Editor wanted for inexperienced author; 4000 words, erotic coupling

JerseyGirlDownUnder

Experienced
Joined
Aug 19, 2017
Posts
85
I'm interested in finding an editor for my work. I'm quite new to Literotica and have published two stories (see https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=3806999&page=submissions).

Feedback suggested that the back story was just not sexy, and GET TO THE POINT. So I have tried to condense this draft, but I think it may still be too long.

I would like an editor to help with the overall content and structure, suggesting things to move or cut or what needs to be expanded. I'm reasonably literate and I think my semi-colons are in the right place.

I'd also like some tips on good titles and tag lines. One of my stories is much higher rated than the other, and I suspect that higher rating is due to people finding what they wanted to read.

Thank you for any help you can provide, oh Volunteer Editor.
 
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I can give a quick structural edit and advice, but no promises for catching all the typos.
 
Thanks for the offer to help, HeyAll. I've had several offers of help via Private Message. With their help, I hope to improve.
 
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