is it cheating?

secretme

Beauty Queen From Mars
Joined
Dec 23, 2006
Posts
3,373
So you catch your husband / lover (you thought was your best friend) emailing and texting propositions to local Craigslist personal ads for sex. You also catch him posting his own ad. He swears he wont do it again and you catch him again. Then again.
He swears its just message. But the numbers are all local. You find stuff in your car that doesn't belong to you.
He swears he has no idea about the stuff.

Is he cheating?
What do you do?

Another though. If he were a friend of yours and you found out he was cheating on his wife, would you do/say anything to him?
 
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Make him give you a cash bond you redeem each time you catch him. Youll get rich, he'll leave, or he'll stop what he's doing.
 
He's cheating, kick him to the curb.

First off you have made him pay no price he says he won't do it again and you say okay so he is laughing at you.

Second a dog is a dog, cheating is in the personality make up, he won't change.

Throw him out and find someone who will be loyal to you, you deserve to be happy. If he begs tell him fuck off, if he gets nasty slap a restraining order on his ass.
 
Hes got no money. but thats an interesting idea...

I wear my seatbelt. For a long time I didn't. But I got tired of paying seat belt fines.

If we confiscated cars every time we caught drunks on the road drunk driving rates would fall. Twenty years ago we had a judge here who destroyed cars of drunk drivers. The car went to the crusher. But the Supreme Court tossed the judge outta office, and the drunks do okay.
 
So you catch your husband / lover (you thought was your best friend) emailing and texting propositions to local Craigslist personal ads for sex. You also catch him posting his own ad. He swears he wont do it again and you catch him again. Then again.
He swears its just message. But the numbers are all local. You find stuff in your car that doesn't belong to you.
He swears he has no idea about the stuff.

Is he cheating?
What do you do?

He's cheating, kick him to the curb.

First off you have made him pay no price he says he won't do it again and you say okay so he is laughing at you.

Second a dog is a dog, cheating is in the personality make up, he won't change.

Throw him out and find someone who will be loyal to you, you deserve to be happy. If he begs tell him fuck off, if he gets nasty slap a restraining order on his ass.

Or join in...maybe he's just waiting for you to join him. ;)

Then again, this must be for a story...
 
So you catch your husband / lover (you thought was your best friend) emailing and texting propositions to local Craigslist personal ads for sex. You also catch him posting his own ad. He swears he wont do it again and you catch him again. Then again.
He swears its just message. But the numbers are all local. You find stuff in your car that doesn't belong to you.
He swears he has no idea about the stuff.

Is he cheating?
What do you do?

Yup, it sounds like he is almost certainly cheating.

I'm so sorry, that sounds like a horrible situation to find yourself in, what ever the outcome. -assuming here you're not asking for a friend/posting this question for research purposes. I think I would probably get out rather than live with that amount of deceit. But I can appreciate real life is complicated

best of luck
 
Zeb, I truly wish it was for a story.

And as far as joining in goes... :devil: you have no idea what I've done. But trust me, way better than Craigslist!




Or join in...maybe he's just waiting for you to join him. ;)

Then again, this must be for a story...
 
Thats truly what I'm afraid of.




He's cheating, kick him to the curb.

First off you have made him pay no price he says he won't do it again and you say okay so he is laughing at you.

Second a dog is a dog, cheating is in the personality make up, he won't change.

Throw him out and find someone who will be loyal to you, you deserve to be happy. If he begs tell him fuck off, if he gets nasty slap a restraining order on his ass.
 
Not quite sure why you've brought this claimed RL situation to strangers on a discussion board--especially as you've answered your question yourself in the OP.
 
Some of us aren't strangers though. I know her. I think I know who she is talking about. So, I'm not a stranger.
 
Because hes on this forum and I wanted him to see what other people think of what he's doing. He seems to think that its ok. Obviously my upset means very little. But since he loves to talk to you guys so much, I figured that I would take a poll.

So I guess you could say that I'm calling him out in public.



sr71pltI016263 said:
Not quite sure why you've brought this claimed RL situation to strangers on a discussion board--especially as you've answered your question yourself in the OP.
 
Some of us aren't strangers though. I know her. I think I know who she is talking about. So, I'm not a stranger.

In which case there's the lovely PM system. But do you disagree that she answered her own question in the OP? (Unless there's the other side of the story to this--which we don't get to see.)

Or (lightbulb time) do you mean that the guy posts to Literotica too? Now, that could be fun.
 
In which case there's the lovely PM system. But do you disagree that she answered her own question in the OP? (Unless there's the other side of the story to this--which we don't get to see.)

Or (lightbulb time) do you mean that the guy posts to Literotica too? Now, that could be fun.

Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on you world view, I rarely agree with you.
 
Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on you world view, I rarely agree with you.

Yep, in view of the reactionary tripe I have seen you post in the past, I'm happy to agree with you on that point. :D
 
Not only does he post but he is very active. SR I can tell you that you speak to him often.


And I would love to see how he would tell his side of the story to you guys.



In which case there's the lovely PM system. But do you disagree that she answered her own question in the OP? (Unless there's the other side of the story to this--which we don't get to see.)

Or (lightbulb time) do you mean that the guy posts to Literotica too? Now, that could be fun.
 
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Basically, cheating consists of giving attention to someone other than your wife/gf/husband/bf. It doesn't always have to be physical acts, such as sex, oral sex, etc. It can be something as simple as emailing or "sexting (sex texting)".

Technically, the bible states that simply lusting over someone else is considered to be cheating. But on that note, I'd have to wonder how true it is when a man or woman goes to a strip bar with friends, get horny as hell from it, then goes home to bang the living hell out of their spouse or significant other.
 
So you catch your husband / lover (you thought was your best friend) emailing and texting propositions to local Craigslist personal ads for sex. You also catch him posting his own ad. He swears he wont do it again and you catch him again. Then again.
He swears its just message. But the numbers are all local. You find stuff in your car that doesn't belong to you.
He swears he has no idea about the stuff.

Is he cheating?
What do you do?

Another though. If he were a friend of yours and you found out he was cheating on his wife, would you do/say anything to him?


He's either cheating, or he is trying to cheat. You're ethically obligated to say something to your friend but oh my gosh, that's going to cause pain, not sure now. As I think about it.
 
If he were a friend of yours and you found out he was cheating on his wife, would you do/say anything to him?

Friends will typically avoid getting involved in one another's marriages unless things get incredibly bad or they've been specifically asked for their help (even then I'd personally be quite wary). About all friends can realistically do is offer emotional support and validation and try to act as a support network once the fallout happens.

If the reason for the above question is that you're wondering why his friends on here haven't proactively intervened and told you about the cheating, assuming there is any (which seems likely from what you describe), that's probably why.
 
So why is he still around? You have some issues of your own to work out.
 
I'd have to wonder how true it is when a man or woman goes to a strip bar with friends, get horny as hell from it, then goes home to bang the living hell out of their spouse or significant other.

I've never given him a hard time about that. Hell I've gone with him to the strip clubs.
How much would you love to watch your wife play with the dancers? ;)



If the reason for the above question is that you're wondering why his friends on here haven't proactively intervened and told you about the cheating, assuming there is any (which seems likely from what you describe), that's probably why.

No I don't think anyone here knew about it. And I honestly don't expect intervention.

This thread all by itself I think will speak volumes to him.
 
Not only does he post but he is very active. SR I can tell you that you speak to him often.


And I would love to see how he would tell his side of the story to you guys.

OK, that will be fun to watch. Not very classy to air this on an Internet board, though, I don't think.

Back to the original question. What is there that makes you want to stick with him? Nothing you put in your OP supports that--and you give the reasons why not yourself--and there must have been some reason you posted. Hopefully more than just to get folks here to gang up on him just on the basis of your own descriptions.

Of course, if a partner of mine took this to an Internet board, I wouldn't be around for her to drop me. I'd already be gone.
 
So why is he still around? You have some issues of your own to work out.


Very true.
I won't debate that.

I also won't go into the "justifications" for letting him stay. I don't agree with them myself.
 
OK, that will be fun to watch. Not very classy to air this on an Internet board, though, I don't think.

Back to the original question. What is there that makes you want to stick with him? Nothing you put in your OP supports that--and you give the reasons why not yourself--and there must have been some reason you posted. Hopefully more than just to get folks here to gang up on him just on the basis of your own descriptions.

Of course, if a partner of mine took this to an Internet board, I wouldn't be around for her to drop me. I'd already be gone.

Nope not very classy at all. For once SR I agree with you. This is entirely vindictive. And not normally like me. But I've spent more than 2 years being an idiot and a "bigger person". So now I'm being a bitch. The other obviously didn't work.
Since you like controversy so much I figured you'd be up for anything involving giving someone hard time.

The main reason he's still around is primarily our daughter. She has no idea that he's anything but "Superman". I don't want her hurt. So tell me how to get out of that one?

As far as being "gone" already, who knows... Maybe he will be... Hard to say.
 
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