Coping with mental illness in the real world

Oh goodness. I fell asleep shortly after posting this and, aside from people arguing or whatever, I appreciate the support and encouragement more than I have words to say. A big hug for all of you.

Also, I do appreciate most of the suggestions given. I noticed therapy and meds came up a lot and I'm in no way dissing what works for others, but for me personally these were things I utilized for years without success. Neither therapy nor meds worked for me and I'm not open to going back to that lifestyle, but that is totally okay if it works for other people.

PissKitten said:

Neither therapy nor meds worked for me and I'm not open to going back to that lifestyle, but that is totally okay if it works for other people.

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What you might consider is talking to a dietician or nutritionist and have them review what you eat daily. A lack or excess of some vitamins and minerals can have odd effects.

jaF0 said:

What you might consider is talking to a dietician or nutritionist and have them review what you eat daily. A lack or excess of some vitamins and minerals can have odd effects.

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I agree with this. For me, medication helps, but it is also with diet and exercise. For a while I was able to go with just diet and exercise which was great. As cliche as it sounds, yoga was surprisingly nice. Not for on the spot help, but a general well-being. Learning to breath with yoga helped in other cases where I was more panicked.

I think, for a lot of people, a lifestyle change is really not what they want to hear about. The quick fix always seems like he best option. What I’ve learned though, is that it takes time and a hell of a lot of effort and hard work. It’s taken me years to get where I am and I could still go further.

I want to want to thank everyone once again for all the kind words, shared experiences, and encouragement. I know there are real people that are typing the words on the screen I'm reading, but sometimes the internet can feel like just that - words on a screen.

The past couple days, however, between these posts and the kindly messages I've received, it's been like hearing from friends. I appreciate that so much.

My interview is in a couple of hours and I am still very nervous, but I'm taking to heart the solid advice that has been given to me. This is the first interview I've been able to get in a very long time, but I am certain I will get this job. If not, I know I will still be okay.

Thank you all again for caring and taking the time out of your day to give me a few words. I will make sure to post how everything plays out.

PK

Good Luck!

oggbashan said:

Some advice for the interview:

The people who called you for the interview WANT to employ someone. They are not holding interviews for their personal amusement or to put the candidates through a massive ordeal. They want an employee.

They will expect some candidates to be nervous, some possibly so nervous that they cannot give a real impression of their competence. Admitting that you are worried about the interview is normal.

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Seconding all of this. I've interviewed a few candidates, and it's always been about looking for the attributes we need, not about trying to shoot them down.

I would much take a candidate who has enough self-awareness and honesty to acknowledge nervousness, over somebody who tries to bluster their way through the interview pretending they know it all.

30 Years+

I have been dealing my own mental illness for over 30 years. I have been stable now for the last 15 or so years. I wish I could summarize for you some pithy words that will help you, but that would be presumptuous of me. What I can say:

• I have a great psychiatrist and therapist who has helped me immensely.
• During some years, my depression and anxiety were overwhelming to me, requiring hospitalization (that was now 16+ years ago).
• Even in the worst times, I did not give up on myself. Even when I did not see a way forward.
• I have taken and still take prescribed medications that I consider to be essential.
• I am fortunate to have a wonderful family who have been supportive over the years.
• My medication needs changed over the years; what I take now is different from and less than what I used to take.
• What works for one person may not work for another.
• I have researched about my situation extensively on the web; this has helped me understand what goes on with me. I have also read a lot of books.
• The root causes of my situation lay in my early family life (may not be true for everyone, but true for me).

I feel for you and empathize with you. And wish you the very best.

txgent101 said:

[*]I have researched about my situation extensively on the web; this has helped me understand what goes on with me. I have also read a lot of books.
[*]The root causes of my situation lay in my early family life (may not be true for everyone, but true for me).

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I connected with much of what you shared - thank you for sharing a little bit with me, and to everyone else who has done so in this thread. The bits that I quoted above stick with me the most, I think, because I've come to realize that one of the strongest tools I have in the fight for my mental health and in life is the power of knowledge. My issues, I guess we'll say, stem from a mix of genetic predisotion to certain illnesses, and to my early life as well.

I am not comfortable going into too much detail about this in a public post, but researching what I'm going through and where I've been has helped tremendously in my quest to understanding and attempting to come to terms with it all. For me at least, it's true that knowing other people are dealing with and have dealt with the same issues relieves my self-given stigmas and fears.

.....

I've been ghosting since the original posting. Decent thread and some good replies.

I was going to keep my mouth shut as the primary concern seemed to be the interview and I've never given a good interview in my life.

"Where do I see myself in five years? Well, I'd like to be on that side of the desk."

"My greatest weakness? Mmm. I would say answering idiotic questions in such a way the person asking them doesn't realize I think they are a moron."

Yeah. No. Not my strong suit by a long shot.

However, I've got a wee bit of first hand knowledge about battling life-long clinical depression and agoraphobia (and for the past decade PD which hasn't helped the other two just a whole lot).

One small niggling detail I didn't see mentioned in the other thoughtful posts is this; the less I've been around people, the harder it becomes to be around people. (*And yeah, I totally get what you mean about it being vastly different typing on here than having someone in my face or even just talking on the phone.)

I don't know diddly, but it almost seems like people are an allergen of sorts. The more one is around them, the more desensitized to them one becomes. The less one is around them, the more they can affect one when they can't be avoided.

I guess an option might be to hang out in a café near a college campus drinking coffee if you can stand it. Sort of inoculate against the nervousness by being around the loudest, brashest, and most egocentric examples of the species. (Personally, just the thought makes my palms sweat and my breathing shallow, but you seem to be tougher than me at this moment in time.)

Anyway, that probably didn't help. But, I thought I'd toss it out there in case it might.

Either way, best of luck for a brighter tomorrow.

PuckIt, this is the first time I've seen you around but I feel like I've connected with you in a weird way. Probably some of the most sound/relatable advice I've gotten in a while!

I know our problems are different in nature but I have a hard time being in loud, busy environments as well because I think I get sensory overloaded or something, which causes extreme physical responses (loss of vision, disorientation, nausea, faintness, etc) and usually triggers flashbacks even though my trauma has nothing to do with loudness or such. Anyway, that's why your advice to push myself to stand a busy cafe hit home. It is an exercise I must do my best to try.

But you are beyond right - not being around people makes it harder to be around people. It's a crap thing but I find a little relief in the fact someone else feels this way too. My husband thinks I'm antisocial or hate going out/doing things, but it's seriously just physically painful and so fucking exhausting being around people. I always come home ready for bed midday after socializing...

Also, I never thought of the people/allergen metaphor before. That's a really interesting way to think of it, and a good change of perspective for me to adopt since the concept of allergies is easier to understand than anxiety. A great anxiety and depression tool I've been using recently is something I found on Tumblr (I know). The idea is to treat your anxiety or depression as a friend that is anxious or depressed. Not only does it help remind me that they are not who I am, but it helps me practice healthy and helpful self care. For example, if you are depressed, how would you help a depressed friend? A warm blanket, cuddles, and their favorite movie? Make yourself into a blanket burrito, cuddle someone/a pet/stuffed animal/pillow, and put on your favorite movie.

As a final little thing, I just wanna say thanks for not mentioning doctors or meds. That seems to be a recurring advice on this thread despite my insistence that this is not a route that has ever worked for me despite multiple doctors, hospitals, and many years of every med combo in the book. For me, this made me much worse. Not everyone gets better with meds, vitamins, etc. If they work for someone that is wonderful amnd they should absolutely do what helps them. But that is just not my case. Working with my triggers, carefully testing my limits, researching my issues and reaching out to others who have similar experiences - these help me more than meds can. Sure a drug might be able to help during a flashback or something, but I am learning to overcome them and come to terms with everything. I'm not wanting to cover up the feelings, I'm wanting to work through them.

PissKitten said:

As a final little thing, I just wanna say thanks for not mentioning doctors or meds. That seems to be a recurring advice on this thread despite my insistence that this is not a route that has ever worked for me despite multiple doctors, hospitals, and many years of every med combo in the book. For me, this made me much worse. Not everyone gets better with meds, vitamins, etc. If they work for someone that is wonderful amnd they should absolutely do what helps them. But that is just not my case. Working with my triggers, carefully testing my limits, researching my issues and reaching out to others who have similar experiences - these help me more than meds can. Sure a drug might be able to help during a flashback or something, but I am learning to overcome them and come to terms with everything. I'm not wanting to cover up the feelings, I'm wanting to work through them.

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The Docs and Pills crowd don't get it. They don't think it's possible to 'get better' without all that. Those of us in the real world tend to figure out what causes things and simply do what we find necessary to work through them, or avoid the things that cause them.

Department Stores :-(

PissKitten said:

I know our problems are different in nature but I have a hard time being in loud, busy environments as well because I think I get sensory overloaded or something, which causes extreme physical responses (loss of vision, disorientation, nausea, faintness, etc) and usually triggers flashbacks even though my trauma has nothing to do with loudness or such.

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I identify with this in a certain way. I have had actual panic attacks in department stores. Especially ones where the goods are stacked to the aisles and high above. Like I am being suffocated with merchandise. BB&B is the worst for me. It is like the items are reaching out to me to buy them. And people milling all around me. Ughhh. That's why I treasure Amazon Prime!

You guys...

I GOT THE JOB!!!

PissKitten said:

You guys...

I GOT THE JOB!!!

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Congratulations!

PissKitten said:

You guys...

I GOT THE JOB!!!

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Cool.

And no 'scrips involved. How 'bout them beans, eh?

PissKitten said:

You guys...

I GOT THE JOB!!!

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That's great news PK
... been following this thread and happy for you.
Liked the idea of treating your depression as though it was someone else

PissKitten said:

The idea is to treat your anxiety or depression as a friend that is anxious or depressed. Not only does it help remind me that they are not who I am, but it helps me practice healthy and helpful self care. For example, if you are depressed, how would you help a depressed friend? A warm blanket, cuddles, and their favorite movie? Make yourself into a blanket burrito, cuddle someone/a pet/stuffed animal/pillow, and put on your favorite movie.

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Some might be surprised (others might be appalled) at what I do for me to get me through rough spots ... like holidays.

PissKitten said:

You guys...

I GOT THE JOB!!!

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Congratulations

PissKitten said:

You guys...

I GOT THE JOB!!!

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Congratulations. A new door has opened and life has changed.
ONWARD AND UPWARD!

PissKitten said:

You guys...

I GOT THE JOB!!!

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Congratulations, I'm really happy for you!

Been checking this thread out, waiting for your report.

Thank you again, everyone, for being so supportive on a site you wouldn't expect support from. I'm still nervous about starting the job but in a good way - I guess anticipatory would be a better way to put it. I'm so excited to start furthering myself, career, and education.

Relearning how to be around people constantly and maintain my depression and anxiety at work will be a task, but it's better that I'm doing so in a position I'm confident in as opposed to a position out of my field of experience.

The only thing that bothers me at the moment, as dumb as it is? This optimism. The self-deprication of my depression is picking at it slowly. Equally, anxiety is simmering in the background over a lack of current anxiety... These are common things, it seems, for these issues to try to ruin one's achievements and moments of happiness despite trying to enjoy them. I'm sure some of you coping with your own struggles have dealt with this as well, too. I thought mentioning it may strike a chord with someone out there reading so they know others have wrestled with depression/anxiety trying to eat their happy moments for the shits and giggles too.

PissKitten said:

Thank you again, everyone, for being so supportive on a site you wouldn't expect support from. I'm still nervous about starting the job but in a good way - I guess anticipatory would be a better way to put it. I'm so excited to start furthering myself, career, and education.

Relearning how to be around people constantly and maintain my depression and anxiety at work will be a task, but it's better that I'm doing so in a position I'm confident in as opposed to a position out of my field of experience.

The only thing that bothers me at the moment, as dumb as it is? This optimism. The self-deprication of my depression is picking at it slowly. Equally, anxiety is simmering in the background over a lack of current anxiety... These are common things, it seems, for these issues to try to ruin one's achievements and moments of happiness despite trying to enjoy them. I'm sure some of you coping with your own struggles have dealt with this as well, too. I thought mentioning it may strike a chord with someone out there reading so they know others have wrestled with depression/anxiety trying to eat their happy moments for the shits and giggles too.

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Anxiety is not always a bad thing. It serves to heighten your awareness and sharpen your focus. Relax, enjoy and good luck.

PissKitten said:

Thank you again, everyone, for being so supportive on a site you wouldn't expect support from. I'm still nervous about starting the job but in a good way - I guess anticipatory would be a better way to put it. I'm so excited to start furthering myself, career, and education.

Relearning how to be around people constantly and maintain my depression and anxiety at work will be a task, but it's better that I'm doing so in a position I'm confident in as opposed to a position out of my field of experience.

The only thing that bothers me at the moment, as dumb as it is? This optimism. The self-deprication of my depression is picking at it slowly. Equally, anxiety is simmering in the background over a lack of current anxiety... These are common things, it seems, for these issues to try to ruin one's achievements and moments of happiness despite trying to enjoy them. I'm sure some of you coping with your own struggles have dealt with this as well, too. I thought mentioning it may strike a chord with someone out there reading so they know others have wrestled with depression/anxiety trying to eat their happy moments for the shits and giggles too.

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First, CONGRATULATIONS!

The other thing I would say is that last paragraph doesn't sound dumb to me at all.

(((edited because I came back and read and the rest of what I typed was really stupid.)))

But, congratulations and best of luck!

PissKitten said:

The only thing that bothers me at the moment, as dumb as it is? This optimism. The self-deprication of my depression is picking at it slowly. Equally, anxiety is simmering in the background over a lack of current anxiety...

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That's a normal mental process, so don't be spooked by it. Yes, the thoughts will be there, but that's all they are: "what ifs" . Keep telling those thoughts what you'd say to that third person you'd give advice to. I'd say your aim right now is to be mindful of things that trigger your mood and work out strategies to avoid them.