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Old 03-02-2014, 01:12 PM   #376
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I would tell you a couple Polish jokes I know, except I hate having to spend time explaining them, too.
What does that mean?

How can you tell a Polish firing squad? They stand in a circle.

What do you do when a Polish soldier throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

hear about the Polish man that drowned when his pick up went under water? Poor guy couldn't get the tail gate down.

How can you tell a Polish pirate? The patch is over the good eye.
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Old 03-02-2014, 01:14 PM   #377
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Man, this isn't looking good for my partner I'm telling bad jokes in the middle of writing one of my parts of the story.
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Old 03-02-2014, 01:18 PM   #378
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Man, this isn't looking good for my partner I'm telling bad jokes in the middle of writing one of my parts of the story.
Fortunately for me, I passed the story off this morning and get to work on a different story for a while. Strange working on two pieces at once. Not the way I usually work.

As long as no one mentions blonde jokes or elephant jokes (or even blonde elephant jokes for that matter) - maybe this thread will slip back on topic?
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Old 03-02-2014, 01:23 PM   #379
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Fortunately for me, I passed the story off this morning and get to work on a different story for a while. Strange working on two pieces at once. Not the way I usually work.

As long as no one mentions blonde jokes or elephant jokes (or even blonde elephant jokes for that matter) - maybe this thread will slip back on topic?
Okay, but just one.

My favorite blonde joke.

Two women work in an office, a blonde and a brunette.

The brunette receives a gorgeous bouquet of roses from her boyfriend and the blonde says

'Wow those are beautiful!"

The brunette replies, "Yeah, they are, but now I'm going to have to have my legs spread all night for them."

The blonde frowns and says, "What's the matter, you don't have a vase?"
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Old 03-02-2014, 01:26 PM   #380
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Okay, but just one.

My favorite blonde joke.

Two women work in an office, a blonde and a brunette.

The brunette receives a gorgeous bouquet of roses from her boyfriend and the blonde says

'Wow those are beautiful!"

The brunette replies, "Yeah, they are, but now I'm going to have to have my legs spread all night for them."

The blonde frowns and says, "What's the matter, you don't have a vase?"
I'll differ to you. I make it a habit NOT to pick on blondes because so many of them are actually brunettes in disguise. Now go back to writing before your partner gets pissed that you're not carrying your weight!!!
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Old 03-02-2014, 01:28 PM   #381
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I'll differ to you. I make it a habit NOT to pick on blondes because so many of them are actually brunettes in disguise. Now go back to writing before your partner gets pissed that you're not carrying your weight!!!
What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence.

On a porn related note, interesting that the old porn ideal was a busty blonde and these days its a small chested brunette.
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Old 03-02-2014, 02:09 PM   #382
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What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence.

On a porn related note, interesting that the old porn ideal was a busty blonde and these days its a small chested brunette.
Everyone playing against type, I guess. What's next? Average sized peni?
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Old 03-02-2014, 03:05 PM   #383
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A blind guy walks into a bar, sits down and says, "So, anyone want to hear a blonde joke?"

The bartender says, "I'm an ex-marine and I'm blonde."

The woman next to him says, "I'm a third degree black belt in karate and I'm blonde."

The man to his other side says, "I'm an Olympic champion wrestler and I'm blonde."

The bartender says, "So, do you still want to tell that blonde joke?"

The blind guy answers, "Nah, I don't want to have to explain it three times."
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Old 03-02-2014, 04:07 PM   #384
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My partner and I have our bunny and I believe she is hammering out the first portion already...

This isn't a cow joke but... What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming to you.

Three women are in a bar, A blonde, a brunette and a green haired punk rocker (yeah everyone expects a red head) Bartender asks the brunette what she wants. She says "I'll take an MGD." The blonde asks, "What is an MGD?" "Bartender answers, "Duh, It's a Miller Genuine Draft." Next he asks the punk rocker "I'll take a PBR." "What's a PBR," asked the blonde. "Duh, it's a Pabst Blue Ribbon" replied the bartender. Finally he asks the blonde, "What'll you have?" Blonde replies, "I don't care for beer so I'll just have a 15." "15? What the fuck is a 15," asked the bartender. The blonde replies, "It's a 7 and 7...DUH."

Let's see polish joke....How do you tell the bride fro the groom at a polish wedding? She's the one with the braided pit hair.
And with that bad joke, I'll gracefully slink away.
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Old 03-02-2014, 04:16 PM   #385
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A blind man comes into a fish shop, waves merrily and says "Hi, girls."

Fun fact: I am blind, but my sense of smell is actually worse than my eyesight. But even so, I can can easily tell the difference between a shop and a bar. Or between fish and girls, for that matter. No need to sharpen the knives :-)

Back on topic: Working with my partner is a joy. Their order vs. my chaos, and shooting story fragments to and fro keeps the motivation up. But then, it's only the first weekend... dun dun dunnnnn!
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Old 03-02-2014, 04:39 PM   #386
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What does a dog with no legs and a cigarette have in common?

Every night you go out for a drag
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Old 03-02-2014, 04:51 PM   #387
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saxon_Hart View Post
This isn't a cow joke but... What doyou call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming to you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovecraft68 View Post
What does a dog with no legs and a cigarette have in common?

Every night you go out for a drag
And where do FIND a dog with no legs? Where ever you left him.

If you take him swimming, you should change his name to Bob.

Leave him on your front door step, Matt is the best name.

How do you lose a dog with no legs? Take him to the top of a hill and tell him roll over. (and over... and over...)

Still waiting on my co-author to fix the drivel I sent them!
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Old 03-02-2014, 04:53 PM   #388
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And where do FIND a dog with no legs? Where ever you left him.

If you take him swimming, you should change his name to Bob.

Leave him on your front door step, Matt is the best name.

How do you lose a dog with no legs? Take him to the top of a hill and tell him roll over. (and over... and over...)

Still waiting on my co-author to fix the drivel I sent them!
no legs and under a car? Jack!

What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs in the wind? Con sway lo!

Oh, man I'm going back to middle school here.

No arms no legs on a wall? Art.

A woman no arms no legs on the beach, Sandy

A.....

okay going to stop now.
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Old 03-02-2014, 10:21 PM   #389
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Please, please, PLEASE!!! I am absolutely BEGGING any and all tag team participants to stop with the bad puns and especially the cow jokes!!! The sad, tragic truth of my life is - I know WA-AAY too many cow jokes and will humiliate myself at the drop of another poor joke to share.

You have been warned.
Hey, I tried with the baby and dead squirrel joke. If that didn't stop it, nothing will.

What's black and white and goes, black,white,black,white,black,white...

A Holstein rolling down a hill.
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Old 03-02-2014, 10:28 PM   #390
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Oh, man I'm going back to middle school here.
When I was in middle school it was Ethiopian jokes. Big famine then, lots of room for humor right?

Kids can be twisted.

And then they grow up.

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Old 03-02-2014, 10:37 PM   #391
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When I was in middle school it was Ethiopian jokes. Big famine then, lots of room for humor right?

Kids can be twisted.

And then they grow up.

And we're still twisted, only in different directions.
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Old 03-02-2014, 10:41 PM   #392
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When I was in middle school it was Ethiopian jokes. Big famine then, lots of room for humor right?

Kids can be twisted.

And then they grow up.

I remember those, you'd make the okay sign and say "Ethiopian headlock"
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Old 03-02-2014, 10:42 PM   #393
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When I was in middle school it was Ethiopian jokes. Big famine then, lots of room for humor right?

Kids can be twisted.

And then they grow up.

Or not.
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Old 03-02-2014, 10:43 PM   #394
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I remember the Ethiopian famine from the Weekly Reader.

Also the Bubble Boy.
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Old 03-02-2014, 11:55 PM   #395
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Ethiopian jokes, shit jokes, and paraplegic jokes and Helen Keller jokes. The more taboo the funnier we thought they were.

A blind guy walks into a store, grabs his seeing eye dog by its handle and starts spinning in a circle. A horrified clerk comes over and asks "May I help you?"
The blind guy says, "Nope. I'm just looking around."
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Everyone brings joy to my life. Some by coming, some by going.

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Old 03-03-2014, 12:02 AM   #396
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Ethiopian jokes, shit jokes, and paraplegic jokes and Helen Keller jokes. The more taboo the funnier we thought they were.

A blind guy walks into a store, grabs his seeing eye dog by its handle and starts spinning in a circle. A horrified clerk comes over and asks "May I help you?"
The blind guy says, "Nope. I'm just looking around."
Sigh - I'll hate myself a bit for repeating this, but it does make me laugh.

Why don't more blind people skydive?

Scares the dog too much.

(Sorry Blind_Justice and anyone else!)
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Old 03-03-2014, 01:45 AM   #397
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A man walks into a bar with a duck under his arm.

The bartender says, "We don't serve pigs like that in here."

The man replies, "This is not a pig."

The bartender says, "I was talking to the duck."

I know, I know, lame.
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Old 03-03-2014, 02:04 AM   #398
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So how is the first weekend going?

Do you have your bunnies? Still hashing that out?

How's your style match with your partners?

One thing I've been sensing and this contest proves it is that my approach seems to be a lot different than other people's as to how I get my ideas and what I do with them.
My partner and my biggest problem is that we are both being possibly too nice to each other. Having said that I am enjoying the experience a lot so far and think i lucked out with a great partner who doesn't seem to mind that they got the weird Aussie chick. So thanks for that LadyVer!

We are taking one of our plot bunnies out for a workout and its a lot of fun! We seem to be on the same page with our ideas for the story.

I hope everyone's biggest problem is as trivial as mine
Good luck everyone i can wait to read them all.

PS: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick!
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Old 03-03-2014, 02:40 AM   #399
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So far so good, I think the challenge is being met and like the introduction of syncro-mesh gears there is a learning curve to weave two voices into one story. We seem to be taking the path that we both contribute rather than assume one role each, that is rather challenging yet oddly rewarding. I am finding the back and forth a new light on the creative process, I am having to "justify" my choices and explain "why" I see it the way I see it. It is like a behind the scenes bonus documentary playing out live with me in it as it happens. Hopefully the result is as good as the process, then it will be a pretty good story told. So thank you LC and Ladyver and my partner, and the Academy, and . . . this Tag Team Competition.
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Old 03-03-2014, 08:48 AM   #400
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So far, the main problem my partner and I are having is actually carving out the time to write. But we'll get there. Still hashing out story details, but that doesn't seem like a problem, just a task to do.
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