMAN: Thank you.
GUY: Wanna see my dick?
WOMAN: No.
GUY: Why you gotta be such a bitch? I was just trying to be nice. You know what, you're ugly, I was just being charitable before.

Or occasionally stuff like this.

I leave my profile gender-neutral and I still get creepers who read me as female offer a "compliment" as an entrée to "wannafuck".

When you say "you're pretty, what's your name?" to a woman who doesn't know you, you are not making her feel flattered. You're putting her in a situation where she has to do an on-the-spot risk assessment. That's not a fun experience. If you like women, don't do this.

When you say "you're pretty, what's your name?" to a woman who doesn't know you, you are not making her feel flattered. You're putting her in a situation where she has to do an on-the-spot risk assessment. That's not a fun experience. If you like women, don't do this.

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I'm sorry could you please repeat that again? Apparently I'm CLUELESS. I can't believe that guy honestly suggested that approach to me.

You've repeated over and over that you want to "just get laid". That you don't want any relationship. No connection.

Yea. That's what you are saying and that's what I'm thinking.
That's what everybody else thinks in this thread, haven't you noticed?

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Yes I just want to get laid, doesn't mean I'm expecting to get laid in a mere 5 minutes or so of meeting someone. I just don't want a COMMITTED relationship that is all. sheesh how many times am I repeating this?

Do you think that if you date a girl she automatically wants something serious from you? No.

But don't reduce this to sex. If all you want "just sex" from her, then read above about where you should put your dick in, as well as friendly sentiments of hopes that you never cross a woman again.

Again, don't treat a woman like a sex toy. But that doesn't mean that you automatically should treat her like something serious. You can be perfectly clear about that. And still have a girlfriend and fuck her. And then part with her.

And look, I don't mean to sound rude, but you have troubles wooing even one woman. And yet you already talk about exclusivity of your sex and stuff, as if you are planning to have 10 women and have sex with all of them.

Be real. At this pace you are lucky if you get one girl in your life, let alone several.

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No I don't think that but it doesn't change the fact that most girls take dates as a chance to evaluate a guy for the specific purpose.

I don't want to get a girlfriend,fuck them then leave, I actually take those types of relationships more serious and treat them with more respect than that. I don't want to get a girlfriend as a means to an end and then leave them once I'm satisfied with them BECAUSE THAT'S WRONG.

And uh actually I plan to get laid by at least two women, after that I'm fully prepared to just get laid by paying for them. Again with the bland assumptions abut me.

Thing is, sexual relationship and friendship - are not different AT ALL. The only difference is intercourse or lack of it. Otherwise you do your best to stay good friends with her, entertain each other, support and cheer each other up. The same thing that friends do.

The root of your failures is exactly that by feeling an attraction to her you forget ehr as a friend, as a person. You view her as a pussy, not as a friend. And she will feel that, and she will say "no" to you because of that.

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Annnd the intercourse is what I want. If I feel sexual attraction and desires towards a girl I will have interest in having intercourse with them. It doesn't mean I still don't see them as a friend they will just be a friend that I would like to fuck. Just because you want to fuck a friend doesn't mean EVERYONE will think that's their only value yet another thing I had to repeat.

Go to your local pickup training site and find out.

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What the hell is a local pickup training site???

This Thread is just stupid

yukonnights said:

This Thread is just stupid

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The overly judgemental posts are just making it worse.

Bramblethorn said:

How you would feel in that situation, as a guy, is not terribly informative about how a woman would feel. Women learn to be very cautious about "compliments" from strange men because of interactions like this:

GUY: You look really pretty.
WOMAN: Thank you.
GUY: Wanna see my dick?
WOMAN: No.
GUY: Why you gotta be such a bitch? I was just trying to be nice. You know what, you're ugly, I was just being charitable before.

Or occasionally stuff like this.

I leave my profile gender-neutral and I still get creepers who read me as female offer a "compliment" as an entrée to "wannafuck".

When you say "you're pretty, what's your name?" to a woman who doesn't know you, you are not making her feel flattered. You're putting her in a situation where she has to do an on-the-spot risk assessment. That's not a fun experience. If you like women, don't do this.

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Don't compare internet and real life, please. I don't know where you are from, but this type of conversation is not only uncommon here - you will get rightfully kicked in the nuts for much smaller molesting.

Forums? Internet? Yes, that happens. That's why meeting on the net is MUCH harder.

Or are you keeping a neutral gender profile in real life, lol?

When you say "you're pretty, what's your name?" to a woman who doesn't know you, you are not making her feel flattered. You're putting her in a situation where she has to do an on-the-spot risk assessment. That's not a fun experience. If you like women, don't do this.

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I don't know where you are from, but here, in Russia, that works perfectly fine. And women smile and respond positively. Of course you get turned down a lot, but mostly because they may already have a boyfriend or something. And let me tell you, as far ass social interactions go, Russia is not nearly the most open to communication culture, and a pretty gloomy at that.

I've got several phone numbers in my life that way, and as far as I know, it's not an uncommon thing to do. You just need to look presentable to do that, because you are basically judged on the spot. But not for how much danger you are, but for how good you are.

I don't know what risk assessment are you talking about. Are you saying that because I like her and have the guts to approach I'm more likely to be a maniac? Or that I would attack her or molest her in broad daylight?
Come on, this is stupid.

And even if she happens to be the one to be creeped out. That's her mind's problems. All you need to remedy that is to act friendly and polite, smile and wish her a great day and happiness and go your way.
That's all I do when I get turned down, and all I ever got were smiles.

I was you 25-30 years ago. I was slightly better than I expect you are about talking to people. Dated a little and awkwardly Got married and did that for a couple of decades. Single again, I had to learn to approach women, got reasonably proficient, got laid, then laid some more. These days I live as you do, more or less, but have few concerns about getting laid. Haven't bothered in quite a while, and am OK with that.

"Losing" your virginity is meaningless. It will not change how you feel about yourself or help ypu particularly with a hypothetical future time other than de-mystifying it. The easiest way to demystify it is simply believe us about what it does and does not mean. Hear us now and believe us later, as Hans and Franz used to say.

It's perfectly okay to go through life without having checked that box, especially since it doesn't appear to be an actual bucket list item for you. You don't seem to be excited and enthused about the possibility of putting your penis in an actual vagina. If it's simply adding to your level of anxiety, why bother? Nobody needs to know you're a virgin and it doesn't particularly matter if it's not a step on your road towards some sort of traditional future relationship.

Sex, at least for me, is only interesting and fulfilling if there's a human dynamic to it. From what you're writing I suspect that you would find that to be true for you as well. You do seem concerned about whether or not the person is looking forward to having sex with you and you feel concerned that it will be somehow ruined for you if they simply allow you to have sex with them rather than desire to have sex with you. That's not an unreasonable worry, and I personally think that that actually does matter. To me. Possibly for you. If you think that matters, it probably does. There are people that are wired in a way that makes sex even with little attachment fun and exciting for them. It's useful to know what it is you need or don't need in that regard.

Sex can be incredibly warm, fulfilling and validating. It can also be cold and distant. I recommend the former; I recommend avoiding the latter.

You need to develop better interpersonal skills simply because it's important to your survival as a human being. It's good to get validation and encouragement and warmth from other people. Sex is on your mind but it truly is the least of your worries.

Nezul is dead-on about approaches. Approaches work. It gets easier with each one. Don't listen to anyone about it's somehow being inappropriate to talk to people that you find attractive. It's entirely appropriate and normal. Obviously your social interactions aren't quite normal that's fine. You're awkward, it'll show that you're awkward, but it'll show that you have some courage to try to get past your awkwardness. It's okay to even say that, "Hey listen I feel a little awkward saying this but I find you attractive and I just wanted to say that." There's nothing even remotely offensive or inappropriate about telling someone that you find them attractive. Anyone who thinks that or would object to that needs to have their head examined. I don't tend to lead with that because attractive people usually have some idea they're attractive and there's always something else to talk about.

I only mention that because that seemed it come up as a topic in this thread. I, personally, don't think you're anywhere near ready for that. Just start talking to people: men, women, couples -doesn't matter- just open your mouth, and say something goofy, doesn't matter what you say. Just get over the idea that other people that you bump into in the course of your day are off-limits to you interacting with them. Just try it; it's fun.

I have a relatively young client whose developmental age is probably even below that. He's a little bit awkward but friendly and outgoing. I buy him breakfast just about every morning we usually go through the drive-through at the same place. It's not something that I even put any particular thought into but the drive-through girl usually laughs at something that I say to her. It's sort of noncommittally flirty. I hadn't really thought about it but my young client noticed it and pointed it out saying, "You have a way that always get the girls to laugh." I just explained to him that everybody likes to laugh and there's something funny about every situation you can possibly think of. Come to think of it, she has been leaning halfway out the window lately. . .

Ladyrookie123 said:

No amount of attempts to try to force a false impression on me is going to change the fact that I personally KNOW the reason why I'm still a 30 year old virgin, and it's certainty not because I disrespect women like ALOT of you keep trying to say.

because if that was the case I wouldn't have had chances to lose my virginity or had female friends in the past. I'm still a virgin because I screwed up the chances I had when girls actually did try to pursue me to have sex and now that I'm older and actually want to have sex I'm out of the loop and my element.

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Your core problem, then and now, is that you are giving off a needy vibe, because you are, understandably, needy. I seriously doubt that women find you threatening or creepy in the stranger danger way. More likely, the picture you taking rejection mortally, or being clingy if they give you a try. Don't be that guy. Insouciant is key.

I found this passage to be sort of interesting because it suggests that you may have some asexual tendencies. Which is fine- you don't have to have a strong desire to have sex with other people. It almost sounds like having sex with other people is something that you've talked yourself into needing. You could also be a late-bloomer just awaking to this need tgat seems primal to a lot of people. That seems unlikely in males at such a late age though unless there is some reason for interruption in development. Heavy repressive background, abuse, something like that.

I obviously can't know that and it sounds to me like you probably haven't really explored any thinking along those lines either.

Because of your inexperience with all things sexual I don't think you have a point of reference to understand what it is people are telling you here. It isn't that in your day-to-day life you're an asshole to women or that you have any such intentions but your view of women and their sexuality and their needs is not developed. I don't mean that as a dig I mean you have not developed and flourished into being understanding about women's sexuality which is predictable because you have no experience with women's sexuality.

Na - it has just become a total freak side show - Ladyrookie123 now wears the "Chris" crown.

Total and complete bullshit nonsense...

and that has just provided another 2 seconds of attention.

Conager said:

I was you 25-30 years ago. I was slightly better than I expect you are about talking to people. Dated a little and awkwardly Got married and did that for a couple of decades. Single again, I had to learn to approach women, got reasonably proficient, got laid, then laid some more. These days I live as you do, more or less, but have few concerns about getting laid. Haven't bothered in quite a while, and am OK with that.

"Losing" your virginity is meaningless. It will not change how you feel about yourself or help ypu particularly with a hypothetical future time other than de-mystifying it. The easiest way to demystify it is simply believe us about what it does and does not mean. Hear us now and believe us later, as Hans and Franz used to say.

It's perfectly okay to go through life without having checked that box, especially since it doesn't appear to be an actual bucket list item for you. You don't seem to be excited and enthused about the possibility of putting your penis in an actual vagina. If it's simply adding to your level of anxiety, why bother? Nobody needs to know you're a virgin and it doesn't particularly matter if it's not a step on your road towards some sort of traditional future relationship.

Sex, at least for me, is only interesting and fulfilling if there's a human dynamic to it. From what you're writing I suspect that you would find that to be true for you as well. You do seem concerned about whether or not the person is looking forward to having sex with you and you feel concerned that it will be somehow ruined for you if they simply allow you to have sex with them rather than desire to have sex with you. That's not an unreasonable worry, and I personally think that that actually does matter. To me. Possibly for you. If you think that matters, it probably does. There are people that are wired in a way that makes sex even with little attachment fun and exciting for them. It's useful to know what it is you need or don't need in that regard.

Sex can be incredibly warm, fulfilling and validating. It can also be cold and distant. I recommend the former; I recommend avoiding the latter.

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Sir You're at the age where you don't care about it anymore especially since you've done it a few times, I'm at the age where I do care about the fact that I still haven't. I'd like to find out for myself how sex feels and how I'll respond to it plain and simple. I deserve the chance to find out for myself instead of people trying to persuade me to not care and tell me "It's okay to be a virgin." When I personally am not okay with it.

And I DO want to have intercourse ALOT but I want the person to want to with me as well as I've kept saying alot by now. I also want to be honest about my virginity instead of feel it's something I have to hide when it's still supposed to be a natural phase that EVERYONE has gone through at one point.

Yes I would prefer the warm,fulfilling parts of sex, but for my first time I'd be okay with the cold and distant part.

You need to develop better interpersonal skills simply because it's important to your survival as a human being. It's good to get validation and encouragement and warmth from other people. Sex is on your mind but it truly is the least of your worries.

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I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to say here.

Nezul is dead-on about approaches. Approaches work. It gets easier with each one. Don't listen to anyone about it's somehow being inappropriate to talk to people that you find attractive. It's entirely appropriate and normal. Obviously your social interactions aren't quite normal that's fine. You're awkward, it'll show that you're awkward, but it'll show that you have some courage to try to get past your awkwardness. It's okay to even say that, "Hey listen I feel a little awkward saying this but I find you attractive and I just wanted to say that." There's nothing even remotely offensive or inappropriate about telling someone that you find them attractive. Anyone who thinks that or would object to that needs to have their head examined. I don't tend to lead with that because attractive people usually have some idea they're attractive and there's always something else to talk about.

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Hmmmm, I suppose I can start by with that kind of suggestion. It'll make me feel like I'm in high school again though and that embarrasses me a little.

I only mention that because that seemed it come up as a topic in this thread. I, personally, don't think you're anywhere near ready for that. Just start talking to people: men, women, couples -doesn't matter- just open your mouth, and say something goofy, doesn't matter what you say. Just get over the idea that other people that you bump into in the course of your day are off-limits to you interacting with them. Just try it; it's fun.

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Oh yes I agree randomly having conversations with people is fun. I can talk to guys and children with ease even now...BUT with girls who I may be attracted to it's gotten harder since my desires to get laid awakened.

I appreciate your reasonable approach with your advice, it's nice to you don't seem like you're looking down on me at least.

Conager said:

Your core problem, then and now, is that you are giving off a needy vibe, because you are, understandably, needy. I seriously doubt that women find you threatening or creepy in the stranger danger way. More likely, the picture you taking rejection mortally, or being clingy if they give you a try. Don't be that guy. Insouciant is key.

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I won't be that guy, I would just take rejection with disappointment and just try to move past it. I wouldn't do anything cringy like beg for chance or ask for why am I not good enough. The most I'd do is offer if perhaps we could just be friends if they're willing. Though if anything I'd think in public I'm giving off a scared vibe.

I found this passage to be sort of interesting because it suggests that you may have some asexual tendencies. Which is fine- you don't have to have a strong desire to have sex with other people. It almost sounds like having sex with other people is something that you've talked yourself into needing. You could also be a late-bloomer just awaking to this need tgat seems primal to a lot of people. That seems unlikely in males at such a late age though unless there is some reason for interruption in development. Heavy repressive background, abuse, something like that.

I obviously can't know that and it sounds to me like you probably haven't really explored any thinking along those lines either.

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......I never masturbated at all nor have I had an orgasm until I was 27, and once I took that step that's when I awakened and my hunger for sex started. It doesn't help that each time I masturbate it just leaves me more and more thirsty for it and leaves me depressed and frustrated that I'm still not getting it. Up until I was 27 I had either absolutely no interest in full blown intercourse or light interest. There's my development interruption...

Because of your inexperience with all things sexual I don't think you have a point of reference to understand what it is people are telling you here. It isn't that in your day-to-day life you're an asshole to women or that you have any such intentions but your view of women and their sexuality and their needs is not developed. I don't mean that as a dig I mean you have not developed and flourished into being understanding about women's sexuality which is predictable because you have no experience with women's sexuality.

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Excuse me?? I'm not inexperienced in ALL things sexual, I just haven't done intercourse before. but I've done alot of other sexual things in the past and have had sexual things(Though I never let them finish) done to me.

Nezhul said:

Don't compare internet and real life, please.

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People on the internet are real people. It happens on real computers. Stuff that happens on the internet is real life.

Or are you keeping a neutral gender profile in real life, lol?

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Truer than you know.

I don't know where you are from, but here, in Russia, that works perfectly fine.

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Considering that the Duma just voted overwhelmingly in favour of decriminalising domestic violence, I am not certain that I want to follow Russian precedent on this sort of thing.

And women smile and respond positively. Of course you get turned down a lot, but mostly because they may already have a boyfriend or something.

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Er...

Single women very often say "I have a boyfriend" as a way of deflecting unwelcome male attention. Because, unfortunately, many men are more willing to respect another guy's "property" than to respect an honest "I'm not interested".

Women also have a hell of a lot of practice in smiling at guys, whether or not they actually mean it, because women get judged far more harshly than men for unfriendliness. And in this particular context, being abrupt with a guy increases the chance that he'll react badly to rejection.

The fact that a woman smiles and says "I have a boyfriend" does NOT necessarily mean that she's comfortable with the situation.

I don't know what risk assessment are you talking about. Are you saying that because I like her and have the guts to approach I'm more likely to be a maniac? Or that I would attack her or molest her in broad daylight?

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The risk assessment that involves questions like: if I say no, is this guy going to argue with me? Harass me? Try to follow me home? What do I need to do to preserve my safety here?

If you stop and listen to women instead of seeing things only from your personal experience, you might find that many have had unpleasant experiences with guys who would not take "no" for an answer.

And even if she happens to be the one to be creeped out. That's her mind's problems.

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An attitude of "if I make her scared and uncomfortable, that's her problem"? That is creepy.

I don't tend to lead with that because attractive people usually have some idea they're attractive and there's always something else to talk about.

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That's true, I just gave the simplest examples. There are literally dozens if not hundreds ways to start a conversation with a stranger.

Also attractiveness is relative. I find a lot of girls attractive who think that they are OK at most, but definitely not super-hot.

Considering that the Duma just voted overwhelmingly in favour of decriminalising domestic violence

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They decriminalized spanking children, basically. Which in my mind is a proper tool of education. I mean I got spanked, I don't think anything's wrong with my life because of that.

They did it so that parents would not go to JAIL over spanking. Which was sick. Ruining a family for what was an acceptable way of educationg and teaching small children for thousends of years - and hey, humanity survived somehow.
In some US schools apankings with a paddle are still appropriate, and you are telling me Russia is messed up for allowing spanking your own child with a hand?

Grow up.

They didn't decriminalize domestic VIOLENCE, the news articles just made it sound like that for you, so that you fear the Big Bad Russia more. Any bodily harm will still land you into jail. Even a bruise will get you into court.

So I really think you should stop judging about Russia by the news articles.

Single women very often say "I have a boyfriend" as a way of deflecting unwelcome male attention.

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So? If it's unwelcome to them, they have their reasons. It's totally fine.

The fact that a woman smiles and says "I have a boyfriend" does NOT necessarily mean that she's comfortable with the situation.

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It doesn't mean she's not, no matter what your Highmightiness Whiteknighy thinks of it.

Don't treat women as people different from men. They have their differences, true, but they are far from being trembling rose petals.

They drink, they smoke, they play sports, they often have more balls than men do. They are the same, and you can approach them and talk to them and not risk wounding their pure souls over it.

The risk assessment that involves questions like: if I say no, is this guy going to argue with me? Harass me? Try to follow me home? What do I need to do to preserve my safety here?

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Somebody's overthinking things....

If you stop and listen to women instead of seeing things only from your personal experience, you might find that many have had unpleasant experiences with guys who would not take "no" for an answer.

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Oh yes.

But if you stop and listen to ANYONE you would find that many PEOPLE have had unpleasent experience with other PEOPLE who wouldn't get off their case.

It doesn't land every man into the molester category in the eyes of women.

An attitude of "if I make her scared and uncomfortable, that's her problem"? That is creepy.

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Creepy is treating women as if they are not human. As if they don't have human strengths and reactions. What you are doing, basically.
And your attitude "If I approach women I will make them scared and uncomfortable" - is pitiful.

Whoa - in some respects Nezhul you started more on the same side as Bramblethorn than you realised - kind of falling apart now.

Re. "and you are telling me Russia is messed up"
Maybe mentioning the word "Russia" from those/us who don't live there can induce a fucked off defensiveness which may or may be not deserved. Not all of those who live in other parts of the world put on generalised hats & labels that bullshit stereotyping political numbfucks would wish upon the population - we are just as ordinary as you.

For my observations there are never any words written by Bramblethorn that would ever encourage the disadvantage of another unless they were attempting to, themselves, disadvantage someone.

Well

Well, I can relate well. As I approached my 30s, I felt like losing my virginity was important to my view of myself. I was awkward dating, missed lots of potential opportunities in retrospect. So I decided that when I got to 30, I would visit a pro if I had not lost my virginity before that.

30 came and went. #1 came and went. And I realized that I really didn't care that much about whether my penis had been in a vagina or not, per se. Instead, what I really cared about was developing a relationship. So, I slowly doubled down on getting out there, meeting people, and exploring relationships.

Not easy. I had to do stuff that stressed me out big time. I had to make myself vulnerable, and be in a potentially embarrassing position. But it became a bit easier. I still missed signals, but I did start having some relationships and some became sexual relationships.

In retrospect, I am glad I did what I did. I am glad I took the time to enter into and explore more relationships. I am glad I did not go to a pro simply to get my penis into a vagina.

Best wishes

Nezhul said:

<snip>
Girls need emotions before sex. Either being inlove with you or being sexually attracted by your personality. Get this into your head.


<snip>

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Not really, no. Some women want sex without emotions. Some women just want to go and pick someone up and fuck them silly without giving a flying care about who they are, just like some men want and need to feel an emotional attachment before having sex. Every single person wants and needs different things. So lumping women and saying that they need emotion is not only a blatant disregard for women as individuals but is also perpetuating a very harmful stereotype which, frankly, doesn't exist.

By your conclusion, Nezhul, even men need to have relationships, because even a one time encounter is a relationship.

I will tell you what women want. Holy sweet Christ in the seventh circle of Hell, I will tell you what all genders want: respect for who they are.

Simple, eh?

What you have proposed, Nezhul, is disrespectful. You may disagree with me, but those tips? Yeah.... no.

What I find remarkably interesting is that the voices of two women (who are saying very similar things) are being shouted over by some of the inevitably male posters (no, not all. But some).

But then again, what do I know?

Nezhul said:

They decriminalized spanking children, basically. Which in my mind is a proper tool of education. I mean I got spanked, I don't think anything's wrong with my life because of that.

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It may well have been marketed as "allow parents to spank children" but is that all the bill actually covers?

I don't read Russian, but my understanding of the legislation is that there's no language that makes it specific to children, and the line is set rather higher than spanking - "serious medical damage" is the translation I've seen.

In some US schools apankings with a paddle are still appropriate, and you are telling me Russia is messed up for allowing spanking your own child with a hand?

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Nope, I said nothing of the sort. You're dishonestly putting words into my mouth... and not for the first time, either.

Bramblethorn said:

Nope, I said nothing of the sort. You're dishonestly putting words into my mouth... and not for the first time, either.

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You put words into my mouth too. Here:

An attitude of "if I make her scared and uncomfortable, that's her problem"?

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So shut up and suck it up. You are plenty liar too. Let's not play "An exact meaning of my words" game here.

What you have proposed, Nezhul, is disrespectful. You may disagree with me, but those tips? Yeah.... no.

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I won't disagree with you right away, because I don't understand in which part it is disrespectful specifically.
What are you offended by? The sole fact that women need relationships to fuck?

Well, duh, 99% do. Yeah, there is that one percent who occasionally wants to have sex with no strings attached whatsoever, but even these kinds of encounters need a hook, an attraction.

Tell me that there are any kind of representative amount of women who sometimes just want to fuck ANYBODY, be he fat or bony, be he short or tall, dirty or clean, creepy or awkward or average? Women who just don't care?
I don't think so. Everybody needs a hook.

Or another example. A man comes up to you on the street, not telling his name and says - "hey, let's fuck." You say - "Okay", you go to the motel and fuck.
No, that's not going to happen too. You need the minimum of interaction. And that makes a relationship.

Am I that wrong? Or disrespectful now?

Nezhul said:

You need the minimum of interaction. And that makes a relationship.

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A "minimum of interaction" maybe attraction or desire - it is stretching it to use the common understanding of the word relationship, being a bond built up over a period of time significantly longer than just a few minutes.

semantics leading to a pointless argument

Nezhul said:

You put words into my mouth too. Here:

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What you wrote was: "even if she happens to be the one to be creeped out. That's her mind's problems. "

My paraphrase was: ""if I make her scared and uncomfortable, that's her problem".

I stand by that as a fair and accurate paraphrase of what you said. If you have an explanation for why it's misleading or unfair, I'd be happy to hear it.

What you have proposed, Nezhul, is disrespectful. You may disagree with me, but those tips? Yeah.... no.

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I won't disagree with you right away, because I don't understand in which part it is disrespectful specifically.
What are you offended by? The sole fact that women need relationships to fuck?

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For the record, the quote you're responding to there was from fire_breeze, not me. I agree with it 100%, but it ought to be attributed correctly.

Nezhul said:

That's true, I just gave the simplest examples. There are literally dozens if not hundreds ways to start a conversation with a stranger.

Also attractiveness is relative. I find a lot of girls attractive who think that they are OK at most, but definitely not super-hot.

They decriminalized spanking children, basically. Which in my mind is a proper tool of education. I mean I got spanked, I don't think anything's wrong with my life because of that.

They did it so that parents would not go to JAIL over spanking. Which was sick. Ruining a family for what was an acceptable way of educationg and teaching small children for thousends of years - and hey, humanity survived somehow.
In some US schools apankings with a paddle are still appropriate, and you are telling me Russia is messed up for allowing spanking your own child with a hand?

Grow up.

They didn't decriminalize domestic VIOLENCE, the news articles just made it sound like that for you, so that you fear the Big Bad Russia more. Any bodily harm will still land you into jail. Even a bruise will get you into court.

So I really think you should stop judging about Russia by the news articles.

So? If it's unwelcome to them, they have their reasons. It's totally fine.

It doesn't mean she's not, no matter what your Highmightiness Whiteknighy thinks of it.

Don't treat women as people different from men. They have their differences, true, but they are far from being trembling rose petals.

They drink, they smoke, they play sports, they often have more balls than men do. They are the same, and you can approach them and talk to them and not risk wounding their pure souls over it.

Somebody's overthinking things....

Oh yes.

But if you stop and listen to ANYONE you would find that many PEOPLE have had unpleasent experience with other PEOPLE who wouldn't get off their case.

It doesn't land every man into the molester category in the eyes of women.

Creepy is treating women as if they are not human. As if they don't have human strengths and reactions. What you are doing, basically.
And your attitude "If I approach women I will make them scared and uncomfortable" - is pitiful.

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Dude, BT is entirely right. Paying a woman a 'compliment' if you don't know her just does result in an extremely complex assessment for the woman concerned. Just because you're obviously this knight in shining armour whose sole purpose in life is to make women feel better about themselves doesn't mean everyone is. I've been physically groped on public transport and dragged off a street at night by guys who started out 'paying me a compliment'.
But also ... we actually don't need random strangers telling us we're pretty to make us feel OK about ourselves. If you think someone's pretty, it's OK to just think that. If you give voice to it, you put us in a position where we have to think 'OK, is this guy a creep or just being nice? Let's assume he's a creep - can I move somewhere else on this crowded train? If I get off at my stop, and he does too, but no one else does, is there some chance something untoward is going to happen?' You might think this reaction is 'our responsibility', but truly, I've yet to meet a woman who doesn't think like that.

As for the 'asking a random stranger for sex on the street' scenario - no, women who just want sex don't do that, but I don't think me who just want to do either. The whole 'women need an emotional connection to want sex' thing is rooted in a pretty outdated evolutionary psychological perspective on sexual relations that basically argues we're only looking for men who'll support us and our children, that we don't even particularly enjoy sex, and that reproduction is the primary motivating factor for sex. It's a bit silly.

Denny

How should I pay to lose my virginity?

After struggling thru this thread I know I shouldn't comment. But commenting on Lit is what I do often. What I'm about to write may be right or wrong. After reading the other crap what I write won't really matter because you ain't payin attention anyway!

First what is this magic number age 30? I know at 21 I became a man. Actually for me it was more like at 19 when my young wife had our first baby. Shit like that makes ya grow up quickly! That is if you really are a man!
By the way a man of any age respects women.

Being a very old dude I could still find some free pussy, if I wanted it. But I must admit with prostrate cancer I could only play with it. But I've lost my virginity so many times already it doesn't matter.
If we were closer my wife, also old, would fuck you until your penis hurt, for free.

Getting back to the original question and page after page of helpful and confusing hints here's my suggestion. Don't worry about your age. Be friendly. Get out and meet the type girls that interest you. Stay out of the bars and whore houses. All you'll find there are desperate losers like yourself and prostitutes.

Be honest, take your time getting to know the gal. Date, eat, drink, take walks, dance, or wash your clothes at the laundromat. Just mingle and let karma happen.

There's more but you ain't payin attention!

Wow interesting discussion going on here since I've been away for a bit...But I suppose I'll address the parts that were directed at me:

Getting back to the original question and page after page of helpful and confusing hints here's my suggestion. Don't worry about your age. Be friendly. Get out and meet the type girls that interest you. Stay out of the bars and whore houses. All you'll find there are desperate losers like yourself and prostitutes.

Be honest, take your time getting to know the gal. Date, eat, drink, take walks, dance, or wash your clothes at the laundromat. Just mingle and let karma happen.

There's more but you ain't payin attention!

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You've mentioned that you're old so in your position there's no way you'd be able to understand or care to know about why my situation isn't as easy as you think.

"Don't worry about your age" Easier said than done where there's one strong thing bothering me about my age, mainly my lack of sexual experience. Plus with my constant masturbation it's even harder to just not worry.

A whore house goes without saying, but a bar? I was under the impression that those are THE PLACE to go to. Nothing would be wrong with a desperate girl just so long as she's attractive and actually chooses me so for my first time that would be fine.

I've been honest and mingled and did all that stuff you mentioned and I did have chances in my past, but back when I had friends to make those moments feel more pleasant and worthwhile now that I'm only I gotta re-break out of my shell all over again but this time on my own and that's where I have trouble.

You'd know that if YOU were paying attention, but if you have more like you claim I'm still willing to listen.

Ladyrookie123 said:

You've mentioned that you're old so in your position there's no way you'd be able to understand or care to know about why my situation isn't as easy as you think.

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Hmm so someone with more life experience could not possibly understand? Then there certainly is little hope for you, because if people lose reasoning power as they grow older you are not starting from a great place.

I would suggest most here have a very clear understanding of you.