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How to ask Mom if I can fap in her room?

Jada59 said:
Normal people wouldn't ask about your cock size. I don't care who they are. They also wouldn't walk into your room while you were masturbating. If they were bothered by it they would likely knock on the door and tell you to be more quiet. Sounds like you live in a dream world!
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Yeah well I don't. That's just how me and my Mom are. I don't know why its so hard to understand. She frequently asks me the penis size question because she's just curious. I've never told her. And she did walk in one time. She wasn't looking at my penis or anything, she was just looking at my face and told me that she had a friend coming over so I should not masturbate now.

Also about your '' kick me out of the house '' comment. You think I should be kicked out of the house for just asking a question? You're talking as if I've just barged into her room and whipped out my penis in front of her or done something outrageous like that.
 
PineappleKevin said:
If my Mom had a problem with what happened during that vacation, don't you think she would have told me? Don't you think she would have told me to go and do it in the bathroom?

My Mom's not afraid of me in any way. She's always spoken in her mind and we've been in several fights before.
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She probably didn't know what to do. And I should think that a mother and son of that age most likely wouldn't be in the same bed to begin with.

For all I know, none of that even happened for real. You are just wanting someone to tell you that this is okay. Dream on.
 
Emerson40 said:
This here is why your wee porkies have more holes than your most treasured wank sock.
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Yeah I did't really get that part. I know you think you've just cracked some case like Sherlock Holmes, but you haven't. Just because I said we talk about everything, doesn't mean that I'm comfortable asking this questions. That's why I'm posting it here to talk about it first.
 
indiesoul said:
You're avoiding accountability.

Silence doesn't mean consent.
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I don't know if you read my other thread, but during that same vacation I had done it a second time. This time I asked her to leave the room for 15 minutes. But she walked back in after 5 minutes while I was still at it because she wanted to take her USB cable. And when she did this, she looked at me and laughed at me.

That doesn't sound like discomfort to me. If someone was disturbed by that sort of behavior they wouldn't laugh in a situation like that.
 
PineappleKevin said:
If my Mom had a problem with what happened during that vacation, don't you think she would have told me? Don't you think she would have told me to go and do it in the bathroom?

My Mom's not afraid of me in any way. She's always spoken in her mind and we've been in several fights before.
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At How To, there's a focus on real-world practicality. Your mother has apparently been telling you for some time that she's not comfortable with your fetish, but you brush it off and ignore her so that you can continue enjoying yourself.
 
PineappleKevin said:
Yeah well I don't. That's just how me and my Mom are. I don't know why its so hard to understand. She frequently asks me the penis size question because she's just curious. I've never told her. And she did walk in one time. She wasn't looking at my penis or anything, she was just looking at my face and told me that she had a friend coming over so I should not masturbate now.

Also about your '' kick me out of the house '' comment. You think I should be kicked out of the house for just asking a question? You're talking as if I've just barged into her room and whipped out my penis in front of her or done something outrageous like that.
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I have never been curious about anyone's cock size and I am probably older than your mom.

I have never told anyone not to masturbate. That is kind of weird. I have told people that they should do it in private if they are going to do it. And no, I won't say who those people were.

No one should be kicked out just for asking a question. But you don't just want to ask a question. You are trying to engage her in your fetish/fantasy. And example of a mere question would be, "Would you like tacos for dinner?"

If I lived with someone who was not my romantic partner and they asked me that specific question, that would be the end of their living there. Period. I would feel too skeeved out to even want to be around them again. Ever.
 
Jada59 said:
She probably didn't know what to do. And I should think that a mother and son of that age most likely wouldn't be in the same bed to begin with.

For all I know, none of that even happened for real. You are just wanting someone to tell you that this is okay. Dream on.
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Listen I have nothing to gain by lying here. If this was some erotic story that I was making up, then I would have posted it in the stories section.

We were on the same bed because we were staying in the same room during that vacation. And we sometimes sleep on the same bed at home too. Nothing sexual, just because we're close.

Give me one reason why I would lie? I'm posting this here just to get an idea of what the outcome of my question would be before I actually ask her. Making lies and providing inaccurate information would not help me in any way over here.
 
GrrlFriday said:
At How To, there's a focus on real-world practicality. Your mother has apparently been telling you for some time that she's not comfortable with your fetish, but you brush it off and ignore her so that you can continue enjoying yourself.
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Yeah and how has she been telling me? Explain.

I know my Mom. She never beats around the bush, she says it like it is.
 
PineappleKevin said:
Yeah and how has she been telling me? Explain.

I know my Mom. She never beats around the bush, she says it like it is.
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Bramblethorn broke it down quite well. As did indiesoul - laughter is often used to cover discomfort.
 
indiesoul said:
Your poor mother, at least she can still find humor in the small things.

P.S. I laugh a lot when I'm uncomfortable.
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She wasn't uncomfortable, it was a no holes barred laugh. Why the hell would she walk back in when she knew what I was doing? Explain that at least? She could have easily waited for another 10 minutes till I was done.
 
GrrlFriday said:
Bramblethorn broke it down quite well. As did indiesoul - laughter is often used to cover discomfort.
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There was no discomfort! She walked back in off her own accord. Even I got shocked when she walked back in, I wasn't expecting it. She could have easily waited for just another 10 minutes until I was done. But she didn't wait. That clearly means that she's not uncomfortable around me!

FFS!
 
PineappleKevin said:
I don't know if you read my other thread, but during that same vacation I had done it a second time. This time I asked her to leave the room for 15 minutes. But she walked back in after 5 minutes while I was still at it because she wanted to take her USB cable. And when she did this, she looked at me and laughed at me.

That doesn't sound like discomfort to me. If someone was disturbed by that sort of behavior they wouldn't laugh in a situation like that.
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Again, we don't know the particulars of this purported vacation and I for one don't care to hear any more details.

I am a female though and I can remember incidents in which I did not feel comfortable at all. And yet? There wasn't much I felt I could do about it.

Given the scenario of being with some guy in a hotel room... I should imagine that we would be far from home. Maybe he was my ride home. Maybe I was his ride home. Whatever. Maybe I would just try to make the best of it and hope that it didn't escalate to something else. Two many unknowns here.

But what I do know is that I will not side with you on this no matter how you spin it.
 
PineappleKevin said:
There was no discomfort! She walked back in off her own accord. Even I got shocked when she walked back in, I wasn't expecting it. She could have easily waited for just another 10 minutes until I was done. But she didn't wait. That clearly means that she's not uncomfortable around me!

FFS!
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How To is all about real-world practicality. You're not going to find someone saying this situation is OK here.
 
Jada59 said:
Again, we don't know the particulars of this purported vacation and I for one don't care to hear any more details.

I am a female though and I can remember incidents in which I did not feel comfortable at all. And yet? There wasn't much I felt I could do about it.

Given the scenario of being with some guy in a hotel room... I should imagine that we would be far from him. Maybe he was my ride home. Maybe I was his ride home. Whatever. Maybe I would just try to make the best of it and hope that it didn't escalate to something else. Two many unknowns here.

But what I do know is that I will not side with you on this no matter how you spin it.
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I'm not '' some guy ''. I'm her son. She had nothing to lose. It's actually me who's depending on her because she's my ride home.

The thing is, she probably thought the incident had nothing to do with her. She thought I was just horny and that's why I was masturbating. She didn't have a problem with that. My mom's very confrontational whenever there's a problem. She's hit me many times too in the past when we've had fights. It wasn't a big deal because I'm much bigger than her, so its never hurt. The point is that, she's very upfront with me.

You do realize that some families are just open about such matters right? There are nudist familes who openly walk around nude in front of each other. My Mom's not a nudist, but she's comfortable with open masturbation. She simply doesn't care.
 
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PineappleKevin said:
There was no discomfort! She walked back in off her own accord. Even I got shocked when she walked back in, I wasn't expecting it. She could have easily waited for just another 10 minutes until I was done. But she didn't wait. That clearly means that she's not uncomfortable around me!

FFS!
Click to expand...

She shouldn't have had to leave to begin with. And nothing is clear about this. Unless you're a psychic, you have no clue what was going through her mind.

She probably thought you would stop when she came back in. Maybe she was in shock? Who knows. I don't see anyone playing along with your story though.

Maybe you should write about this and submit the story. I think you'd get a lot farther than trying to find people here to side with you in this thread.
 
PineappleKevin said:
I'm not '' some guy ''. I'm her son. She had nothing to lose. It's actually me who's depending on her because she's my ride home.

The thing is, she probably thought the incident had nothing to do with her. She thought I was just horny and that's why I was masturbating. She didn't have a problem with that. My mom's very confrontational whenever there's a problem. She's hit me many times too in the past when we've had fights. It wasn't a big deal because I'm much bigger than her, so its never hurt. The point is that, she's very upfront with me.

You do realize that some families are just open about such matters right? There are nudist familes who openly walk around nude in front of each other. My Mom's not a nudist, but she's comfortable with open masturbation. She simply doesn't care.
Click to expand...

You're her son - it's a lifelong relationship. Please think about this a bit more.
 
PineappleKevin said:
I'm not '' some guy ''. I'm her son. She had nothing to lose. It's actually me who's depending on her because she's my ride home.

The thing is, she probably thought the incident had nothing to do with her. She thought I was just horny and that's why I was masturbating. She didn't have a problem with that. My mom's very confrontational whenever there's a problem. She's hit me many times too in the past when we've had fights. It wasn't a big deal because I'm much bigger than her, so its never hurt. The point is that, she's very upfront with me.

You do realize that some families are just open about such matters right? There are nudist familes who openly walk around nude in front of each other. My Mom's not a nudist, but she's comfortable with open masturbation. She simply doesn't care.
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Addressing the first sentence only. She didn't want to leave you stranded there because you're her son and based on what you said, you have no income and no other way home.

I can't bring myself to read the rest of it. And... I don't know what you do to pineapples. I have a very active imagination. I am already thinking of things. Things I don't want to be thinking of.
 
Jada59 said:
Addressing the first sentence only. She didn't want to leave you stranded there because you're her son and based on what you said, you have no income and no other way home.

I can't bring myself to read the rest of it. And... I don't know what you do to pineapples. I have a very active imagination. I am already thinking of things. Things I don't want to be thinking of.
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Don't be silly. The pineapple is an acidic fruit. Nobody would want to try anything with that.

What you're saying makes absolutely no sense. I don't care what situation I'm in, if my Mom has a problem with me, she'll tell me. My mom has shouted at me, sworn at me (called me every bad word in the book), hit me, always given me a piece of her mind no matter what the situation. If she was upset, she would have taken advantage of the situation and said something like '' If you want to go back home with me, then don't do that sh*t again alright? ''.

And plus when we got back home, she would have brought it up again. Because now we're already home and the situation has changed. She didn't bring it up.
 
PineappleKevin said:
That doesn't sound like discomfort to me. If someone was disturbed by that sort of behavior they wouldn't laugh in a situation like that.
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If she's so cool with everything, which is what you're fundamentally saying now, why the question in the first place?

This is going further and further into the absurd, it really is.

If you reckon she's cool with it all, just walk into the room and say, "Hi mom, mind if I have a wank? You don't need to look or anything, and it doesn't mean I have a thing for you, but yes, those were your panties with my cum all over them. Sorry about that, but it'll happen again, I'm sure. It doesn't mean anything, though."

"Sure, Kevin, I don't mind at all."

Do that, report back; or, seriously, buy her flowers. FFS.
 
So, to recap: you and your mom are super open with each other and can totally talk about anything. She doesn’t even freak out when you’re lying in the same bed and you start tugging one out. But even with all that openness, you supposedly need our help with asking her if it’s ok to go whack off in her bedroom? Only one of those two things can be true, and my suspicion is neither of them actually is. Congrats on a great troll thread, dude. This has been an entertaining read! :D
 
PineappleKevin said:
Don't be silly. The pineapple is an acidic fruit. Nobody would want to try anything with that.

What you're saying makes absolutely no sense. I don't care what situation I'm in, if my Mom has a problem with me, she'll tell me. My mom has shouted at me, sworn at me (called me every bad word in the book), hit me, always given me a piece of her mind no matter what the situation. If she was upset, she would have taken advantage of the situation and said something like '' If you want to go back home with me, then don't do that sh*t again alright? ''.

And plus when we got back home, she would have brought it up again. Because now we're already home and the situation has changed. She didn't bring it up.
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There is no social script for dealing with your adult, socially-anxious son including you in his sex life by: masturbating in front of you, masturbating in your shared bed, taking your panties to masturbate with, etc.

Every time she has told you that she is uncomfortable or laughed at you, you brush it off and ignore her.
 
Something tells me ol’ Kev here is having a wee wank on his pineapple now, all worked up over everyone telling him how wrong it is, just so he can repost the same ‘I’m rubbing it and ma is fine with me rubbing it because us, we can talk about everything, but even though I’m rubbing it and she is totally cool with me rubbing it in front of her and in the same bed, can one of you all tell me how to ask her about me rubbing it in front of her, which by the way, she has no problem with because we talk about my peni and wank habits and she’s even seen me yoinking it and is fine with it, cause our thing is special and different and we can talk about anything, even me and my wanky vacation, so can you tell me how to ask her about pulling my pud on her pillows’ schtick.
 
Emerson40 said:
Something tells me ol’ Kev here is having a wee wank on his pineapple now, all worked up over everyone telling him how wrong it is, just so he can repost the same ‘I’m rubbing it and ma is fine with me rubbing it because us, we can talk about everything, but even though I’m rubbing it and she is totally cool with me rubbing it in front of her and in the same bed, can one of you all tell me how to ask her about me rubbing it in front of her, which by the way, she has no problem with because we talk about my peni and wank habits and she’s even seen me yoinking it and is fine with it, cause our thing is special and different and we can talk about anything, even me and my wanky vacation, so can you tell me how to ask her about pulling my pud on her pillows’ schtick.
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I think you are correct.
 
*to the tune of the SpongeBob Squarepants theme*

WHHHHHOOOOOOO...
Yoinks in a pineapple all over mom’s sheets?
WANKIN’ KEVIN!​
Whose fingers are stained with Doritos cheese?
WANKIN’ KEVIN!​
Who can’t buy a clue, even when they’re free?
WANKIN’ KEVIN!​
Fappin’ to responses to his repeated pleas
WANKINNNNN’ KEVINNNN!!!!​





You likey the Peenie Coladas,
And getting caught by your ma!
tumblr_inline_mfx08wONYF1qe2omi.png
 
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