A Woman Loses Her Vagina on the Subway...

WolfLarsen

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A Woman Forgets Her Vagina on the Subway…
A short story by Wolf Larsen

A woman forgot her vagina on the subway. So she went to the lost and found department of the public transportation authority of her city.

“May I help you?” asked the woman behind the counter of the lost and found.
“Yes, I’m looking for my vagina, I lost it on the subway,” said the young lady.
“Can you describe your vagina?” asked the lady behind the counter. “Does it have any distinguishing characteristics?”
“No, I can’t think of anything. It’s just an ordinary everyday vagina,” said the young lady.

So the woman behind the lost and found counter gave the young lady a drawer full of lost vaginas. The young lady was going through the drawer full of lost vaginas trying to find her vagina, but she couldn’t find it.

That’s when Al Capone the gangster showed up. Al Capone had a giant vagina in the middle of his face. Al Capone asked, “hey, is anybody missing a vagina?”

“Say!” exclaimed the young lady. “That looks like my vagina!”
“Well the plastic surgeons screwed up!” exclaimed Al Capone. “And he put this vagina in the middle of my face!”
“Who’s your plastic surgeon?” asked the young lady.
“Richard Pryor is my plastic surgeon,” responded Al Capone.
“But Richard Pryor is dead!” responded the young lady.

So the young lady and Al Capone took the escalator up to heaven to talk to Richard Pryor.
When they got there they found to their surprise Richard Pryor sitting on God’s throne.

“Richard Pryor, what are you doing sitting on God’s throne?” asked the young lady and Al Capone.
“There’s been a change of management,” responded Richard Pryor.

“Richard Pryor we have a problem with your plastic surgery!” said Al Capone.
“Just a moment, I have to make some rain,” said Richard Pryor. And with that Richard Pryor pulled out his penis and urinated all over the earth from the cloud he was standing on.

When he was finished Richard Pryor said: “I sold my cosmetic surgery practice to Rick Santorum. So you’ll have to go talk to him.”
Later, the young lady and Al Capone found Rick Santorum. Rick Santorum was dressed up as a transvestite and giving Wolf Larsen a blow job.

“Hey Rick Santorum, we have to talk to you!” said the young lady and Al Capone.
“Not now,” said Rick Santorum. “Can’t you see I’m busy giving wolf Larsen a blow job? Go sit in the waiting room until I’m done!”

So Rick Santorum was giving me one hell of a great blow job! But then just when I was about to cum Rick Santorum stopped and said, “the time is now 7:00. Time to get up! The time is now 7:00. Time to get up!”

And I woke up all mad! This was the second time Rick Santorum a given me a blow job in a dream, and each time Rick Santorum didn’t have the decency to finish what he started!

Copyright 2014 by Wolf Larsen
 
I am not sure if that was supposed to be funny, dry humor or just random, but it was very plain and boring. No motivation for the characters, they were all 1 dimensional. Poor Richard would be rolling in his grave that you made him trite and forgettable. Even random writing has some redeeming value to it. I would love a response to see what it was here.
 
The thread title caught my eye. The short story title does not agree with thread title - did she lose or forget her vagina?

I laughed out loud at the appearance of Al Capone, but his first statement seems unneeded.

You've written a piece that could be hilarious, but you walk it around the barn too many times before getting it inside.

There are a number of grammatical errors that need to be corrected. Maybe asking one of the volunteer editors to check it would be helpful.

This has a lot of potential, so, please, give it another look and, maybe, get some assistance. Great mind!
 
It reads like a joke, but has no punchline. The story makes no sense. It doesn't appear to have any point. I'm afraid I have to say I dislike it.
 
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