"You will sleep with him, my submissive"

blackhearted67 said:

I'm late in the conversation, but I just want to address the question that started the thread - I am currently in a D/s relationship with my boyfriend. I am the submissive. Honestly, being shared by two men sounds hot, and it gets me excited - I'd love to be touched and pleasured by another man while my Dominant was there to care for me and protect me - But only in theory. I think that in reality, well, to begin with, when would the opportunity ever come up? I wouldn't want to just suck any guys dick and I don't trust strangers. Maybe if I had two ex boyfriends or something - two men whom I trusted and who I know would never hurt me. Otherwise, not gonna happen.

I think maybe that's why you received high ratings. The idea of it is hot. I love watching porn where the girl gets handled by lots of guys. In theory, hot. Would I ever actually do it, nope.

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That generally seems to be the consensus; hot in theory, but exceptionally difficult and rare to execute in reality.

kalligeneia said:

Thing is, the whole against mutually sharing thing is something that we've agreed from right from the off, and is how we have both always been since long before meeting one another. So we aren't forbidding one another from anything. He is as aware that I would walk away if he cheated on me or 'played' with someone else as I am aware that he would walk away if I did the same. What is the norm' and acceptable for your D/S relationship, is different to ours. We are closed/exclusively monogamous and are -perfectly- happy that way.

NMK, yes?

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Sure, absolutely. However this norm is pretty much THE norm. Notice how many people have leapt out to say "yep did this last week?" I want to make it clear that this isn't always some theoretical and on-paper activity, because I think a lot of new people would go into BDSM based on this conversation with the impression that this only happens in fiction. Also that the person you are with NEVER develops a changing interest, so day one negotiations are always going to keep conflicting desires at bay.

It doesn't. So communication ahead of time is really a thing. If you haven't discussed this explicitly and you want to be with a Dominant person don't be completely surprised if they expect you to do something sexual with someone you don't find massively attractive and they know it - simply because THEY find that amusing and because they told you to do it, and so expect you to do it.

This might be the greatest hurdle in the world to some people and for some of us it's maybe called "hey it's saturday night."

kalligeneia said:

That generally seems to be the consensus; hot in theory, but exceptionally difficult and rare to execute in reality.

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It's not THAT rare and it's definitely not that difficult. Doing it to the highly communicated and highly processed level that some submissives would requre is that difficult. Finding a decent desireable stunt cock is difficult, finding *a* stunt cock is about as hard as falling off a log. The "ex boyfriends" thing is one route, the close friend of the guy scenario is another, there are entire meeting and greeting subcultures around this activity with people who are happy to "take it slow until we're all comfortable with one another" if you are motivated in this direction.

Most people aren't psycho killers, most guys are up for a meaningless roll around, condoms work for MOST not all STD risk so as long as everyone's informed, and there are a lot more people hopping into beds for the odd threesome of whatever type than one's everyday reality would suggest.

I have a sub friend who was "required" to do this recently. Although reluctant and frankly worried , she had the time of her life. No regrets. Her biggest turn on being she was pleasing her Master and he was terrifically turned on by it.
I guess it's one of those things the D and the s might find hard to reveal?
Who knows how I'd feel. I know I will never be in that situation......But the concept is fascinating

I would not like that

I am an owned submissive, have been for a very long time. I would be extremely hurt and would think that I had let my Sir down, if he ever told me to go and fuck another man without him know the person or being there.
Yes we have had this discussion as we know a few other Dom/sub couples who have tried this with disastrous results. Many of the "other ' men thought it was like the BDSM porn they had watched. where they could literally do anything to the submissive, staples into breasts, and other parts, ignoring hard limits and safe words were the milder cases.
This is not something many Dom/sub couples do.
BDSM is not 50 shades of grey or like porn.

I agree. Simply throwing One's sub to the wolves to see what will happen is not very responsible or Dom-like. Isn't part of the dynamic the fact that one person submits to another with the understanding that the one taking control will do it in a safe and protective manner? I think I understand the concept of sharing my sub with others for my enjoyment, but it would have to be within the framework of strict rules and boundaries to be followed by the other participants so that my property could be returned to me in as good, or hopefully even better condition than when I loaned it. We're Doms, not pimps, and they're subs, not whores.

Being shared? Yep, completely hot.

I enjoy this and I trust J enough to know that he wouldn't knowingly throw me to the wolves or simply pick a guy at random for me to have sex with or whatever. He likes to have me around, so he'd also make sure the guy isn't a serial rapist and a murderer.

He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if something bad happened to me as a result of this.

If it were me, this would only happen because the sub wanted it, convinced me it's a good idea, the guy passed the vetting process, and I was there to keep an eye on things and step in if necessary to protect my sub. And even then, the other guy is going to have far, far less permission than I do just out of concern for my sub.

If any of those criteria are not met, it would not be something I'm comfortable with.

I'm stimulated into submission only on a person by person basis. Not everyone brings out the sub in me. Ok, rephrase. Hardly anyone brings out the sub in me so this would probably be disastrous for me. Even as the sub in a relationship, I could not do this unless sooooo many conditions were met first.

I am an owned submissive of ten years. My Master has shared me with 3 of his very close friends of his. Before each time, we discussed the issue. He trust these guys as if they were his own brothers. Each time was first time with a new friend of his, Master watched, and coached them through my likes and dislikes. After spending time, in non sexual ways as well, each friend of his, they have become friends of mine.

mrron said:

I agree. Simply throwing One's sub to the wolves to see what will happen is not very responsible or Dom-like. Isn't part of the dynamic the fact that one person submits to another with the understanding that the one taking control will do it in a safe and protective manner? I think I understand the concept of sharing my sub with others for my enjoyment, but it would have to be within the framework of strict rules and boundaries to be followed by the other participants so that my property could be returned to me in as good, or hopefully even better condition than when I loaned it. We're Doms, not pimps, and they're subs, not whores.

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It's not very responsible, it's not NOT Dom-like either. Some people drink and smoke and fuck around and that's their bliss - if you're so worried about people doing things that might hurt them then maybe ALL of this is too risky and we can't let people tie one another up, considering how bondage gone wrong can kill people.

Dominant and responsible have been conflated far too much, and submissive and being taken care of by everyone else have been conflated far too much. When I have a submissive, they aren't less the adult than I am, and my responsibility heightens if they're tied up and helpless, but not when they've told me they would definitely accept this kind of activity should it please me (which generally means PLEASE MAKE THIS HAPPEN only I don't want to admit I want it to happen.) I'm not going to put them in a situation that cannot be stopped, but I'm not going to be responsible for acts of God either when you're doing wacky and grown up things eagerly.

Some submissives are actively interested in that "whore" feeling and not in a fictional cute way. Stop telling these people that they're broken and wrong and using your mainstream morality metrics in a place they do not apply.

They apply to you - that's fantastic. You would never do that. Cool. That's where everyone should more or less shut up. If a person wants to do a high-risk thing, you are responsible to make sure they know the risk and know various ways to mitigate the risk - beyond that, they are not your children, just stop.

annayarnkitten said:

I am an owned submissive, have been for a very long time. I would be extremely hurt and would think that I had let my Sir down, if he ever told me to go and fuck another man without him know the person or being there.
Yes we have had this discussion as we know a few other Dom/sub couples who have tried this with disastrous results. Many of the "other ' men thought it was like the BDSM porn they had watched. where they could literally do anything to the submissive, staples into breasts, and other parts, ignoring hard limits and safe words were the milder cases.
This is not something many Dom/sub couples do.
BDSM is not 50 shades of grey or like porn.

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Try "This is not something many of the Dom/sub couples I KNOW do."

Since that's the case, and you've selectively looked for couples who fill your confirmation bias, because you would never ever do this, you're going to see it go wrong more than go right.

Me, personally, I truly *do not care* what adult another adult puts his dick in so long as everyone's agreeable, and I will say this is almost a norm among the people I know, I'd say half exclusive and half "bring it on" and everyone's as miserable as everyone else, and everyone has about the same rate of things blowing up or getting scary.

BDSM is definitely not Shades of Gray, I can't agree more. It's not completely and utterly UNlike all porn either, it's just not exactly like porn.

Gianbattista said:

Its interesting to me that most talk as if it would be PYL motivated whether pyl likes it or not. Sometimes it is the PYL more wired to monogamy or not wanting to share and this is a reason why it would not happen in a relationship. G identifies as monogamous only, and, thus our commitment is to each other only. The trust we both committed to this means we can discuss my arousal in other scenarios, but that I know it isn't going to happen.

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Sure that happens. And it seems obvious enough to me that the limitations of the Boss Party would control the outcomes, unless the not-boss party is actually the boss.

This really isn't complicated. A limit isn't a preference it's an honest to god "going to put me in a locked ward if you do this" limit. You're either in a relationship that is based around consensus as the major mode of dealing with differences, or you're in a relationship where contracts about who is in charge are the major mode of dealing with differences. One is mainstream or "vanilla" if you must or consensus based or bedroom-only and one is D/s.

Personally, my relationship uses consensus first, my own decisions as final with great sparingness. I wouldn't say "we're full time D/s" for this reason. I wouldn't even say we're D/s at this point. But I certainly recognize that people do this, I HAVE done this with other relationships, and I would say there's a marked difference in why you might wind up with identical results in a situation.

Oh my. Hit someone's little sensitivity buttons did I? I rate your writing skills good, your reading skills fair and your comprehension skills weak.

Netzach said:

- if you're so worried about people doing things that might hurt them then maybe ALL of this is too risky and we can't let people tie one another up, ...

I'm not "worried" about anything. Didn't say I was. Simply stating my thoughts on the subject which is what this forum is all about. Not telling anybody to do anything. That's clear from the context of my post. Please don't put words in my mouth simply to make some weak hobby horse point.

Some submissives are actively interested in that "whore" feeling and not in a fictional cute way. Stop telling these people that they're broken and wrong and using your mainstream morality metrics in a place they do not apply.

You're right, some do. Did I say anyone was wrong or broken? No I didn't. Did I express my opinion that doing that in a certain way might be dangerous or detrimental to a sub's safety or well being? Yes I did. It's an opinion, a widely held opinion throughout the kink community I might add. But its an opinion and only an opinion. Clearly expressed as such. Sorry if the free and thoughtful exchange of ideas steps on your right to be intolerant.

They apply to you - that's fantastic. You would never do that. Cool. That's where everyone should more or less shut up.

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You might want to reread this last part and then practice what you preach. That's right, it was written by you.

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mrron said:

.... Sorry if the free and thoughtful exchange of ideas steps on your right to be intolerant.



You might want to reread this last part and then practice what you preach. That's right, it was written by you.

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Yeah, no, see the sharing of opinions doesn't work that way. Say something stupid and I get to throw a tomato or two, and you can certainly do the same or continue to be stupid, that's both our right.

Guess what, your precious self expressionistic rights are not so sacrosanct that the rest of the world must listen in polite silence stroking their chin in long consideration. If your belief is the "widely held" belief of the kink community it can hold up to some scrutiny, surely. In my opinion it is the widely held belief of the community outside the kink community, whose general belief is that one's body is one's own, to the extent that you can explore giving power over it to other people, you can push its edges, you can take risks, as long as you do it with clear mind and intentions, and your emotional well-being is judged ultimately by you and not others.

You're right, I'm kind of sensitive about the sexually censorious impulse cropping up in my marginalized community.

" We're Doms, not pimps, and they're subs, not whores."

That's some fairly sex negative prose there, Jack. You're seriously going to act like what you wrote contains no sneering judgment because you didn't write "I judge you people."

Please.

I was raised up in this community with "if you don't like what you see, and it's not a violation of the rules we agreed to when we entered this space, it's on YOU to take your ass quietly out of the room." People are going to do things that make you feel icky. Don't like that possibility, stay home. You definitely get branded an asshole if you spend a lot of time telling everyone how ICKY those people are.

The Gay Perspective

I can be a very obedient submissive cock-sucker for the right strict dominant Boyfriend, if the sexual chemistry is correct. So I have the sheer frilly see-through panties and the black pull-up stockings with garters, which my Boyfriend instructed me to wear to orally entertain two of his friends. I didn't say I wouldn't try. Just that they're a little intimidating. Have you ever been in a situation with more than one guy…? It can be quite scary, even if you're up for it, and even if it's scary in a good way... Just how many 'married dirty old man friends' do you imagine would be involved…? Oh, I'm blushing already just at the thought... He watched as I sucked them off. It's such a turn-on to have someone watching while you suck cock, don't you agree…? before I was granted permission to take my Boyfriend's big beautiful cock into my mouth as they watched, much to their amused and aroused entertainment. Is that the kind of thing you had in mind…? Or have I been too indiscrete…?

as a Submissive with my Ex-Hubby who was a Dom/Cuckoldattending over 35 swinger parties and 3 dungeon parties over a 2 year period I had sex with multiple strangers x

Swinging, I had some say but still satisfied strangers in front of him as knew it turned him on and enjoyed most of the sex myself and climaxed many times, which he didn't like x

Dungeon, I was mostly tied, hog-tied or bound in some way but my mouth, pussy and ass available to 'members', sometimes blindfolded, a 'safe word' to stop all at anytime, fucked by strangers in every way, but did it and enjoyed to a larger extent as pleasing the guys and my ex was such a thrill and gave me so much pleasure and so many orgasms x always felt like a slut afterwards but also felt so empowered as ME, able to sap the strength, excite and satisfy so many all alone x x x

Please don't judge me x x x

To SubmissiveMom

SubmissiveMom said:

as a Submissive with my Ex-Hubby who was a Dom/Cuckoldattending over 35 swinger parties and 3 dungeon parties over a 2 year period I had sex with multiple strangers x

Swinging, I had some say but still satisfied strangers in front of him as knew it turned him on and enjoyed most of the sex myself and climaxed many times, which he didn't like x

Dungeon, I was mostly tied, hog-tied or bound in some way but my mouth, pussy and ass available to 'members', sometimes blindfolded, a 'safe word' to stop all at anytime, fucked by strangers in every way, but did it and enjoyed to a larger extent as pleasing the guys and my ex was such a thrill and gave me so much pleasure and so many orgasms x always felt like a slut afterwards but also felt so empowered as ME, able to sap the strength, excite and satisfy so many all alone x x x

Please don't judge me x x x

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I judge you. I respect and admire you. More power to you...

SubmissiveMom said:

as a Submissive with my Ex-Hubby who was a Dom/Cuckoldattending over 35 swinger parties and 3 dungeon parties over a 2 year period I had sex with multiple strangers x

Swinging, I had some say but still satisfied strangers in front of him as knew it turned him on and enjoyed most of the sex myself and climaxed many times, which he didn't like x

Dungeon, I was mostly tied, hog-tied or bound in some way but my mouth, pussy and ass available to 'members', sometimes blindfolded, a 'safe word' to stop all at anytime, fucked by strangers in every way, but did it and enjoyed to a larger extent as pleasing the guys and my ex was such a thrill and gave me so much pleasure and so many orgasms x always felt like a slut afterwards but also felt so empowered as ME, able to sap the strength, excite and satisfy so many all alone x x x

Please don't judge me x x x

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I bet you got some great stories to share, I'd love to hear more.

HandsInTheDark said:

In a recent story, a dominant male and submissive female revealed they were both fond of having the female required to sexually serve other men. I followed it up with a scene of that sort. This was in BDSM, not LW, and I didn't expect much backlash, and indeed I didn't get any. It's the highest rated chapter I've ever written. Another story of mine in which the theme comes up was also very highly rated, by my standards.

Which surprises me, very slightly. I do a lot with dominant and submissive themes, sometimes consensual and affectionate, sometimes edgier than that. (This was a very affectionate pair). A lot of my readership, judging by my email, is female. This leads me to suspect that, at least within the context of a trusted relationship, an awful lot of females have the fantasy of being required to sexually serve men they don't know. It doesn't surprise me at all that it's a hot thought in a non-con setting, for those into non-con. But in a consensual arrangement it apparently retains the hotness, despite (or because of) the violation of the secret, safe D/s space it implies.

Females, comment. Females with a submissive mindset, especially remark on how you'd feel in real life (and yes, I know fantasy is different) if you were told to serve another man while the dominant observed. If this turns out to be a significant fetish for a lot of readers, I could easily see trying a story in which it was a major theme.

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Sent you a PM. I would be very interested in reading a story like that.

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