Depression. Anxiety. Panic Attacks. etc

Tigersman said:

A lot of men, some just boys who bearly needed to shave served in WWII. A good part of them never talked about what they saw or felt. They came home to a hero's welcome unlike mine that were called 'baby killers' and 'losers'. WWII vets were graciously given good care when they got home. Vietnam vets fought tooth and nail to get care for the cancers our vets were diagnosed with from agent orange used to defoliate the forests. Between Vietnam and Iran, Congress made up of our grandfathers and great grandfathers stripped the veterans benefits. It was not until Afganistan and Iraq that some of the benefits were restored.

Yes, we are pussies for believing our country would take care of us when we returned home. We were pussies to believe our Nation's leaders would try to win the war rather than throw our troops lives away like so much garbage.

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yukonnights said:

And of course, every human is different in so many ways. What might not traumatize one person could be the trigger to really mess up another. Our minds are full of little tricks that seem almost impossible to get rid of.

Good point Tigersman mentioned about the shift in society and it's attitude about the wars of the later 20th century. Coming home to a hero's welcome would no doubt make a difference in how the horrific acts of war would be processed in the minds of those who experienced it. But there were also many who suffered PTSD in those wars too, but there just wasn't much said about it... so too many suffered with no help at all back then.

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Vixandra said:

A lot of vets still do. I had to harass the front desk so much they gave me the direct line to psych scheduling and light her phone up repeatedly to get an appointment. My doc is cool, but having to damn near beg for an appointment before the Martian landing is nuts. But unless you have that kind of "no, you broke me, you're gonna help fix me, not six months from now" mentality it's easy to fall between the cracks. The civilian side is not much better and few offer remote counseling (I don't drive anymore).

Personally, anxiety is high lately, especially if it's in public or with someone I'm not super close to behind me. A simple jostle could knock me over, a startle start off spasms. And gods, the looks I get just trying to grocery shop or get the kids Ostra baskets done and using a scooter. I've fainted once in a box store, the concrete flooring hurt like hell and I'd rather not repeat it (I have medical tangle of stuff). But because I look like a relatively healthy, if exhausted, 30'something, I must just be lazy. I hate needing the damn thing, why would anyone use if they didn't have to? It's friggin faster, easier and way less of an open invite for scorn to walk and use a cart.

That personal safety thing is big lately, (damn woman couldn't say "Vix fell" nope just walked by after getting more booze) and being highly unstable walking wise, I find I have to force myself out with/or being trusted ones here.

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yukonnights said:

I know from reading some of your posts that you are having to deal with a whole tangle of health issues...that just really sucks for someone so young and with a family to care for. I have another friend who came back from Vietnam with very severe PTSD/anxiety/whatever they want to call it! He was a spotter in a sniper team...anyway, he ended up buying and riding a motorcycle around the country for over a year after he got back. By his own words, he was unfit for civilization and feared what he might do if cornered (or felt like he was corned). He finally found a Doc who is helping a lot and I can really see the change in him...finally more at peace. So, keep pestering the VA ! And don't hesitate to let your Doc know about the hassles your getting trying to see him/her...perhaps the Doc can help smooth things out with the appointments ??? (I know words here don't help much...but at least you know we hear you ) (EDIT to add: Don't hesitate to contact your Congressional office and see if they can put some grease on the appointments...part of their job is to help citizens with government red tape.)

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Vixandra said:

In their ever failing attempts at efficiency, patients can only book one appointment at a time. So, yeah, have to bug them tomorrow for what should not be so dang complicated.

I've got blood work sent off to the Mayo Clinic as my quite large hmo doesn't have that level of testing yet. So I get to wait for that. And the tests are sent out so infrequently no one has an eta on results. Considering some of the possible results... not pretty.

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fertile_babygirl said:

Wow. People like me on Lit... Now I feel less insane.

Thank you, OK, for making this thread. Mental health awareness is so important but also... being able to talk to others who get it... who don't say "Shake it off."

You can't. Sometimes you can if you aren't diagnosed with an actual mental illness. Here's mine: Mixed depression and anxiety. Anyone else diagnosed with this here?

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yukonnights said:

A more clear understanding of the issues will perhaps lead to better treatment...hoping for the best for you and yours ~

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cheekygirl75 said:

What is mixed depression? Or do you mean depression and anxiety mixed together? I'm diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I've also recently had avoidance personality disorder mentioned, but when doing some research it seems that there is some debate that this is a separate thing, or if it's a more chronic & severe form of social anxiety.

Welcome to the thread!

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fertile_babygirl said:

Hey, Cheeky. Thank you for the welcome.

Mixed depression and anxiety is one diagnosis. It essentially means that an individual has equal symptoms of both depression and anxiety at the same time. (How the hell... thanks genetics or wherever the hell I got this from... bad coping skills?)

You would be super surprised how many different diagnoses there are for different mental illnesses... especially related to anxiety and depression.

I was diagnosed by my primary care doctor but began with simply "depression" about 9 years ago.

I can't remember if avoidance personality disorder is an actual personality disorder... (I'm a nurse and not a psych nurse but Psych is my favorite subject)

I learned about the DSM-5 in school which essential is:
"The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM–5) is the product of more than 10 years of effort by hundreds of international experts in all aspects of mental health. Their dedication and hard work have yielded an authoritative volume that defines and classifies mental disorders in order to improve diagnoses, treatment, and research"
www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/practice/dsm

Maybe I can dig out my psych book and look it up later. Why was it suggested that you have avoidance personality disorder?

And I am glad I can talk to others about this...

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• Way of thinking about oneself and others
• Way of responding emotionally
• Way of relating to other people
• Way of controlling one’s behavior

cheekygirl75 said:

Huh, interesting - I've never heard of mixed depression & anxiety. To be honest, I'm not even entirely sure what my "official" diagnosis is. But yeah, thanks genetic legacy!

So yeah, avoidant personality disorder is a cluster C (anxious or fearful behavior) personality disorder. This is the DSM description:

"Avoidant personality disorder: a pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy and extreme sensitivity to criticism. A person with avoidant personality disorder may be unwilling to get involved with people unless he/she is certain of being liked, be preoccupied with being criticized or rejected, or may view himself/herself as being inferior or socially inept."

The DSM also says that a personality disorder is a long term pattern of behavior seen in at least 2 of 4 areas:

• Way of thinking about oneself and others
• Way of responding emotionally
• Way of relating to other people
• Way of controlling one’s behavior

I can check off the behaviors in AvPD in all four of those areas, so I guess it makes sense for me. But I'm still not sure how it's so different than social anxiety. I've met several people with social anxiety recently, through Meetup groups & an anxiety therapy group, and the only thing I can come up with so far is that mine is more to do with maintaining relationships, or having closer relationships. So for example, going to a social event with new people won't make me really anxious, but having a deeper, more personal discussion with a friend, especially if I'm telling them something new about me or if I'm upset with them, makes me super anxious.

It is definitely helpful to talk to others about this! How are you doing with it lately?

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fertile_babygirl said:

Hey, Cheeky. Thank you for the welcome.

Mixed depression and anxiety is one diagnosis. It essentially means that an individual has equal symptoms of both depression and anxiety at the same time. (How the hell... thanks genetics or wherever the hell I got this from... bad coping skills?)

You would be super surprised how many different diagnoses there are for different mental illnesses... especially related to anxiety and depression.

I was diagnosed by my primary care doctor but began with simply "depression" about 9 years ago.

I can't remember if avoidance personality disorder is an actual personality disorder... (I'm a nurse and not a psych nurse but Psych is my favorite subject)

I learned about the DSM-5 in school which essential is:
"The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM–5) is the product of more than 10 years of effort by hundreds of international experts in all aspects of mental health. Their dedication and hard work have yielded an authoritative volume that defines and classifies mental disorders in order to improve diagnoses, treatment, and research"
www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/practice/dsm

Maybe I can dig out my psych book and look it up later. Why was it suggested that you have avoidance personality disorder?

And I am glad I can talk to others about this...

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cheekygirl75 said:

Huh, interesting - I've never heard of mixed depression & anxiety. To be honest, I'm not even entirely sure what my "official" diagnosis is. But yeah, thanks genetic legacy!

So yeah, avoidant personality disorder is a cluster C (anxious or fearful behavior) personality disorder. This is the DSM description:

"Avoidant personality disorder: a pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy and extreme sensitivity to criticism. A person with avoidant personality disorder may be unwilling to get involved with people unless he/she is certain of being liked, be preoccupied with being criticized or rejected, or may view himself/herself as being inferior or socially inept."

The DSM also says that a personality disorder is a long term pattern of behavior seen in at least 2 of 4 areas:

• Way of thinking about oneself and others
• Way of responding emotionally
• Way of relating to other people
• Way of controlling one’s behavior

I can check off the behaviors in AvPD in all four of those areas, so I guess it makes sense for me. But I'm still not sure how it's so different than social anxiety. I've met several people with social anxiety recently, through Meetup groups & an anxiety therapy group, and the only thing I can come up with so far is that mine is more to do with maintaining relationships, or having closer relationships. So for example, going to a social event with new people won't make me really anxious, but having a deeper, more personal discussion with a friend, especially if I'm telling them something new about me or if I'm upset with them, makes me super anxious.

It is definitely helpful to talk to others about this! How are you doing with it lately?

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Vixandra said:

I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety (with attacks on the later) so its a legit thing. And holy lobster tails, does that Avoidant personality disorder hit home in some ways. I don't like new people because I have to explain all the things and the no touchy (had to explain once if you aren't fucking me you can't hug me) and losing my trust means one is unlikely to ever get it back. And people get so riled up when you tell them you don't want a hug, like its their right to one and when I say no its offensive. Not close friends, but acquaintances.

Also, therapy, if you're really working on it with the therapist, is frigging exhausting- no one told me this before. I've had to let my boss know I probably won't be working the next day but will pick up a weekend day if anythings undone on Friday (high emotion piss off my fibromyalgia and movement disorder). But its helping.

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yukonnights said:

Bummer that you are carrying such a heavy load...and the fibromyalgia + restless movement disorders on top of it I have a very close friend who has fibromyalgia and restless leg syndrome and her biggest complaint is the loss of sleep which sets up a downward spiral effect...and then, everything just gets worse on top of worse. I'm not qualified to say with any authority that this is of value...but: She found the use of medical marijuana to be helpful. She is getting better sleep and much less restless leg movement in general. It appears you are in California, so perhaps worth checking into maybe?

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Vixandra said:

I've held my medical card for over a year now. I can't smoke it, though if I'm not having rib pain or diaphragm spasms, I can use an ice and water bong. Mostly I'm edibles though. And amounts that stupidly others, barely touch the pain. Add the face we're on a fixed income and I gotta feed my kids first, plus there's no reimbursement from any insurance company I know I'd for medical mmj, it's sometimes rough to ration out so I don't have nights without it.

Don't get me wrong, it's a help. But my disorders have managed to synchronize so when one goes off the other does too. Had one night with 125mg of thc plus 20mg Valium and still had to take a shot of tablespoon of my tincture to get my body to stop overall spasms. Plus the results from one brand to another are huge. Liquid Gold is a weaker high (better for new to edibles) while I wouldn't give a Punch Bar dose to someone without a high tolerance for edibles. Either way, it's not cheap and I wish I could take prescription pain meds but either they won't prescribe them to a 34 year old or I'm allergic to it or I know it doesn't work. It's part of why my HMO was willing to send blood out to Mayo- nothing we've tried has made any significant improvements and I've worsened in the last year sharply.

New kitten I plan to train as an emotional support cat (yes, I know the legalities) actually rode with me as hubby drove to the dispensary today so she starts getting used to harness and trips out. I have a lot of anxiety about falling in public and when alone at home, she is already starting to come to me when I fall so I'm not alone. Getting her used to car rides now and then outings once she's for sure eight weeks (cause she seems six to me) and can get vaccinated.

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yukonnights said:

I knew I was cutting the details short in regard to the medical-marijuana. My friend has shared some of that detail and I've read some just out of curiosity. So yes, it's a real art to get the correct balance of THC and CBD's. She also uses only edibles, but is able to grow her own here where we live and makes her own concentrate and then brownies, which makes it very cost effective. She did find though that she has to wean off every once in awhile since her body builds up some resistance to it...but that's true with many medications. Also, prolonged use can put her into a "slump" which she doesn't like and weaning off sort of resets everything back to square one.

I had no idea that cats could be trained as service animals. That is a great bit of info since cats are generally easier to care for than dogs! As I read your post about falling and since the cat already comes to you I thought...would it be helpful to get one of those little push button alarms that she might be able to have on her a collar or harness? That way if you ever did really hurt yourself you could summon help...just a thought.

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Vixandra said:

Also, therapy, if you're really working on it with the therapist, is frigging exhausting- no one told me this before. I've had to let my boss know I probably won't be working the next day but will pick up a weekend day if anythings undone on Friday (high emotion piss off my fibromyalgia and movement disorder). But its helping.

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yukonnights said:

So this is probably a dumb question...but: In your Meetup and other groups have you learned any techniques that might help build up some ability to resist the anxiety of being closer emotionally with another person? I have a friend who has an avoidance like issue with physical touch. We've been talking about me trying to help him become more comfortable with that, so any tips/advice would be appreciated ~

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cheekygirl75 said:

Well, the anxiety group I go to really focuses on that, using exposure therapy. So it's not about figuring out why certain things, situations, etc. make us anxious, just about finding ways to slowly build up tolerance and eventually, hopefully, overcome the anxiety. Each week we're supposed to come up with a plan for interacting, for lack of better word, in some way with whatever makes us anxious and then in the group we sort of observe the results.

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Vixandra said:

...On the sweeter side, hubby and I came to the agreement that while a trained service dog may not be much help (and I couldn't care for it by myself), a cat could be trained to get "dad" on command or when I fall and she'd be a companion, since migraines have me working from my blackout curtained room. She's a little calico and calm af. Strange big dog sniffing me, no prob, moms here, I'm okay.

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