New Poetry Recommendations

okay...ty

Lauren Hynde said:
Practically all of Saturday's posts were lost. Manu is still trying to recover them, but there are no guarantees.

I understand fully, thanks Lauren

If I may then repost a Poem from Saturday?
That I feel is worthy of re-mention. I don't know
if Elsie Grey is new or not but I felt the poem was
of zen master material. I couldn't tell ya squat about
the grammar but I can say it was a neat adventure poem.

I have a Narrow View by Elsie Grey when it comes to boats. I loved this poem for its witty write and zen master flare but also because I drive race boats on the southern circut, starting late april >>>"E" and 80's <grin>

clip~
Swirling green depths swiftly pass me
Powering up the slide, arms locked out in front
Trying desperately to hear the shouted instructions from the stern
Breathing raggedly I twist and lift my hands
Setting fire to my blisters anew
As the blade squares and neatly drops into the water
Time on the catch, now!


blade and water balance is almost ballat <grin>
very nice poem, Thank You Elsie (~_~)
 
Wet Wednesday Poem Review

Well It's wet here in California! Been rainin' for nigh on a year and a half! (at least it seems so to me, but perhaps I am, after all, insane) :nana:

Poems-the ones I like with all the usual disclaimers :rolleyes:

lindiana sings a Litany of Life very well. Here are the bits I love:

Bitter

The taste of betrayal
Upon the tongue
Like day old coffee left to burn
Life

Death

Runs down the narrow staircase
To catch you in the lobby
Just as you retrieve your mail
Fly

Free

I cannot be tamed
He tried and failed thankfully
For I am too strong to be owned


irishcatsmeow brings us a treat, Odd Fellows. There is a lot to love here.

Had enough.
Hibernation holds appeal.
Dig into goose feathers
without down-and-out-men.
Revel in fluffy solitude;
my own warmth satisfies.


I'll admit I don't know a tanka from any other form, but bluerains did it beautifully! stillwater
early morning sun
shines sky shapes upon anglers
glassy inlet sea
flatboat rides upside down as
blurred clouds collide with sea gulls

Tathagata is still not letting us vote on his work. What did you people do to him? I love his Pause this morning.
Soft the sound of forsaken dreams
dropping,
hushed snowflake plummet,
exquisite sadness,
a symphony in G minor.

Simply Lovely Tath!



foehn says, I can't write poetry and then proves himself wrong. It's short and sweet.
Someone please send me
a ticket to Mars.
Alaska is crowded already,
and I'm not wanted at home.


That's the way I see it on this dreary, water-logged day.

Go read some poems, post your comments, and then write something wonderful.

Warm Wishes and Bright Blessings :heart:

Syn :kiss:
 
New Poems of Thursday Feb. 17, 2005

~ Since the new upgrade seems to have eliminated at least some of my reasons for refusing to post anymore on Literotica, I have returned today to see if it indeed is true. So let us start. ~

There are 22 new submissions on this third Thursday in February, and I have one non-erotic "spinner" as is my wont.

For today's oldie I bring a poem from almost two years ago.

It took two sessions and at least 30+ spins to find this poem by karmadog whose humor and input is greatly missed. Inactive for some time, Kdog has been around and contributing since at least December of 2001. Newer poets like Tathagata and My Erotic Tale should enjoy this one. We old timers will remember it fondly. :rose:

Third Floor Shitstorm

Standing on high as the storm rolls in
Wind sucks smoke from stone hole pores

Sparks lightning feeds thunder

Co-lessee bitch screams Too High
Tree tops wriggle as they split by light

Electric-blue glowing fingertips

No fear no shelter no heart
No soul no love no more

Smoking shit on the third floor
Of a two story building

***************

Here are some of the poems I found most interesting today. (Note the emphasis on "I".)

Today there are four contributing poets known to me. I mention them in alphabetical order.

Today Angeline in Maneuvers writes words that might require several readings. The sound of the words stream nicely upon initial scan, but you may miss some of the expressive connections as the flow sweeps you along. My pick of lines for this piece are all but the opening line of the first stanza. "Maybe" is an example for me of having to read past the initial word flow to garner the meaning. I especially like the enjambment.
. . .
Tiptoe through the travail, filmy
contrails of maybe rise like rain.
Mist leaves the pavement, fogs
the street with misperception.
. . .

This is perhaps not Angeline's 'best ever' work, but it certainly is worth the time you may spend with it. (I do question the numerical presentation of "1,000" in the last strophe.)

***************

fabmax usually writes private poetry dedicated to her love "Jer". The two of them seem to use the Literotica Poetry Page as a venue for exchanging protestations of personal devotion; kind of a cross between e-mail and a blog. If you want to write poetry designed primarily for an audience of one, then Fabmax may be a poet to read. Today, however, Fabmax writes of loss and loneliness in her contribution The Truth. A journal entry in stanza form, one can only hope that she and Mr. Diakiw are not having relational difficulties. The work begins thusly:
Tonight it happens again,
I've cried, at more or less
for an hour
My bosom heaves
As I grieve, for another door
closes
This home that has made me
Feel welcome, safe and knowing
I had a purpose a space
Being terrified I can't erase.
. . .

***************

Liar is one of my favorite Literotica poets. I am always amazed at his command of the English language considering that it is not his first. His poem today,
 
New Poems of Thursday Feb. 17, 2005

~ Since the new upgrade seems to have eliminated at least some of my reasons for refusing to post anymore on Literotica, I have returned today to see if it indeed is true. So let us start. ~

There are 22 new submissions on this third Thursday in February, and I have one non-erotic "spinner" as is my wont.

For today's oldie I bring a poem from almost two years ago.

It took two sessions and at least 30+ spins to find this poem by karmadog whose humor and input is greatly missed. Inactive for some time, Kdog has been around and contributing since at least December of 2001. Newer poets like Tathagata and My Erotic Tale should enjoy this one. We old timers will remember it fondly. :rose:

Third Floor Shitstorm

Standing on high as the storm rolls in
Wind sucks smoke from stone hole pores

Sparks lightning feeds thunder

Co-lessee bitch screams Too High
Tree tops wriggle as they split by light

Electric-blue glowing fingertips

No fear no shelter no heart
No soul no love no more

Smoking shit on the third floor
Of a two story building

***************

Here are some of the poems I found most interesting today.
(Note the emphasis on "I".)


Today there are four contributing poets known to me. I mention them in alphabetical order.

Today Angeline in Maneuvers writes words that might require several readings. The sound of the words stream nicely upon initial scan, but you may miss some of the expressive connections as the flow sweeps you along. My pick of lines for this piece are all but the opening line of the first stanza. "Maybe" is an example for me of having to read past the initial word flow to garner the meaning. I especially like the enjambment.
. . .
Tiptoe through the travail, filmy
contrails of maybe rise like rain.
Mist leaves the pavement, fogs
the street with misperception.
. . .

This is perhaps not Angeline's 'best ever' work, but it certainly is worth the time you may spend with it. (I do question the numerical presentation of "1,000" in the last strophe.)

***************

fabmax usually writes private poetry dedicated to her love "Jer". The two of them seem to use the Literotica Poetry Page as a venue for exchanging protestations of personal devotion; kind of a cross between e-mail and a blog. If you want to write poetry designed primarily for an audience of one, then Fabmax may be a poet to read. Today, however, Fabmax writes of loss and loneliness in her contribution The Truth. A journal entry in stanza form, one can only hope that she and Mr. Diakiw are not having relational difficulties. The work begins thusly:
Tonight it happens again,
I've cried, at more or less
for an hour
My bosom heaves
As I grieve, for another door
closes
This home that has made me
Feel welcome, safe and knowing
I had a purpose a space
Being terrified I can't erase.
. . .

***************

Liar is one of my favorite Literotica poets. I am always amazed at his command of the English language considering that it is not his first. His poem today, Waking Up In A Bruised Room, ably demonstrate this fluency with its fullness of imagery and alliteration. Liar uses the concept of a destroyed room the morning after a fire as a metaphor for the 'morning after' in a relationship.

Here are the opening lines:
Pieces of last night's showdown,
shards, shackles,
shame piled in pathetic corner stacks
in last night's showroom.
. . .

***************

neonurotic presents Other Side of Adam. I am not sure how the title relates to the body, but the author provides some smooth reading phrases with an imagery twist here and there. Of the three stanzas in this short piece, my favorite is the last:
. . .
Here I walk barefoot,
forgetting numb, leaving
smudged prints of my life
closely followed by a reflection
I don't want to recognize.

***************

Of contributors unknown to me, Bill Dada, has submitted his first three erotic poems to Literotica. His first one, Aromatherapy, shows a potential promise of things to come. It starts:

the aroma of sex
hangs around
the sound of your voice
. . .
His other offerings are You Greet Me at the Door Naked and Your Touch. I look forward to watching this poet grow, and I hope he will spread his thoughts to non-erotic topics as well.

***************

Another poet new to me that I want to mention, lindiana, offers the erotic poem Old Mattress New Love. There is an uneven use of alliteration in this interesting work that I find distracting. I also find the capitalization at the start of every line diverting. - Those that remember me know that I put great value on exactly where a word is placed on a page. ("Paper is just the blank canvas for word pictures.") With that in mind I might suggest to this poet that she consider the strictly vertical placement of her key words.
. . .
Sheets suddenly burn the skin
And are tossed in a jumble to the floor
Red molten lips meet pale pink
Covered, clenching, controlling,
Devouring
Suddenly starving for sustenance
Life giving
Breath
R
O
L
L
I
N
G
Off the well worn mattress that fits
Their bodies with soft hugs of knowledge
. . .

***************
It is a burning in my brain that is driving me insane
As I shiver as I shudder as my heart begins to flutter
I am calm and I am lame and not altogether tame
Like a tiger in the zoo I’m gonna swipe my claws at you
. . .
So starts Snakes & spiders & lions & tigers by mstryninja. I have to mention this one because of its Kiplingesque inner rhymes and metre. It falters a time or two, but is a fun read. I will keep an eye out for the next poetry submission by this author.

***************

So that's the wrap for this Thursday's fish review. Fold the newspaper and throw me away, but as always, please go and read the rest of today's new postings on the New Poems page. I hope I have separated most of the cod from the bycatch, But if you find a fluke or two, please pick them up and bring them to our attention! ;) Remember to vote, comment, and send feedback.
Our poets need your support.

Regards, Rybka


(What do you know, it accepted everything!)
 
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New Poetry Reviews 2/18/05

As I said last week, I smooch no one's pink starfish and I'll mention every poem I come across, today. I can be blunt. It might make you unhappy.

If it makes you feel better, console yourself with the fact that you are a beautiful and worthwhile person, you're smart, you're funny and goshdarnit.

People like you.

...Just maybe not me.


Iduna’s first up with She. I enjoyed this right up until ‘Peacock’ and then found myself wondering what the hell was going on. I’m not sure how peacock and waves fit in, but the pictures are striking. Go check them out, or I’ll put the fucking weasels on you.

Mikeindub21 breaks out Moon meets sun and leaves the reader wondering why they left teen angst behind, in the first place. Go check it out, the first line’s sweet and if you don’t, I’ll swallow your soul. With mayonnaise.

Fieryredhead30 wants us to know how to fuck her because her poem is called How to fuck me. And the only line I’d add to this poem is, ‘not with my dick.’ Teasing and pleasing and other words that get overused made me dislike this poem. Go read it for yourself and offer up some encouragement.

(Note: Not proofreading your poetry makes Allah shed bitter tears.)

And speaking of bitter tears…

Babee_girl wants you to "Love me tenderly". I’d like to love her tenderly all the way back to 9th grade creative writing. Read it and weep.

Foehn apparantly has a tiny penis. He tells us so in My tiny penis This is a fun read, about a weener’s place in the universe. An anatomical/philosophical (sort of) celebration of the trouser-snake, it is clever and I liked it. Go read it, or I’ll carve forth your spleenful duadenum.

Matriarch lays down, waiting and while I don’t doubt that a lot of people liked it (they said so in the comments!) I am going to be vague and ambivalent. It’s about being excited to see someone. While it didn’t light my fire, it may spark you to new heights. Make up your own mind, or I’ll kick you in the crotch until your bits fall off (or out).

Flyguy69 breaks out onto the day with Wonder Y and with an easy style asks a few questions about the way that we look at one another. I recommend that you read this, comrades, for the good of the party.

Sandspike, resident beach bum and word-smith, serves us close call in a blues bar and it’s an excellent piece about how no matter what you’ve got in common with a person, some differences are better left untested. I wondered if ‘eavesdropping’ was meant instead of ‘ease dropping’ but that’s just me being balky. Go, plebeians, Ceasar commands you to read this poem, or be thrown to the lions.

Bluerains slaps us with a quickie in Wizard of the vine and it made me tap my chin and ponder, and after much consideration, I’ve come to this conclusion: I like the poem, but the grammar strikes me as screwy. Read it, or I’ll make you disappear.

Trent_Dutch is next with Sorrow (11, 11, 12, 12)… All tendencies to nitpick little grammatical errors aside.. This is an excellent poem. It’s straightforward and honest. The second stanza has the feeling, but the words are a little stilted – more so than in the first stanza, which is stellar. See it, in all its glory, before I clobber you.

Neo brings us a slick little piece called re-conjunction and while I don’t like the title so much, I do thoroughly enjoy the poem. The last stanza’s bitchin’, if I may be so bold as to say so, and the overall intent of the poem is nailed neatly into place. I just wonder at ‘re-‘conjunction, given the use of the prefix ‘re’ throughout the end of the poem. … It bugs me, is what I’m saying. Thank god you’re not me and can go read it yourself. Which you should do. Right now. Or I’ll…Well. I may just have to hornswaggle you.

~D.A.
 
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i don't mean to jump today's reviewer, or step on his toes,

but in my opinion it is rare you find a poem this good at literotica.

take time to read this - Bread

and thank you for this, eve. :rose:
 
PatCarrington said:
i don't mean to jump today's reviewer, or step on his toes,

but in my opinion it is rare you find a poem this good at literotica.

take time to read this - Bread

and thank you for this, eve. :rose:

I read it this morning and in earlier iterations. It's delicate and tender and very expressive. My toes recommend it too. :)
 
New Poems Reviews for Saturday 19,2005

Hello Poets~
The New Poems list was as exciting as ever
to read. Lit certainly has a versitle and creative
group of poets that offer wonderful reads. I will
try to get to as many as possible, so here we go ...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bells of Silence by SummerMorning

I read this several times and it kept reminding me
of those old cartoons where you follow the bouncing
ball and sing along with BELLS OF SILENCE <grin>

Honestly this poem is worth a gander
I feel different folks will get a different
interpretation, but that's poetry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just a Fantasy by Savage Kitten

clip~
beyond the one we shared.
Intoxicating bliss, too pure
to duplicate without reason.
Next to me, your scent
still lingers there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I loved the feel of this poem ... soft,
sleepy, a voice between awake and dreams
teatered the hints of rather this was real
or a dream, you'll have to go read to find out <grin>

EXCELLENT POEM~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It Comes by Impressive earns the name with this excellent write.

clip~
We cling to fading strength
as it circles, ravenous.
Relentless.
Our cave of will
scant shelter. Vigilance
no longer enough to keep
the inevitable at bay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a poem that fills all the avenues, witty,
clever, easily absorbed and touching.
I read this twice for the shear enjoyment.

It Comes, will put a new thought on tomorrow~

Paramount poem~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bread by WickedEve

clip~
Bleak dawn
turns another page.
Weariness scans Shoah passages
that emerge on the horizon of my hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eve delights us with a masterful poem,
I am so Impressed!
I was so moved several times,
"Not worthy a crumb?" Eve this was
worth a silo of grain, wicked <grin>
awesome write~

Zen Master Poem~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stained Glass by darkgoddess2478

clip~
Leave me to shatter
And scatter like
Broken bottles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
this poem was an excellent write
relating their life to stained glass
witty and very poetic, so many was this
could have been layed out and touched on
but this was a great poem and
balanced well.

also posted by this poet today is
Infantry~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Flowers by Seeker and Finder
clip~
Every renouned artist has sought
to recreate your silent eloquence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love Seeker n Finders poems but this one
is eloquent and a pearl of a poem, the description
of a flower and all it's glory has rarely been
said in such a natural lay of words,
a rainbow of thoughts~
a pearl of a poem~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eloquent Resurrection
by Savannah Skye

clip~
I'm in an epicene state of being
An eloquent resurrection has taken place

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a write that touches on the love of
the poet and the hind sight and ability
to unite, a very deep and clever poem.
a trail of words that leads to the ...
eloquent ressurection <grin>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fallen Stars by tigress2831


clip~
I always thought a star was to be wished on
Whether it the first of the night
Or one shooting across the sky
I closed my eyes and wished

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This poem was clever, stars are wishes
and wishes of a love and all the stars are ...
<grin> well maybe you should go read it,
A SHAVE~ was also posted today by tigress

I was blessed with what I would call a perfect
day with the reviews, a relatively small list today
but every single one was worth a second and some
even a three read poem <grin> thanks to all
and have a safe and poetic week end!
 
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Sunday reviews...

Here we go..

I love when the first poem to hit me makes me question all that I live for.. and have done in the past and within my own "now"...

Hour Glass Erotic Tale

Wonderful thought provoking and inspiring work Art... your versatile spirit soars.. I would only break it into stanzas when the questions stop and the answers begin.. leave a second there for the power to sink into the mind of the reader..
Loved it..
Du~
re: my favorite part..

I have Higher hopes
but read the signs
mother natures crying
dinosaur size tears
what will be
in another 10 million years?

Next comes...

The Touch of My Angel chezcubby1

vulnerable..
the simplicity of this wording allows the reader to feel. And with so many of us here.. the brain works fine.. but to feel is divine! You do that here..made me ache to be touched.
ty
Du~
other romantic reads at their best include:
You've Set My Heart on Fire

Making Love

Onward we go...

Hot and Cold Goldeniangel

I enjoyed the suspense of this work.. although we all know what is being said.. that worry and pain of saying the first "L" word is captured in this moment..
ty for the read
Du~
also by Goldeniangel is:
The Oceans Window
Funny tears and Empty words.. fill out her posts today..!

Hopping up to the next bunny trail to reality as it is..

Od to Id seannelson
another thinking poem ... I sit and ponder... loved the voice!! Don't hold it back .. let it fly.. !
Loved:
offer a Bachelor's in "Oprah Studies,"

hehehehehe.. I could think of a few to add to this poem!
great work!
Du~

meow meow.. hungry for more says the little cat.. :catroar:

After robbermagnet

I love small moments caught and time standing still. This poem draws us right there is a few short verses..
adroit writing..
ty for the read
Du~

Milk lapped up and paws all clean.. next she wanders into a dream..

Aftermath DarkDreamerwithHope

Powerful images here.. pulling me right in and becoming one with the work..
ty for the read
Du~
PS love the name!!! :cathappy:

hopping a raft and flowing down a river she encounters...
Elephant leg Fflow

I loved this.. the intimacy revealed in both the small things of the loved ones and the vulnerablity of the desires of the lover... wow..
transcendent!
ty for the read..
Du~

swimming towards shore mew mew.. she finds a swing... higher she climbs in the sky only to fall to the earth once she touched the clouds with this read...

Angel w/one Wing Bill Dada

I love the power of the running together of the words creates. A fast current that in the end falls off a water fall of realities voice!
Hot damn~ good write!
Du~

other writes by this poet are:
Dogma
OUCH..

Thought Target

If you have ever seen Dada artwork this poet paints the same with his mind boggling writes.. go read them and ponder!!

She dusts herself off, and slouching off, pouting and blue.. the next poet has a clue, what to do, Laughter the key for this little kitty to see! Read read read..

Lemonryck Dingus Guy

Just what I needed!!! A wee bit of comic relief and some outstanding wacko creativity. YAAAY! she screams, with worm feed dreams, blue you may be.. laughter here is the key!
hehehe
Du~

Lost in thought she finds herself lost in the shadows of trees.. hearing the voice a deep poetic song...

The Shadow citadel

deep.. pondering and thought provoking. A great read one that must be read a few times. Very strong!
ty
Du~

the kitten is tired and curls in a ball slowly she falls... DeepAsleep

Any Way but Forever DeepAsleep
Long as hell but worth the read!
Ached in this moment:

Was it hateful providence that
let one little saline bastard
fall from your eye,
into mine?
It's trite,
but I'll hold it close,
long and longer

the length of the poem symbolizes to me.. not forever for although it takes a considerable amount of time.. and is filled with great emotion and visuals like love making.. it does end..

stellar work DA ( i knew that you were deeper than your rat piss reviews lol :devil: )
Du~

Out of a deepsleep the kitten stumps through a rain of mind boggling words that comfort her soul..

religion blue rains

just read.. that is all I can say.. as I said before bluerains is one of my favorite poets...

The kitten is done and stretching lazy in the sun she tells all to go read, each poem holds a treasure seed!

Thank you for the reads all.. I know I do not go by grammar structure etc... but more by feel... so that is my way.. leave the rest to those whom it seems to be their forte'! Happy Sunday all
du lac :cattail: meow!
 
Mondays' reviews....

These might be a bit brief because my boss just gave me the day off, and I don't intend to spend toooo much time sitting in front of the computer longer than I need to. :D

Headline
by robbermagnet

And maybe after a hundred vacations
Of doing the exact opposite
of what I've always done
I can read "We" in a headline
without a
single
flinch.

I enjoyed this. It's disconcerting to be part of that 'We', the 'We' that finds itself in headlines and plot lines and story lines that prove themselves to be everything one would hope they are not, and yet still are.

Well-written. I felt that flinch.

Blind Beauty
by Dingus Guy

Parts of this were just lovely...You made me feel the words instead of just read them, and I always appreciate that. In my opinion, some of it could use some tightening up. It would be more powerful if it lost the superfluous words. However, it is lovely as is. :)

Hugged by the beauty
I do not see
I can feel the blue
As it beckons to me


Sculpture of Mourning
by Savannah Skye

I love the feeling and tone of this poem. Some of the poet's use of language is excellent, but it over-reaches in parts. I respect anyone who uses the word 'discombobulated' with a straight face, but it sticks here. One question/suggestion...

Dislimbed they wade through ground blood

The dictionary didn't like 'dislimbed', but assuming its meaning, how could they wade? One needs legs to wade. And 'ground blood'. Do you mean blood on the ground? Or goopy bits of flesh and blood?

I really, really enjoyed this poem, but think it would be even better with a revision that looks at some of these issues. Otherwise, very well done. :)

Especially the end...

His body lies still and lifeless
Below him crimson blood mingles with umber dirt
Organic materials left behind to create a sculpture of mourning
By orphaned hands of futile wars


That last line hits home. Sharp, piercing word picture.


Bushido by My Erotic Tale

I loved the ending. :)


to slice
death
or die
like Samurai


****
As always, just my thoughts. Please feel free to take them or leave them. :nana:

(There's really no explaining the dancing banana. I just love that guy. Maybe it's because it looks like he's doing the 'I just got laid' dance.)
 
New Poem Reviews Tuesday 22nd February.

First up for your perusal today is 'The Playboy and the Goddess' by Kelly Fleming. It’s quite a short and almost vitriolic little piece, with a novel rhythm and structure.

‘If he had been given a Goddess Divine ...
He would DO her so FINE ....’

'Frosted Carnival' by DuLac is a wonderful little picture of winter. Very fluid and well paced, with some clever similes and clever little images.

‘Gray skies pregnant
with frozen drips of confused water.

Wind whipping
through a frosted carnival.’

'Blaze of Depression (5 Haikus)' by Young Spectre is a very morose collection of 5 Haikus (as if you couldn’t guess it from the title) each with a foreboding theme. They are all very dark, but well written, communicating the fear and feelings of failure through depression. #1 conveys a real sense of anxiety, almost paranoia. #2 & #3 deal with apathy. #4 shows false and twisted deliverance. Finally #5 returns to the theme of apathy and learned helplessness. A very good collection of Haikus in my opinion.

#3 ‘Passion for nothing,
Grim circumstances adrift.
Serenity Lost!’

'Same Shit' by Jazzyglass is a witty piece. It lacks structure and could do with some refinement, but I appreciate the sentiment (even if not the subject matter as I’m about to eat) and like the ending very much.

‘I'm in a predicament, yeah, I'm in pain, hellish pain.
I felt the gas exit, intermittently for a few seconds, then it hit me, I needed to take a crap.’

Ok, I’m going to take a break to get some dinner. But rest assured I’ll get back on the poetry case as soon as I’m finished. And after that… it’s the search for the Brown Buffalo…
 
Wednesday Poems

Good Morning Poets!

We submitted 32 New Poems today. Of those, these are the ones that tickled me in some way.

I will NOT be leaving as many public comments as I am sick of signing in for each one. Irritating!

Angeline brings us a perfect poem with a lovely illustration in I am the Poem. I love alliteration and these words dance across my tongue as I read it aloud. The surge and urges splashed together nicely and the metamorphic, metaphoric muses made me smile. Inspiring and creative.

My Erotic Tale painted a lovely picture in Epitaph. It needs to be cleaned up a bit, but the scene was pretty enough to catch my breath.

I really enjoyed the metaphores in Clarinet's soft Rapture by chezcubby1. I think shorter lines would improve the look of the poem, but there are lovely phrases and wonderful feelings here!

Simple, elegant. Something happened on my way to the poem paints a wonderful feeling. Thanks DG!


Like a fine wine, fruit of his vine by bluerains gets better and better. Read it a few times and see if you agree!

Those are my choices from today's selection. If you have others, this is the place to let us know!

Bright Wednesday Blessings!

Enjoy the Full Moon tonight-

Syn :kiss:
 
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Review Request

I posted A History Of Madness at the beginning of the month and, for some strange reason, have received no votes, comments, or anything. To me, this seems somewhat strange. Also, although I can't be sure, I don't think it was ever mentioned here. It has an audio version, as well...

Anyway, I'm always eager for meaningful feedback!

xoxo

Fflow
 
New Poems of 2/24/05

There are 14 new submissions on the fourth Thursday in February, and I have one non-erotic "spinner" from the past.

For today's goldie I bring a poem from almost two years ago.

It took only one spin to find this poem by jd4george. I am old enough to have been there. Actually I was there when a quarter got you three songs from the jukebox, or a beer during Happy Hour. Free Street Bar Scene, 1970 brings back memories of the glory days.
Free Street Bar Scene, 1970
by jd4george ©

- Revisited with Tathagata, Sandspike
and TheMutt in mind



tiled floors and
boozing bitches sucking lifeblood
through needledink straws
cherries popping in their
lips

quarters clunking through music machines
setting the changer in motion
and lies spin in rpms
the beat is on
gyrating…

thrusting their hips out
to breed hardons of delight
pelvic mutations
masturbations and
come

nightfall they passout
legs quivering apart
smiles plastered askew
whiskey nirvana threatening
climax…

I was criticized last week for only mentioning some of the poems posted, even though I stressed that I was pointing out my personal choices. - So O.K., for you my PMer, since there are only 14 new poems today, I have made comments on all of them in this review. Let us start!

Of the 14 poems of the day, eight are by authors unknown to me. I cannot wax enthusiastic about any of them, but I believe that all new poets should be strongly urged to keep writing and, even more importantly, to keep reading! - So go read their poems and offer some words of encouragement.

********
sophia jane joined Lit. about two weeks ago and already has seven poems posted, two of them today. Today's first is 3 a.m.. This is more of a journal entry than a structured poem. But the poetess expresses a love for the freedom of expression found in poetry.
Her second poem, Invisible I find a little stronger. In this erotic offering the poet discusses the problem of sexuality hidden by motherhood. I think this the better of her two offerings today. Even though "street language" usually turns me off in poetry, it works here to highlight two aspects of woman.

---------

blacklupine has been a member since June of last year. This is only his second poem. Beauty Unrivaled is a love poem with some good images. I kept expecting it to break into rhyme. I do wonder how you see the stars during a snowstorm.

---------

A member for over a year, also with two poems, Karien3474 presents The Devil's Whore and this one does beak into rhyme. . . and a little "Yoda speak" as well. It could easily be reworked into a gently sweet poem. - I would recommend not bothering with the lower case "i"s.

---------

Kindrell has been a member since February of 2003 with thee submitted poems. For You is another rhyming love poem and appears to be typical of many beginning poets in that the writer is more concerned with makings things rhyme than with the poem's content. - Unfortunately, the next step in poetry too often is the complete rejection of rhyme and metre (though few admit even to themselves the reason for this), and some good poets never come back. It takes a mature and talented poet (IMHO) to consistently write good, non-trivial rhyme because it is so much more restrictive than free verse.

---------

Hide and Seek, by simon_shadow is the first poem from a member of two years. This one may be intended more as song lyrics than as a poem to stand alone. Whichever, it could benefit a little from an editing, starting with a human eye spell check.

---------
 
New Poems of 2/24/05

There are 14 new submissions on the fourth Thursday in February, and I have one non-erotic "spinner" from the past.

For today's goldie I bring a poem from almost two years ago.

It took only one spin to find this poem by jd4george. I am old enough to have been there. Actually I was there when a quarter got you three songs from the jukebox, or a beer during Happy Hour. Free Street Bar Scene, 1970 brings back memories of the glory days.
Free Street Bar Scene, 1970
by jd4george ©

- Revisited with Tathagata, Sandspike
and TheMutt in mind



tiled floors and
boozing bitches sucking lifeblood
through needledink straws
cherries popping in their
lips

quarters clunking through music machines
setting the changer in motion
and lies spin in rpms
the beat is on
gyrating…

thrusting their hips out
to breed hardons of delight
pelvic mutations
masturbations and
come

nightfall they passout
legs quivering apart
smiles plastered askew
whiskey nirvana threatening
climax…

I was criticized last week for only mentioning some of the poems posted, even though I stressed that I was pointing out my personal choices. - So O.K., for you my PMer, since there are only 14 new poems today, I have made comments on all of them in this review. Let us start!

Of the 14 poems of the day, eight are by authors unknown to me. I cannot wax enthusiastic about any of them, but I believe that all new poets should be strongly urged to keep writing and, even more importantly, to keep reading! - So go read their poems and offer some words of encouragement.

********
sophia jane joined Lit. about two weeks ago and already has seven poems posted, two of them today. Today's first is 3 a.m.. This is more of a journal entry than a structured poem. But the poetess expresses a love for the freedom of expression found in poetry.
Her second poem, Invisible I find a little stronger. In this erotic offering the poet discusses the problem of sexuality hidden by motherhood. I think this the better of her two offerings today. Even though "street language" usually turns me off in poetry, it works here to highlight two aspects of woman.

---------

blacklupine has been a member since June of last year. This is only his second poem. Beauty Unrivaled is a love poem with some good images. I kept expecting it to break into rhyme. I do wonder how you see the stars during a snowstorm.

---------

A member for over a year, also with two poems, Karien3474 presents The Devil's Whore and this one does beak into rhyme. . . and a little "Yoda speak" as well. It could easily be reworked into a gently sweet poem. - I would recommend not bothering with the lower case "i"s.

---------

Kindrell has been a member since February of 2003 with thee submitted poems. For You is another rhyming love poem and appears to be typical of many beginning poets in that the writer is more concerned with makings things rhyme than with the poem's content. - Unfortunately, the next step in poetry too often is the complete rejection of rhyme and metre (though few admit even to themselves the reason for this), and some good poets never come back. It takes a mature and talented poet (IMHO) to consistently write good, non-trivial rhyme because it is so much more restrictive than free verse.

---------

Hide and Seek, by simon_shadow is the first poem from a member of two years. This one may be intended more as song lyrics than as a poem to stand alone. Whichever, it could benefit a little from an editing, starting with a human eye spell check.

---------
Alex De Kok has been a member since 2000. He has a lot of stories but only five poems. His fifth, Travel Moon is a simple work that draws from a child's rhyme and a folklore name. The theme is common, the words simple, but the basic question asked is well answered.

---------

Another prolific writer that I am not familiar with, Limitations We Writers Accept presents Boxlicker101. In humorous rhyming couplets he deals with the question of trans-specie sex, and the proscription of writing abut it.

********
There are also six poems by poets more familiar to me. (And as I have said before, I am more critical of the work of authors with whose work I am familiar.)

Colleen Thomas is a member of three years and she has Lots of stories, but only five poems. Her submission for today is When she says loverly. It is listed as an erotic poem, but probably more appropriately should be considered a love tribute. (IMO) there is nothing new or captivating in this poem. Considering the ability of this writer I can only rank it as average. - Go read it and see if you agree or not. :rose:

---------

seannelson has been a member for about three and a half months and has already a substantial number of poems listed on his bio page. Meditations Down a Shot-gun Barrel is his posting of the day. It is a list poem and these are always difficult to make interesting. And most of this poem is no exception (IMO). I admit that I do not see the relevance of the title, so I may be missing some profundity. I do however, see a misspelling or two. You should go and read this poem and see what you think of it.

---------

saltwater loving is an erotic poem by a Lit. member of almost three years with two dozen poems to her credit, trendyredhead. This poem is written in a sparse style (not really minimal) and the line structure enhances the poem's effect nicely, leaving mind picture details to the reader's own devise. I like this referential approach to eroticism. It is a cut above the average Literotica erotic submission. Go read it, vote and tell the poet what you think!

---------

This poem by a familiar Poetry Forum contributor, flyguy69, has Grit. It is an erotic poem that demonstrates how one can write a good poem that is also erotic. The structure is first-rate and the enjambment heightens the effect. This one is a solid "5" and a model for others who want to write erotic verse. It is my pick of the day. :rose: :nana: :rose:
This is a must read.
Grit streaks
his whiskered jaw, gathers
in creases at the boot-heel
end of day. Lunchbox clanks
his arrival as he accepts
the kitchen stool offer
of slippers
and solace.
. . .

---------

neonurotic is a fine poet and well known on this forum. He has many works on Lit. and they include three E 's. His gift of the day, Kisses II, is listed as erotic. I see it rather as sweet rather than arousing. It a short piece and starts:
Kisses just shy of lips
are whispers on a steady breeze.
. . .
Go finish the poem and say what you think.

---------

Finally, I come to the first poem in today's list, anti-gaki by twelveoone This is the third " E " awarded this Literotica poet. I am usually put off by works that refer me to another site before it even starts, but all the people who have commented so far think the poem very good. So, being an outsider in this area, I will bow to the PC people and just recommend that you go find out what all the hoopla is about. :)

So that's the wrap for the Thursday fish review.
If it smells like fish, it's a tasty dish. If it smells of cologne, leave it alone!
Fold the newspaper and throw me away, but as always, please go and read the rest of today's new postings on the New Poems page.

Remember to vote, comment, and send feedback.
Our poets need your support.

Regards, Rybka
 
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New Poems 2/25/05

It's Friday. Live with it.

Tathagata is first up with Going, Going, Gonzo, a tribute to the late great Dr Thompson. While I take a different approach on suicide, I have to agree with Tath here in mourning Hunter's decision. But that's opinion. My opinion. This is an excellent poem, and many of the references made me smile:

'Bad sign
when Mr Gonzo checks out'

Seems to be a reference to the checking into and trashing of hotels made famous in Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas and the line "and when the winds right..." feels like something Thomspon himself would write, with his nose for truth always pointed at the worst possible smells. And for all those who commented on the lack of a period after Mr, throughout this poem, isn't that how the good Dr would have wanted it? "Two thumbs!" as the man himself once said. I firmly support this poem. Go and read it, or I'll make you have tea with the Care Bears.

Next up we have Seeker n Finder's submission, To Fly and while it's not done in a style I advocate and I feel that the wording is spotty at best (for example, in the first line, 'see' could easily be replaced with 'watch' and would feel, to my wandering brain, a bit more appropriate) it at least kept my attention the whole way through. Here is someone with a spark, I say to you. The last stanza:

Dreaming to pierce the night time sky to
count the stars and bathe in moonbeams.
Then fly.....fly ..... fly away.

Is its own kind of magic. Read this poem.

Next is mugaboo with time and haven't we all been there? This piece feels a bit more like prose than anything else and that's ok - perhaps some shorter line breaks would do this piece good. Also, some good, strict editing and this would turn into a piece to be happy with. Go check it out, or I'll sic Jesus on you.

Next is ~hellbaby~ with Nothing Lasts Forever and I am left speechless. Interpreting the different shades of feeling I experienced while reading this is difficult to do with a hangover, but it's all pretty much contained within the first two lines of the poem:

"On a rainy, dreary night
the sun broke through the sky"

Go read it for yourself and see if algebra class brought forth something that's special to you.


Satcha, who disdains comments, brings us Ahhh and I suppose it's about sex, but when you steal a line from Christmas poems, you can't expect much enthusiasm from your readers. Sorry, I didn't make it all the way through this on. But I've got ADD and questionable character. You're probably more mature and disciplined, so you go read it.

Shade1986 breaks out Trials of a Heart continuing with what seems to be a running theme today, pain and loss, etc. being the main focus of some of today's submissions. Go check this one out.

masters16 breaks out a poem with the best title I've read today, Thermoluminescence Back At It. And while the title made me grin, all I can say is BREAK THIS UP A BIT. This reads like a randomized journal entry. Chop-chop! Dice it.

tn_greeneyez gives us Breaking the Rules. it's about breaking personal rules. We all do that, now and again, don't we? Go check it out.

Wanton Vixxxen brings out When There Was None and it rhymes. Go read it. I dare you.

mugaboo again graces us with a poem, essence of woman and it's a doozy. Go check it out.

cdavis3337 rings the last bell with [url="http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=187575]Retribution[/url] and it's another story-like rant. I say the same here as before. BREAK IT UP. Chop-chop!

...and that's it.

~D.A.
 
The Review thread has again been cleared of some of its non-review (or mentioning a poem) posts. If you are a missing a post, please check the "to keep the review thread clean" thread.

Current reviewers:
Sunday: Du Lac
Monday: duckiesmut
Tuesday: Trent_Dutch
Wednesday: WickedEve (Let me know if anyone wants this day)
Thursday: Rybka
Friday: DeepAsleep
Saturday: My Erotic Tale

Everyone is welcome to post a review or recommendation on this thread--even your own poem. :)

Also, please remember that the reviewers recommend poetry they personally found of interest. Since we all have our own tastes in poetry, some poems may not be given any recognition by a reviewer. This is where all you readers out there are needed. Please, recommend any poem you feel deserves a mention.

Thanks,
Eve
 
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I like her style!

I decided to do something that I know I need to do on a more regular basis: read the newly posted poetry. The day I decided to read, rather the middle of the night I decided to read, I got to the third poet, sophia jane and read poet mother woman and was drawn in:

This stuck to me and with me:

will any man be able
to hold all three,
to see the complete poet mother woman?

I saw that she had, at the time, only two other poems and the one that I wanted to share was stretch marks...

what man can see that I
may droop and sag
but I am passion
I am sex, I am
pounding, pulsing need.
I am a woman

I think sophia jane is off the beaten path, so let me put up a big yellow sign with a huge black arrow pointing to her work. I can hear some of you saying, "It's too prose-like", but I liked it.
 
NEW POEMS REVIEWS
for Saturday 26, 2005

A small note of some topics that have arised
about the new poem reviews!

There was a humble monk who spoke very
little and always seem to have a pickle in his
hand. They even nick-named him 'Pickle'.
This Monk had in his room a multitude of jars ...
pickling cucumbers in many fashions. It was
very obvious that Monk Pickle liked pickles.

One day an opening came up for the Wednesday
night meals to be prepared. Pickle who said
very little raised his hand and said "I will do
the Wednesday night meal preparation."
There was no objection so all agreed.

On Wednesday Night the meal came out that
Pickle had prepared. And what do you think
they had for Dinner?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

I want to 'thank' all the reviewers for their
time and talent and their eyes sight from a
different perspective. This reviewing takes
a lot of time and is done for the shear passion
for poetry. We are a melting pot of poetic soup
blending and interacting, some are the base and
others the spice some are just plain wettness
(is that like water logged <grin>)
But we are all here for the one
thing that draws us like a magnet ... poetry

so lets have some ...hehehe here we go

(Please post any poem that you find excellent,
please post all replies (thank yous) on the thread ...
to keep the New Poems Reviews thread clear ...)

and here are the poems that moved me today...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sleep too Heavy to Dream by Bill Dada

Bill Dada has been posting some great writes
here lately and this one adds to his witty swirls.
With a short write he say's a lot about the emotions
and metaphor behind the shadow of his love
is his loves lover. He is the shadow in the shadow.

very good poem~

also posted by Bill Dada today
John Donne’s Spirit Leaving ...

Music You Can See
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hot Tin Roof by Savannah Skye

clip~
Under a handful of weeping willows
That delicately sway the truth
In mis-begotten winds blowing her way

~~~~~~~~~~~

I love the southern charm and wicked southern
truths in this poem. The fast trail to the dragon
of demise when freinds like jim jack and johnnie
are found in a bottle >>>>> while love is
exchanging forgiveness for passion. witty poem~

all under the charm of a Savannah Skye~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monstrous Sapling
by seannelson

clip~
and brought enlightened rule to the Milky Way at the point of a light saber,
all as I grew from three to five foot
and kept a balloon from hitting the ground.

~~~~~~~~~~~
seannelson has intrigued us with many
writes this poem is charming and cute.
(is charming and cute the same?)
well it leaves a wistful feel from its
clever poetic-ness (is that a word?)

we could conquer the universe when
we were children but as adults with struggle
with our computers and can openers <grin>

also by sean >>>
a bit more controversial
Drug Seeking Behavior
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Emptiness by tn_greeneyez


clip~
I sought...what
Someone to make me feel

Wanted
Hunted
Sought After.

There he was...and he

~~~~~~~~~~~
witty word wizard poetry~
a descending spiraling display of
moving words that flow together
to melt feelings and emotions together
in an expression of TN's passion behind
her GREEN EYEZ.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
mind shadows
by bluerains

clip~
a flickering flash
crawling through hot skin

liquidated labyrinth
resummoned by
predawn urges

~~~~~~~~~~~
take the trip into the labyrinth of words
in this gripping poem. Each word sparks
a new light into a maze of poetic glances.
Words that crawl through hot skin and shower
you in thoughts projected by bluerains~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Delights of Life

by sack

clip~
Friends
Lovers
Sex
Relationships

Angeline
Wicked Eve
Lauren Hynde
Liar

should I dare ask?
Okay, sack is back ...
I would extend a hand but the asian virus
athuorities are recommending we don't shake
hands during flu season <laughing> and I damn sure
aint gonna hug ya! but sack's musical career is
highlighting and bows humble ... his poems are
light hearted and fun reads this day ... here is
another poem by sack ... that seems to Ryhme

Rhyme Time

~~~~~~~~~~~
it is better to extend a hand
than to clinch a fist ~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
20 Virgins? by Ninja Nookie

clip~
"The explosion will blow away hell!
And 20 virgins for you will ...
it is written so it is!"

~~~~~~~~~~~
a write on the controversial lure that
is extended to the young (some religious sect?) I think ...
correct me if I'm wrong nookie! The offering
of 20 virgins to those who do a suicide bombing?

the ultimate prize
but first you must die

any way you look at it 20 girls are going to
get screwed.

a powerful write and ninja's charming way
to deliver it ... in poetry.


~~~~~~~~~~~

well that's it, if you saw a poem you
want to highlight as a new poem.
it is my understanding that you should
feel free to review and post it.

This week in review ...

Going, Going, Gonzo
by Tathagata

my pick for this week is the tribute to
Mr Hunter Thompson, bows humble (~_~)

and
anti-gaki
by twelveoone
recieved a green "E" congradulations ...

and
Rybka
shows us some unique literary Art with ...
Tree Essence

.............................................
have a safe and joyous week and soothe
the mind with some sparks of write!

thanks for the journey...
 
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Sunday reviews..

After a late night bartending it was a pleasure to get up and do some great reading.. less poems today but many quality works! So let twirl and grab a partner.... as we go down the list!
desktop-girl-sugar-n-spice-3.jpg


My first read was a sad promenade:

My Jealousies Savannah Skye
Great opening!
re;
My phrenic jealousies
Ripple through my mind
With solemn untruths

this really sets the stage for the poem. I wandered throught the green eyed emotions and felt the sad despair with the end... you did well inviting the reader into the destruction of a love through sexual/emotional cynicism. And ty for making me ref. the dictionary!

Frolicing with mental waltzing of a flowers demise... and so much more is:
ZMP~ The last flower song My Erotic Tale

Once again Art you take a simple essence and apply it to a grander scale! Faithful solid perseverance is exhibited in this powerful work... this is strong:

RE:
Still it's bloom will unfold
without worry of it's end
greeting each moment
as if it just began,
The last flower song.

Let us hope no more last flower songs....
Du~

next a mental slam dance to make one stop feel and see..
I Took it Out Seannelson

A mental brattling of the what we discard in lives.... small glimps of useless things thrust together with a pigtailed memory...
ty for the write..
Du Lac~

Beautiful 'pas de deux':
Our great wonder neonurotic

Adagio of hope, love and blessings... Grace ridden and filled with strong emotions I loved the last stanza. This is a true "feeling" poem. Thank you for the read..
Du Lac~

contredanse with the past Sophia jane has a list of great reads but I favored this one:

lessons sophia jane

Inviting warmth on the memory lane that slides easily from your pen.. the ending has a deep sinkhole of lost answers laced with a trailing desire... very strong and personal write...
ty for the write..
Du Lac


Okay all.. Du Lac has to run for a family hoedown... but Part II will be up tonight.. in the meantime.. laugh love write and read..
Du Lac~ :nana:
 
Don't Miss This!

I found this wonderful poem this morning and it took my breath. i didn't want anyone to miss it.

Verbotan by Sabina_Tolchovsky is sizzling sexy, and very well written. I wish it were mine. :rolleyes:

Syn :kiss:
 
A beautiful tanka sequence

that everyone should read: Mou oshimai da by Tathagata.

The tanka is a Japanese poetry form even more ancient than haiku it is generally a five lined poem based upon 5/7/5/7/7 Japanese syllables or Onji. Like haiku, the form is often shortened when written in English. Tathagata has beautifully touched the spirit and form of the tanka in his sequence.

You must read this delicate and touching love poem, one of the best examples of tanka I have seen in a long time.


jim : )
 
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