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Old 01-12-2018, 03:03 AM   #976
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Hey, as long as I get booked, I'm good.
‘Tantra workshops’ and ‘Tantrum workshops’ are not the same!
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Old 01-12-2018, 02:45 PM   #977
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Tantrums and Meltdowns are not the same thing. Who knew?
Neither are pretty.
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Old 01-12-2018, 03:42 PM   #978
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Don't be petty.
Where in the world did you ever learn to pack a bag of groceries? Here, let me do it. Sheesh!
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Old 01-12-2018, 05:27 PM   #979
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Where in the world did you ever learn to shag a fag with groceries? Here, let me do it. Sheesh!
Well, I’m sorry girl, but he specifically asked for me. And besides that, he told me to be careful and tender, to start with some asparagus, and build up from there. And I really don’t think he will appreciate it to see you entering the scene with that zucchini you’re holding there. I honestly think he might get a little upset about that.
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Old 01-12-2018, 06:46 PM   #980
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Well, I’m sorry, I couldn't get carrots, just asparagus, and zucchini. Do you honestly think he might get upset about that?
Well, he wanted to make pot roast so . . .
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Old 01-12-2018, 08:46 PM   #981
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Well, he wanted to be spit roasted, so . . .
I don't think he meant it literally!
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Old 01-12-2018, 09:17 PM   #982
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I don't think he meant "bite me" literally!
Hey, I don't generally bite hard but he said it so vehemently . . . *shrug*
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Old 01-13-2018, 12:54 AM   #983
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Hey, I don't generally bite hard-ons, but he did it so violently . . . *shrug*
Sounds like he got what he deserved.
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Old 01-13-2018, 01:02 AM   #984
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Hey, I don't generally bite hard, but I bite meaningfully.

There’s a difference.
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Old 01-13-2018, 01:15 AM   #985
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In my daughter's bed while she was at work.
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Old 01-13-2018, 02:11 AM   #986
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Finally found the cat in my daughter's bed while she was at work.
Cats are like that.
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Old 01-13-2018, 03:22 AM   #987
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A cat in a hat is worth two in a zoo.
That depends on the size of the zoo, the size of the cat, and the size of the hat. Value is arbitrary.
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Old 01-13-2018, 04:32 AM   #988
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Cats are like that.
Cats are kinda pretty much like that. Just the way they are.
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Old 01-13-2018, 04:35 AM   #989
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This touches some very complex matters; Schrödinger’s cat, relativity, perhaps even Darwin’s evolution theory…
Just answer the question; do you like these shoes, yes or no?
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Old 01-13-2018, 10:54 AM   #990
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Just answer the question; do you like cashews, yes or no?
Well, yes, but I'm not hungry right now. It's coffee time. Thank you anyway.
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Old 01-13-2018, 03:44 PM   #991
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Well, yes, but I'm not Hungarian right now. It's cofefe time. Thank you for acknowledging that I'm the greatest erotica writer of all time.
I think your comments may result in fire and fury like the world has never seen.
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Old 01-13-2018, 04:26 PM   #992
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I think your comments may produce fire and fury in the hearts of all covfefe lovers the world over.
All I said was that I LIKE flavored coffees. God save us from the purists.
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Old 01-13-2018, 04:34 PM   #993
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God save us from the puritans.
For the pure-in-heart are always with us.
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Old 01-13-2018, 05:07 PM   #994
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For overpriced shoes are always with us.
You know basketball players are only shoe salesmen, right?
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Old 01-13-2018, 05:31 PM   #995
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You know basketball players are only people allowed to be shoe salesmen, right?
Damn, no wonder I kept getting turned down for that position! Should have put that I played basketball in middle school.
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Old 01-13-2018, 05:44 PM   #996
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Damn, no wonder I kept getting turned down for that position! Should have put that I played drama in middle school.
Well, talking about all the drinking games might have worked against you.
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Old 01-13-2018, 06:29 PM   #997
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Well, talking about all the reindeer games might have worked against you.
But I only know about one game reindeers pl . . . ohhhhh. Gotcha.
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Old 01-13-2018, 09:21 PM   #998
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But I only know about one game Mr. and Mrs.Claus play.
They really are perverts, actually.
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Old 01-13-2018, 09:46 PM   #999
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They really are perfect dears, actually.
You really met them?!
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Old 01-13-2018, 09:48 PM   #1000
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You nearly ate them?!
They were very realistic-looking, you know.
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